Parallel Percent [Old/Defunct/Dead]

[SLASH-7]

If you've ended up here from a google search, this version of the project is antiquated and no longer in development. Thank you for your interest, and follow our socials for our current projects!

“An alliance which protects all of existence is at risk. It's her fault, and it was no accident.”

A Sci-Fi Visual Novel by RK5

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Pockets of mankind freely traverse the multiverse, and worlds which never should have met have begun to clash. An unprecedented era of destruction had begun, and a coalition spanning far across the multiverse would be formed to combat it. The sanctity of the multiverse is paramount, and anyone who would interfere with the natural order would face destruction by their hand.

But when Yaz Pierce, a revered zealot of this Coalition, finds herself in a position which puts the lives of the many over the core ideals which she is to enforce; a truth becomes apparent to her.

“It was by luck that my beliefs and my duty had never crossed until now. But if the Coalition decides to see itself exempt from its laws, I will without hesitation be their wake-up call.”

Credit:

• Character designs and sprites: Collateral Damage Studios
• Character art and extra: Sage
• Background art: Dao
• Composer: Ryunocore
• Game logo and GUI: Auro-Cyanide
• RK5 logo: TheRyDesigns
• Engine: Ren'Py
• Writing and project lead: S7

Discussion:

• What are your first impressions of the project?
• Does the premise intrigue you?
• Do you have an opinion on multiple heroes as oppose to one true protagonist?
• If you had the ability to save only one of the core four above, who would it be?

Closing:

Thank you for taking an interest in my project, it means a lot. I've been writing, planning, and dreaming about Parallel Percent for a few years now. I've made it my mission to introduce you to characters you will never forget, and I'm leaving it up to them to take you on an adventure you will wish to never end.

[Zelan]

What are your first impressions of the project?: It's extremely ambitious and looks very interesting (I love sci-fi; it's one of my favorite genres, second only to fantasy).
Does the premise intrigue you?: Yes, although I'm not quite sure that I completely understand the concept. Multiple universes are one of these things where I can't wrap my brain around it if I think too long. :/ As long as there's not too much technical talk, though, I'll still be able to enjoy the story.
Do you have an opinion on multiple heroes as oppose to one true protagonist?: I love the idea! I've been on the fence about having multiple points-of-view in my own project (although only one character would be the true protagonist), so seeing someone else do it would be helpful in figuring out how I want to execute it myself. ^_^
If you had the ability to save only one of the core four above, who would it be?: Jeff. I've got a soft spot for kind people in unkind worlds. plus he looks kinda like the tenth doctor

[SLASH-7]

What are your first impressions of the project?: It's extremely ambitious and looks very interesting (I love sci-fi; it's one of my favorite genres, second only to fantasy).
Does the premise intrigue you?: Yes, although I'm not quite sure that I completely understand the concept. Multiple universes are one of these things where I can't wrap my brain around it if I think too long. :/ As long as there's not too much technical talk, though, I'll still be able to enjoy the story.

I'm glad it appeals to you! The technical talk is fairly minimal, but in a multiverse, anything is possible. So with that being said, the story does explore many concepts which are just theories for us as if they were concrete truths in other worlds. A few of these concepts will be paramount to the story, but I've been careful with my pseudoscience and general drivel. My ex-boss is actually a theoretical physicist and his rants continuously come to mind as I write something with no scientific backbone. I'm certain that it isn't too confusing to be detrimental, however.

Do you have an opinion on multiple heroes as oppose to one true protagonist?: I love the idea! I've been on the fence about having multiple points-of-view in my own project (although only one character would be the true protagonist), so seeing someone else do it would be helpful in figuring out how I want to execute it myself. ^_^

That's great to hear, one thing I've been very careful about is the amount of focus each character gets. Each of the core four has their individual hurdles to overcome, their past to worry about, and their future to fight for. It'll be up to you how they handle it.

If you had the ability to save only one of the core four above, who would it be?: Jeff. I've got a soft spot for kind people in unkind worlds. plus he looks kinda like the tenth doctor

I actually do see the resemblance. I've been meaning to get around watching Doctor Who, I've heard it explores some interesting concepts.

