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PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2016 4:47 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:37 pm
Posts: 109
Location: Italy
Completed: -SacrifiXi (BxB)-Beta-Love (BxB)-Ivan Berk Dress Up Game-Kiss the Cock (BxG)
Projects: -Death on Holiday (BxG)
Twitter: @Peste_Bubbonica
Tumblr: mtdg
Deviantart: M-T-D-G
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✞ Story Incipit:


When you're young, you think death will never reach you, even if you know that is out there...
Death...Something so abstract and ideal...
But then, one day, it's the one reaching you.
It starts from afar, hitting people you may never meet, but that you know live in this world.
Then it gets nearer, hitting circles closer and closer to you.
When you least expect it, it breaks your heart taking away somebody you really care for.
The mere circumstantial sorrow for the death of an unknown person morphs into pure despair, anger, sadness, frustration.
At that point, you take in serious acknowledgement death's existence.
It's always there, hidden behind every corner.
And that's when it becomes a phobia and you begin constantly being afraid it might strike again.
Strike on the people you love, even if they are still young and healthy.
It becomes an obsession ...


"Well, well...Look what we've got here! A new face!"
"You came here because you want to talk about...death, right?"
"Ahahah, don't stare at me like that and stop knocking on the wood. There's nothing to be scared of. Death is so beautiful and pleasant; it frees us from our state of imprisonment, whichever interpretation you want to give it."
"Is there something after death? Yes? No? And if yes, what?"
"...A-ah, no? You're not here to talk about death?"
"What? Girls? Love?..."
"Oh, I see...well, it's a slightly boring topic, don't you think? People always talk about it, they've been doing it since the dawn of time, and it was analyzed and deconstructed thousands times!"
"It's so foolish and simple that..."
"..."
"Wait, maybe you're not totally wrong...after all we often talk about love and death as two things linked by a deep bond."
"Dying for love...Loving so much you end up killing...unrequited love that pushes you to commit suicide..."
"I changed my mind. Talking about something different from death could be stimulating..."
"You convinced me."
"The girls are ready for you, I hope you'll like them."
"One of them...maybe more than one...could be Death itself. Will you find it?"
"In any case, even if you don't find it, just know it'll be the one finding you, fear not."
"Maybe, given the circumstances, I shouldn't say that but...Have fun."


✞ PLOT:
Albert is a 25 years old forever single boy living a NEET life, passing his days playing videogames in his room. During a cold December day, his mother, tired of having such an inconclusive son, decides to find him a job at a funeral home. There's not much the boy can do to escape his faith, so he rolls up his sleeves and start his miserable experience between ground and corpses but the funeral home and its employees are...strange. Besides, why did people suddenly stop dying?

✞ CHARACTERS:
note: the following illustrations are just sprite sketches. Since the story is at its early stages, bios may change slightly.

Image
πŸ’€Albert:
Our protagonist. He quitted university and stopped having a social life. He shares the same roof with his divorced and unemployed mother and they both live off the money his wealthy father sends them each month. Generally a good guy, but has his naughty moments in which imagination takes over. He's also a big eater.



Image
πŸ’€Miyako-romanceable:
Half japanese, half European, she's a mysterious girls who predicts the future in a local TV channel. She looks fragile and sickly and claims she's already dead and doesn't feel any pain. Is it really true?
She's very hard to meet since her aunt doesn't want her to leave home, but she has a personal blog where is possible to send her messages.



Image
πŸ’€Kumiko (real name is Morgana)-romanceable:
Daughter of Yellatore, she'll be your co-worker and will teach you the job. She claims to be older than what it looks, but refuses to tell her actual age. Takako looks too joking and happy for a person working everyday with dead bodies. Luckily her attitude helps lighting up the mood.



Image
πŸ’€Takako (real name:???)-romanceable:
A young widow who often visits the cemetery, to see the grave of her recently lost husband. Don't make her mad, because she won't be afraid to curse at you and treat you like dirt. It doesn't look like she wants to have any business with strangers....and what with the lips-shaped lollipop that always brings with her? Why does it change color?



Image
πŸ’€ Geymu Ovah -kinda...romanceable? Not really...:
A crazy girl (in the clinical meaning of the word) who lives behind the fences at the borders of the cemetery. She's always hungry and she'll take care of you during bad endings. You'll love her.



Image
πŸ’€Mom:
Albert's mom. She's never happy of her son and sometimes Albert wonders if she loves him at all. Although she easily complains about how useless Albert may be, she's not any better, passing her days gossiping with her friends, doing nothing else.



Image
πŸ’€Elek Ambrus:
Albert's neighbor. Generally an asshole. They both went to the same high-school and he used to bully him. Now he is a good looking and successful surgeon, happily married to a very charming woman. He never stopped bullying Albert.



Image
πŸ’€Yellatore:
Your employer, Takako's father and owner of the Last Supper, the funeral home you'll work in. He is a very...peculiar person. Obsessed with death and finds fun in it. He's not a bad person by any mean...maybe.



