This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Complete!!!]

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tantivy
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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#16 Post by tantivy » Tue Mar 17, 2015 4:21 am

I finished the demo and I loved it!! Each scene was entertaining and worth including, and many of them made me smile
(when it was revealed that Asa is afraid of acorns I laughed out loud).
The dialogue is witty and the characters react so naturally. This, plus the little details you put in make the game feel real (like when you mentioned that Rhea could hear Asa’s foot tapping in his excitement). Even though the story is lighthearted, I love that you explore so many thought-provoking concepts, like
the way that Clair (and Valerian) are ostracized, the emotional abuse Selene endures, the realities of war, and what it means to be a good person.
And all this just fits so naturally into the story. I haven’t really seen this before in an otome game.

1) Do you think the pacing is too slow? The common route has a lot of slice of life, so I hope it doesn't drag too much.
Like pyongtaro, I like slice of life and I thought the pacing was good. The scenes did seem a little disjointed at first, but I got used to it quickly. I’m a little worried that trying to fix the disjointedness will slow down the pacing too much. For example, if there were an extra screen that showed up each time the day changed, it might get tedious, but then again maybe not? The way it is now, I hardly paid attention to what the date was—the story just seemed like a continuous stream of awesomeness—which I thought was enjoyable, but I don’t know if it’s what you’re going for. It definitely flowed along, despite the impressive length.

2) Do the personalities of the characters seem distinct/unique enough?
Yes, definitely. Your characters have great personalities. Personally I really like the MC the way she is too. By the way, I’ve gotta mention that Clair is one of my favorite characters.

3) Which guy is your favourite? :'D
I was actually really torn whether I’d want to pursue Valerian, Asa, or Luca, but in the end, it’s got to be Valerian! So if there really are more of his scenes in the common route, I’m not complaining~ Like you mentioned, Luca hasn’t really had a chance to shine yet, but I’d of course be interested in playing his route and seeing how his character develops.

So, anyway, keep up the good work! I’m thrilled that it’s going to be a long game, and I’d buy it if you made it commercial.

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#17 Post by pyongtaro » Tue Mar 17, 2015 7:14 am

Hello, sorry for the delayed reply! I've been loaded with exams I couldn't find the time to sit down and type up a reply...
ebi-hime wrote: I like SOL stuff a lot, too - but sometimes I think it can be little too much. Like Grisaia no Kajitsu's common route, which seemed to drag on forever, and absolutely nothing important happened in it (that I can remember).
That would probably be a good idea. Sometimes I thought the scenes were rather disconnected, they didn't flow together well. The first day, which has the most stuff happen, is probably the most guilty of this, heh...
There is a special transition that changes for the day, it's the uh... I labelled the transition as 'clockwipe'. The wipe which moves around in a circle like the hands of a clock. First it wipes away the old date & changes the screen to black, then brings in the new scene & date. Knowing me though, I might have used it in some places I shouldn't have done by mistake...
See, this is why you don't want my opinion! I actually somewhat enjoyed Grisaia's common route. Somewhat, because well yes, it's monstrous, but the character interactions were Grisaia's strongest point, and once I stopped thinking of the common route as a hurdle to overcome to get into the individual routes, enjoying it at my own pace, I actually came to appreciate it. Well there's my opinion that Grisaia's individual routes weren't that great too... (not that I actually finish all of them) Then again this is coming from someone who eventually came to enjoy Rewrite's common route aka Romeo-should-be-banned-from-writing-SOL. I think I'm just easily swayed, really (laughs).
About the transition thing - ah, yeah, I think there WAS clockwipe, haha, silly me. I just tend to click one time too much that I skip pass any transition ever in renpy games... should be more careful.
ebi-hime wrote: I am really, really bad at writing first person heroes/heroines TT__TT I always find it so hard to make them interesting... And a lot of the time they end up just listening in on conversations, rather than taking part in them themselves. This problem is also there with poor Atcchan from The Way We All Go.
I need to work on writing interesting main characters, who are 'characters' just as much as everybody else. I mean, the MC should be the most important character, since their personality is going to shape the entire writing style... This is probably why it's easier to have mild-mannered and resonably bland MCs, though. It means their narration is less likely to seem biased, and they'll have a more 'reasonable' tone which lends itself better to lots of information dumping, haha... But it's probably not the most interesting thing to read.
Meirin is one of my favs. All that aloofness XD
I probably phrased that badly! Like tantivy above, I do think Rhea's fine as she is. I think her character is more pronounced than Atcchan; the fact that she has a portrait might've helped. I can imagine the sort of life the girl's been living up till now from her thoughts, and her rare instance of boldness is adorable (like telling Clair "not to let that old man get her down"). It's true that her lack of response can make her presence forgettable in certain scenes... but I think that's just the result of being surrounded with people whose personalities are a lot stronger (laughs).
On the topic of MCs, if we're talking from the readers' standpoint, having reasonably bland MCs might be preferable because narration headed by protagonists they don't like can put them off... I mean, at least I know the reason I dropped Never7 was because I could barely stand the MC, though that rarely happened to me. Or perhaps the readers have the need to be able to relate to the protagonist to some extent to enjoy a narrative. And in galge/otomege, usually the obtainables are put in more priority, hence the protagonists are made to not overshadow them. But this kind of thing can also act as a double-edged sword... I think there's benefit in both bland MCs and MCs with pronounced personality from a narrative standpoint...
I think I've stranded from both the topic and what I wanted to say.I don't actually think Rhea is "uninteresting", that was a mistake on my use of words... I tend to be conditioned to like female protagonists, and her narration actually entails her viewpoint and life in detail. Rhea's passive personality is still a type of personality that exists... It just comes into developing her character and not relegating her into a passive role, if you don't want her to be forgettable.
I have a feeling that you might've favored Meirin, haha. It's not a bad thing though, as she's a fun woman.
ebi-hime wrote: Aaah, s-so cute! ;__; I-It's adorable!
I squealed when I saw this, you have no idea! Just looking at it makes me smile hahaha XD
Do you have it on tumblr? I would love to reblog it! o:

Val is my fav character haha. I was worried my favouritism was too apparent in the common route, since I think he might get more scenes than the other guys... Heheh...
Poor Luca doesn't get to do much in the common route other than being distant and grumpy XD And Garrett is kind of annoying. I think that might be one his defining characteristics...
It gets pointed out a fair bit by various characters in his route.
I'm glad you like it!
No, I just borrowed tumblr to host it by making it a private post... haha, I haven't uploaded anything into my art blog in like forever, I don't have the courage to put anything until I've drawn enough to justify my absence.
It's for you though, so you're free to do with it as you please.

Well I'm afraid I like Valerian too, so I can't judge unbiasedly whether he's actually taking the others' spotlight!
Luca's war-weary, which doesn't make him the best conversation partner. The Mr. Grumpy attitude doesn't really thaw my heart... but that's just my taste in characters, and he's actually pretty considerate. I'm curious how his route (and the others, really) will develop, since there seems to be preexisting fondness from Rhea's side - and from him too? That your first post said character routes will be long with a lot of twists actually make me really look forward to them.
I think Garrett's okay, actually. He might be a brat... but he IS a brat. I don't dislike energetic kids, I wouldn't want to blame him too much for being an enthusiastic young lad (laughs).
ebi-hime wrote:I always pause after every sentence. I'm not even sure where I picked this up from, since the majority of VNs don't do this... I think maybe Umineko, which also likes to pause a lot between lines - but that's because it's in NVL mode, not ADV, and having a whole paragraph pop up on your screen all at once would be overwhelming.
If having to click after every sentence is really a bother, I could just remove it. Adding in all these pauses actually takes a really long time to code in, it's super tedious...
It also messes up the F. Skip function.
If people don't like it, I guess there isn't much point keeping it in.

Again, thank you for your comments! And for the really lovely art! I-I appreciate it a lot! n////n
Ah, I thought that might be the case. I suppose Umineko does have the benefit of being written in NVL, where doing so doesn't really hurt comfort. Ah... I haven't used the force-skip function, so I didn't notice. I do think this is your call, though. I mean, this is just the opinion of one person, and you're the writer.

