False Light [BXB][Vamp][Romance][Drama]

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Alieval
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False Light [BXB][Vamp][Romance][Drama]

#1 Post by Alieval » Tue Oct 20, 2015 7:19 pm

Delete please!
Last edited by Alieval on Thu Apr 27, 2017 10:47 pm, edited 13 times in total.

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Re: False Light The Otome [BXB][Drama][Vampires]

#2 Post by akemicchi » Wed Oct 21, 2015 1:34 am

* How does the overall premise sound to you? Is it something that interests you?
I love vampires, so yes, this is definitely relevant to my interests.

*If the story is good enough, would the art bother you that much?
Your art doesn't look bad from what I've seen, so that's not a problem! In my case, I don't typically judge VNs by their art style; I do, however, judge them pretty harshly for their writing. If the art is good but the writing is not, it'd definitely bother me a lot. But bad art and good writing? It's not a problem for me.

But like I said, your art doesn't look bad at all. You don't have to worry about that.

*Which characters sound the most exciting to you?
From first impressions? The most exciting for me is probably Enode. I tend to be really apathetic to character descriptions until I see a character in action, though. Most of the time, a character acts differently from my impression of them, so I like to reserve judgement until I see them in the game. Hopefully he'll be really interesting, considering how you mentioned he's a character you're really interested in! :)

*If I released a demo without all the art, would you still find it interesting to try out the play style?
I don't mind! If you're confident in your writing, I'm all for playing a demo without art assets. :) But if it's for showing off the 'play style', I wouldn't bother. It's just VN, isn't it? With menu choices and you select them? Unless it's got gameplay systems that other VNs have never offered before or gameplay systems that typical VNs don't usually have (Mood systems? Sanity meters? Room to room travelling?), I wouldn't release a demo for the sake of people playing for the 'play style'. Hook people with the writing, art, music, cinematics, etc., instead.

~*~

I also have a few things I want to say. I hope it's alright if I say them. @_@

Have you read Anne Rice's Interview with a Vampire? Or even the Vampire Chronicles. There are a lot of similar events that you have here that reminded me of Interview with a Vampire: reporter talking to a vampire, child vampires, even Roven's live theatre acts. It might be an interesting read for you if you haven't tried it yet!

Also, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just say it: it feels like you spoiled your story with the character section. A lot of the mystery with Enode was related to whether or not he's a vampire, but outright admitting it in the same paragraph... A lot of his intrigue just seemed to fly out the window, since that answers pretty much all the questions I had for this game based on the premise (Why does Enode not accept interviews? Why does he write vampire books? And, more importantly, the biggest question: is he a vampire or is he not?).

Same with Laeron and Enju. I think it'd be better if you mentioned that Enode was too young to have a child and left it at that. You should have just let the player stew in their questions: Is Enju really Enode's brother? Is Laeron really Enode's son? If Enode is a vampire, could they be vampires, too? In the game, you'd be able to surprise us by telling us that Laeron was not only a vampire, but is also Enode's biological son! But vampires can't have children! So what happened was his uncle, Enju, made him into a vampire! Telling us everything in the character descriptions just... completely removed the mystery. It's the same with the other characters too. It makes me wonder if this VN will surprise me in any way once I pick it up. It's a pretty bad feeling, since I want to enjoy this game.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. I hope you didn't find it offensive.
Good to hear that the writing will be no problem for you (I wish I were the same, aaaah, so envious!). Good luck with everything! I can't wait to play it regardless.

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Re: False Light The Otome [BXB][Drama][Vampires]

#3 Post by Alieval » Wed Oct 21, 2015 2:07 am

Hey, thank you for getting back to me!

I read somewhere on the forums here that this is a place to get feedback and such and not to 'worry about spoiling' some things since this this place is for peer to peer feedback not the customer base. I guess I misunderstood then?

I don't find it offensive at all. I didn't want to disclose everything but again I had read around the forums and was trying to follow rules. @_@ I can remove them for future people reading over this though.

I have read anne-rice and watched the movies. The reasons why I have a child is coincidence though. The whole story and character cast developed through years of rping them with friends. But Anne-rice is what got me into vampires to begin with ;) she's awesome.

