Stolen Life [GxG] [GxB] [Mystery,Supernatural]

[wererat42]

Story and characters sound interesting, except the art style just doesn't look right in visual novel, especially not a fan of the way the noses are drawn.
Still, it's your project and you've chosen the style. So I guess stick with it.

[Seigetsu]

Thanks for answering my questions! When I said "action and mystery solving", I didn't mean that it must be portrayed interactively. I think a traditional VN with a few choices is good enough - I just thought it would be nice that you would write about action and mystery. I don't think a battle system is required

I just found the progress portion in your first post. I noticed that there is "writing: prologue, part 1..." Forgive me if I just missed it somewhere, but how many parts would this story be broken up into?

Anyway, once again, best of luck!

[Smudgeed]

Story and characters sound interesting, except the art style just doesn't look right in visual novel, especially not a fan of the way the noses are drawn.
Still, it's your project and you've chosen the style. So I guess stick with it.

Haha thank you! I swear if I could draw the noses any different, I would. Or if I could draw any better in general..but...alas...

Thanks for answering my questions! When I said "action and mystery solving", I didn't mean that it must be portrayed interactively. I think a traditional VN with a few choices is good enough - I just thought it would be nice that you would write about action and mystery. I don't think a battle system is required

I just found the progress portion in your first post. I noticed that there is "writing: prologue, part 1..." Forgive me if I just missed it somewhere, but how many parts would this story be broken up into?

Anyway, once again, best of luck!

OH. Then yes, of course this visual novel will have action and mystery solving!

Oh actually that is in fact my fault as I forgot to specify how many parts this will be. The parts are not evenly divided but there will be 5 parts as well as the prologue and epilogue. So in actuality, it is 7 parts.

And thank you!

[Smudgeed]

Update: I've added two new pages to the casebook, spells and clues.

In the game, I've decided that quick time events were a good way to add some difficulty. Some of these events will make use of spells that Maria can cast. Each spells yields different results. And you gain more spells by progressing through the story or through your choices. The spells are not only for quick time events but other choices in the game where Maria can cast something. Since spells are said in Latin, I figured having a spell page in your case book would be a good way to keep track of them.

Clues are gathered in a linear format. They are more like a sort of currency for the story. In the end, how many clues you have gathered affects what ending you get.

Additionally, I've done the Maria and River images (I will make the River transparent, don't worry)

Thank you!

[Heiden]

This looks like a really interesting story!

What do you think about the story?
I'm a really big fan of 'coming back to your hometown' stories. They're really fertile ground to talk about how time can change people.

What do you like? What do you think could be done a bit better?
Love the art! I also like how the GxG romances outnumber the GxB ones, you don't see that often and we are always in need of more GxG.

What are you looking forward to?
Solving the mystery, of course!

What style of sprite art would you like to see?
I like what you have so far, it looks very unique.

Would you play this game?
YUS.

Question / Comments / Concerns ?

This is probably the most pedantic comment you're going to get, but I have to admit that I am having a very hard time believing that the River Hood character is a 'temporary medical examiner' despite being only a student (not even a Medical Student, or Resident, but just a student), ESPECIALLY one that doesn't even have a focus in Pathology (she wants to be a Marine Biologist you say). If there was going to be a 'temporary medical examiner' it would most likely be one of the Dieners working in the OCME or a local Coroner. Is River Hood going to testify in court about what she found in the autopsy? Is the court going to take her advice when she's not even a doctor? Aren't there other medical examiners/dieners/SOME SORT OF QUALIFIED DOCTOR somewhere in this supernatural world to take over the role of medical examiner in this town? Does the medical system work differently in this world? Could you explain this for me?

[Smudgeed]

....

Question / Comments / Concerns ?

This is probably the most pedantic comment you're going to get, but I have to admit that I am having a very hard time believing that the River Hood character is a 'temporary medical examiner' despite being only a student (not even a Medical Student, or Resident, but just a student), ESPECIALLY one that doesn't even have a focus in Pathology (she wants to be a Marine Biologist you say). If there was going to be a 'temporary medical examiner' it would most likely be one of the Dieners working in the OCME or a local Coroner. Is River Hood going to testify in court about what she found in the autopsy? Is the court going to take her advice when she's not even a doctor? Aren't there other medical examiners/dieners/SOME SORT OF QUALIFIED DOCTOR somewhere in this supernatural world to take over the role of medical examiner in this town? Does the medical system work differently in this world? Could you explain this for me?

Firstly, thank you for your comment!

And I am happy you brought up the River Hood situation! It's actually meant to be like that since it is brought up in the game. I didn't want to spoil anything about it but she later claims she is actually the temporary assistant medical examiner if you choose to question her about it, as well as a slew of other excuses (though she introduces herself as being the main examiner, and never acknowledges the work of anyone else). It is meant to play out this way because the actual temporary medical examiner is properly qualified but is not brought up until River is called out on the fact she is only a student. I should also specify that she is a medical school student and not just any student. And though she wishes to become a marine biologist, she is doing no study towards that and it's more like a far off dream...

