First off, let me just say that the art in this game, especially the sprites, are absolutely gorgeous! I really enjoyed the clothing style as well!
Narration: Is there too much text? Is it too boring? Is there too much description and too little progress? Is the prose too snobbish or wordy?
I don't think there was too much narration at all, in fact, I think if it had less I wouldn't be as invested in the story. There was a few grammar problems here and there, but I could still easily understand and still keep an interest in the story through most of the demo as well, though it might have had a few slower parts here and there.Also, a few of the MC's monologues were a little hard to understand for me at first (the bit with the dimensions was a bit confusing but after reading it a few times I got the gist).
Character development: Which character lacked development? Was it the maid? Was it the teacher Lucy? Where do you think their characters could have been developed better?
I think the character with the least development was probably the maid, just for the fact that she rarely appeared in the demo, and when she did, she didn't have very many lines. Maybe at one point she could have had a more detailed conversation with mc, like just for an example, when the maid brought her her meal and the two were alone together for a little while. That's just a suggestion though!
GUI: Did the text cover the backgrounds or the characters? What font color or color scheme would you prefer?
At a few points, the text did cover a good bit of the background as well as the characters, but the font was light enough that I could still see the majority of the scene, so I'd say it's pretty much fine the way it is.
Extra Comments: All in all, this game was pretty interesting to play!
The bit with the dolls managed to creep me out irl, so good job on that! It was really well written and I was genuinely affected by it lol.
The art style's gorgeous, and the story is intriguing and still very mysterious. Can't wait to see where it goes! Good work!