I used the wrong phrasing for play style when I was talking about demo! I meant that it would give people a chance to experience the story a bit and such.

As for any spoilers, there's a lot to be discovered in the game still so no worries! I really did not tell all of the good things in the write-ups.

Thanks for responding though! I am always glad to hear feedback!

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Re: False Light The Otome [BXB][Drama][Vampires]

#4 Post by The1920squeen » Wed Oct 21, 2015 11:45 am

* How does the overall premise sound to you? Is it something that interests you?
I really am really into the story you have so far, and I believe this project has a lot of potential. Plus I am a huge fan of BL and vampires and I feel that there are not enough BL games in the world.

*If the story is good enough, would the art bother you that much?
Well the artwork needs some work but I'm sure that won't be a problem. I do like the dark style considering this VN has a horror element to it.

*Which characters sound the most exciting to you?
Roven does sound like a total hunk and I do like the gorgeous and flirty characters, plus I'm a sucker for red heads.

*If I released a demo without all the art, would you still find it interesting to try out?
Ya why not? I would like to try out a demo even if the artwork is still a work in progress.

As I said before I think this project has a ton of potential but still has some rough patches that needs to be ironed out a bit. I do like the idea of hot Vampires just so long that it is not like Twilight. The characters need to be fleshed out and have personality to them, and not be all wishy washy. But other than that I'm really looking forward to the final product.

Good luck!

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Re: False Light The Otome [BXB][Drama][Vampires]

#5 Post by Alieval » Wed Oct 21, 2015 11:52 am

The1920squeen wrote:*

As I said before I think this project has a ton of potential but still has some rough patches that needs to be ironed out a bit. I do like the idea of hot Vampires just so long that it is not like Twilight. The characters need to be fleshed out and have personality to them, and not be all wishy washy. But other than that I'm really looking forward to the final product.

Good luck!
Only thing that is going to take me a while is doing all the art myself. This will NOT be sparkly vampires like Twilight lol. I even make a joke about that in game. The characters are 100% fleshed out as I said above that I have created them years ago and they have developed over rping them over time. So no worries! I had more in the descriptions of them but someone else felt it was too much spoilers so I took it out :D Thanks for the feedback!

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Re: False Light The Otome [BXB][Drama][Vampires]

#6 Post by YonYonYon » Wed Oct 21, 2015 5:04 pm

Why is this Otome if it's BL? These are pretty different genres, I dare to say. Because Otome implies that the protagonist is a woman, while BL implies that it's a story about Boys' Love.

While I like vampires, I didn't like the synopsis. Why is there even a choice between pretending to be a butler or telling the thruth if it's "obvious". Like, no, it's not. I'd tell the truth, because I see no merit in lying in this situation.
ImageImage

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Re: False Light The Otome [BXB][Drama][Vampires]

#7 Post by Alieval » Wed Oct 21, 2015 5:25 pm

YonYonYon wrote:Why is this Otome if it's BL? These are pretty different genres, I dare to say. Because Otome implies that the protagonist is a woman, while BL implies that it's a story about Boys' Love.

While I like vampires, I didn't like the synopsis. Why is there even a choice between pretending to be a butler or telling the thruth if it's "obvious". Like, no, it's not. I'd tell the truth, because I see no merit in lying in this situation.

Thank you for your feedback! Good or bad, it's nice to hear from people. Looks like this is just one of those things that aren't up your alley and that's alright. Your word's come off a bit harsh but I can see where you're coming from. Thanks again for the comment!

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Re: False Light The Otome [BXB][Vamp][Art-Update]

#8 Post by Alieval » Fri Oct 23, 2015 12:47 am

Art Update: Redesign of Enode.

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Re: False Light The Otome [BXB][Vamp][Art-Update]

#9 Post by Alieval » Sat Oct 24, 2015 7:54 pm

Now has Official Logo and info about the Demo Progress. Minor changes to the overall info.

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Re: False Light [BXB][Vamp][Romance][Drama]

#10 Post by sakurakimuchi » Sun Oct 25, 2015 5:59 am

VAMPIRE GAME?! Damn, you already won me over with that, really. I'm a huge vampire fan, so I would still be excited for your game even if the art sucked, but hey, I'm SO glad that your art is good, pretty damn good actually. But anyways...

