The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy] [CASSIUS CH 1!!]

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wyverngem
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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#61 Post by wyverngem » Mon Jun 16, 2014 11:12 pm

:D This looks like it will be a fun experience for gaming. I'm looking forward to seeing how you write the characters and how you handle the without gender mc. I'm all for it. I have trouble with the demo saying it's malicious, but this might just be Chrome reacting to it.

I guess, I'm a little confused on the routes. Traditionally, I get how it can be challenging to see a specific route and end up going through text to realize it's the fifth time and you still ended up on the wrong path. I thought that was part of the game play for otome game, player-choices move the mc down a certain path and after the first play through the player starts trying to strategies and analyse "where was the break?". I also notice in a lot of professional game, "side hangout" take away points from the ending your trying to achieve.

Don't take me wrong, I think this is a good idea. I'm just curious how you've executed that in your writing?

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#62 Post by Cafechan » Thu Jun 19, 2014 3:14 am

wyverngem wrote:I have trouble with the demo saying it's malicious, but this might just be Chrome reacting to it.
It's a Chrome thing. I've seen a lot of Chrome users having issues with their browser telling them that every visual novel is malicious...
I guess, I'm a little confused on the routes. Traditionally, I get how it can be challenging to see a specific route and end up going through text to realize it's the fifth time and you still ended up on the wrong path. I thought that was part of the game play for otome game, player-choices move the mc down a certain path and after the first play through the player starts trying to strategies and analyse "where was the break?".
The routes are all pretty much completely separated, drastically different stories. Aside from a few somewhat similar events in certain routes, there's pretty much NO plot overlap amongst any of the six routes. The only thing they share is the prologue.

At the end of the prologue, you can basically choose which route you're interested in. And once you've finished a route, you'll be given the option to skip the prologue right to the point where you choose a route, that way you can easily read the other stories without skipping through the prologue six times. I hope that makes sense!

I also notice in a lot of professional game, "side hangout" take away points from the ending your trying to achieve.
They won't! It'll have no bearing on the main storyline. I'm being very careful not to penalize the player for silly things like hanging out with other characters, or for having an opinion contrary to what their chosen love interest might think.

I hope I understood your question properly, hehe!

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#63 Post by fioricca » Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:00 am

Gosh, what a cute demo! You people are coming up with so many awesome games nowadays, I can't keep up *o* I'm one of those people who are fairly anal about widescreen aspect ratio, but I can ignore it in favour of the characters. First up: the presentation is really sweet. I love how each character gets a CG just in the prologue. The number of backgrounds that you have is impressive and I really liked Krystoff's and Shawn's CGs, they were my favourite for the composition. I felt that you should probably show the CG first instead of the character sprite for Shawn's scene but either way, it works. I thought that the pink UI looked great on the title screen but the textbox didn't mesh too well with the colours that you have in the game, which were rather muted. But again, it was a minor point.

My favourite character is Krystoff /o\ But the others were very endearing. I thought it was fun how Cassius had a bunch of hand gestures to indicate his emotion, and I loved the 'ping-pong!' sound you used when a character cheered up. I also love Rafael's smiley face, that was such a cute concept. I think what really did it for me was Krystoff's CG and sprite poses though lmfao what a charming git get out of my faaace

Jun felt very androgynous to me, so you did a great job on the balance. Strangely though it makes me want to hit on the characters less and focus more on Jun's core personality. I treated Jun as you intended, I didn't think of him/her as either a boy or a girl -- and I realise that suddenly I wasn't interested in seeing them in any kind of romance. Being stuffed around non-humans also made me feel that the androgyny is part of Jun's 'non-human' trait. It was a very interesting experience that made me realise my inability to relate to characters that are different to me. (And I hope I'm not sounding offensive here, I'm just laying down my honest thoughts of the experience I had.)

eta; Wait, I did some more thinking and I think the fact that the MC is androgynous felt a bit like... okay, maybe this is done in consideration of players who are asexual, so perhaps they're the target audience and I'm not. I'm not sure if that makes sense, I'm still trying to sort my thoughts out.

