Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Comedy] - DEMO NOV 17

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SweetChiel
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Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Comedy] - DEMO NOV 17

#1 Post by SweetChiel » Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:40 am

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Genre: Otome Fantasy, Adventure, Romance, Comedy
WARNINGS: swearing, blood, death, and a little psychological
Synopsis:

Long ago, when the world was still young and humans have just learned how to write,
Legends of mythical beings traveled over the continents.

Mysteries about the existence of Dragons, Griffins, Unicorns, and many other myths were told in folklores and heritages.

Some even has human characteristics such as Centaurs, Lamias, Anubis, and Kinara Kinari.

But there was one legend.
Lost and much of it is forgotten.
For none now lived to remember it.

A legend about humans with wings and humans with skin tougher than steel.
How they prospered and how they vanished without a trace.

This is a story about...

Birth,
Death,
Peace,
War,
And Love

How it all began from the gift of Blue Crystal
Both a blessing and a curse from the Goddess.

And now,

The Legend shall be unfolded by a human girl.
Title Screen Sneak Peek(UPDATED):
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Background Sample:
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GUI & InGame Sample
UPDATE 8/10/2015 ----- New buttons: Story Log + 25 Save Slots + other GUI (still incomplete, need to code & make Gallery's GUI)
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Characters:
PS: The character's designs are not absolute yet. I will change it when my further research results about Bali/Papua outfit demands it.
Here's our Heroine
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Game Status:
Hi guys! Chiel, an artist striving to make a Visual Novel, is finally here! :D This is a solitary project and I'm determined to finish this no matter what!
The Visual Novel will contain an enormous amount of Indonesian Culture, mainly Bali, Papua, and NTT/NTB. A considerable amount of events such as; traditions, dances, and cultures; are true and exist. I won't change it. Maybe I'll add an encyclopedia in this VN later when I'm familiar enough with Novelty. Do have in mind that there is 'Fantasy' in this game. So not everything in it is true :)

I've just learned how to use Novelty Engine from my friend 3 months ago. Ren'py is difficult for me since I'm blind at doing coding or scripting. I'll be very grateful if anyone can help me with the coding or maybe some link to the tutorials about adding a 'gallery' in Novelty and maybe later in the future when I have more problems.

I'll update every week at Monday, hopefully there are no hindrance for this. I apologize if my English is bad, it's not my native language, but don't worry, my script will be beta-ed by my friends who are quite sparta at correcting english grammar~ For now, I'll focus on the art and assets. My goal with this VN is to introduce Indonesian ancient culture to all of you :) Well I hope the anime-style-mixed-Indonesian-Batik is alright?
Oh and I'm still not sure about the rating. Will it be an adult work since it has swearing, blood, and death?

Game Features:
- 3 love interests
- 6 endings
- 20+ CGs
- Unfortunately, Nusantara won't have any mini games due to my lack of understanding in programming.

Game Progress:
- Story Script : 100% (Demo Finished)
- Word Count: 140,201 take or give.
- Characters : 90% (expressions & maybe new poses)
- Songs & Sound Effects : 90%
- CGs : 100%
- Background : 100%
- Programming : 75%
- GUI : 90%?

Questions For You:
1. Which character stands out the most for you? Why?
2. Does the intro and the art so far interesting?
3. What makes you consider to play this game?
4. Last but not least, do you have any question or critiques? I welcome constructive criticism any time :) Maybe you can see something that I miss or lacking.

Your feedback will be very appreciated. For me, tt's an artist's blood and juice. It keeps me going and stimulates me to make this VN better and better :)
Download DEMO VERSION 1.2 :
Finally the demo is done ladies and gentlemen, I'm aware it still has some weaknesses, like I don't have custom configuration system yet (I don't know how) but I'll try my best to do some research on it.
For now, please enjoy the demo as it is:
MediaFire
Minimum requirements

Windows XP/Vista/7
Graphics hardware that supports DirectX 9.0c.

New Questions For You (If you already played the demo):
1. Which character interests you the most? Why?
2. How was the pacing of the story? Was it too fast or too slow?
3. After waiting for 4 months, did the demo meet your expectations? If not, please tell me why.
4. Any questions about the game or characters? I'll answer them spoiler-free of course :D Feedbacks/Critiques? They're more than welcome!

