Silver [Army][Drama][Kinetic Novel] // Big update !

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raistlintg
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Silver [Army][Drama][Kinetic Novel] // Big update !

#1 Post by raistlintg » Sat Nov 29, 2014 8:13 am

Hi !
This used to be the old WIP, the new one is on a new post in this topic.
Last edited by raistlintg on Fri Jul 10, 2015 11:00 am, edited 6 times in total.

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Suika
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Re: Silver [Army][Drama][Slice of Life]

#2 Post by Suika » Sat Nov 29, 2014 2:40 pm

1) Who is your favorite character ?
I'm not sure I can claim a favourite, on account of the character descriptions being a bit vague. I'd like to know more - especially about the something that Silver is protecting.

2) The uniforms are plain. Does it bother you ? Should I add more details ?
I think plain is okay, but I do have a few observations and questions.
  1. I noticed that Tail's uniform was the only one with breast pockets. Is there a reason to this?
  2. The Sergeant's uniform looks the same as the others. What is the cultural dynamic of this country's military? How important is rank? Is it simply a job role, or does it mean something (e.g., authority)? Similarly, does the country distinguish between ranks by visual means (e.g., by uniform, badges, etc)?
  3. The above point applies to the Lieutenant as well.
  4. This is incredibly minor, but I'll mention just-in-case it may be useful: the collars of some uniforms differ slightly. The top and bottom flaps of Plum's uniform seem to be connected, but they seem to be separated on Snow's uniform. Once again, this is incredibly minor and can be ignored; it's just something I noticed.
  5. The simplicity of the uniforms has made me curious - are these training uniforms, or field uniforms? Does the country differentiate between the two? Where do the soldiers store stuff?
3 ) What details in the drawings need an improvement the most ? (specific details if possible, not "everything" or "the backgrounds").
  • The Sergeant's chest-line looks a little low to me.
  • Snow's sprite throws me off quite a bit. Her eyes are very bold, and I personally think her face is very round. Also the collar x)
  • I really like snow's eyes.

I'm interested in more about the world, and the character's situations, such as how they ended up where they are (I presume the universal conscription had something to do with it c:)
Good luck!

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Re: Silver [Army][Drama][Slice of Life]

#3 Post by raistlintg » Sat Nov 29, 2014 5:22 pm

Thank you so much for answering !

The uniforms :

They are training uniforms used as field uniforms because of the rapidly increasing number of soldiers.
There are also lots of quickly and poorly made new uniforms, for the same reason.

Your questions about breast pocket, collar and distinction between rank all have the same answer : I still have work and choices to make about the look of the uniforms, that's why your advice is precious.
As you can see on the logo, I also have a multicolor option.
But of course, rank has a meaning, and of course there will be badges (I draw one but it wasn't good).

The sprites :
Thanks for noticing Iron's chest-line, how could I not see this ??
Snow's sprite is indeed bad (I mean, more than the others, for those here who really can draw they're all bad :wink: ).
The roundness is caused by a shitty perspective, I think, and the neck doesn't connect right, for instance...

About character backgrounds and universe ... I plan to make a demo by january 2015, it will be more explicit.

Once again, thank you for you help and your time !!

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Re: Silver [Army][Drama][Slice of Life]

#4 Post by astrokeofmadness » Sat Nov 29, 2014 6:39 pm

Suggestion- keep 1 eye style and stick with it throughout. You have circular iris and oval iris , but it will look more consistent if you choose 1. In your case oval might look better because your eye shapes are really big, and circular requires the eyes to be a bit less round to look correct. Although I prefer circular personally.

And as previously mentioned Snows black eye line is too thick in comparison to the other characters, it just looks odd to have the difference. Also a quick and dirty way to fix snows face would be to select the face outline, and rotate it like 20-30 degrees. select from the left ear to the other side of the head, then rotate it a tad. It will shift the center line to the left allowing you to move the eyes a bit to the left, likely will look better.

Here is an example, assuming your line work is on its own layer, this would work a lot better on your end then mine >.>
lemma1.png

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Re: Silver [Army][Drama][Slice of Life]

#5 Post by raistlintg » Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:57 pm

Thank you Astrokeofmadness.

Actually, I worked on Snow and she looks like that now (I put a blue background because of her white hair)
I let her head slightly turned, but changed face frame (she's not a blowfish anymore), eyes, mouth, collar.

Also, I tried a chest pocket (the one I tried to draw on tail is awful).
Uniforms will have two of these and a belt (+ other things for officers).
I will remove every specular, it just doesn't look good.
There will be a layer for a backpack.

Your remark about the iris is very good and I'll work on it.
I think I'll choose the ovale solution, Da Capo style...

Thank you again !
Last edited by raistlintg on Fri Jul 10, 2015 6:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Silver [Army][Drama][Slice of Life]

#6 Post by astrokeofmadness » Sat Nov 29, 2014 10:26 pm

Oh and one last super minor detail i noticed that I forgot to mention-
The white eye glare on Snow is the only one that lacks hardness. you included it in the titlescreen pic, but not in her sprite. (IE- its too blurry in compared to the other characters)
Sorry if its nitpicky XD But I find the title pics sharp glare to look distinctly better. Flipping from Snow to Tail makes it more noticeable.

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Re: Silver [Army][Drama][Slice of Life]

#7 Post by raistlintg » Sat Nov 29, 2014 10:37 pm

You're right, it goes on the to-do list !

By the way, I just realized something about the iris form.
The fact is, ALL characters have oval iris, but some of them in this post have an expression where their iris is round an reduced (because they're angry, shocked, etc).
But the basic iris is oval for everyone.
Tail's iris look round because the bottom part is hidden behind the eye line (maybe a little too much).

In my avatar, they're round because she's ... truly happy.
OK, I realize I use round iris a little too much.

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Re: Silver [Army][Drama][Slice of Life]

#8 Post by darkrchaos » Fri Jan 30, 2015 4:41 am

It looks very interesting. :D

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Re: Silver [Army][Drama][Slice of Life]

#9 Post by sugarberry » Sat Jan 31, 2015 6:03 pm

This idea is really original and I love the concept so far.

Don't be too harsh on your art, though! I think it looks precious so far! Your shading and foldwork on clothes is especially wonderful.

Snow sounds like a cutiepie <3 I'll be watching n A n!!!
The one-girl game studio!

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Re: Silver [Army][Drama][Slice of Life]

#10 Post by raistlintg » Fri Jul 10, 2015 6:16 am

Image

Hi !

Thank you so much Darkrchaos and Sugarberry !
Sorry I didn't answer sooner, but I had decided to "disappear" and concentrate on setting the bar a little higher.
I would NEVER have thought someone else would comment 2 months after my last post, and I only discovered it today.
So once again, thank you for your interest !

My question is simple :
-> What do I need to improve the most ?

edit : I won't be able to post for 3 weeks.

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