In short, great demo, and I'm looking forward to seeing more. :Db

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#64 Post by Cafechan » Fri Jul 04, 2014 3:16 am

Thank you so much for playing!! I'm really happy for your feedback.
fioricca wrote:I felt that you should probably show the CG first instead of the character sprite for Shawn's scene but either way, it works.
I agree. I've changed this. It was confusing before =)

I think what really did it for me was Krystoff's CG and sprite poses though lmfao what a charming git get out of my faaace
Hehehehehe!!! I'm glad!! To be honest, he's my personal favorite. I knew if I wrote his intro too long, he'd steal the spotlight last minute, so I intentionally made his scene very short. He does enough damage in a short timespan.....
eta; Wait, I did some more thinking and I think the fact that the MC is androgynous felt a bit like... okay, maybe this is done in consideration of players who are asexual, so perhaps they're the target audience and I'm not. I'm not sure if that makes sense, I'm still trying to sort my thoughts out.
It's funny that you say this! It was never my intention to make Jun asexual (or much of anything, really, I wanted to leave that particular aspect of Jun to reader interpretation). In part, this stems from my refusal to write about physical attraction, even in romance stories. Usually early on in otome games, the protag establishes their interest in the guys presented to them through some comment on their looks ("he's so handsome" or "i get flustered when he looks at me with those serious eyes" or something of that nature), which I have nothing against but I feel extremely awkward when I write about it. So I generally just.................... avoid it... (<- professional writing tactic)

Without being terribly spoilery, Jun's level of "romance" on each route sort of varies, depending on the character and the choices you make. Some are definitely more on the platonic side than others... I hope that won't end up disappointing anyone.

MY BABBLING ASIDE, I'm glad you were able to enjoy it even if you didn't relate to the main character! Thanks again for playing!
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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#65 Post by sasquatchii » Fri Jul 04, 2014 8:55 am

Oh, my. These character designs are both awesome and hilarious. I just downloaded the demo, and am so excited to start it!!

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#66 Post by try10 » Wed Jul 09, 2014 5:15 pm

Although I wasn't so sure about playing a game where the bachelors were guys with musical instruments as their head, robots and zombies :shock: . After I finished it, I really wanted more and I wonder how will this kind of romance develop. I'm interested about the MC's past and I want to know more about the duenkhy. The plot is original, the art is lovely and the dialogue is well written. My favorite characters are Krystoff and Calisto since they look more human :oops: than the others. I wish you the best of luck with this project! :D

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#67 Post by Cafechan » Thu Jul 10, 2014 6:21 pm

sasquatchii, I hope you enjoy it!!
try10, heehee, thank you so much!! I knew that the odd bachelors might turn some people off, but I figured there's already plenty of games with handsome human guys, so I decided to get a little crazy!!!!

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#68 Post by MadlyHazel » Thu Jul 10, 2014 9:28 pm

I'll admit, I was kind of iffy about the whole romance with monsters and such, but not that I've played the demo, I really love the idea! It's certainly not something you see every day, and I think that's why I'm so interested in it. Also, a gender neutral character? SAY NO MORE. It's a very unique idea, and I'm absolutely loving on it.

The characters here are also great! I think my favorite so far is Cassius. Even though he doesn't really have much of a face and you can't tell much about what he's thinking, his actions are adorable. He's like a puppy, basically. It might also be my musician self that's found an interest in him, but, nonetheless, he's cute! I really hope that I'll get to see more about him and his story when the full game finally comes out.

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#69 Post by Cafechan » Sat Jul 19, 2014 1:09 am

I'm so glad it's caught your interest!! And I'm very happy you like Cassius. His route is finished, and I'd have to say it's probably one of the ones I'm most satisfied with.
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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#70 Post by KittyKatStar » Sat Jul 19, 2014 3:16 am

Good luck with the move, and college. ^_^ And it sounds like you've made some awesome progress so far.
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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#71 Post by Ran08 » Sat Jul 19, 2014 3:27 am

Oh my, this looks really nice. Haha. :D And reading the feedback excites me! I think this will be a great game. Haha. The art itself is so interesting.

Downloading right now~

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#72 Post by aeiou2626 » Sat Jul 19, 2014 9:09 pm

Oh man, I LOVE games where the potential love interests are non-human! Extra points if the MC is a human! My favorite would probably have to be Cassius! He just seems so cute~! LOL but can you imagine trying to kiss him--how would that even work? /smooches key/ /D# rings out/ :lol:

Oooooh, Krystoff just seems like such a giant brat D:<! Perfect. I love it. But most of all, I love his hair! I'd probably have to totally lie on that test to get his route, though. :roll: Oh well!

