Legends of the Rift (BxG)[Scifi/mystery] Updated 5/19

[godman85]

I would like your opinions on the characters, background, voice overs, and overall script.

Things to consider.

This alpha was created before we implemented special effects, animations, and various other quality of life improvements.

[Taleweaver]

Merged this post into the discussion thread for your game in WIP. Creator Discussion isn't really the right place to ask for an opinion on one single project.

That much said, I do like the voiceover, the effects and the background very much. Character art looks a little... amateurish in comparison. Also, the font you're using could be a little less generic.

[gekiganwing]

I watched the alpha test video, and was impressed. I didn't remember that Ren'py could be used to imitate camera movement. Though it has been an embarrassingly long time since I last read a visual novel on a computer...

I'm hoping that the development of Black Sands is going well. If there are problems with writing or coding or anything, be sure to ask for help.

I appreciate that this VN has a distinct aesthetic and story. Even though I like cute and whimsical art, I also appreciate variety and artistic experiments. I say this because I recently looked through some alternative comics and graphic novels to remind myself that there are series in English which don't resemble Image Comics' mid-90s output.

[godman85]

I watched the alpha test video, and was impressed. I didn't remember that Ren'py could be used to imitate camera movement. Though it has been an embarrassingly long time since I last read a visual novel on a computer...

I'm hoping that the development of Black Sands is going well. If there are problems with writing or coding or anything, be sure to ask for help.

I appreciate that this VN has a distinct aesthetic and story. Even though I like cute and whimsical art, I also appreciate variety and artistic experiments. I say this because I recently looked through some alternative comics and graphic novels to remind myself that there are series in English which don't resemble Image Comics' mid-90s output.

Thanks, we are cleaning everything up now so we can get the publisher Demo out. Hopefully land us a big wig to help us get on the map

[papillon]

That quill-scratching sound for the narration text could get quite annoying being played so much (and doesn't seem to match the font you've chosen, since it doesn't look handwritten). Might want to remove that, or tone it down, or limit it to specific areas.

(I have a slight bias as I actually have a similar effect in a small part of a game I'm doing at the moment, but only for a couple of words and I've animated the text appearance to make it come out stroke-by-stroke as if being drawn by the pen.)

Overall it's looking quite nice though.

[godman85]

That quill-scratching sound for the narration text could get quite annoying being played so much (and doesn't seem to match the font you've chosen, since it doesn't look handwritten). Might want to remove that, or tone it down, or limit it to specific areas.

(I have a slight bias as I actually have a similar effect in a small part of a game I'm doing at the moment, but only for a couple of words and I've animated the text appearance to make it come out stroke-by-stroke as if being drawn by the pen.)

Overall it's looking quite nice though.

Oh whats up. Yeah, We are toning it down in volume. we might swap it out later.

A lot of our gameplay elements are similar to long live the queen, but it wont be in the demo. Its a mix between long live the queen and loren the amazon

[godman85]

Major updates provided. Would love your input

[godman85]

Currently. We are working on Bakasura. He will be the most deadly yet of all the antagonist and an anomoly in and of himself.

[godman85]

Bakasura will join us shortly. We are finishing him up.

[Chocopyro]

Holy crap, this reminds me of a D&D setting I designed once. Alright, please excuse me while the armchair anthropologist in me dies from hype.

-clears throat-
OMG!THEARTWORKISSOFUCKINGBEAUTIFULANDTHESETTINGISAMAZINGLIKEOMGSERIOUSLYIVEBEENWAITINGFORANAFRICANMYTHOLOGYINSPIREDFANTASYSETTINGFORFRICKENEVERANDIKNOWYOUTAKEITABOVEANDBEYONDAFRICAINTOTHEMIDDLEEASTANDINDIAWHICHISEVENBETTERANDITSTECHNICALLYMORESCIFITHANFANTASYANDHOLYCRAPYOUVEDONEYOURREASEARCHANDTHATMAKESMESOHAPPY!!!!1!
-faints-

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let me just say, I'm going to have to get my hands on that demo. Right after I stop hyperventilating.

[godman85]

atleast someone is taking note of it lol.

[Silken Sail]

Like others have said, this is a really unique concept and aesthetic. You're definitely onto something here! Makes the game stand out and gives it the potential to appeal to people outside of the usual VN crowd.

After watching your videos, just a few comments:

- I think the voicework adds a lot of flavor and is pretty good overall. Kudos for finding some actors that can handle the accents! Technical things I'd note would be that Apedemak's actor seems to have a worse microphone than the others, and that you need to watch for mispronunciations (Nun said "milestone" instead of "millstone" for example) and microphone pops (which can happen around "p" sounds) as those will take people out of the experience pretty quick.

- This is more something to keep in mind than a critique of what's there, but make sure you don't lose focus of the beating heart of every story - the characters. In a fantasy setting, particularly one steeped in lore, it's easy to get lost in the plot or the intricacies of the world, but it's ultimately the characters that will draw people in and get them invested. As you mentioned it earlier, Game of Thrones can exemplify both sides of this, with the "road trip" adventures of (minor spoilers)

Arya+The Hound or Brienne+Jaime

being good examples, and Bran or the silliness in Dorne being bad examples. Gilgamesh seems to have a strong personality, but the others seem pretty enigmatic so far. Just something to keep an eye on.

Overall, I'm excited to see where this goes! You've definitely sold me on the concept. Hope you succeed in executing it!

[JBShields]

Just wanted to know: has this VN already been released?