[VN][BxG] A+ Switch! [School Life][Romance][Drama] 5/20

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piichimi
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[VN][BxG] A+ Switch! [School Life][Romance][Drama] 5/20

#1 Post by piichimi » Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:00 pm

[EDIT: 4/29/2015] NOW RECRUITING: here
[EDIT: 4/15/2015] Sorry!! I've been away for a few months!! This project isn't dead! it's still ongoing! In fact, we almost have enough writing to make a demo! However, I'll be redoing the art, because my art skills have improved since then! ^-^
Image
Image

Kouhei, a first year high school student, suffering with the thoughts of his younger sister's demise is on the verge of failing his first year. When he is informed of this by his teacher, he seeks for help from his school counselor, who recommends he gets tutored by upperclassmen who are on the honor roll.


Protagonist:
Kouhei: Caring, Curious, Indecisive, Whimsical, Donkan, Effeminate
gender: M


Heroine:

Image
Inoue Hitomi
Hair: Straight, Red, Medium-Short
Eyes: Red
Body: Pale, Normal height, Teen, C cup
Clothes: Stockings, Miniskirt, School Uniform
Personality: Outgoing, Clumsy, Deredere, Hardworker, Energetic
Role: Tutor, Friend, High School Student, Upperclassmen
Subject: Language Arts

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Kuwase Akiko
Hair: Straight, Black, Short
Eyes: Deep Blue
Body: Pale, short, Teen, E+ cup
Clothes: Tights, Miniskirt, School Uniform
Personality: Delicate, caring, shy, Low self-esteem, Anti-social,
Role: Friend, High School Student, Tutor
Subject: Health

Image
Kurahashi Yurina
Hair: Straight, White fading to grayish-black, Medium length
Eyes: Purple
Body: AA Cup, Pale, Short, Teen, child-like
Clothes: knee-socks, Miniskirt, School Uniform
Personality: Stoic, Serious, docile, genius, Eccentric, Otaku
Role: Tutor, Friend, High School Student, Upperclassmen
Subject: Science


Image
Kanehara Mikako
Hair: Straight, Light Brown, Long
Eyes: Green
Body: A Cup, Pale, Tall, Teen
Clothes: Socks, Miniskirt, School Uniform
Personality: Stubborn, Tsundere, Confident, Competitive, Motherly
Role: Tutor, Friend, High School Student, Upperclassmen, karate club member
Subject: Math


Image
Imai Sayo
Hair: Wavy, Blonde, Very long
Eyes: Red
Body: B Cup, Pale, Normal-Height, Teen
Clothes: Socks, Miniskirt, School Uniform
Personality: Proper, Haraguro, Possessive, Bookworm, Mature, Refined
Role: Tutor, Friend, High School Student, Upperclassmen
Subject: History

Bonus Heroine:

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Kinoshita Maki
Hair: Straight, Black, long
Eyes: Green
Body: A Cup, Tan, Normal-Height, Teen
Clothes: Stockings, Miniskirt, School Uniform
Personality: Mysterious, perfectionist
Role: Friend, High School Student, classmate


Side Characters:

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Iori
Hair: Straight, Brown, Super short
Eyes: Brown
Body: Pale, short, AA cup, child
Clothes: dress, sneakers, ankle socks
Personality: caring
Role: protagonist's younger sister


Image
Lily
Hair: Straight, Light brown, very Short
Eyes: light brown
Body: A Cup, pale, Normal-Height, Teen
Clothes: Stockings, Miniskirt, School Uniform
Personality: loyal, deredere, emotional, sly,
Role: Protagonist's younger sister, Middle-school student

Image
Yui
Hair: Wavy, black, medium-length
Eyes: blue
Body: B Cup, pale, Normal-Height, Teen
Clothes: Ankle socks, Miniskirt, School Uniform
Personality: Sweet, calm, caring, emotional
Role: Childhood friend, High school student


Progress:

Arts:
BG: 5%
CG: 5%
Sprites: 20%
GUI: 5%
SFX/GFX: 6%

Writing:
Story: 12%
Prologue: 70%
Script&Paths:Therens~ 5%


Music: 10%
Programming: 0%
Coding: 0%
RPG Element (Extras): 0%

Team:
Piichimi
Kadris
Kanata
DenDen
Outbreak
Braincakeproductions
Authenticsky
Luc
Dia
Shine
Nae

Others:
Geiky (lyrics for OP)
Sagisapon (Vocalist for OP)

Yes, as you can see, this Visual novel project is in the very very early stages of development
If you would maybe like to help out, just ask!
I would definitely appreciate it! <3
Last edited by piichimi on Sun Sep 13, 2015 12:28 am, edited 80 times in total.

