1. What do you think about the game so far? What do you like? What do you dislike?
I like the concept. "A demon who grants wishes" made me think of Tenshi_na_Konamaiki
As far as Rite goes, I'll break my feedback into categories, as defined below. Keep in mind that the following is my honest feedback, and my personal opinion. It is intended to help you improve; I mean no offense by it.
There were quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes throughout the demo. It would be beneficial to have someone proofread the script. It might help you to find an editor as well - they could help improve the flow and delivery of your story.
Personally, I found the third-person perspective to be a bit disorienting. Perhaps this is just my taste, or the perception I have of VNs, but I generally feel more comfortable reading VNs from the first-person.
How old are the characters supposed to be? You used the term "kid" a lot, and in ways that made it sound like "young children" (e.g. when a character refers to her/himself as a "kid" it makes me feel like they are younger than if they were addressed by someone else (especially someone much older) as a "kid"). I got the impression that they were in the range of 12-15 years old. There isn't anything wrong with that, but their personalities and behaviours simply didn't match that age range. They all seemed very mature, and all of their actions seemed to be logical and well thought out. Their actions didn't make them feel like children.
On that note, you might consider fleshing out the characters a bit more - give them weaknesses and faults. Define their motivations (and give us readers a glimpse of them). It didn't feel right that the two foreigners took a complete stranger back to their room, and put themselves in danger for a cause they had no part of. I also didn't quite understand why they took Dan to their room instead of calling an ambulance, or going to a hospital (when they found him, the dialogue made it sound like it was natural
to go to an inn instead of a hospital). There may have been perfectly valid reasons for all of these events, but I didn't see them expressed to the reader.
I don't know enough to comment on the plot just yet. There are a lot of directions that it could take, and largely depends on how you execute it. Generally, however, I like the direction it is taking (even though it wasn't what I expected at first ^^)
See question (4)
I like it! Keep going!
2. Who is your favourite characters so far ( although there are only 3 characters showed in the game)? Why?
I like silver, but I think all three characters could use some more development.
3. If this game were made into a full game, what is your expectation?
1) Proofread & edited script
2) Mechanic concerns are addressed. See (4)
4. Do you like the idea of QTE and exploring mechanic? If not, tell me the reason.
I felt like I was being railroaded into making decisions quite often. The choices usually lead to the same place, and I didn't feel like I had much freedom with either the map or the quick time events. For instance, I played through with several different combinations of choices, but they all produced (more or less) the same script. See spoiler:
When presented with the options to "dodge the question," "lie," or "tell the truth" the only difference between all three choices was Dan's line directly following the choice. In the end, they all lead to Dan telling the truth and Silver catching the lie (if one was present).
The QTE when yuyuko was distracting the guards: failing the event didn't change the story line. Additionally, the QTEs that followed (e.g. the bottle throwing) all gave the same results for pass or fail as well.
The map forced me to make specific choices. I couldn't "not go to the park" for instance.
I want my choices to mean something, not just be arbitrarily available. I am a fan of the systems you put in place here, but I would consider cleaning up the choices, QTEs, and map displays if I were you. Try to make the majority of events have an effect on the story. Whether it is failing a QTE, deciding what to do for the day (via the map) or making a decision, the user should see that: a) they actually have a choice
and b) their choice makes a difference.
5. How is the story so far? Does it bore you?
The story doesn't bore me, but the delivery could be improved (find an editor, proofreader, etc. - see above)
Hopefully that can be of some use ^^. Good luck progressing further.