I'm bouncing off the walls waiting for your reviews! :D
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UPDATE:


1. 7/7/2014 -------- 2 BG, WIP sprites & CG, announced ???'s basic informations On Page 3
2. 7/14/2014 -------- 3 CG sample, WIP BGs, introduced 2 major characters, and the Island Map On Page 4
3. 7/21/2014 -------- 2 BG, WIP children sprites, explained the Forest sequences On Page 5
4. 7/28/2014 -------- 1 BG, WIP 2 Indoor BGs, got a friend to help with BGMs On Page 6
5. 8/4/2014 -------- 2 BG, WIP Outdoor BG, Fixed a CG On Page 6
6. 2 weeks of no update due to AFAid event
7. 8/25/2014 -------- 3 BG, 1 CG Scene, and Update on my schedule On Page 7
8. 9/1/2014 -------- 1 BG WIP 50%, 1 CG, 1 BGM, and Update on my schedule On Page 8
9. 9/8/2014 -------- 1 BG WIP, 1 BG Page 8
10. 9/15/2014 -------- 1 BG , 1 BG fixed Finished BG for Demo On Page 8
11. 9/22/2014 -------- 3 Sprites, completed sprites for demo (not including expressions) On Page 9
12. 9/29/2014 -------- 1 CG complete, 2 CG WIP On Page 9
13. 10/06/2014 -------- 3 First-Time-Meet-CG complete, Programming 5/78, Found a Proof-Reader On Page 10
14. 10/13/2014 -------- Programming 16/78, Preparing Opening/Trailer Video On Page 10
15. 10/20/2014 -------- Programming 48/78, Major Character Expressions Progress On Page 11
16. 10/27/2014 -------- Programming 64/78, ScreenShots will be showed next week, early demo notice On Page 11
17. 11/03/2014 -------- Programming FINISHED, ScreenShots showed, demo in 2 weeks Page 11
18. 11/10/2014 -------- DEMO RELEASED NEXT WEEK~! count down begins :3 Page 11
19. 11/17/2014 -------- DEMO RELEASED~! waiting for reviews :D Page 12
20. 11/24/2014 -------- fixed grammars, CG, added story log & save slots Page 13
21. 12/1/2014 -------- 500 words script + GDG Exhibition Page 13
22. 12/9/2014 -------- Reksa's new Sprite + 1500 words script Page 14
23. 12/15/2014 -------- More research + Preparations script Page 14
24. 12/24/2014 - 3/17/2015.................................... Scriptwriting done up to Rama & Mitra's week 3 event (except Reksa's)
25. 3/30/2015.................................... 1 BG done, 2 BG WIP, 1.2k on Rama's week 4 event Page 16
26. 4/6/2015....................................1 BG done, 1 BG WIP, progress on Reksa's week 4 event Page 17
27. 4/13/2015.................................... 1 BG done, 2 sprites WIP, rewrite Rama's week 4 event Page 17
28. 4/20/2015....................................changed weekly event into monthly event, finished Rama's month 4 event, Reksa's month 4 event 90%, new characters!, WIP last BG 50%, working on minor sillhouettes Page 17
29. 4/27/2015.................................... wrote 27 minor events, 4 chibi pictures, month 4 main event all done except Mitra's, WIP Mitra's attck pose 50%, last BG is done! onward to CGs!, Re-made Tamara's 1st CG (in the bus), minor characters sillhouettes done (except if I forgot someone... 90%) Page 18
30. 5/4/2015.................................... wrote Mitra's month 4 main event 80%,, Rama's month 5 main event at 80%, brainstormed+ revising chapter 4
31. 5/11/2015 - 5/18/2015.................................... 7 CGs line arts done(4 at 50%), Chapter 3 DONE, event 5 Rama DONE, Mitra will not have a sad ending look at Page 19 for more information
32. 5/27/2015 - 5/18/2015.................................... Vacation to Penang, Malaysia from 21st - 25 th May :D go to Page 19 for more information
33. UPDATE 6/1/2105.................................... Main Story Part A 50% & Main Story Part B 20% Page 19
34. UPDATE 6/8/2105.................................... Main Story Part A: 80%, Main Story Part B: Rama's Route : 50% Page 20
35. UPDATE 6/16/2105.................................... Major update on Page 20! :D The staying overnight over my friend's house is a big success!
36. UPDATE 6/22/2105.................................... New feature: Affection Meter, Chapter 4 is finished and in progress of proof-reading, more info on page 20
37. UPDATE 6/29/2105.................................... 4 CGs done, 1 CG at 80%, fixed affection meter, researching more references on page 21
38. UPDATE 7/20/2015 - 8/10/2015 *sry, I forgot to update the 1st page OTL.................................... scripting almost done, assets 90% done (1 Bonus BG + Expressions on the way), CGs all done, BGM+SFX will be searched as I worked on programming later, more info on page 22
39. UPDATE 8/17/2105.................................... fixed some loopholes, Chapter 5's main story part E at 85% on page 23
39. UPDATE 8/24/2105.................................... Script writing is FINISHED! Programming in progress; details on page 24 onwards
40. UPDATE 10/26/2105.................................... programming chapter 5 progress: 89/224 + Now you can toggle the chat box! more details in page 26
41. UPDATE 11/2/2105.................................... programming chapter 5 progress: 121/224 + apologize + bonus picture in page 27
PLEASE READ:


I sometimes forgot to update this page :S I usually update page 14 regarding the scriptwriting progress or if you have a facebook account, feel free to ask/read the weekly update in >>> https://www.facebook.com/NusantaraTLoTWO I'm very active in facebook!
I'm happy to say I'm ALIVE and WILL complete this VN no matter how long it takes :) the deadline for the full version is still August 2015!
Last edited by SweetChiel on Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:52 am, edited 70 times in total.

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#2 Post by Ran08 » Wed Jul 02, 2014 11:33 am

Oh my gosh.

1. Reksa is so hot. Nuff said. Hahaha, kidding. :) All of them are pretty interesting though! My next fave guy is Mitra. Hahaha. I'd probably go for boys like him in real life.

2. The intro, yep! ^^ I love visual novels with other cultures. In fact, it was the VN Nacira that inspired me to make my own game with my own culture! Haha. This is a fresh change from the other visual novels here. They're just so unique and interesting, you know? And the art... oh my gosh, you should know already how awesome your art is! Hahahaha.

3. Aside from the art, which is an obvious plus, I like the premise. :3 I've always been a fan of legends and stuff like those. Hahaha.

4. I have a question! :) When do you plan to release your demo? Can't wait to try this game out~ Hmm, as for critiques... um, there are some errors in your opening post, but they're nothing that a quick proofreading won't fix. :) I bet that you're gonna have it proofread before release anyway. :)

Good luck on this awesome project! I totally can't wait for the release~

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#3 Post by SweetChiel » Wed Jul 02, 2014 1:15 pm

Ran08 wrote:Oh my gosh.

1. Reksa is so hot. Nuff said. Hahaha, kidding. :) All of them are pretty interesting though! My next fave guy is Mitra. Hahaha. I'd probably go for boys like him in real life.

2. The intro, yep! ^^ I love visual novels with other cultures. In fact, it was the VN Nacira that inspired me to make my own game with my own culture! Haha. This is a fresh change from the other visual novels here. They're just so unique and interesting, you know? And the art... oh my gosh, you should know already how awesome your art is! Hahahaha.

3. Aside from the art, which is an obvious plus, I like the premise. :3 I've always been a fan of legends and stuff like those. Hahaha.

4. I have a question! :) When do you plan to release your demo? Can't wait to try this game out~ Hmm, as for critiques... um, there are some errors in your opening post, but they're nothing that a quick proofreading won't fix. :) I bet that you're gonna have it proofread before release anyway. :)

Good luck on this awesome project! I totally can't wait for the release~
oh lol, I'm glad you love them xD Thank you! My babies are happy too now that they're finally out!
ooh, I've never played Nacira before. I'll be sure to check it out :D

as for the proofread, yes I will. Hopefully my friend won't kill me for too many grammar faults and spelling hahahah. But do bear with me if there are mistakes in the grammar when the demo is out >_<

as for the demo release, I was hoping it will be finished in December. If there's any kind of hindrance and problems, I'll say in January. Was it too long or normal? o.o
I usually need 3 days or so to make 1 background or 1 character (not including the expression).

