Naomi [#JamForLeelah2015][Kinetic][Trans Protag]V1.1 Online!

[Bto3]

NAOMI is a story about a young woman coming to grips with herself in a world hostile to her existence.

Download NAOMI 1.1 Here!
Completed Game Thread





Writing: 100%
Character Designs: 100%
Sprites: 100%
GUI: 100%
Programming: 100%

What am I hoping to get out of this thread?
I'm hoping for feedback on whether people feel Naomi is portrayed appropriately or not. I'm not trans so I do not have any first hand experience with BEING trans. At the time of posting this, I have roughly seven days to complete this game for #JamForLeelah (I started about a week ago), but I would really appreciate any feedback that can be given about the interface, and when I have a build done, any feedback that can be given on THAT (storywise, etc). I've been a writer for a long time, and I've had a long term VN project I've been working on, but this will be the first VN that will be successfully put together and posted for download. I'm excited, but I know I have a lot to learn still so I'm a bit nervous!

So: Based on the minimal screencaps I've presented, is the text readable? Is anything too bright/too dark?

I hope to have a download up within a couple of days.

Credits
Story Editing courtesy of Kylock!
CG Gallery Code from Leon
Backgrounds from Auro-Cyanide
Base GUI from Luce Jumble/Aurehan
Art by Tomo+

Screenshots

Code: Select all

Ren'Py 6.18.3.761 lint report, generated at: Thu Feb 12 20:33:22 2015


Statistics:

The game contains 184 dialogue blocks, containing 2,883 words and 15,447
characters, for an average of 15.7 words and 84 characters per block.

The game contains 0 menus, 11 images, and 15 screens.

Is that a long enough thread title for you? I think I covered everything, haha!

[tomoplus]

This is the first time I'd actually be making completed sprites, too, so it's really exciting to be able to make this visual novel! I'm looking forward to seeing the whole thing put together, and with it being only a week to get it done from start to finish, it's like a rush (in a good way)!

-Tomo

[Applegate]

Two of my friends recently told me they're trans, so the subject's become rather interesting to me lately. Hope you finish in time~

It looks good so far, but the buttons in the bottom-right are hard to read due to the colour.

[Bto3]

This is the first time I'd actually be making completed sprites, too, so it's really exciting to be able to make this visual novel! I'm looking forward to seeing the whole thing put together, and with it being only a week to get it done from start to finish, it's like a rush (in a good way)!

-Tomo

Indeed! It's been a lot of fun flying through this!

Two of my friends recently told me they're trans, so the subject's become rather interesting to me lately. Hope you finish in time~

It looks good so far, but the buttons in the bottom-right are hard to read due to the colour.

I know that feeling! Gotta read EVERYTHING you can find! In my case, it was in an effort to better understand something I hadn't even heard about before. I think I will, unless my computer catches fire! But even then, I've got everyone on cloud storage.

The in game menu options? I'll try to make those more readable! They're white with 1px black outline, but considering how small the text is, that 1px is huge.

[Applegate]

I mean the Q. Save, Q. Load etc in the upper-right screenshot, to be exact. I can read the huge white options perfectly.

[Bto3]

I mean the Q. Save, Q. Load etc in the upper-right screenshot, to be exact. I can read the huge white options perfectly.

D'oh! I forgot what to call that when I was posting, apparently.

Anyhow, is this easier to read?

[Hazel-Bun]

Yes it is! Good luck

[Bto3]

I've got all the script in RenPy now, just working on formatting it! Added lint stats to the OP, but here they are too:

Code: Select all

Ren'Py 6.18.3.761 lint report, generated at: Thu Feb 12 20:33:22 2015


Statistics:

The game contains 184 dialogue blocks, containing 2,883 words and 15,447
characters, for an average of 15.7 words and 84 characters per block.

The game contains 0 menus, 11 images, and 15 screens.

[tomoplus]

Haiden:


Naomi:


The sprites are finished! Now it's onto the final stretch, putting it all together and making it work!

-Tomo

[noeinan]

Glad to see someone doing #JamForLeelah here. I'm trans and was considering doing it, but I couldn't find a writer in time. Good luck with the project!

[Bto3]

Glad to see someone doing #JamForLeelah here. I'm trans and was considering doing it, but I couldn't find a writer in time. Good luck with the project!

Darn D: I think I got lucky in scraping together the assets and people to work with halfway through the timeframe. Maybe next year? I know I'd love to see a #JamForLeelah2016!

[noeinan]

I agree, I hope they do Ruin Jam next year, too! http://itch.io/jam/ruinjam2014

I'm thinking of doing something gender related for NaNoRenO though.

[Railgun]

We don't see a lot of games about trans issues, so thank you for the taking the time to make one
I admit, out of LGBT, "T" is the one I'm least familiar with so I hope to learn something out of this game.

[Bto3]

I agree, I hope they do Ruin Jam next year, too! http://itch.io/jam/ruinjam2014

I'm thinking of doing something gender related for NaNoRenO though.

I hadn't heard of Ruin Jam but oh man oh man oh man, it looks absolutely delightful.

You totally should I'm considering doing another story with these characters for NaNoRenO since apparently I work pretty well when a fire's lit under my butt!

We don't see a lot of games about trans issues, so thank you for the taking the time to make one
I admit, out of LGBT, "T" is the one I'm least familiar with so I hope to learn something out of this game.

I've noticed that, but I think things are changing too. When I first started coming on Lemma, there seemed to be mostly games with male protags, a few otomes, a few that didn't fit either category. Now, I've seen two or three games with nonbinary protags

I'm not sure how educational NAOMI will be since I took this more from an emotional standpoint than an educational one, but emotion based stories have their own benefits too, don't they?

[noeinan]

I'm not sure how educational NAOMI will be since I took this more from an emotional standpoint than an educational one, but emotion based stories have their own benefits too, don't they?

Aaand suddenly I have the urge to make a "So You Want To Be An Ally" game...