of all there is [BxB...?][Fantasy][Demo out!]

[Ghost of Crux]

So I've been intending to release the demo today, but alas-- this background took far a few hours longer than it should've. Now I have about 4 extra sprites to draw, with facial differences. I'm hoping to be able to knock them out real soon, but I swear it won't extend beyond this week.

[Ghost of Crux]

Anyone who even sees my tumblr will know that I've been wasting my time creating a Hatoful Botfriend VN instead of working on this, but in between that and sleeping a lot, I've managed to do... a bit of work? Whoops.
(Seriously. It's not even 10 pm and I've been sleepy for two hours.)

So, instead of the demo that I should've released a week ago, here's a screenshot.

[Ghost of Crux]

Will I ever actually finish the sprites needed? Probably. Hopefully.
(Things have been semi-horrible to my mental health lately. //spreads sparkles//)

[Ghost of Crux]

Finished the sprites for the demo AND assembled a functional gallery! :'D
I have been productive, I suppose. But it'd be maybe a few days to a few weeks until I post the demo-- my friend ends up wanting to make the music and I don't want to push, especially considering that she's doing it without me actually asking and her music makes me happy :'D

IN ANY CASE... anyone who wants to be a proofreader/beta/general poke fun at everything can contact me?

[Ghost of Crux]

Download

Dropbox | Mediafire
Tumblr post here.

Feedback questions:

1. What do you think of the characters? Did you get at least an image of their personalities?
2. Is the world building enough, too much, or too little? Is it too confusing?
3. Any input on the assets usage front, ie. whether the art or music fits, or whether the dialogue makes sense?
4. Suggestions for the finer details, ie. fonts or small things like hover icons? (I can add a dyslexia-friendly font for the final version)
5. Or maybe you’d like to be a beta-tester for the final version? :’D

This probably took far too long to finish, but I'm happy that I got this far! I'm very bad at project management, usually, and often burn myself out before I can even get something working finished. With this demo actually out, I finally feel like I have hope of seeing this through to the end.
I hope it's at least enjoyable!

[ChillTaco]

The stylish pixel is kinda pretty. Lovin it.

[Ghost of Crux]

Thank you! :'D
I'm kinda loving it as well. I don't end up wasting half my life on the sprites :'D;;;;;

[Heiden]

I just finished playing your demo!

I liked your art and the music choices were really great. The aesthetic of the game is really pretty and has this soft sadness to it. Very nice!

I did feel like I wish there was a little more world building in the beginning so I could better understand who these characters were, their relationship to each other, and what it meant that these things were happening. I could elaborate, if you were okay with that.


But anyway, lovely demo, with great atmosphere. Can't wait to see how it all turns out!

[Ghost of Crux]

I just finished playing your demo! :D

I liked your art and the music choices were really great. The aesthetic of the game is really pretty and has this soft sadness to it. Very nice!

I did feel like I wish there was a little more world building in the beginning so I could better understand who these characters were, their relationship to each other, and what it meant that these things were happening. I could elaborate, if you were okay with that.


But anyway, lovely demo, with great atmosphere. Can't wait to see how it all turns out! :D

Hi, and thank you for trying it :'DD

Thank you, I'm glad that part worked out!

And yeah, I do plan on expanding that! Now that I think about it, it might have been a bit confusing because the idea of speaking the words of other creatures might not seem so bad-- it's honestly "bad" because humans don't live in the rigid, resigned hierarchical structure the skyfolk do, and putting ideas into skyfolk's head that they can do the same could probably topple the balance of the expanse. Probably should clarify it!
Elaboration on the rest would be really appreciated, though! :'D I'm planning on tweaking the narration of this demo until it's clear because I really need the first parts to be strong enough so that people don't get too confused. So elaboration would be really, really helpful!

Thank you!

[MoonByte]

Finished the demo and first off: your game is gorgeous!
I really enjoyed it, the music is pretty as well.

1. What do you think of the characters? Did you get at least an image of their personalities?
I guess, I did. Crab escapes me a little, but I think the others were conveyed well enough (though I am not 100% sure I got Coals motivations for tagging along, because he doesn't seem to be the curious type).
Funnily enough, I am not sure, who the Main Character is (or if there even is one). At first I thought it was Seth, then the Emissary. By the end I had no idea anymore :'D

2. Is the world building enough, too much, or too little? Is it too confusing?
The beginning confused me. It took me until the words Nebula and Comet were used to understand WHAT the characters were. And since I am no english mothertongue and thus a few words escaped my knowledge, I am not 120% sure, I understood everything, but I got the gist. The only thing I don't get is the difference between the Scorpio and the Milky Way. The Milky Way is the kingdom and the Scorpios are explained as ruling others. So are the Scorpios the "kings/queens" of the Milky Way?