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#4 Post by earlnite » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:06 am

nah nah nah...here am i, Ivory, your senpai...muahahahahaha....XD
#laugh

anyway, finally i can put my answer here:
1. Reksa. he looks like a typical hero for his tribe. and it's awesome, like he's strong and capable in any kind of responsibility.
2. so far...yes! but it would be better if you put more details of colour on your characters' artwork :D
3. because...it's so INDONESIA! and you've got my curiousity to play this game and find the truth behind these guys >_<
4. since these guys are..topless (??), i suggest you make them more..manly man XD. put some muscles on them, but don't too much like Jin Kazama. it would be scary... .___.

anyway, good luck with your project! i'll be waiting for it :)

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#5 Post by SweetChiel » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:29 am

earlnite wrote:nah nah nah...here am i, Ivory, your senpai...muahahahahaha....XD
#laugh

anyway, finally i can put my answer here:
1. Reksa. he looks like a typical hero for his tribe. and it's awesome, like he's strong and capable in any kind of responsibility.
2. so far...yes! but it would be better if you put more details of colour on your characters' artwork :D
3. because...it's so INDONESIA! and you've got my curiousity to play this game and find the truth behind these guys >_<
4. since these guys are..topless (??), i suggest you make them more..manly man XD. put some muscles on them, but don't too much like Jin Kazama. it would be scary... .___.

anyway, good luck with your project! i'll be waiting for it :)
welcome senpaii <3 :D
1. oh lol, so that's what your first impression of him xD If I have to confess, he's the first male character I made and I'm so glad some people already welcomed him with open arms :)
2. it will be a little hard since all the males will be topless in this VN hahahah, the details and colors are usually at their bottom clothes but I'll work on the variance of tatoos in the future characters :D thanks for the notice!
3. Amen! with your support, I WILL continue with the VN's progress >_< stay tuned with the weekly update ^^
4. lol, I knew it xD hmm I'll try to 'refine' these guys more. Maybe some muscles and six pack for Mitra, but maybe not for the other characters (subtle maybe?). I try to make them 'lithe' rather than muscle. But hey, I'll find more references for them :D

and again, thank you senpai for your support! *bows*

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#6 Post by KittyKatStar » Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:13 am

1. Which character stands out the most for you? Why?
Aish + Yuda since they're a couple, and I'm interested in seeing their interactions together. <3

2. Does the intro and the art so far interesting?
Yep, I love the inspirations you've taken. =)

3. What makes you consider to play this game?
I like the setting/premise, it's something I haven't seen before.

4. Last but not least, do you have any question or critiques?
Nope, good luck with the game and I look forward to the demo. ^^v
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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#7 Post by SweetChiel » Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:35 am

KittyKatStar wrote:1. Which character stands out the most for you? Why?
Aish + Yuda since they're a couple, and I'm interested in seeing their interactions together. <3

2. Does the intro and the art so far interesting?
Yep, I love the inspirations you've taken. =)

3. What makes you consider to play this game?
I like the setting/premise, it's something I haven't seen before.

4. Last but not least, do you have any question or critiques?
Nope, good luck with the game and I look forward to the demo. ^^v
1. Oh you won't be disappointed :D that's all I can say for now. I don't want to spoil anything >.<
2 & 3. thank you! you flattered me *blush* nevertheless, I'm glad you like the overall settings. I try to make something different, but bear with me if there's some cliche in it xD
4. Amen to that!

Thank you for your support and feedback miss Kitty :D Stay tuned!

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#8 Post by Aruise » Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:44 am

OH MY GOD another Indonesian VN! Gonna love it! XD anyway here's my answer:

1) My favorite character probably the "???" one(lol), I'm so curious with the story behind him, beside I just love guys-who-have-sharp-eyes-and-serious-face-so-mysterious so yeah! XD. But I can't decided it now, since somehow I think I'll love the "in progress character" at Height Comparison *w*

2)Yep, I like how culture and fantasy mixed together and your art, soo breathtaking but maybe a little shading on the characters imo :D

3)So far I like the premise... also I'd like to know how they interact with each other.

