Moe Wars [+16] [Action, Drama, Mature Comedy, War]

[darkrchaos]

I finally finished the rough draft of my visual novel, and I was hoping that everyone would help me make it better. Tell me about spelling errors, grammar errors, plot holes, I want to know everything. If you think a line should be written better, or even if you have an idea for a scene that should be added, please tell me. If you help me make the visual novel better, by finding mistakes or adding suggesting, I will add your name to the credits. I'm mainly concerned about plot holes and making sure the entire story makes sense, since that's one thing that hard for me to do since I already know everything.

I would strongly like to note that this rough draft does NOT contain the character development episodes, which aren't required for understanding the characters or the story, but they do help you understand the characters a little bit more. I have them done, but I want to re-write them to make them better.

Inside the folder you may notice a TXT document labeled, EXTRA INFO. It contains information and questions on the things that happened in the story that are not explained. I plan on adding this to the visual novel later as an unlockable "Ask Rika" mode. Please don't read it until after you read the visual novel, it contains spoilers.

Summary: Devil Corp is holding a set of sexy tournaments to show off their newest armor, REN. When equipped, a user can spawn weapons, change clothes, and even defy death itself. But not everyone in the universe is happy with Devil Corp's newest product. Highvote, a nation with an extreme democracy, has voted to end everyone's fun. To make things worse, Nicole is going berserk, and there doesn't seem to be any way to stop her. Could she have found a glitch in the armor's programming, or could there be something bigger going on? Either way, the REN users aren't just going to sit around and have their freedom taken away without a fight.
Word Count: 65,000~

This visual novel is rated +16
Please do not read this visual novel if you are under the age of 16.

This visual novel contains

- Blood and Gore
- Censored Nipples
- Intense Violence
- Mature Humor
- Partial Nudity
- Sexual Violence
- Strong Language
- Strong Sexual Comedy
- Use of Alcohol

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/download/ukj76 ... .1-all.zip

Sorry for this list of screenshots but the spoiler tag isn't working for some reason.