[dimali]

What are your first impressions of the project?

It looks like a most enjoyable VN with good ideas. However, I'm rather curious how the story's gonna turn out since only vague information is revealed. I think those concepts when you alter the world too much (or turn the universe into a multiverse) are easily overdone, hope you are careful with it.

Does the premise intrigue you?

Indeed it does, I'm really looking forward to play this some time! My tip would be to make it easier to read, or maybe I'm just too tired.

Do you have an opinion on multiple heroes as oppose to one true protagonist?

I haven't played a VN with multiple heroes (and don't know one) yet, but I imagine it to be very fitting for a setting like this. Great idea.

If you had the ability to save only one of the core four above, who would it be?

I think I like Meyer the most, but I would rather save someone younger than him xD No idea really.

[SLASH-7]

What are your first impressions of the project?

It looks like a most enjoyable VN with good ideas. However, I'm rather curious how the story's gonna turn out since only vague information is revealed.

Thank you, if all continues as planned I will release the demo sometime in September. I've always been on the fence with how much information to share, I feel like a lot I'd like to say about the story would be better learned first hand. With the demo not being all that far away I'll be looking for feedback pertaining to that.

09/24 Edit: All did not go as planned, that's what I get for giving a date.

I think those concepts when you alter the world too much (or turn the universe into a multiverse) are easily overdone, hope you are careful with it.

I do agree with you, I've spent special attention to keeping things from becoming too convoluted.

Does the premise intrigue you?

Indeed it does, I'm really looking forward to play this some time! My tip would be to make it easier to read, or maybe I'm just too tired.

I'll see what I can change to ease things up, thanks.

If you had the ability to save only one of the core four above, who would it be?

I think I like Meyer the most, but I would rather save someone younger than him xD No idea really.

That almost sounds like an answer he would give.

[RedOwl]

Hey S7! RedOwl from discord here. I was excited to find your project here - it is very intriguing to me. And I adore the art style. Very clean and appealing! Also, *high five* for sci-fi protagonist gals with purple hair and cropped bangs.

What are your first impressions of the project?
Not gonna lie, I scrolled down to look at the art first (which most consumers will do anyways). Nice job - looking really cool. The story description is vaguely interesting to me as I'm generally interested in sci-fi themes and parallel world theories and philosophical stuff, but honestly, it really doesn't grab me. It's quite wordy, not super concise, and somewhat vague. it needs specifics - visceral, relatable things to ground me in the concrete, to really draw me in. "Entire races being rendered extinct in days" sounds intense, but it's too big for me to connect with - what does it mean for an entire race to go extinct in a few days? What are the effects? You could draw me in so much better with specifics here.

I think the basic issue with the description is that you are doing a lot of "telling" and not much "showing" - you are telling me, this involves "me, you, and everyone you know and love" - but not showing me how so.

I'd definitely recommend re-writing your description to be more concise, more attention-grabbing, and more immediate. The grand theories are great for worlbuilding, and they're definitely something you want to mention upfront, but they're not going to "hook" me into getting interested in the project.

Does the premise intrigue you?
Yes, but not nearly as much as it would if I knew what these characters will be facing in their everyday lives - what are the challenges they will need to deal with? What are the specific issues they will face? What do the DO, exactly? I understand if you want some things to be kept surprising - but you need to give some reason for a potential reader to care enough to purchase or download the game.

Do you have an opinion on multiple heroes as oppose to one true protagonist?
I think that's perfectly fine. My own VN features two protagonists. As long as they are great characters that are well-developed, the number of heroes is irrelevant.

If you had the ability to save only one of the core four above, who would it be?
I'm really not sure - the character descriptions don't do a lot for me (see my "other thoughts", below) - so I really couldn't say, until I learn more about them.

I've been writing, planning and dreaming about Parallel Percent for a few years now. I've made it my mission to introduce you to characters you will never forget, and I'm leaving it up to them to take you on an adventure you will wish to never end.
Sounds good, I like your goals! Very admirable.