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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#2 Post by pocoscon » Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:12 pm

This seems like a cute game. I will say that the art is quite good to. However, make sure to avoid certain character personality stereotypes. I've seen many of these kind of girls in Visual Novels. None are bad, but a bit cliche. Try adding something that makes them different like maybe making Hitomi like sky diving or something like that. This was a thought from a friend. Don't use it if it doesn't fit of course XD, but just make them a bit different. I still think this can be a really cool story though, so good luck :mrgreen:
Black Lotus(A work in progress)- (BxB,Horror,Thriller,Fantasy) Tells the story of a boy who must save his home and friends from dangerous creatures known as the Tainted. http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=28588


Catching the Sun(A work in progress)- (GxG,Slice of Life,Friendship,Drama)

http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=29404

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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#3 Post by piichimi » Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:22 pm

pocoscon wrote:This seems like a cute game. I will say that the art is quite good to. However, make sure to avoid certain character personality stereotypes. I've seen many of these kind of girls in Visual Novels. None are bad, but a bit cliche. Try adding something that makes them different like maybe making Hitomi like sky diving or something like that. This was a thought from a friend. Don't use it if it doesn't fit of course XD, but just make them a bit different. I still think this can be a really cool story though, so good luck :mrgreen:
Thank you very much!!! ^-^
I agree!!
I'll definitely try building their personalities more.

Thanks again for the advice <333

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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#4 Post by pocoscon » Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:37 pm

piichimi wrote:
pocoscon wrote:This seems like a cute game. I will say that the art is quite good to. However, make sure to avoid certain character personality stereotypes. I've seen many of these kind of girls in Visual Novels. None are bad, but a bit cliche. Try adding something that makes them different like maybe making Hitomi like sky diving or something like that. This was a thought from a friend. Don't use it if it doesn't fit of course XD, but just make them a bit different. I still think this can be a really cool story though, so good luck :mrgreen:
Thank you very much!!! ^-^
I agree!!
I'll definitely try building their personalities more.

Thanks again for the advice <333

Np, and so sorry for the double post 0_0. I don't know why that happened....
But yeah, they're not boring or anything like that. I just think you can expand on them just a tad more. I hope I didn't sound rude :oops:
Black Lotus(A work in progress)- (BxB,Horror,Thriller,Fantasy) Tells the story of a boy who must save his home and friends from dangerous creatures known as the Tainted. http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=28588


Catching the Sun(A work in progress)- (GxG,Slice of Life,Friendship,Drama)

http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... 43&t=29404

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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#5 Post by piichimi » Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:41 pm

pocoscon wrote:
piichimi wrote:
pocoscon wrote:This seems like a cute game. I will say that the art is quite good to. However, make sure to avoid certain character personality stereotypes. I've seen many of these kind of girls in Visual Novels. None are bad, but a bit cliche. Try adding something that makes them different like maybe making Hitomi like sky diving or something like that. This was a thought from a friend. Don't use it if it doesn't fit of course XD, but just make them a bit different. I still think this can be a really cool story though, so good luck :mrgreen:
Thank you very much!!! ^-^
I agree!!
I'll definitely try building their personalities more.

Thanks again for the advice <333

Np, and so sorry for the double post 0_0. I don't know why that happened....
But yeah, they're not boring or anything like that. I just think you can expand on them just a tad more. I hope I didn't sound rude :oops:
It's alright!!! ^-^
& no, you didn't sound rude at all!
I appreciate your help and advice! ^-^

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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#6 Post by gekiganwing » Sun Sep 28, 2014 9:45 pm

piichimi wrote:His counselor notices how awful his grades are, and suggests he gets tutored by upperclassmen with the best grades in the school.
The premise is kind of similar to the Happy Lesson franchise from about a decade ago. That said, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Originality isn't everything. TVTropes has an article that's worth reading about this topic.