Thanks to you too! good luck with the game! (Look at this block of text, haha. I hope i'm not bothering anybody)

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#18 Post by ebi-hime » Fri Mar 20, 2015 4:19 pm

tantivy wrote:I finished the demo and I loved it!!
A-aw, thank you! u///u
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
tantivy wrote:Even though the story is lighthearted, I love that you explore so many thought-provoking concepts, like
the way that Clair (and Valerian) are ostracized, the emotional abuse Selene endures, the realities of war, and what it means to be a good person.
And all this just fits so naturally into the story. I haven’t really seen this before in an otome game.
Even though most of the story is fairly light-hearted, there will be some darker stuff in here as well. I enjoy writing both goofy comedy and gloomy things, so in longer projects I end up going with a bit of both.
To be honest, I haven't played that many otome games (I've played a lot more cute girl dating games aimed at guys) s-so I don't know what's common in a standard otoge... But maybe this is good. If I don't know all the familiar cliches of the genre, it might be easier to avoid them!

And I'm glad you like the pacing! I was a little worried it was too slow.
I did cut a couple of scenes here and there from the original version, but I noticed something... It's really hard to cut this stuff... Especially since it's useful for character building, and world building.
Maybe having more slow scenes is part of establishing a fantasy environment...

And I'm glad you like the characters! I think Clair's cute. She's also one of my favourites!
Well, I just love all my characters whenever I have to write any of their scenes, so they're all my favourites, hehe~ I can't pick...

Val is so popular. He's also my favourite too, so I understand how you feel XD

Thank you! I'll do my best to finish this!
I think it might take another year at least... But since I've already done so much of the writing, and have most of the art assets, I'm probably more than halfway done already >w<
I have a lot of free & commercial VNs available on Steam and itchio.io if you want to check them out! ☆

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#19 Post by ebi-hime » Fri Mar 20, 2015 4:36 pm

pyongtaro wrote:Hello, sorry for the delayed reply! I've been loaded with exams I couldn't find the time to sit down and type up a reply...
It's fine, I was busy a lot lately too n_n;
pyongtaro wrote: See, this is why you don't want my opinion! I actually somewhat enjoyed Grisaia's common route. Somewhat, because well yes, it's monstrous, but the character interactions were Grisaia's strongest point, and once I stopped thinking of the common route as a hurdle to overcome to get into the individual routes, enjoying it at my own pace, I actually came to appreciate it. Well there's my opinion that Grisaia's individual routes weren't that great too... (not that I actually finish all of them) Then again this is coming from someone who eventually came to enjoy Rewrite's common route aka Romeo-should-be-banned-from-writing-SOL. I think I'm just easily swayed, really (laughs).
About the transition thing - ah, yeah, I think there WAS clockwipe, haha, silly me. I just tend to click one time too much that I skip pass any transition ever in renpy games... should be more careful.
I kind of liked Griasia common route, and did find all the individual scenes funny and charming, but... there were too many of these individual scenes XD I'm conflicted about it...

I do that a lot in visual novels, tbh. I click through things very quickly, and sometimes end up missing a lot of information because I get impatient. Partially why I do the forced break after each sentence is to stop people like me clicking through like that and not reading everything. Though idk how well that works n_n;;
pyongtaro wrote: On the topic of MCs, if we're talking from the readers' standpoint, having reasonably bland MCs might be preferable because narration headed by protagonists they don't like can put them off... I mean, at least I know the reason I dropped Never7 was because I could barely stand the MC, though that rarely happened to me. Or perhaps the readers have the need to be able to relate to the protagonist to some extent to enjoy a narrative. And in galge/otomege, usually the obtainables are put in more priority, hence the protagonists are made to not overshadow them. But this kind of thing can also act as a double-edged sword... I think there's benefit in both bland MCs and MCs with pronounced personality from a narrative standpoint...
Yes, this is true! A plus of having a relatively 'quiet' MC in a cast of louder, more over the top characters, means there is less of a chance that their personality will grate on the reader and annoy them. I think it might be better if a MC can slip into the background rather than... be very notable all the time, while being very irritating. It's also good for storytelling, I guess, since most VNs are told in 1st person, so you want a narrator who has a nice, seemingly unbiased narrative 'voice' to describe other characters/actions/surroundings to you. Well, not always, depending on what you're writing, but it's useful.
But this does create a trend of relatively bland MCs who don't stand out with the rest of the cast. It's a pretty safe way of writing, I think, but it's not always super interesting?
I need to work on not having more exaggerated characters always take the spotlight. And give some more focus on the MC since, they're the MC, after all!
pyongtaro wrote: I'm glad you like it!
No, I just borrowed tumblr to host it by making it a private post... haha, I haven't uploaded anything into my art blog in like forever, I don't have the courage to put anything until I've drawn enough to justify my absence.
It's for you though, so you're free to do with it as you please.
Aw, thank you!!! >w<
I downloaded it, and I'm going to stare at it on my laptop when I want some more motivation~
Since Val seems to be the favourite I have to work hard to make sure his route is super good now haha n_n;
I have a lot of free & commercial VNs available on Steam and itchio.io if you want to check them out! ☆

