Taste The Grim Gaze (Working Title) - Kinetic Novel?

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kenkrath
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Taste The Grim Gaze (Working Title) - Kinetic Novel?

#1 Post by kenkrath » Wed Jan 20, 2016 11:06 am

Long time reader of this forum, but finally decided to register and post since I got a little bit of my project up. I was wondering if this would be considered a Kinetic Novel that I am working on. I was writing a novel a few years ago and since I doubt I have the writing skills to get it published, not to mention the difficulty of getting it published, my brother bought me RPG Maker Ace. It's quite difficult to find a suitable forum to get an evaluation and feedback, but I think there might be some folks on here that might be able to give some feedback. Anyways here goes.

Synopsis:

Elow, Amalazia, and their bodyguard, Narboz are forced to flee their home, Granthar, during Elow's and Amal's wedding, which you can probably guess from the video. They reluctantly decide to head to Illiysia, a small kingdom that has yet to be conquered and and is ruled by Queen Eris. Heading to Illiysia is also Gnesix, Prince of Algail, a kingdom that is already controlled by Drakth, who was responsible for Elow's current displacement. Elow is also oblivious to the mystery surrounding his sword, The Grim Gaze, and its connection to Atis, a female Deity that is able to seduce death and who will appear only at a time when her "hatred of man causes her to realize her love for man."

Characters: (Incomplete)
Image
Elow-Buf:
The main protagonist. Elow, as he is called, is the battle wary king of Granthar. At the age of 19 he had fought in the second Gryzz War, including the decisive Battle of Osolith with Lord Cileh. He later orchestrated an unlikely alliance with the Gryzz people against the island nation of Danem, in what was simply known as the Danem War. Claiming his victory and revenge in Danem he looks forward to marrying the beautiful Amalazia and ruling his kingdom with her peacefully. All is not as it seems, however, as his own church starts to question their faith in the Deity's and lean towards worshiping the Perished. Elow is the only person known to wield the terrifying Grim Gaze, a sword that even the Deity's themselves fear.

Image
Amalazia:


The beautiful Amalazia is the daughter of Lord Kanaj of Branzter. When Cerick, the king of Danem, approached Kanaj for his daughter's hand in marriage, Kanaj was thrilled to have one of the finest and exemplary men known to ask for his daughter. Amalazia, however, was not interested in marrying Cerick. Depressed, Kanaj held a contest for his daughter's hand. The contest was to simply strap the Sheath of The Grim Gaze around the contestants waist, since Amalazia was the only person until then who has held the sheath she was certain there would be no victor and she would be allowed to chose her own suitor, whereas Kanaj was certain Cerick would win. Contestants from all over came, but Amalazia intuition was correct as none of the contestants could even lift the sheath with the exception of Cerick, who succumbed to his fears and dropped the sheath, that was until a wandering King Elow-buf happened upon the contest.
Image
Narboz:

Narboz was born in the peninsula kingdom of Tireg. His mother was the younger sister of King Vrud and was fathered by the only soldier from Tireg to participate in either of the Gryzz Wars, where he was killed in the first one. Orphaned at a young age as his mother died in child birth, Narboz left Tireg because of its treatment of women and their openness to the worship of the Perished. Technically Narboz is the third in lineage for the throne of Tireg, behind King Vrud and his first cousin Vaklom. Narboz posses unnatural strength, a gene shared with his cousin Vaklom. He is also a grand blacksmith as well as an accomplished architect.

Image
Ciro:

Ciro is Granthar's battlegist, military strategist who are able to participate on the front lines of battle due to their exceptional combat abilities. He is the son of a Granthar miner and spent a lot of his youth watching the soldiers of Granthar train and practice. As both his tactical and combat skills developed he caught the eye of fellow battlegist, Lord Cileh, and was recruited to demonstrate his skills in the second Gryzz Wars. His reputation as an accomplished battlegist swelled during the Danem War where he was hailed the hero of the Danem War due to his battlefield tactics. He considers Narboz his best friend.

Image
Lyrzz:

Lyrzz is the only battlegist of the Gryzz people. Like most of the Gryzz people who fought in both of the Gryzz Wars he wishes to move on peacefully and form political alliances with the neighboring human kingdoms. This movement is met with resistance from the younger Gryzz people, who fail to see the opportunities these alliances will create, mainly because of their defeat in the second Gryzz War and the fact that many of their parents were killed in the first Gryzz War. Lyrzz although older is still a formidable warrior. He mostly acts as an ambassador for the Gryzz people's chief.
Image
Prathos:

Not much is known about the mercenary Prathos. There are few that know he is from Illiysia, and even fewer know who his father was, Musa, considered the greatest battlegist of all. Prathos's father met an untimely death in the first Gryzz War, which was considered the point of defeat for the combined kingdoms of Granthar, Algail, and Illiysia. Musa's death also severely weakened Illiysia's military standing and caused the after effect of deteriorating relations between Granthar, Algail, and Illiysia. Unlike his father, Prathos does not work well in a military unit, however his swordsmanship is elite among even the most gifted fighters and it is rare for even an accomplished opponent to last more than a few seconds against Prathos's aggressive fighting style. Prathos is so confident in his abilities that he will lose a fight on purpose for his own amusement or to hide is weakness, if there are any. His weapon is the Tri-Sword, a blade that few swordsmen can wield and appears impossible to forge.
Hopefully if episodes 1-3 are successful, I can work on a crowdfunding campaign to complete the season. At least I will have generated enough interest, suspense, and hopefully project samples to generate some support.