4)No, everything sounds great to me--- oh yeah! is that "in progress character" at Height Comparison will be announced? *w* //shot

Good luck on finishing this you've got one stalker :D

*sorry for grammatical error*
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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#9 Post by CatyCats » Thu Jul 03, 2014 7:12 am

1. Which character stands out the most for you? Why?
Reksa! I love cold guys! (ofc,not irl but ingame yes)
2. Does the intro and the art so far interesting?
The art is fabulous! And the intro is nice too! (sorry if I'm so short ><)
3. What makes you consider to play this game?
Hellooooooo! The art is wonderful, the story....FANTASY? That's my most loving vn's ever. I love fantasy! I mean, there's so much with school life and like that...but I love alice in wonderland stories, fantasy and mysterious and mystique and.... (oh god, my english is getting bad O.o)
4. Last but not least, do you have any question or critiques? I welcome constructive criticism any time :) Maybe you can see something that I miss or lacking.
Hmm, I don't actually.

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#10 Post by SweetChiel » Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:49 am

Aruise wrote:OH MY GOD another Indonesian VN! Gonna love it! XD anyway here's my answer:

1) My favorite character probably the "???" one(lol), I'm so curious with the story behind him, beside I just love guys-who-have-sharp-eyes-and-serious-face-so-mysterious so yeah! XD. But I can't decided it now, since somehow I think I'll love the "in progress character" at Height Comparison *w*

2)Yep, I like how culture and fantasy mixed together and your art, soo breathtaking but maybe a little shading on the characters imo :D

3)So far I like the premise... also I'd like to know how they interact with each other.

4)No, everything sounds great to me--- oh yeah! is that "in progress character" at Height Comparison will be announced? *w* //shot

Good luck on finishing this you've got one stalker :D

*sorry for grammatical error*
1. oh lol, I'm so glad and relieved that you like him xD I was worried that he's a little too intimidating with that glare and scars of his. Hmm I'll consider about adding some information about him. In the demo, that character will only appear briefly. His role are majorly in the mid to ending. So I was skeptical about telling informations about him.

2. lol, you caught me xD that is one of my tricks to make character sprites quickly. Don't worry though, the shading will be better in the CGs :3

3. Well, you won't be disappointed X) pray so there will be no hindrance so I can finish the demo in December~

4. Oh, I will post his full character design soon :D announcing hmmm, maybe not everything. But I'll consider what information I will release about him xD
PS: Don't worry about your grammar. I also have some problems with it xD Yay! I have a stalker!

Thank you for your feedback miss Aruise :D oh, and maybe you can suggest me what information I should tell the viewers about '???' without spoiling anything.
CatyCat wrote:1. Which character stands out the most for you? Why?
Reksa! I love cold guys! (ofc,not irl but ingame yes)
2. Does the intro and the art so far interesting?
The art is fabulous! And the intro is nice too! (sorry if I'm so short ><)
3. What makes you consider to play this game?
Hellooooooo! The art is wonderful, the story....FANTASY? That's my most loving vn's ever. I love fantasy! I mean, there's so much with school life and like that...but I love alice in wonderland stories, fantasy and mysterious and mystique and.... (oh god, my english is getting bad O.o)
4. Last but not least, do you have any question or critiques? I welcome constructive criticism any time :) Maybe you can see something that I miss or lacking.
Hmm, I don't actually.
1. Oh my baby Reksa is loved by so many people. I'm so happy for him! :D

2. no, it's okay xD I'm glad someone is comfortable with me mixing anime style with unfamiliar-Indonesian culture!

3. lol, don't worry, you're not alone xD I'm also a sucker for legends, practically any legend.

Don't hesitate to ask me anything in the future or if there's something you don't understand :D Thank you for your feedback miss Caty and stay tuned!

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#11 Post by Aruise » Thu Jul 03, 2014 9:09 am

SweetChiel wrote:
Aruise wrote:OH MY GOD another Indonesian VN! Gonna love it! XD anyway here's my answer:

1) My favorite character probably the "???" one(lol), I'm so curious with the story behind him, beside I just love guys-who-have-sharp-eyes-and-serious-face-so-mysterious so yeah! XD. But I can't decided it now, since somehow I think I'll love the "in progress character" at Height Comparison *w*

2)Yep, I like how culture and fantasy mixed together and your art, soo breathtaking but maybe a little shading on the characters imo :D

3)So far I like the premise... also I'd like to know how they interact with each other.