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#20 Post by tantivy » Sat Mar 21, 2015 2:48 am

ebi-hime wrote:
To be honest, I haven't played that many otome games (I've played a lot more cute girl dating games aimed at guys) s-so I don't know what's common in a standard otoge... But maybe this is good. If I don't know all the familiar cliches of the genre, it might be easier to avoid them!
Actually, I've never played a Japanese otome game (other than Fire Emblem: Awakening, which is an RPG with otome elements), so with this limited perspective I'm not really a good authority on what's common in otome games either. ^^;; The deeper themes seem uncommon in original English language ones at least--enough so that I was pleasantly surprised.

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#21 Post by VocaloidsRCool » Fri Apr 10, 2015 9:05 am

This is a truly enjoyable game. I actually like long games, so I don't mind the pace at all; it seem to me that all of the characters have very defined personalities, and I like all of them. The character art is simply adorable, and my favorite guy is Valerian - he's just so cool, and his childish moments are so out of his usual character that it makes seeing them that much more enjoyable. I admire the fact that he will help anyone, no matter who they are, and how hardworking he is, plus, he's very attractive. I am seriously looking forward to the completed game. Keep up the great work!

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#22 Post by VocaloidsRCool » Fri Apr 10, 2015 9:12 am

Oh yeah, some people use a pay-what-you-want system for their games. I guess it's so that even children can play it, without worrying about buying it. That method of payment is one option if you want to use it.

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#23 Post by ebi-hime » Wed Apr 29, 2015 3:34 pm

VocaloidsRCool wrote:This is a truly enjoyable game. I actually like long games, so I don't mind the pace at all; it seem to me that all of the characters have very defined personalities, and I like all of them. The character art is simply adorable, and my favorite guy is Valerian - he's just so cool, and his childish moments are so out of his usual character that it makes seeing them that much more enjoyable. I admire the fact that he will help anyone, no matter who they are, and how hardworking he is, plus, he's very attractive. I am seriously looking forward to the completed game. Keep up the great work!
Aw, thank you! I'm glad you liked it n_n;
Ehcs' art is so cuuute haha XD I love how colourful it all is o:
Val is my favourite guy, too. The mix of being rather aloof/haughty + childish/immature is quite effective, I think. I like characters like that XD They're a lot of fun.

And I'll post this update here, too.
After working on this game for the last month, I managed to finish the initial round of proofreading for Luca's route, and put it into ren'py. Most of his route has the music/SFX/character sprites/BGs in place as well. I'll probably put it through a second round of proofreading later, just to ensure everything is phrased exactly right, the scenes flow well, and there isn't too much padding, but I guess one character route is done (more or less) for now. I still need to write his epilogue, but I imagine that won't take very long.

Now, to proofread the next character route... That will be Garrett's >_<

I'll also post some more regular updates about the progress of the game + screenshots on my new twitter account (which I'm still getting the hang of) so feel free to follow it. I'll keep updating the LS thread, but only for reasonably big updates.
I have a lot of free & commercial VNs available on Steam and itchio.io if you want to check them out! ☆

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#24 Post by doodle » Tue May 05, 2015 4:21 pm

Congratulations on getting the common route done! I just finished playing it, and want you to know you've done a great job so far. I get a very good feeling from playing these first hours of it - how everything seems peaceful, with the day-to-day life, but at the same time you notice there are things kind of "buried" underneath, dark and eerie things... for example, the wars being fought are brought up more than once, and it's a serious issue, but then the scene cuts to a more happy one with comical interaction between the characters.