Episodes:





Anyways I would love to hear some comments as well as critiques. I know sometimes RPG Maker gets slammed as an engine for creating these things, but I admit this is more of a hobby than anything else, albeit a costly hobby :) Well hopefully you enjoy :)
Last edited by kenkrath on Wed Feb 10, 2016 1:03 am, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Taste The Grim Gaze (Working Title) - Kinetic Novel?

#2 Post by Ghost #9 » Wed Jan 20, 2016 12:38 pm

I have the solution to your dilemma! In order to use the Youtube function, you should put JUST the video identifier between the two tags rather than the entire URL. In other words, just the string of letters at the end. In your case:

Video 1: DkL23CnmUlU
Video 2: G8U_bFpfTnY

As for the project itself, I would recommend putting some information here describing what the project is about instead of just the two videos. Generate some interest! Also, I'm curious why the two episodes are 4 and 8?

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Re: Taste The Grim Gaze (Working Title) - Kinetic Novel?

#3 Post by kenkrath » Wed Jan 20, 2016 12:56 pm

Ok. I think I got it.

Here is a synopsis:

Elow, Amalazia, and their bodyguard, Narboz are forced to flee their home, Granthar, during Elow's and Amal's wedding. They reluctantly decide to head to Illiysia, a small kingdom that has yet to be conquered and and is ruled by Queen Eris. Heading to Illiysia is also Gnesix, Prince of Algail, a kingdom that is already controlled by Drakth, who was responsible for Elow's current displacement. Elow is also oblivious to the mystery surrounding his sword, The Grim Gaze, and its connection to Atis, a female Deity that is able to seduce death and who will appear only at a time when her "hatred of man causes her to realize her love for man." The big questios are: Will Illiysia's Queen Eris accept Elow or make him fend for himself and why is Gnesix also heading to Illiysia?

I started with Episode 4 and 8 because it had a balance of action and dialogue and was a little more cost effective to produce as well. It also gave me a bit to practice as far as a final production goes per say. Episode 1 and 2 in particular will have several events and characters, and thus will be little more difficult to complete. The learning curve should also be smaller now going into Episode 1 and 2.

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Re: Taste The Grim Gaze (Working Title) - Kinetic Novel?

#4 Post by gekiganwing » Fri Jan 22, 2016 2:08 am

kenkrath wrote:...I know sometimes RPG Maker gets slammed as an engine for creating these things, but I admit this is more of a hobby than anything else...
It provides more default assets than most game making tools, and there are plenty of free assets made by creators. That said, I see RPG Maker programs as just tools that people can use for creating video games. It's possible for a person to make a game using just their bundled resources and ones made by third parties. It's also possible for a person to make a game using an RPG Maker program and most or all new, custom made resources.
kenkrath wrote:Elow, Amalazia, and their bodyguard, Narboz are forced to flee their home, Granthar, during Elow's and Amal's wedding. They reluctantly decide to head to Illiysia, a small kingdom that has yet to be conquered and and is ruled by Queen Eris...
I recommend making sure that your story can be described in an elevator pitch. The people at Writing Excuses talked about this topic a few years ago. Their audio-only discussion can be found here.
I started with Episode 4 and 8 because it had a balance of action and dialogue and was a little more cost effective to produce as well.
Having at least eight chapters is ambitious. I like seeing visual novel projects that seem offbeat, large in scope, or complex. That said, make sure that you're ready to handle a large project. Consider factors such as...

* How will you deal with perfectionism?
* How about boredom, or becoming frustrated with writing?
* Are you willing to use self imposed deadlines to keep the project on track?
* Are you routinely backing up your work in several places?

I say all of this because I don't want to see Taste the Grim Gaze go on indefinite hiatus or get cancelled.

You can start your story anywhere that you want, and begin the process of writing at any section that you want. That said, I have heard several times that it's a good idea to begin as close to plot-related events as possible. Here's one article on the topic. I believe you'll benefit by making sure that your story does not begin with things such as...

* A prologue or history lesson, especially if it doesn't contribute much to the plot.
* Dreams, philosophical thoughts, inner monologues, and the like.
* Too much dialogue, or too many descriptions of the world.
* The main character being inactive or disinterested.

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Re: Taste The Grim Gaze (Working Title) - Kinetic Novel?

#5 Post by kenkrath » Sun Jan 24, 2016 2:29 pm

Thanks for the resources. I'll definitely be taking a look at the audio discussion.

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Re: Taste The Grim Gaze (Working Title) - Kinetic Novel?

#6 Post by kenkrath » Wed Feb 10, 2016 1:11 am

I've updated the thread to include characters and a brief synopsis. I will add additional updates later.

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