I hear you've been having trouble with Tor. It's been a while since I read through the posts here, so I'll just say some things I got from him! He seems like the reliable good guy that would try his best to help you out, even if you asked something ridiculous of him. Personally, I didn't get a shy vibe from him at all! He just seems modest, perhaps a bit reserved? If he was teased about something previously (read: that flowery love of his :lol: ) then I can see why he'd be embarrassed about bringing up again with others! I'd be embarrassed, too! So while I don't think he's particularly embarrassed about liking things such as baking or flowers, I think that he's a bit nervous about what people's response to it might be. Not that he'd want to admit it so blatantly! But again, that's just the impression I got!

I'm a bit hesitant to ramble on about every character, so I'll just mention my thoughts on Jun! Honestly, when someone mentions the word androgynous, it makes me think of an effeminate looking male, hahaha. Looking at Jun's sprite for a while, I can't tell if I find it more feminine or masculine. I think that's good! Gives people more freedom. Personally, when I'm playing (and by that I mean the demo -weeps-), I think of Jun is biologically female, but identity wise...well, simply Jun, I guess! That's kinda the point though, right? Maybe? Hehe.

ALMOST FORGOT but I'll put this in spoilers since this info was in spoilers lol
Calisto is ftm? I just saw that! Has that always been there?! Man I'm dumb haha. When I read the 'don't worry about the luminescent organ' part, my first thought was not of what was on his head -weeps- :oops:
Bottom line is I really enjoyed the demo! The way you go about the plot and characters makes everything feel new and fresh! Super excited for the full release, even if it takes awhile. Good luck in college!

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] DEMO IS

#73 Post by Cafechan » Tue Jul 22, 2014 3:23 pm

KittyKatStar -- You are always such a sweetheart!! Thank you! =)))

Ran08 -- Thank you! I hope you enjoy it!

aeiou2626 -- Thank you so much for the comments!!!!! I'm happy you like Cassius! I appreciate the comments on Jun very much as well!! =)
Also THANK YOU very much for the Tor advice; these are all good, helpful points, and I'll definitely keep them in mind!
Re: spoilers:
Haha, oh god, nope! That spoiler has always been there. But I think it's a little hard to notice... (sweat)

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] [Demo!]

#74 Post by juniperandlamplight » Fri Aug 22, 2014 4:27 am

Okay, so because I'm super lazy and I've been writing down notes, this will probably read very stream-of-conciousness. These are pretty much just my thoughts while playing the demo, with some additions afterward. I apologize. (Also, please excuse any egregious formatting errors, this is literally my first post on this forum and one of my first forum posts in general - I usually follow the 'lurk moar' way of life, haha.)

"the night air smells a lot cleaner than the air I'm used to" Is the duenkhy society less industrialized? Or in a different area with different infrastructure? - Never mind, this is answered later, Jun lived by a highway. I would be interested to hear of any differences of that sort, though. And how exactly where they lived was created, since they moved off of their original planet. I mean, I can't imagine the humans building this suburbia for them, at least not if the seeming mutual distaste has always existed. Did the humans just move away from certain areas? Did it just become informally segregated? Did the duenkhy build it for themselves, copying the local human style? If so, why would they do that? Is the style different from their home world, did they lose their cultural roots, or do they just want to fit in?

"we still treat each other as strangers. As monsters." This makes me wonder if there were any particular incidents between humans and duenkhy that caused animosity, or if it's just the normal capacity to hate and fear that which is different from oneself.

The colors and design of the textbox kind of confused me a little bit. I mean, I thought that the background and heart was really cute, but for me it really skewed my perception of Jun to the feminine side; given that the GUI is sort of her perception of the word, the vehicle by which we access her thoughts and the world of the game, the fact that the color and design are traditionally 'feminine', made me perceive her as definitely more on the feminine side of androgynous, if not outright female. Since you said you wanted to convey a non-binary/genderfluid character, I think it might be beneficial to consider that angle and possibly do something more gender neutral. Of course, it's definitely possible that you agonized over those choices and I'm just being an ass by bringing my preconceived notions of gender into here. If so, I deeply apologize. If that actually is worthwhile, the other thought I had was that maybe the background/color of the text box could change with the route the player chooses? Feel free to shoot me down mercilessly if that is a terrible idea and/or way too much work.