Some things to consider...

1. What do you want to accomplish with A+ Switch? Do you plan to write boy x girl love stories that are just slice of life with not much plot or conflict? Do you have any other intentions with this project?

2. Is your story personally interesting? Do you care quite a bit about the characters and their world? ...I bring this up because I have seen a lot of promising works-in-progress stop updating, and never get past the planning stages. I believe that one essential ingredient for success is being passionate about your story, and wanting to tell it badly.

3. Do you have any planned deadlines? If not, consider giving yourself a series of deadlines. (Such as "complete first draft of route #1 by November 1".) This might help you avoid getting distracted by other entertainment, persevere when things get dull or frustrating, and overall help you stay on track.

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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#7 Post by piichimi » Mon Sep 29, 2014 6:14 am

gekiganwing wrote:
piichimi wrote:His counselor notices how awful his grades are, and suggests he gets tutored by upperclassmen with the best grades in the school.
The premise is kind of similar to the Happy Lesson franchise from about a decade ago. That said, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Originality isn't everything. TVTropes has an article that's worth reading about this topic.

Some things to consider...

1. What do you want to accomplish with A+ Switch? Do you plan to write boy x girl love stories that are just slice of life with not much plot or conflict? Do you have any other intentions with this project?

2. Is your story personally interesting? Do you care quite a bit about the characters and their world? ...I bring this up because I have seen a lot of promising works-in-progress stop updating, and never get past the planning stages. I believe that one essential ingredient for success is being passionate about your story, and wanting to tell it badly.

3. Do you have any planned deadlines? If not, consider giving yourself a series of deadlines. (Such as "complete first draft of route #1 by November 1".) This might help you avoid getting distracted by other entertainment, persevere when things get dull or frustrating, and overall help you stay on track.
I definitely would like to develop the story more, and give it a really good plot. As you can see, it's in the early stages of development, so I'm very open to changes. I feel like adding backstories for the characters will help some with that, but other than that, I'll have to think some more about it.

As for deadlines, atm, since I'm not that far into development. I haven't had to set any deadlines. but I definitely should start doing that.

Thank you very much for the advice and giving me things to think about! ^-^
Helps a bunch!

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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#8 Post by thebackup » Sat Oct 11, 2014 1:05 am

This looks pretty cute and interesting! Not only the artwork, but the story and system as well. :)

One question:
Are the questions presented as a pop quiz sort of thing? As in you would know the answers if you were paying attention to the dialogue? It would be pretty interesting to catch readers off guard. Like there's a scene where the protagonist thinks of something perverted during tutoring, and all of a sudden, pop quiz :D

Looking forward to this, and can't wait to see more artworks. Good luck!
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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#9 Post by piichimi » Sun Oct 12, 2014 5:57 am

thebackup wrote:This looks pretty cute and interesting! Not only the artwork, but the story and system as well. :)

One question:
Are the questions presented as a pop quiz sort of thing? As in you would know the answers if you were paying attention to the dialogue? It would be pretty interesting to catch readers off guard. Like there's a scene where the protagonist thinks of something perverted during tutoring, and all of a sudden, pop quiz :D

Looking forward to this, and can't wait to see more artworks. Good luck!
Thank you so much <333

& Yep. you're spot on! that's exactly how I was planning to set it up. ^-^
I really appreciate the positive feedback <333

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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#10 Post by piichimi » Sun Oct 12, 2014 6:30 am

I updated the original post, and decided to develop the girls a little bit more. ^-^
Take a look if you would like!

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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#11 Post by melelisun » Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:04 am

First of all, love the art style. Very professional (and also really cute *_*)

That being said, I think I do mimic the concerns of the others, since it's honestly very difficult to create an original school VN :/ It's possible that you might get more than a few players who question the originality of your game.

Good luck, though! Looks like it could be cute and fun :)
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Re: A+ Switch! [VN][School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#12 Post by piichimi » Sun Oct 12, 2014 5:26 pm

melelisun wrote:First of all, love the art style. Very professional (and also really cute *_*)

That being said, I think I do mimic the concerns of the others, since it's honestly very difficult to create an original school VN :/ It's possible that you might get more than a few players who question the originality of your game.