Other thoughts:
If I were you, I would go through the character cards, and distill the text down to the core points of what makes the character tick - what are their main conflicts/challenges? Why should we, the reader, care about them? It is useful to be able to express this in as few words as possible. You want to be able to use your story description and character descriptions to draw potential readers/players in as quickly as possible. People do not have long attention spans when deciding whether to "consume" a game or visual novel. You want to hook them as fast as you can, not make them wade through tons of backstory, flashbacks, vague history, and hypothetical situations. All that is great to reveal later in the story - but, why should we care about them NOW? That's what will get people interested.

I think the game has a ton of potential, and I really look forward to seeing where it goes from here. Good luck with development!

[SLASH-7]

Hey RedOwl, thank you very much for taking the time to provide such in-depth feedback. I've wanted fix up my thread for a while now, but it had been far at the back of my mind. I really do appreciate it.

What are your first impressions of the project?
Not gonna lie, I scrolled down to look at the art first (which most consumers will do anyways). Nice job - looking really cool. The story description is vaguely interesting to me as I'm generally interested in sci-fi themes and parallel world theories and philosophical stuff, but honestly, it really doesn't grab me. It's quite wordy, not super concise, and somewhat vague. it needs specifics - visceral, relatable things to ground me in the concrete, to really draw me in. "Entire races being rendered extinct in days" sounds intense, but it's too big for me to connect with - what does it mean for an entire race to go extinct in a few days? What are the effects? You could draw me in so much better with specifics here.

I think the basic issue with the description is that you are doing a lot of "telling" and not much "showing" - you are telling me, this involves "me, you, and everyone you know and love" - but not showing me how so.

I'd definitely recommend re-writing your description to be more concise, more attention-grabbing, and more immediate. The grand theories are great for worldbuilding, and they're definitely something you want to mention upfront, but they're not going to "hook" me into getting interested in the project.

Does the premise intrigue you?
Yes, but not nearly as much as it would if I knew what these characters will be facing in their everyday lives - what are the challenges they will need to deal with? What are the specific issues they will face? What do the DO, exactly? I understand if you want some things to be kept surprising - but you need to give some reason for a potential reader to care enough to purchase or download the game.

It's very nice to hear that the art is doing its job well, but I've certainly failed my duty if someone who is interested in the genre doesn't find the story all that interesting. I've viewed quite a few threads since I saw your comment (yours included) and can certainly see what you mean and where my weakness stems form. I believe my fear of giving away too much attributed to the way I went about the thread originally, but I can see now that this was quite irrational and potentially damaging. I will be rewriting the description with all of your feedback in mind.

Other thoughts:
If I were you, I would go through the character cards, and distill the text down to the core points of what makes the character tick - what are their main conflicts/challenges? Why should we, the reader, care about them? It is useful to be able to express this in as few words as possible. You want to be able to use your story description and character descriptions to draw potential readers/players in as quickly as possible. People do not have long attention spans when deciding whether to "consume" a game or visual novel. You want to hook them as fast as you can, not make them wade through tons of backstory, flashbacks, vague history, and hypothetical situations. All that is great to reveal later in the story - but, why should we care about them NOW? That's what will get people interested.

I think the game has a ton of potential, and I really look forward to seeing where it goes from here. Good luck with development!

That all makes a lot of sense. I've personally had the thought that they would just be walls of text to anyone who didn't care for the project, but haven't really felt the incentive to rewrite them until now.

Thank you very much for your kind and critical words. I'm glad you can see some potential through what the thread currently consists of, I hope to be able to make something of that potential.

[MOGG]

looking at one of your BGs i remember one photo)

[RedOwl]

Hey RedOwl, thank you very much for taking the time to provide such in-depth feedback. I've wanted fix up my thread for a while now, but it had been far at the back of my mind.

No problem! I know exactly how easy it is to get caught up in the project you are creating and neglect the process of sharing it with the rest of the world. Don't be afraid to ask #devtalk for feedback on your descriptions as well - they helped us formulate a much more effective "log line" (1-2 sentence hook) than we had originally.

[Sonomi]

What are your first impressions of the project?

The first sentence drew me in. I enjoy reading about multiverses, so my first impression is that this will be an interesting VN.

Does the premise intrigue you?