I really love that, because that's often how life is; there is always horror and sadness but also always fun times and happiness, and seeing the contrast between ex. Luca, who has been out to war for a year and Rhea, who's just lived the same, peaceful life, is heartbreaking but also feels interesting and realistic.
I didn't except all of that story-depth just going by the cutsey art style, so I'm intrigued to find out what could happen next... depending on whose route you end up on! I really want more right now xD

I feel like most characters were interesting. They all seem to have more than one layer; no one is the stereotypical this-or-that (Luca is quiet and rude, but for a legitimate reason that we already know about, even if it can go overboard sometimes. Asa is jokey and flirty but not ridiculous, and has genuine care for other people other than the MC. Garrett is childish and idealistic, but more mature than he seems. Valerian... he's perfect XD)

Usually there's always this one (or in some cases two) obtainable guy-character I absolutely can't stand, but I didn't find that in this one. I did feel annoyed at Asa more than once though, he's just so pushy sometimes <.< but he was fun being annoyed with.

That being said, I do find Rhea a bit too passive at times. I'm a little conflicted as though how to feel about it; on one hand, I like it that she observes situations and characters, and she has some flaws (like she's not sure what to do or say all the time - very good, heroines who just always automatically know what they should do in all types of situations annoy me a lot). But at times, a whole scene could take place between 2 other characters, and she would just stand there and observe for the sake of the player. It makes it kind of strange at times, I just imagine her standing there staring into space xP
But I read what you wrote about writing protagonists... It's freaking HARD, I know. I have trouble with that, too. Usually the other characters are the ones I tend to focus on, which means the MC might end up becoming kind of bland or boring. I think you did a good job with Rhea though. She's been living in a small village in all of her life, she can't read and doesn't know much, and it feels like she still has a lot to figure out about life.

The pace of the common route was great, in my opinion; it gave you time to really get attached to these characters, get to know the world etc. before.... whatever happens will happen (but giving the end of this demo, I'm guessing it's something baaaad). I love the slice of life elements in a fantasy setting. The only thing is that I thought it took a bit too long before we got to make the first choice.

And now, having finished it, I actually have no idea whose route I'm even going to be on XD But I'm guessing Vally's or Garretts? I've no idea!

And speaking of that - those two are the ones I like the most of the guys. Or, well, I'm kind of favoring the doctor, but... Garrett's really sweet and cute, and him being hospitalized made me want to take care of him x) Luca also interest me, because we know he's been through some horrible stuff. I want to see how he'll try to cope with it, and how it has affected his/Rhea's/Asa's relationship.

Wow, I got so excited writing about this hahaha... I crave the full version now D: Keep up the good work, I'll be checking for updates~

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#25 Post by ebi-hime » Wed May 06, 2015 10:19 am

@ doodle

Aw, thank you! I was trying to make the tone of the story relatively light and cheery, but make it apparent there are some more unpleasant things going on underneath everything. Some of these things get touched upon in some of the character routes, but I'm trying not to make everything too grim. Some routes are more cheery than others XD
I was also trying to make it vaguely historically accurate (I guess the universe is set in the equivalent of 15th century Europe), which means most people would be illiterate, they do menial labour jobs, they don't travel far from their homes, and they die at fairly young ages from illness/war.
The fact they have a hospital at all is probably pushing things. Well, they also have coffee makers, so I guess it's not too deeply entrenched in the middle ages XD

Val is so cute hehe >w< I think the mix of being aloof/cynical + unexpectedly immature and competative is very adorable! It's probably a gap moe thing heheh...
I'm surprised Asa seems so popular, since I did deliberately write him as being quite intrusive and not very good @ respecting people's boundaries. If the story were set in modern times, I imagine he'd be the kind of guy who complains about being friendzoned on reddit a lot hahaha.

I have a tendency to write scenes between characters, and have Rhea act as the narrator without actually engaging in the scene herself. I'm trying hard to rectify this >_< I find her easier to write when she's having a conversation with only 1 other character, since then her voice doesn't get buried by everyone else.
Writing main characters is difficult ehehe... Actually, Rhea might be at her most interesting when she's being kind of judgemental about other characters, or getting annoyed at them, because then more of her personality comes through XD

I'm also wondering a little about how to implement the choices... The common route has a reasonable amount of them, but I think the character routes might not have any at all... Since some of the routes have a lot of plot crammed into them, giving the player too much freedom could really derail the story XD I was thinking of formatting it like some other VNs (Grisaia no Kajitsu and Shuffle! come to mind), which give you choices in the common route that decide which character route you'll end on, but the love interest's routes are relatively linear. It might be less immersive for the player, but it makes telling the story a lot easier for the writer ahaha n_n;;
Garrett's route has a good and bad end (though the bad end is not technically bad), since it feels natural for his story, but... I'm not sure if I could implement this in the other routes without it seeming too forced...
I'm wondering if I want to give the other guys different endings or not...