Image
πŸ’€Madame Star (real name:???):
Miyako's aunt, she reads the tarots on a local TV channel. She wants Miyako to be happy, but is also very protective. There's something...hidden.



Image
πŸ’€ ???:
A crow skull and a spine? Just what is this...?


[More secondary characters]


✞Notes:
The game is at its early stages , so I suggest you to read the topic and then forget about it because it'll require a lot of work and time not only to write and draw, but also to translate since I'm currently writing it in italian (but the game will come out only in english language).
The game features a classical visual novel style, with choices during dialogues to charm the romanceable characters. Geymu is not directly romanceable, but acting inappropriately around the other girls in various moments of the story will help you getting close to her.

Rating: 16+ (mostly for the very gory bad endings, plus some hints of sexual themes)
Genre: Romance, Paranormal, Slice of Life, Tragedy.
Current word count: 50.000 words of ??????? (Common route is done. Wrote four bad endings. Working on Kumiko's route).
Art asstes and gui: Just rough sprites art for now.
Music: Got all the tracks I could need. They are mostly gloomy.
Backgrounds: Still debating on it. I'm pointing toward the use of photographic backgrounds since I can't draw them and they'd be a lot, besides this would give me the possibility to draw more art assets, as CGs and sprite poses/different clothes.

✞THE GAME DOESN'T FEATURE GOOD ENDINGS✞

That's right. No good endings. Just bad endings and even worse endings.
This doesn't mean the story doesn't have its light and merry moment! It's not sad just for the sake of being sad.

✞ Some questions for you (you can skip the ones you don't feel like answering. They are merely suggestions):
1) What do you think about the project in general? Free to say whatever you want :)
2) Any favorite character? In case you don't want to write a reply just for that, here's a link to a poll http://strawpoll.me/6610567
3) Is there something in particoular you'd like to see in this visual novel?
4) Are photographic backgrounds a big letdown?
5) Should the protagonist be renamable?

Thanks for reading. I'll do my best. This visual novel is...very personal.


side note: in this story I often write about working at a funeral home but, in reality, I don't have a full knowledge about this matter and information on the internet is very scarce and things differ from country to country anyway, therefore I ask you to forgive me for any mistake or imprecision

_________________
mtdg.tumblr.com (nsfw)

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Last edited by M.T.D.G. on Mon Feb 08, 2016 4:52 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 11:24 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 29, 2004 1:38 pm
Posts: 2334
A few things that got my attention about this story:

* Even though I took a long break from boy x girl visual novels, I still enjoy them. In the recent past, I liked Toradora Portable, and in the last couple months, I've had a number of positive things to say about Harvest December.
* I like the character art so far.
* The protagonist's dilemma reminds me of some challenging experiences that I had. After college, I was employed but socially isolated. There were a few years when I spent too much time on video games and fan-made media, and not enough time talking with people in real life.

M.T.D.G. wrote:
✞THE GAME DOESN'T FEATURE GOOD ENDINGS✞

That's right. No good endings. Just bad endings and even worse endings.
This doesn't mean the story doesn't have its light and merry moment! It's not sad just for the sake of being sad.


I'm curious as to why you made this design choice. Are the lack of good endings a way to express a theme of your story? Would you describe it as a multiple ending tragedy? Do you plan to use your visual novel to say something, such as...

1. "The protagonist is self destructive and cannot move on." 2. "He will learn more by dying than living." 3. "There is nothing that a person can do to escape death. Accept it and persevere." 4. "The protag needs to take action so that the normal cycle of life and death can continue."


M.T.D.G. wrote:
2) Any favorite character?


Right now, it's Takako. She's had some life experiences. A heroine who is ready and willing express her opinions could be an interesting character. Also, I'm intrigued because there's a chance that she has a supernatural power or item.

M.T.D.G. wrote:
3) Is there something in particular you'd like to see in this visual novel?


I'm curious as to where the story will occur. Consider how to make the setting interesting and distinct.

M.T.D.G. wrote:
4) Are photographic backgrounds a big letdown?


The "$" sign in your subject line seems to suggest that you will sell this visual novel. *If* that's true, then think about how you will use art as one of your selling points. Make sure the drawings and backgrounds will appeal to people who might purchase the VN. If necessary, recruit reliable people in order to help you create additional art, or help you improve what you have already made.

If this will be a freeware visual novel, then don't worry about photographic backgrounds.

M.T.D.G. wrote:
5) Should the protagonist be renamable?


It appears that Albert has a history and a personality. Because of this, I don't think you will benefit by letting the reader change his name. I think that rename-able protagonists make the most sense if 1) the person is meant to be a stand-in for the reader, 2) the person is meant to be a generic character without interesting quirks or a detailed background, or 3) the person exists in a complex video game that emphasizes customization.

M.T.D.G. wrote:
This visual novel is...very personal.