Absolutely! I'm curious to see how your story will work out. If you have to use jargon and theories (which I love to see), feel free to explain them in the story so readers won't have to go look things up on Google. Maybe it's just me...but this is what I like the most about Sci-Fi.

Do you have an opinion on multiple heroes as oppose to one true protagonist?

I wouldn't mind, as long as they all have equal focus.

If you had the ability to save only one of the core four above, who would it be?

Yaz? I have a serious weakness for characters with her personality: highly motivated, assertive, calm and collected. Can't get enough.

Please keep up the good work! I want to play this. And the art is very nice, by the way.

[Tharsis]

I like Sci-Fi. I'll wait for the finished novel.

[ssero]

Hi SLASH-7

I felt the same as RedOwl when reading your project description, so the feedback is quite similar.

I really liked the tags ( [Anti-Hero/Sci-Fi/Drama] ), but when reading through your story/characters I didn't have enough bits to connect to each other, there was not enough flow and concrete bits which helped me guide through your description.

I'm new to visual novels so please take my feedback with a grain of salt

- The introduction is too big and vague to hook me. The universe/backstory can be as big and elaborate as you want but in the introduction I ideally should get an idea how the story in the game unfolds or what it would feel to play the actual game. Currently I don't really have an idea. Is it a detective's story? Because you write about investigations. If that's the case I want more information about the case/investigation/characters than informations about the world behind it.
- If the multiverse-concept is part of your gameplay it would be helpful to read about it and how your choices in the game would influence the storyline/world.
- The character descriptions don't build nicely upon themselves. If you read from top to bottom you reference stuff/characters I don't know yet. So ideally write it in a way that every description is self-contained or write it in a way that it build upon itself and you learn more and more.
- Also the characters are not explained enough for me. For this game to find out if I like them or not it's more important for me to know how they think and how they relate to others and the world. Their backstory might be interesting but that's not the reason why I want to play with them.

This feedback is more about your thread/description and not about the game. So more about that below:

- What are your first impressions of the project?
I came for the story, and stayed for the art. I really love the artwork of the project. But after reading the description I'm not much wiser than before. I'd probably play the game because of the setting/art, but I not because I already know I would like the game/story -> not enough information yet.

- Does the premise intrigue you?
Not enough premise given and the characters are not enough concrete to relate to them yet. The setting is cool, tho, and seeing how much thought and time you spent on it I'm pretty sure I would like it.

- Do you have an opinion on multiple heroes as oppose to one true protagonist?
Do you mean in terms of "point of view" and "player"? Like, I can play the story as Meyer, Yaz, Jeff or Mary? Then I have no problems with it as long it's a separate "Path" or "Playthrough". But if you suddenly show me the point-of-view of a different character when I play the VN then in my experience I wouldn't like that.
If you simply mean no single person is the hero and everyone is as important as the other ones - yes, please, go this route

- If you had the ability to save only one of the core four above, who would it be?
Yaz Pierce, definitely.
I'm sorry. Actually, I can't relate to the other characters that much, they seem too generic to me. I like the past of Yaz, here characteristics and the name is pretty cool too ^^


I'm looking forward to your updated descriptions as it seems like you want to tell something really interesting. I just need more concrete bits to be hooked more.

I hope this feedback helps a bit.

[SLASH-7]

Sorry for not getting back to everyone, life took an interesting turn and I neglected updating the information until now. Also apologies in advance, I am attempting this response via mobile and will likely butcher the english language at some point.

What are your first impressions of the project?

The first sentence drew me in. I enjoy reading about multiverses, so my first impression is that this will be an interesting VN.

I'm very glad to hear that! It's a concept I've done substantial research into, I'll make sure to not let you down.

Does the premise intrigue you?

Absolutely! I'm curious to see how your story will work out. If you have to use jargon and theories (which I love to see), feel free to explain them in the story so readers won't have to go look things up on Google. Maybe it's just me...but this is what I like the about Sci-Fi.

I believe I've gone a bit easy on the jargon, but theories are an absolute. All are explored in a way that assumes little to no knowledge of theoretical physics and in a way that works with the flow of the story.

Do you have an opinion on multiple heroes as oppose to one true protagonist?