4)No, everything sounds great to me--- oh yeah! is that "in progress character" at Height Comparison will be announced? *w* //shot

Good luck on finishing this you've got one stalker :D

*sorry for grammatical error*
1. oh lol, I'm so glad and relieved that you like him xD I was worried that he's a little too intimidating with that glare and scars of his. Hmm I'll consider about adding some information about him. In the demo, that character will only appear briefly. His role are majorly in the mid to ending. So I was skeptical about telling informations about him.

2. lol, you caught me xD that is one of my tricks to make character sprites quickly. Don't worry though, the shading will be better in the CGs :3

3. Well, you won't be disappointed X) pray so there will be no hindrance so I can finish the demo in December~

4. Oh, I will post his full character design soon :D announcing hmmm, maybe not everything. But I'll consider what information I will release about him xD
PS: Don't worry about your grammar. I also have some problems with it xD Yay! I have a stalker!

Thank you for your feedback miss Aruise :D oh, and maybe you can suggest me what information I should tell the viewers about '???' without spoiling anything.
Your welcome miss Chiel! Hmm... I think it's enough for now since it will makes people eager to know *becausemysterythingsarejusttoofhdkfh* :D YEY for character design! Will always check on it, good luck! *w*
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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#12 Post by Akitsuki » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:12 pm

Oh my God, this looks awesome!! Not to mention it's about Indonesia too!

1. MY EYES ARE ON REKSA. I see many people love him already, but cold guys are obviously interesting! They're funny to tease LOL
And Tamara too! Her quotes are just so funny xD

2. Of course! The art looks nice and the story sounds great! To be honest I keep trying to like history-themed VN but somehow I can't yet :( Hope this one will make me!

3. The art does, the premise too, and the characters! I've found some VN that includes the country's culture but when you put the animals as well, it makes me wonder how it will go! And of course I can't miss the secret character, can I?

4. No, I just wish you good luck so you can finish it!

I'm sorry I sound so hyped which I actually am LOL Good luck anyway!

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#13 Post by SweetChiel » Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:56 pm

Akitsuki wrote:Oh my God, this looks awesome!! Not to mention it's about Indonesia too!

1. MY EYES ARE ON REKSA. I see many people love him already, but cold guys are obviously interesting! They're funny to tease LOL
And Tamara too! Her quotes are just so funny xD

2. Of course! The art looks nice and the story sounds great! To be honest I keep trying to like history-themed VN but somehow I can't yet :( Hope this one will make me!

3. The art does, the premise too, and the characters! I've found some VN that includes the country's culture but when you put the animals as well, it makes me wonder how it will go! And of course I can't miss the secret character, can I?

4. No, I just wish you good luck so you can finish it!

I'm sorry I sound so hyped which I actually am LOL Good luck anyway!
1. Aww Reksa you're truly loved :') *I have dust in my eyes dammit* My friend's premonition came true lol.
2. Well, this is mostly about a fantasy story (This story is collecting dust in my head), but there will be Indonesian cultures as the character events in this VN *hint hint* they're mainly celebratory, so I hope you'll enjoy them :D
3. lol, can you guess which Indonesian animal I'll be using? (except Komodo, so obvious xD)
4. Amen! may the demo be out at December!

ooh, it's okay, really! the excited comments of the viewers always makes me feel giddy, happy, and it motivates me to make this faster :D
Thank you for your feedback miss/mister Akatsuki? (I can't guess your gender D:)
feel free if you have any question and see you in Monday! :D
Completed Project:
Image

WIP Project:
Image

Facebook fanpage:
https://www.facebook.com/NusantaraSeries/
Support me on my Patreon
Commission Status: Open!

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#14 Post by Fleet_commander » Fri Jul 04, 2014 5:48 am

Hi Sweet Chiel :).

I just saw you're link on my DA page and was excited to have a look. And sorry for the late reply you can thank work for that lol. I made an account here in order to keep the story confidential I have to say the question about what VS novel engine this site uses nearly threw me Haha.

I can see the amount of work that has gone into this already it is looking absolutely beautiful. :)

Anyway you asked for my opinion on your project and I’ll do my best ill answer the listed questions and add some extra commentary.