3. Any input on the assets usage front, ie. whether the art or music fits, or whether the dialogue makes sense?
I think, everything works out well. My only suggestion would be that at very rare instances, you change music too fast. The song barely starts, just to switch to a different song. Maybe I am just reading too fast, but it had felt a bit irritating. Also, the comedy music at the beginning at first made me expect a game with more comedy relief. Not sure, if you wanted that association or not?

4. Suggestions for the finer details, ie. fonts or small things like hover icons? (I can add a dyslexia-friendly font for the final version)
I think, the size is appropiate. Since it is a very bold pixel font, it is well readable as well, so it works out fine in my opinion.

5. Or maybe you’d like to be a beta-tester for the final version? :’D
I would definitely love to, that story got me intrigued xD
Though I might be bad, if it's about checking grammar or stuff, because - even though I pride myself on my high english skills for someone who learned it quite late - this english is definitely a bit too high for me to control it <_<

[Ghost of Crux]

Aah, thank you so much for taking the time to type up all this! :'DDD

Characters
Hmm that's what I got from another review as well (Crab being rather vague), but I suppose I'm not quite as concerned so long as Crab's general demeanor comes across well enough, if not his personality? (ie. his new attitude is a huge departure from what he was) His "purpose" in the narrative is mostly kind of for world-building purposes, because, well. Supernovae happens. As for Coalsack, he's asking less because he's naturally curious but he's also barely formed (still mostly clumps of dust) star and doesn't really understand what the heck is up with Crab. The fact that Crab changed personality that drastically is bugging him a lot because it doesn't seem to fit his relatively narrow field of "examples" of how stars are, basically. (I'll try to poke the writing around and see if I can make this clearer, but he's not really a key character in terms of motivations so I wouldn't be losing too much if I didn't get to that point xd;;)

The main characters are basically Seth and the Emissary, pretty much xD Both, at once.

Clarity
HMMM that's a bit more dire, but did the fact that their true identities were "revealed" then make things clearer?

As for the Scorpio and the Milky Way thing-- the VN's setting is the universe on a macroscopic scale, basically, so the Milky Way is indeed the kingdom, and the Scorpio are just a collection of stars within it, sort of like a group. They're basically like gangs? Hunts others for breaking laws of nature because that's just what they thought they should do it. They're not exactly "ruling" anyone, but they can terrorize others and have had a history of doing so. (You'll eventually meet Shaula aka Lambda Scorpii in the third act, and the details will come out, I think)

Asset Usage
That piece of music actually has been bothering me and a friend who focused most on the music usage front as well, but I haven't gone around checking more sites for music so xD
I'll definitely change it, though! But so far I've tried multiple songs and that one is the best-- so far. But it will definitely be changed.

Which parts do you think changes music too fast? :'o I got this feedback for the beta-demo too, for the scene in the beginning, but I cut down the amount of different pieces (ie. the number of changing of tracks) so it would be great if you can let me know which part got a bit irritating! I myself tend to read quite fast, but after replaying and rereading it so often I just didn't pay much attention to what's actually on screen |D

Beta Testing
Ah! What I'm really looking for is a beta who would be able to point out to me instances where, for example, things just went too fast and too vague or if something is confusing and is never elaborated upon. Pointing out about what you thought the Scorpio and the Milky Way are is one example-- I need to know what parts people might get confused at so I can fix is and hopefully reduce the potential confusion and misunderstandings. You've pointed out quite a number of things that I'll have to check and tweak, so I'd love to have you as a beta! :'DDD

Again, thanks!

[Ghost of Crux]

Also sorry for double posting but I think it's important enough to warrant it:

Is anyone downloading the demo seeing loadable save files? I deleted everything off the saves folder and deleted persistent before building distributions, but for some reason I always unzip something that has a couple of saves-- loadable-- and all the unlockable gallery items already unlocked. This persisted even after I deleted the saves in my renpy project folder and opened the vn just a few seconds later.