Tell a story that you want to write. Create it in order to express your interests, beliefs, concerns, and so on.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 1:01 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:37 pm
Posts: 109
Location: Italy
Completed: -SacrifiXi (BxB)-Beta-Love (BxB)-Ivan Berk Dress Up Game-Kiss the Cock (BxG)
Projects: -Death on Holiday (BxG)
Twitter: @Peste_Bubbonica
Tumblr: mtdg
Deviantart: M-T-D-G
First of all, thanks for answering all of my questions :) I'll try to reply at the best of my english capabilities :-P

I got the idea for this visual novel around three years ago, out of nowhere. I love telling stories and I like to use unlikely settings or situations. This time I opted for a funeral home setting because I wanted to try to make it a funny place, which is the opposite in reality.

I couldn't work on this project before since I was busy with another visual novel but, in my head, I started building the general plot, the characters' stories and the world. Later, it became more and more personal because I had to face the loss of many people I loved, one after the other.
Sometimes, when I have to write about random funerals in Death On Holiday, I admit I end up crying myself, remembering my own experience.



gekiganwing wrote:
I'm curious as to why you made this design choice. Are the lack of good endings a way to express a theme of your story? Would you describe it as a multiple ending tragedy? Do you plan to use your visual novel to say something, such as...

1. "The protagonist is self destructive and cannot move on." 2. "He will learn more by dying than living." 3. "There is nothing that a person can do to escape death. Accept it and persevere." 4. "The protag needs to take action so that the normal cycle of life and death can continue."


With this game I wanted the protagonist to live death in different ways, both for himself and for Death's pleasure. He'll meet different characters with different visions of what's after life and he'll experience their death, as well as his own, in different ways (it'll depend by player's choices). In any case, everything is tied by romance.
And, yes, he'll have to take action so that the normal life/death cycle can continue, but you won't come across this "mission" unless you pursue a certain character, which is Death itself. But things are a little more complex



Quote:
I'm curious as to where the story will occur. Consider how to make the setting interesting and distinct.

When I write a story, I try not to give exact temporary or geographical indications for personal preferences. Sometimes I even mix countries (like, I could write that New York is in France) for the sake of inventing an abstract world. I'm using some Polish names here and there, but nothing more. I like my world to be abstract and timeless.

Quote:

The "$" sign in your subject line seems to suggest that you will sell this visual novel. *If* that's true, then think about how you will use art as one of your selling points. Make sure the drawings and backgrounds will appeal to people who might purchase the VN. If necessary, recruit reliable people in order to help you create additional art, or help you improve what you have already made.


Eh, you read right, the final product should be commercial but right now I don't have the funds to pay for a BG artist and I don't know if I will in the future. A crowdfunding campaign would help, but I'm afraid to screw something up. Anyway, it's still too soon to talk about it. I should finish writing the story first :) We'll see in the future, if I'm still alive :-P

Quote:
It appears that Albert has a history and a personality. Because of this, I don't think you will benefit by letting the reader change his name. I think that rename-able protagonists make the most sense if 1) the person is meant to be a stand-in for the reader, 2) the person is meant to be a generic character without interesting quirks or a detailed background, or 3) the person exists in a complex video game that emphasizes customization.


Thanks for sharing your opinion! I'm really in doubt about this matter. I know it could sound unimportant to some, but actually I can't sleep at night.

_________________
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 11:23 am 
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Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:37 pm
Posts: 109
Location: Italy
Completed: -SacrifiXi (BxB)-Beta-Love (BxB)-Ivan Berk Dress Up Game-Kiss the Cock (BxG)
Projects: -Death on Holiday (BxG)
Twitter: @Peste_Bubbonica
Tumblr: mtdg
Deviantart: M-T-D-G
Slow but steady, for now.
Wordcount is around 50000 words, the common route is complete (but needs to be edited since I keep changing small things here and there) along with 4 bad endings. Working on Kumiko's route, but I need to take a break from writing, therefore I worked a bit on the art as well.

Here, the sprites of the love interests (I'm trying to give a ghostly look to everyone for a stylistic choice. It's more evident against a dark background)

Image

I'd like to draw more than one pose at least for the characters who will show up the most, so this is only the first bunch.

In the meanwhile I decided the the game resolution will be 1920 x 1080

EDIT: Here's also the sprite for the protagonist

Image

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 6:20 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:37 pm
Posts: 109
Location: Italy
Completed: -SacrifiXi (BxB)-Beta-Love (BxB)-Ivan Berk Dress Up Game-Kiss the Cock (BxG)
Projects: -Death on Holiday (BxG)
Twitter: @Peste_Bubbonica
Tumblr: mtdg
Deviantart: M-T-D-G
Progresses aren't big but I'll share them anyway since, well, I love when somebody posts new art about their game and I though you may like it as well :-P

New sprites were polished, colored and complete!
Image

the sprite for Madame Star was just colored, but no shading has been applied yet. The one for Elek is only a clean line art for now.

Also, planning a bit the general style of the GUI. The most important characters will have their own textbox and ctc icon (I'll maybe share them after they're fully complete).

aaand, here's the sketch for the main menu (when ground/idle). Each character is a hotspot.
Image


Phew, this is going to be a lot of work. Well, we aren't in a hurry, are we? :wink:

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