"You can do anything as long as you have comfortable underwear and sturdy socks." "even I can't resist the charms of miniature stuff" I think I love Jun. Actually, maybe part of the reason that I see Jun as on the feminine side is that I can relate to them on multiple levels, and I identify as female, hmm...
The comment about 'could barely change her hairstyle' - does this indicate that her gender fluidity/androgyny has been a point of contention in human world? If the mask is enough to 'pass' without question- is the duenkhy world more tolerant of/sensitive to differences on the whole? or are its prejudices just a different sort?

Please feel free to ignore me but for some reason Cassius' sprite looks like he's kinda hunched over... I think it's that his arms are in front more than to the side?... Other than that I absolutely love his design! I just can't with him, he seems so cute and sweet. I just want to hug him.

I believe someone mentioned this earlier as well, but I think it would be a good idea to really make a distinction between Tor and Cassius' characters, especially considering that they're both shy, Jun meets them one after another and their body language is sort of similar with the hands pressed together. Tor still does seem to be more outgoing, though that might be because he's sort of in his element and comfortable with performing the IT magic. It makes me wonder how differently Cassius might have come across if Jun met him while he was on his home turf...

Calisto - First, I ADORE his tattoos. I'm a sucker for tattoos (really wish I could think of a good one for myself XP) and his are so awesome, I love the symmetry and intricacy, and I wonder what their origin is, if his species generally has them, if they're personal, what they represent etc.. And okay, I guess that the duenkhy are not more sensitive about differences what with how Calisto is questioning Jun? But maybe he's just feeling rude, haha. At least he apologized. By the end of the conversation I liked him a lot more than I thought I would. His care for Lady wins points, plus he seems a little bit snarky, which I will unabashedly admit is one of my favorite character traits.

Oh, Shawn. I feel so bad for him! Also, I definitely laughed at the 'roadpasses' with the 3BS. I feel you bro, I almost never get streetpass(ed?) when I'm on my 3DS XD. He's another character who deserves a hug. I'm interested to learn more about him, since I don't feel like I got much more than 'reclusive gamer escaping reality(?)' out of him.

Rafael is an interesting character, I feel like there's some of hidden depths to plumb, but that there are probably some conversational minefields there, what with Jun not knowing much about robots with AI (/biological robots?). I do love the idea of teaching him how to cook.

Wow, Krystoff has quite an entrance! He seems to be sort of mysterious and a bit of an asshole right off the bat. What's this about not having 'formally' met before, and that he knows Jun's name without being introduced?! Creepy. OOH, well that makes more sense than him stalking me, but. Still. Rude. Yet I kind of love him. Lol, I feel like he and I could enjoy being terrible together. He's my favorite, other than maybe a tie with Calisto.

This is probably not useful in any way and might just be me, but the transition noise, while I think that it's meant to be like a timer or a clock or something, just always reminds me of an old fashioned light with a pull cord being turned off and on. Maybe I'm just weird.

Also, just a note, I didn't really get a romantic vibe from the prologue - though I have no idea what degree of vibe you were aiming for. It makes sense, since Jun doesn't really know any of them beyond a brief meeting, but to me it felt like Jun was just settling into the community and finding new friends, not particularly noticing them in a romantic manner. Of course, there's plenty of room for that in the actual story, I don't need to put the cart before the horse while the horse is still being readied!

Overall, I really enjoyed the demo, and in particular the character designs were awesome, and I could feel the hints of real people beyond the tropes, especially with Lady and Calisto. (OH, and I can't believe I forgot to mention, mad kudos for making Lady awesome and not just Plot Device, I love her.) Sorry for this terribly rambling compilation of thoughts, I hope it isn't TOO incoherent. And good luck in college, I'm moving into dorms myself very shortly :)

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Re: The Duenkhy [XxB][Otome][Fantasy/Slice of Life] [Demo!]