Aw, thank you! I hope the full version lives up to your expectations!
I wanna try and implement one guy's route into ren'py per month... Luca is already mostly done, so that's a relief.
The bulk of the text of the game is mostly all finished, but it also needs a lot of editing, because my writing is always awful before I proof it XD I end up cutting a lot of stuff, since I'm fond of making characters exposit the same pieces of information like 10 different times in a single scene in my first drafts XD I already cut like 10k useless words from Garrett's route and I'm not halfway through editing it yet >_<
I have a lot of free & commercial VNs available on Steam and itchio.io if you want to check them out! ☆

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#26 Post by VocaloidsRCool » Fri May 08, 2015 11:33 am

Ah, I only have one comment about your recent post. I am really into more non-linear visual novels, because they let the player decide what will happen in the game. Now, having said that, I will definitely be playing your game whether it has a lot of choices or not. It really is a great game. I love the story line, the art, the characters, etc. Keep up the great work.!

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#27 Post by ebi-hime » Fri May 08, 2015 5:35 pm

VocaloidsRCool wrote:Ah, I only have one comment about your recent post. I am really into more non-linear visual novels, because they let the player decide what will happen in the game. Now, having said that, I will definitely be playing your game whether it has a lot of choices or not. It really is a great game. I love the story line, the art, the characters, etc. Keep up the great work.!
I know choices are pretty popular in VNs, since they can make the reader feel immersed and add more replayability, but I really don't like choices that are just there to give the illusion of free choice but don't actually change the story. If I added choices, I would want them to change the outcome of the story - but I don't think that would be possible, since there are so many characters and plot twists I have to try and juggle already.
Implementing lots of choices is probably easier in a story which spans a shorter space of time, with a smaller cast, since then there are less plot points to keep track of/keep consistent.

Thank you, and I'm glad you like it so far n_n;;
I will do my best >_<
I have a lot of free & commercial VNs available on Steam and itchio.io if you want to check them out! ☆

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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#28 Post by philip » Thu May 14, 2015 7:34 pm

@ebi-hime-

Downloaded the demo and am working my way through it. I did encounter an exception; the traceback is attached:

I'm sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred.

While running game code:
File "game/script.rpy", line 6819, in script
"Luca's smiling. {w]He's actually {i}smiling{/i}."
Exception: Unknown text tag u"w]He's actually {i"

-- Full Traceback ------------------------------------------------------------

Full traceback:
File "game/script.rpy", line 6819, in script
"Luca's smiling. {w]He's actually {i}smiling{/i}."
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/ast.py", line 593, in execute
renpy.exports.say(who, what, interact=self.interact)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/exports.py", line 999, in say
who(what, interact=interact)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/character.py", line 826, in __call__
self.do_display(who, what, cb_args=self.cb_args, **display_args)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/character.py", line 688, in do_display
**display_args)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/character.py", line 491, in display_say
rv = renpy.ui.interact(mouse='say', type=type, roll_forward=roll_forward)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/ui.py", line 247, in interact
rv = renpy.game.interface.interact(roll_forward=roll_forward, **kwargs)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/display/core.py", line 2149, in interact
repeat, rv = self.interact_core(preloads=preloads, **kwargs)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/display/core.py", line 2478, in interact_core
self.draw_screen(root_widget, fullscreen_video, (not fullscreen_video) or video_frame_drawn)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/display/core.py", line 1677, in draw_screen
renpy.config.screen_height,
File "render.pyx", line 363, in renpy.display.render.render_screen (gen/renpy.display.render.c:5330)
File "render.pyx", line 174, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2537)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/display/layout.py", line 618, in render
surf = render(child, width, height, cst, cat)
File "render.pyx", line 98, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2849)
File "render.pyx", line 174, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2537)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/display/layout.py", line 618, in render
surf = render(child, width, height, cst, cat)
File "render.pyx", line 98, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2849)
File "render.pyx", line 174, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2537)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/display/layout.py", line 618, in render
surf = render(child, width, height, cst, cat)
File "render.pyx", line 98, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2849)
File "render.pyx", line 174, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2537)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/display/screen.py", line 598, in render
child = renpy.display.render.render(self.child, w, h, st, at)
File "render.pyx", line 98, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2849)
File "render.pyx", line 174, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2537)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/display/layout.py", line 618, in render
surf = render(child, width, height, cst, cat)
File "render.pyx", line 98, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2849)
File "render.pyx", line 174, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2537)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/display/layout.py", line 964, in render
st, at)
File "render.pyx", line 98, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2849)
File "render.pyx", line 174, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2537)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/display/layout.py", line 777, in render
surf = render(d, width - x, rh, cst, cat)
File "render.pyx", line 98, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2849)
File "render.pyx", line 174, in renpy.display.render.render (gen/renpy.display.render.c:2537)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/text/text.py", line 1509, in render
layout = Layout(self, width, height, renders)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/text/text.py", line 490, in __init__
self.paragraphs = self.segment(text.tokens, style, renders)
File "/Users/don/Downloads/This-World-Unknown-Demo-1.0-all/renpy/text/text.py", line 918, in segment
raise Exception("Unknown text tag %r" % text)
Exception: Unknown text tag u"w]He's actually {i"