*Do you find the info interesting?
Sure! Like I said, I really like vampires, and please, the world needs more vampire VN. But apart from that, I think the plot of the game is interesting so far.
*Which characters sound the most exciting to you?
All of them, apart from Seigo and the player character, I guess.
I mean, Seigo actually sounds interesting and all, but the type of character that you described him as is just not my personal cup of tea, you know? He seems like the annoying cruel bitchy-villain-highschool mean popular character of a teen movie, like the type that hits on everyone, and that type of character always annoys the crap out of me just because I can't really control my jealousy towards the characters that I really like ;o;
But ehm, anyway... But I think he seems to be a complex characters which is cool, I just think he is going to piss me off, but please don't take that as an offensive feedback, please. English is not my main language so it's a bit hard for me to express myself, but what I meant to say is that he sounds like a good villain. Like, a good villain should make people angry, so I think he will be the perfect villain for this game.
And as the player character it's nothing personal really, I don't know why but the majority of the main characters of VNs/otome games seem kinda bland to me. But that's my opinion now, and it might change when I actually play the game, so who knows? Maybe he is a cool character, I just don't know much stuff about him to judge yet.

So anyway, please forgive me if my english is terrible and good luck with the game! Sounds awesome.

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Re: False Light [BXB][Vamp][Romance][Drama]

#11 Post by Alieval » Sun Oct 25, 2015 2:00 pm

sakurakimuchi wrote:VAMPIRE GAME?! Damn, you already won me over with that, really. I'm a huge vampire fan, so I would still be excited for your game even if the art sucked, but hey, I'm SO glad that your art is good, pretty damn good actually. But anyways...

*Do you find the info interesting?
Sure! Like I said, I really like vampires, and please, the world needs more vampire VN. But apart from that, I think the plot of the game is interesting so far.
*Which characters sound the most exciting to you?
All of them, apart from Seigo and the player character, I guess.
I mean, Seigo actually sounds interesting and all, but the type of character that you described him as is just not my personal cup of tea, you know? He seems like the annoying cruel bitchy-villain-highschool mean popular character of a teen movie, like the type that hits on everyone, and that type of character always annoys the crap out of me just because I can't really control my jealousy towards the characters that I really like ;o;
But ehm, anyway... But I think he seems to be a complex characters which is cool, I just think he is going to piss me off, but please don't take that as an offensive feedback, please. English is not my main language so it's a bit hard for me to express myself, but what I meant to say is that he sounds like a good villain. Like, a good villain should make people angry, so I think he will be the perfect villain for this game.
And as the player character it's nothing personal really, I don't know why but the majority of the main characters of VNs/otome games seem kinda bland to me. But that's my opinion now, and it might change when I actually play the game, so who knows? Maybe he is a cool character, I just don't know much stuff about him to judge yet.

So anyway, please forgive me if my english is terrible and good luck with the game! Sounds awesome.
Thanks for the input! I've been working on making the player character a bit more interesting. I'm not giving more info about the game till the demo release though~~~

As for Seigo.. yes.. yes he is definitely one of those people are going to love to hate... or just hate. -Shrugs- lol

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Re: False Light [BXB][Vamp][Romance][Drama]

#12 Post by Alieval » Mon Oct 26, 2015 2:01 am

And Enju has a face, woo. ;)

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Re: False Light [BXB][Vamp][Romance][Drama]

#13 Post by sakurakimuchi » Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:03 am

Alieval wrote:And Enju has a face, woo. ;)
A beautiful one, let me tell you that.
Anyways, good luck! I'm already looking forward to this. :D

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Re: False Light [BXB][Vamp][Romance][Drama]

#14 Post by sakurakimuchi » Tue Nov 17, 2015 9:19 pm

It's been a while, but I hope this is still going. :)

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Re: False Light [BXB][Vamp][Romance][Drama]

#15 Post by Alieval » Thu Nov 19, 2015 2:28 am

It is going still! I have edited some things and working on art. I even found an artist to aid me in sketching the backgrounds. Thanks for caring still!

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