Keep in mind however

- I'm very ignorant on Indonesian culture.
- People like me are probably not you're demographic (male, non-tourist).
- And everyone here probably knows more about Visual Novels then I do.
__________________________________________________________________

You're Questions


1. Which character stands out the most for you? Why?:
In Terms of the Character Biographies Reksa stood out the most to me because the first thing that jumped out of my head when reading his bio was that he was a clear and present danger to anyone around him. The man who considers himself Judge, Jury and Executioner is always a man that you need to watch. Even if he believes he is acting for the good of the people his leadership style sounds like it's based off his personal judgment and the way it’s written sounds like he may be prone to making rash judgments I'm not sure if that’s what you intended but that’s what I got from him.

2. Does the intro and the art so far look interesting?: Yes it does. For the title I love the colours you picked they stand out and make the title pop and the old style map has an authentic charters look to it. In fact in all the art there is a very autumn feel to it browns, yellows, reds, a little green. I’d say keep going with those colour choices.

That being said however I’d say just a little bit more work might have to go into Tamara. Have a look at Asih and then have a look at Tamara.

To me Asih is more detailed and has a better blend of colours and detail than Tamera. Tamera Still looks good but I think she could be better even if her clothes are not as stylish or "out there" or fantasy like as the other characters.

Speaking about the other Characters for a second the Male characters arms are almost as thick as the Female characters Exept for Mitra. In my head I’m struggling to think if this is a problem or not because in Anime it’s normal for Male characters to have thin arms, most male anime protagonists usually have them but on the other hand proportion wise I know the male arms are supposed to be thicker.
This is debatable however.

All in all I love what you have here.
After repeated viewings the art grows on you the more you look at it which is great. The best character in terms of design in my opinion is Asih she is the perfect balance of Anime and realism and she looks almost like an Angel. The wings on the winged characters are amazing they are perfect in colour, shading, and drawing.

You have a lot of colour and tone in the artwork for the characters but I’d also suggest trying to experiment with light as well in the scenes of the graphic novel. You will find a lot of reference to Angels and the use of light I’m sure.

3. What makes you consider to play this game?: Both the setting and the Artwork. And the story, and learning about Indonesia.

4. Last but not least, do you have any question or critiques? I welcome constructive criticism any time :) Maybe you can see something that I miss or lacking:

Most of the criticism is on the answer to the second question. One thing to add in the bio I think Tamara hasn’t got a back story. We know her characteristics and her attitude but we don’t know where she came from or what she does. Maybe you haven’t revealed it on purpose to keep a surprise for potential player’s lol. With a backstory you can add some characteristics to the design of Tamara as well. I know I gave her alot of criticism but dont let that make you think I dont like her design I do I just think she needs that special touch with colour and detail you are talented with, She is a bit on the dark side when in my opinion should be bright and colourful. The good things about Tamara are her eyes, structure of the face and proportions, and her emotional expression (I like her smile).

I hope this has helped a bit I enjoyed both reading your story and viewing you're artwork please keep up the fantastic work!!. 8)
:mrgreen:

O I just remembered in your game progress bar I didnt see a UI progress (user interface) you might want to consider how that will be designed if you havent already the players will be looking at that for most of the game. :)

Haha ill get around to those replies on Deviant art. :lol:

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Re: Nusantara [GXB] [Fantasy] [Romance] [Adventure] [Comedy]

#15 Post by sasquatchii » Fri Jul 04, 2014 8:53 am

This looks super cool!

1. Mitra. He seems relatable and down to earth, and is very handsome :)
2. Yes, I adore the art & game graphics (especially the logo!) I would tweak the intro to maybe include a little bit more detail about the story & game play, and what specifically you do in the game.
3. I'm curious about the characters! Why do they have wings? Why is the heroine so different from the rest? It seems like it could be a lot of fun.
4. The one think I would pick on (and this is nitpicky) are a few grammar mistakes in your descriptions that I spotted. For example, Tamara's quote "My innocence? It flew out the window when half naked men walking and flying all over the place" is a little bit confusing- it should be something more like "when I saw half naked men"...

I spotted a few other awkwardly constructed sentences, but this is very easy to fix! Just proofread, and have someone else proofread it for you so you can catch these things :)

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