Darwin-11.4.2-x86_64-i386-64bit
Ren'Py 6.18.3.761
This World Unknown Demo 1.0


Will be back with some comments when I am done; so far, I am enjoying the story, the backgrounds are great, as are the sprites. There are some typos scattered throughout, but not enough to detract from the story.

philip
"One who has never made a mistake has never attempted anything!"
-
and
-
"Finish what you start"

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ebi-hime
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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#29 Post by ebi-hime » Thu May 14, 2015 7:44 pm

@ philip

That'll be because I closed one of the pause commands with a ] rather than a }, I guess. Thanks for catching that!
I-I'm happy you like the BGs, considering they are just filtered photos hahaha... I was actually worrying today that the BGs don't look good enough in comparison to VNs which have fully handdrawn or high quality CG rendered BGs...
Thank you, I hope you enjoy it n_n;
I have a lot of free & commercial VNs available on Steam and itchio.io if you want to check them out! ☆

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bloodband
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Re: This World Unknown [Fantasy, Otome, GxB] [Demo out]

#30 Post by bloodband » Thu May 14, 2015 10:03 pm

So I played this a while ago and finally getting around to posting my thoughts on it. I really loved it, and I especially loved how long it was. It was definitely paced slower, but that's what I prefer so I can't complain. For me, it was very hard to connect with the MC. She was... probably the most sweet and innocent protag I've ever played as in a VN. Not that it's bad, I was sort of expecting it with her being a nurse and religious. It does make her more distinct compared to MC that are not given strong views/morals for the sake of self inserting the player.

I also don't mind there not being many choices, or they only being there to determine your path. Unless a lot is planned with the choices with multiple possibilities and branching paths, there isn't a need. I agree that it just kind of creates the illusion of choice. Especially when in the end people just go for the true/good ending anyways. I think I prefer when there are dialogue choices and all they influence is the response from the person for that scene but do not over all change the outcome of the story. Like how you talk to companions in Dragon Age games. But since Rhea is her own character, it wouldn't really fit and isn't necessary.

The characters are definitely distinct, I'd say all the girl characters surprising me the most. I wasn't expecting to like Clair, Selene, or Meirin very much with how girl characters are normally written in otome games but I was very glad to be proven wrong. They ended up being my favorites over the boys(aside from Val).

The art is cute and makes me a nostalgic for old school Harvest Moon games. It definitely makes the game feel more cheery and light-hearted, so whenever something serious happened I almost couldn't believe it.

Val is my favorite, so much so that I am not even the slightest bit interested in the other guys. Luca a little, I guess...
ebi-hime wrote:I'm surprised Asa seems so popular, since I did deliberately write him as being quite intrusive and not very good @ respecting people's boundaries. If the story were set in modern times, I imagine he'd be the kind of guy who complains about being friendzoned on reddit a lot hahaha.
Funny you say this, it's the *exact* vibe Asa was giving me and I took every choice I could to avoid his events. >_>

Overall I found the world and story very intriguing and am very much looking forward to getting to know everyone/learn everyone's secrets! >:3

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