#75 Post by Cafechan » Sun Aug 24, 2014 3:02 am

My goodness, thank you so much for the detailed feedback!! I seriously appreciate it!!!!!!!!!!!

juniperandlamplight wrote:Did the duenkhy build it for themselves, copying the local human style? If so, why would they do that? Is the style different from their home world, did they lose their cultural roots, or do they just want to fit in?
I guess I kind of vaguely allude to most duenkhy assimilating themselves into human culture in certain routes, but you definitely brought up a lot of good questions that I'll try to address where appropriate!!
The colors and design of the textbox kind of confused me a little bit. I mean, I thought that the background and heart was really cute, but for me it really skewed my perception of Jun to the feminine side; given that the GUI is sort of her perception of the word, the vehicle by which we access her thoughts and the world of the game, the fact that the color and design are traditionally 'feminine', made me perceive her as definitely more on the feminine side of androgynous, if not outright female.
I never thought about it like that! They're girly purely because I like to design girly things, and I am styling the game with mainly female readers in mind (although I'll be thrilled if anyone can enjoy it!) But yeah, perhaps it causes Jun to come off a different way. I'm not sure if I'll change the sheer pink-ness of everything, since I'm kinda aiming for a pink/minty green color theme anyway, but yeah, I'll mess with that!
I think I love Jun.
This makes me so happy =DD
The comment about 'could barely change her hairstyle' - does this indicate that her gender fluidity/androgyny has been a point of contention in human world? If the mask is enough to 'pass' without question- is the duenkhy world more tolerant of/sensitive to differences on the whole? or are its prejudices just a different sort?
Duenkhy are implied to (generally) be more sensitive to each other's differences! Partially because they're all lumped together as "outsiders" on earth and there's a sense of solidarity.
I'm not sure if Jun's issues in the human world will be too explicitly addressed at some point, but
I do think I've hinted in certain routes that some of Jun's difficulties with their parents stems from discrimination against their overall self-expression. Gender is very much a non-issue amongst duenkhy, though.
I believe someone mentioned this earlier as well, but I think it would be a good idea to really make a distinction between Tor and Cassius' characters, especially considering that they're both shy, Jun meets them one after another and their body language is sort of similar with the hands pressed together.
Tor is actually getting a major character rewrite. He'll still be a nice dude, but his presentation is going to change from what you're seeing in the demo. (In fact, I really need to push to get an updated demo out there...)
Calisto - First, I ADORE his tattoos. I'm a sucker for tattoos (really wish I could think of a good one for myself XP) and his are so awesome, I love the symmetry and intricacy, and I wonder what their origin is, if his species generally has them, if they're personal, what they represent etc..
HIS TATS ARE THE SOURCE OF SO MUCH ARTISTIC GRIEF FOR ME so I'm so happy someone likes them♥
And okay, I guess that the duenkhy are not more sensitive about differences what with how Calisto is questioning Jun?
That's unique to Calisto. He's nosy.

This is probably not useful in any way and might just be me, but the transition noise, while I think that it's meant to be like a timer or a clock or something, just always reminds me of an old fashioned light with a pull cord being turned off and on. Maybe I'm just weird.
YEAH that sound is gross LOL most of the sfx were placeholders =D
Also, just a note, I didn't really get a romantic vibe from the prologue - though I have no idea what degree of vibe you were aiming for. It makes sense, since Jun doesn't really know any of them beyond a brief meeting, but to me it felt like Jun was just settling into the community and finding new friends, not particularly noticing them in a romantic manner. Of course, there's plenty of room for that in the actual story, I don't need to put the cart before the horse while the horse is still being readied!
Mmhmm! More or less, I don't want to push romance right from the get-go. I'd like some naturally blossoming relationships. (Maybe that's just too much of how I am... -laughs-)
Overall, I really enjoyed the demo, and in particular the character designs were awesome, and I could feel the hints of real people beyond the tropes, especially with Lady and Calisto. (OH, and I can't believe I forgot to mention, mad kudos for making Lady awesome and not just Plot Device, I love her.) Sorry for this terribly rambling compilation of thoughts, I hope it isn't TOO incoherent. And good luck in college, I'm moving into dorms myself very shortly :)
Gosh, no, thank you so much for all of this!!!!! You have no idea how happy this has made me! I appreciate you taking the time to say so many nice words!!





Speaking of dorms, TODAY I MOVED. It's midnight, but I'm gonna poke around with Shawn's story. The ending is dragging itself out as usual. It's almost done, and then on to Tor. Yay! Hoping to get some art done soon... It's been too long since I've worked on game art...

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