I wouldn't mind, as long as they all have equal focus.

Yup. All four have equal focus, the story is told via each perspective as different events unfold. The main appeal to write it this way was to give more weight to choices. Your knowledge of connected events may help get your perspective character out of their current bind, but hinder everyone elses plans.

If you had the ability to save only one of the core four above, who would it be?

Yaz? I have a serious weakness for characters with her personality: highly motivated, assertive, calm and collected. Can't get enough.

Please keep up the good work! I want to play this. And the art is very nice, by the way.

Thank you very much the kind words! I hope you like the new art I've posted today!

I like Sci-Fi. I'll wait for the finished novel.

Glad to hear! Thanks for the support.

I really liked the tags ( [Anti-Hero/Sci-Fi/Drama] ), but when reading through your story/characters I didn't have enough bits to connect to each other, there was not enough flow and concrete bits which helped me guide through your description.

- The introduction is too big and vague to hook me. The universe/backstory can be as big and elaborate as you want but in the introduction I ideally should get an idea how the story in the game unfolds or what it would feel to play the actual game.

I agree, I kept information a little too guarded. I believe my newest update fixes the problem of not relating to the tags, as prior I was very stuck on the theme rather than conflict. Less words, more information is what I'm now trying to accomplish.

- If the multiverse-concept is part of your gameplay it would be helpful to read about it and how your choices in the game would influence the storyline/world.

I don't think I am capable of divulging anything regarding without spoilers. I'll think on this though.

- The character descriptions don't build nicely upon themselves. If you read from top to bottom you reference stuff/characters I don't know yet. So ideally write it in a way that every description is self-contained or write it in a way that it build upon itself and you learn more and more.
- Also the characters are not explained enough for me. For this game to find out if I like them or not it's more important for me to know how they think and how they relate to others and the world. Their backstory might be interesting but that's not the reason why I want to play with them.

Yeah, I took a pretty bad approach with my character descriptions. My enthusiasm for my characters blinded me to how it would appear to others.

What are your first impressions of the project?
I came for the story, and stayed for the art. I really love the artwork of the project. But after reading the description I'm not much wiser than before. I'd probably play the game because of the setting/art, but I not because I already know I would like the game/story -> not enough information yet.

- Does the premise intrigue you?
Not enough premise given and the characters are not enough concrete to relate to them yet. The setting is cool, tho, and seeing how much thought and time you spent on it I'm pretty sure I would like it.

I hope the new story write up/logline is a step in the right direction. I'm glad to hear you like the art, and would love to hear your opinion on the new character art.

- Do you have an opinion on multiple heroes as oppose to one true protagonist?
Do you mean in terms of "point of view" and "player"? Like, I can play the story as Meyer, Yaz, Jeff or Mary? Then I have no problems with it as long it's a separate "Path" or "Playthrough". But if you suddenly show me the point-of-view of a different character when I play the VN then in my experience I wouldn't like that.
If you simply mean no single person is the hero and everyone is as important as the other ones - yes, please, go this route

I do unfortunately mean a full perspective switch between those four. I hope that isn't too much of a turn off for you.

- If you had the ability to save only one of the core four above, who would it be?
Yaz Pierce, definitely.
I'm sorry. Actually, I can't relate to the other characters that much, they seem too generic to me. I like the past of Yaz, here characteristics and the name is pretty cool too ^^

A shame the others came off generic, but I'm glad you like Yaz.

I'm looking forward to your updated descriptions as it seems like you want to tell something really interesting. I just need more concrete bits to be hooked more.

I hope this feedback helps a bit.

Sorry it took so long for the update! I appreciate the interest you've taken. I still need to fix some oddly worded parts, but I hope it gives everyone a better idea of where Parallel Percent is headed.

[Zelan]

The update is looking nice. ^_^ I think it's cool to see how the character cards have been updating to show what each person was like as a civilian versus how they are as a member of the Coalition.

[SLASH-7]

The update is looking nice. ^_^ I think it's cool to see how the character cards have been updating to show what each person was like as a civilian versus how they are as a member of the Coalition.

I'm glad you like the update and the new character cards. Thanks for taking the time to checkout the thread again!