I thank you for bringing this up as I am a bit more aware of my errors in this idea. I thought this through, but clearly not enough. I will look into a way to make this more believable! And even editing what I had written for her I suppose I wanted to keep the actual thing a surprise, but it's probably more important to make sure everyone understands the characters properly haha

[Heiden]

--
And I am happy you brought up the River Hood situation! It's actually meant to be like that since it is brought up in the game. I didn't want to spoil anything about it but she later claims she is actually the temporary assistant medical examiner if you choose to question her about it, as well as a slew of other excuses (though she introduces herself as being the main examiner, and never acknowledges the work of anyone else). It is meant to play out this way because the actual temporary medical examiner is properly qualified but is not brought up until River is called out on the fact she is only a student. I should also specify that she is a medical school student and not just any student. And though she wishes to become a marine biologist, she is doing no study towards that and it's more like a far off dream...

I thank you for bringing this up as I am a bit more aware of my errors in this idea. I thought this through, but clearly not enough. I will look into a way to make this more believable! And even editing what I had written for her I suppose I wanted to keep the actual thing a surprise, but it's probably more important to make sure everyone understands the characters properly haha

Aaahh, ok. That makes 1000% more sense.

And I wouldn't worry about it too much! What you have now sounds believable! I guarantee you 99% of people wouldn't have noticed, haha. I just have a personal history with the field of medical examiner/OCME's, so I have a bit of a different perspective.

[Smudgeed]

Aaahh, ok. That makes 1000% more sense.

And I wouldn't worry about it too much! What you have now sounds believable! I guarantee you 99% of people wouldn't have noticed, haha. I just have a personal history with the field of medical examiner/OCME's, so I have a bit of a different perspective.

Haha no it's okay! This is my first project so even then it's important that I pay attention to things like this

And to everyone else, apologies for not updating in a while. The river sprite is 100% done and part 1 of the game is about 40% done now! Thank you for your interest.

[Hijitoki]

What do you think about the story?
I like it! It sounds very interesting. Despite it having similar plot teasers with other shows, I think it'll go great. Probably because I really love learning about the supernatural XD You can go through a lot of interpretations.

What do you like? What do you think could be done a bit better?
Overall, I'm not sure as of yet. For the tarot cards, it might be better to be a bit more simplistic to understand who's what. That's especially important if it's crucial to the story

What are you looking forward to?
I'm more excited for the game play and story. I like collecting clues and linking to the true mystery.

What style of sprite art would you like to see?
I think the current art style is great for the mystery aspect of the novel. It's not too hyper-realistic for uncanny valley.

Would you play this game?
Of course!

Question / Comments / Concerns ?
Just to keep updates consistent and don't ever be overstressed!

[Smudgeed]

@Hijitoki Thank you for your comment! I'm not too sure how to update consistently, but I know that I am clearly not doing that haha For the tarot cards, it's not too important to know who's what. But I will list them here anyway:

Valerie - Lovers
Cullen - Hermit
Sam - Empress
Talia - Temperance
Alex - Star
River - Tower

Update on game progress. Plus, new screenshots. The art is coming along pretty slowly but I've added in some CGs and worked on the updated images in the Casebook

Here's what the River page looks like when she likes you a bit more, the map (nothing fancy, I know), and a Talia CG image

[bellice]

*giggles excitedly* I mean what.

In all seriousness, I'm really looking forward to this.

[Smudgeed]

*giggles excitedly* I mean what.

In all seriousness, I'm really looking forward to this.

hehe thank you. It means a lot that you're looking forward to this! It makes me want to make this entire game just for you.

But I would like to take this time to discuss a small feature I've added in that I particularly like. Taking inspiration from Bioware games, I've allowed players to define certain things about Maria that then lead to different dialogue. This is mostly limited to defining little things about Maria like her favorite movie or her allergies but I think it will make you, as the player, fit more into Maria's shoes. You can define certain things like how Maria feels about murder all the way to the type of ice cream she enjoys. In addition, because I don't think I've seen it in a game before, Maria's sexuality can be defined by the player as well. Due to the way I've written the game, the options are limited but you can choose to have Maria be homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, or not be able to put a label on it. Choosing to have Maria be gay will close the Cullen and Alex routes past the first time you meet them in their locations.

ADDITIONALLY: Each route gets their own special page in the casebook that updates as you get to certain parts in their romance. For example, Talia's page is "Things I don't understand about Talia" and the list grows as you play through her route. Check it when you've gotten any one of Talia's endings to see something special.

ANNNNNDDDD some fun facts about the character heights (I realize some of the characters I have not talked about before. oops.): Ajax is the tallest in the game at about 6'2". Mason, Jay and River are the second tallest at about 6'. Maria is only 5'5" and Sam is the shortest at 5'4". Valerie and Cullen are the roughly the same height (5'9"). Alex is 5'10". Sasha and Talia are 5'7". Willa is about 5'5". And Trevor is about ten years old, so he's actually the shortest at 4'7" but well that's not his full height, so I don't count it.

Here is the Valerie sprite in her sleepwear.

[wererat42]

That sprite of Valerie looks like a big improvement to me.

[Seigetsu]

This is looking wonderful. I've contemplated letting the player define things about the protagonist for the game I'm working on, but decided against it because I thought it was too challenging for myself, personally. I'd be really happy to see that implemented into your game because it would make it easier for the reader to immerse into the plot through the protagonist's viewpoint. I'm really looking forward to that!

[bellice]

I'm usually happy so long as I can determine who the main character romances, but it'll be interesting to see how you can implement that.