Good luck, though! Looks like it could be cute and fun :)

Thank you very much! I appreciate it. ^-^
& yeah, it seems like most people who have commented have been concerned with that. & it's very understandable considering most school life VNs aren't very original. However, I am planning to make some touches to it to make it more original. & Also, I feel like my characters, once I develop them more, will make the visual novel different, hopefully. xD

I'm hoping to bring a lot to the table with this!!! ^-^

Thank you again <333

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Re: [VN][BxG] A+ Switch! [School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#13 Post by Zhyx » Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:32 pm

nice art.. cant wait for this..

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Re: [VN][BxG] A+ Switch! [School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#14 Post by piichimi » Wed Oct 15, 2014 7:31 am

Zhyx wrote:nice art.. cant wait for this..
Thank you very much!

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Re: [VN][BxG] A+ Switch! [School Life][Romance][Comedy]

#15 Post by Diamonit » Wed Oct 15, 2014 5:35 pm

Are you doing all the writing + the art by yourself?
This might take you a lot of time, especially considering that your art is looking really nice, I believe you probably have to put quite a lot of time to draw. Even if you somehow might have a lot of free time, I would advice you to limit the number of heroine in a first time, so that you won't get demotivated too easily by the amount of work! You should probably limit yourself with two heroines with drawn sprites, and write their routes, and after you eventually reach this point, start to draw the other heroine sprites and their routes (if the structure of your VN allows you to proceed like that of course). And I would recommend you to at least find someone to draw backgrounds for you, even though I know it's not easy to find BG artist...^^

Also, as other people before me said, the "school-life comedy drama Charage" genre is a very common genre of VN (especially in Japan). It doesn't mean it's impossible to stand out though, but you need to take care of a few things :

- Using tropes for starters is okay, but keeping and overusing tropes all along is not. You want to create a tsundere heroine? No problem, I'd say go for it, people like those type of heroines. But try to make your tsundere character stands out, by giving her some interesting quirks and characteristics. You can have stuff more or less serious, for example a girl that is more tsun against other girls in general, and more dere with boys (that would be quite interesting to write^^), having the childhood friend being blatantly flirtatious with your MC and/or abusive toward him, have the motherly girl being able to own delinquents on hand to hand fights... And the list is long!^^

- Don't neglect the personality and the backgrounds of your characters! Because they follow some tropes is not enough reason to say : "This character is secretly in love with the MC because she is his childhood friend". Try to create a real backstory for each character, even if you are not sure you will need all the details. and try to make sure the current personality of each character fits and is a result of the backstory you gave them (this is even more important if you are planning to involve some drama at some point). Try to always have multi-dimensional characters (meaning that every characters has multiple sides to them that are more or less hidden).

- The main character is probably the point where you have the highest chance to stand out if done correctly. A well thought protagonist with a deep and interesting personality is a must in this kind of settings, especially since most MC in this genre of VN are very bland. Try to give him a personality that will influence his relations with girls : Misogynous, Flirtatious, Sarcastic and Bitter, Egoistic, Delusional, Tsundere... Give him some interesting thought-patterns : lyricism / scientific-mind / Very optimistic / Very pessimistic / Inferiority or Superiority complex / irresponsible... Give your character a real ability to think and have an opinion on everything that might exist in his universe. The more his thoughts / opinions are unique, the more your game will be interesting to play.

- Character growth is a must, and not only for your heroines, it is good to have some for your protagonist as well (but not mandatory). Character means exactly what it means, your characters have to "grow", and must have learned something by the end of their journeys. The easiest way is to have them become aware of their own flaws (that you will have included in their personalities when creating the characters) as human being, and to have them get rid of it during the story. There are other ways to induce character growth, but I don't have time to expand on it unfortunately.

- Comedy is sometimes tricky to handle. I'd advice you to try to not follow too much japanese comedic patterns as eastern and western comedy are really different, and since you are creating a VN in a western community. Good comedy comes from elaborated character's personality imo.

All those advice might seem pretty obvious for you and redundant, and if they were I apologize, but hopefully at least some of the stuff I wrote will be of any help for you!

Anyway, I wish yoou the best of luck on your VN! There are not that much school-life BxG oriented VN on lemma, and it's really nice to see some people that still want to create some! :)
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