Durandal [Kinetic][Fantasy][Adventure]

[AmityAngel]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1wZSoSIIQQ
^ Playthrough of the visual novel work-in-progress.

Hello, everyone~ I've been obsessively working non-stop on a kinetic visual novel.
It's based on a Dungeons & Dragons campaign that my fiancée and I participate in in real-life, with them as the dungeon master.
The storyline for the campaign, and thus the kinetic novel, is meant to be a 300-year prequel to a novel idea that I came up with that my fiancée plans to write in the future as a book.
But, I felt the storyline was just too good and important for the novel to never be transcribed anywhere, so I took it upon myself to make a kinetic novel out of it, even though I have no experience at writing! :>
The video is a two-hour play-through of what I have of the kinetic novel so far, which is now caught up with where the campaign recently left off in real-life.
It's certainly not the typical kind of RPG story, however. Most of the characters in it are very... eccentric, as well as the entire story itself. Personally I think it's part of it's own little charm, and I adore the craziest characters in it, but I tend to have odd tastes. ^^;

Anyway, feel free to give it a shot if you're interested! If you find that the video quality is too low for your tastes, or the text moves too fast/slow, anyone is more than welcome to download the game from here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/lnmjurh750flj ... n.zip?dl=0

Just keep in mind that the character arts are only placements for the real things. None of the character art resembles the actual characters in any way whatsoever! (you can see what a few of them actually look like via the "bonus info" section on the video's description in Youtube.) [For crediting purposes, though I feel it's unnecessary as this is only an unlisted video, this is where I got the sprites: http://renpyhandbook.tumblr.com/free-vn-assets]
The background images are also only placements as well. I just looked them up on Google and picked out images that were vaguely similar to what the places were supposed to look like. ^^; Some are fairly accurate, some are only very vaguely like the real place, etc. I'll commission backgrounds for it eventually.
The background music is most likely final, though un-edited, and all tracks were downloaded from here: http://www.hmix.net/music_gallery/music_top.htm

So if you wish to give me a critique on it, please keep the things above in mind. ^^; I'm mainly looking for feedback on the actual story itself, as well as characters and their interactions. I also would appreciate an outside opinion on if the story even makes coherent sense, because I know too much background information to tell very much myself. OTL
On that note, the story does have a narrator. It's not just me throwing my own personality into the text, it's an actual character who is speaking. She is telling a story to 3 other characters, all introduced in the beginning, who will occasionally interject at various parts throughout the kinetic novel. (All four of these characters are main characters in the novel that this is a prequel to)

There will also be a second kinetic novel, called Dirge, that will be much like this one, but instead it recalls Sria's story, who is Reia's granddaughter~ c: It's also based on a second D&D campaign that is going on at the same time. Once I have a prototype ready for it, I'll also post it as well, though it'll take longer since that campaign is further ahead. OTL

Also I have literally never written very much in my entire life so I'm sorry if my writing is horrible. *hides in a closet*

Oh, and additionally, if anyone takes an interest in the project, and wants to draw art for it (backgrounds or sprites) for either free or very cheap, I am definitely looking for artists for it!