Until I find answers, I'll be taking down the Mediafire downloads. I'll be leaving the renewed Dropbox links up, though. (For the record, I just updated Renpy to the newest version because I was playing around with the yes no screen and thought there was a problem solvable by using the confirm screen instead, if that may be of any use?)

Sorry for the inconvenience!

[MoonByte]

(ie. his new attitude is a huge departure from what he was)

I got that, no worries. I just in general didn't exactly get how he was NOW other than apparently being sociable and previously being cruel and possibly violent.[/quote]

HMMM that's a bit more dire, but did the fact that their true identities were "revealed" then make things clearer?

Yes, though it still took me actually a bit to fully get what Seth was. I mean, sure, the very beginning explains that Seth is a Pulsar and that the Emissary is a comet, but I think I somehow...didn't really get that it was meant literal?
I actually though they were metaphors or something.
I only fully understood who and what the Emissary was when he and Coal were watching Seth talk about the Night since Nebula is pretty much a giveaway AND because it is again mentioned about how little time the Emissary has, but Seth took me until they were in the forest with Coal (my first choice was walking instead of flying) and thus reading about the various hints of Emissary about Seth being hot and old and being able to live a LOT longer and stuff. Though it still helped when it was pretty much stated what he was later in that conversation because I wasn't exactly sure I had gotten him right nonetheless :'D

They're basically like gangs? Hunts others for breaking laws of nature because that's just what they thought they should do it.

Hm, then maybe make any character at least hint towards them being rogues or something? I honestly thought at one point they might royals, especially with Veil who collects the roots actually serving one. I literally thought, Scorpios are the closest to nobility in that game as it can get xD
But maybe I just misunderstood a word or two, as said, not a native speaker.

Which parts do you think changes music too fast?

1)
When the group walks with Coal through the forest and talk about Lambda. (You have a piano pieace during that section and then it switches to another one after ~8 textboxes which feels quite fast)
2)
When Seth and the Emissary start to fly. Emissary thinks about the night for ~4 textboxes, just for the music to suddenly change again.
3)
When the group talks about Xe and Xyr. It's again 3 or 4 boxes of music before the change.

so I'd love to have you as a beta! :'DDD

Then I would be pleased to help
Just send me a PM, if you need me

[Ghost of Crux]

On Crab
Giant implosions at that scale changes a star, so to speak xD
I just realised that it might require a bit of background knowledge on some astronomical subjects. I really should put in some more info on him prior, now-- I seriously didn't realise this until now xD
(Simply put, the Crab Nebula supernova was one of the most well-known ones and it happened in 1054 and the story is set roughly our century. Seth has been going round the Expanse for quite a while and hadn't known that some of his old acquaintances went through some drastic changes. The subject of supernova isn't talked about yet in the script so far and TBH I have no idea when it WILL be a focal point of discussion, but I think I'll have it talked about somewhere. A more thorough understanding on the world around him is actually a crucial element to achieving one of the endings, so I hope it'll get clearer in act 2, if not act 3!

Clarity
Ah! Yes, it's quite literal xD
Someone else suggested having some sort of glossary built to the game and I'm sort of contemplating it. Perhaps details on what each of them are, just to drive home the point that they are literal celestial bodies?
It's sort of an inside joke for me that Seth is the sort that draws others in when he talks-- he's a magnetar.
I'll try to implement the idea and see if it works, but then people should probably expect not to see me for a while because I am Horrible with making sense of cookbooks and documentations xD

On the Scorpio
I think I've been really vague with Veil's dialogue, since another person seems to think that the Scorpio are one single entity and now a royalty, but Veil is basically just a trinket artisan who'd make you things if you pay her xD Lambda Scorpii is just a client to her-- albeit a scary client who previously was known to just go on an attacking spree. All of the stars within the Scorpio were known to be a bit on the... gleeful rage spree side.

I'll definitely be rewriting that part of the script, then!

Music Change
Thank you! :'DD
This info is incredibly valuable for me. Time to get the music under control D<

Thank you! I will do so u v u

[Ghost of Crux]

//sweats

Posting this because I might need help if I don't want to end up trying to code for like a solid year or something.
If someone can code and would be willing to help me out, I would really appreciate it if someone can either guide me to or help make a glossary/dictionary menu! Or, if such a code already exists in the forum, to be directed to it. I mean, I would probably succeed some day in the far future should I try to make it or something, but yeah.

Thanks!