Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [FUNDED!!]

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Crazy Cactus
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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#16 Post by Crazy Cactus » Tue Oct 11, 2016 4:39 pm

Not-Lewd Set

- Same face shape across all of the female characters. It's incredibly off-putting to me.
- I have no reason to care about the main character. There doesn't really seem to be anything at stake for the character, and if there is it isn't immediately apparent. Oh no, he might lose his brand new mansion and busty maids(two of which are barely legal to begin with) and go back to being an every-day schmuck.
- If it's not about the MC, why should I care about the other characters? I think Misaki may be the only character with a plight or a problem.
- By merely suggesting that there may be something darker about a person, people will assume there is something darker about that person. A poor way to hide a secret is to tell people that a secret exists, because then they'll start looking for it.
- The only character that seems to be adding (non-sexual) tension or drama is.. locked? She's the closest thing to an antagonist I can see coming out of this.


Lewd Set

- Same face. Except here, it's a bonerkiller.
- Zero body diversity. Oppai or or bust in a pretty literal way. When the smallest cup in the house is D, they're all less interesting in general. Older women are more enticing when they're the ripest fruits, if you get my drift. Which you do, because Reiko is H-cup'd. But it might be better if someone had something smaller than a C.
- Takako's tits look lopsided. Literally the first thing I noticed about her.
- I get the game is about maids, but you can mix other fetishes with maids. Other than huge tits, barely legal and milf.


Things I liked that I wanted to point out, but didn't before now:

Your graphic designer is on point across the board. The character profiles, the text, the logos, all really well done.

Narumi's cute. If you do decide to re-face the cast, you should probably let her keep that one. She's also the prime candidate for breast reduction surgery, imo.

The backgrounds are well done. Very high quality. How do the sprites look over them?

Aside from the faces, the character designs are pretty solid. If they were more diverse as a cast, it'd be better.
No problemo. Any feedback is always welcome, which is why I asked for it. I'm going to focus on more of this than the previous section, and will take all the other feedback into consideration.

Criticisms:

--For the same face criticism, I can definitely understand where you're coming from, which is why I had our concept artist try to add more age to those older and more youth to those younger. As for the age of the ladies and the barely legal thing, some of the ages have actually been changed to be older, since it didn't make much sense (and the updated profiles haven't been sent to me yet).

--For the main character, I can see how people would fail to empathize with him from the get-go, that only becomes more known once you get a chance to know more about him, which will only be truly possible with the demo's release. If there's a reason people might empathize with him, its because he's grown up where many things in his life have been decided for him, and now he's left alone to finally do whatever he wants and (as him) you can make some really good choices for his future, or some really bad ones.

--Body diversity. I completely understand. Its like another project I have on the backburner where there aren't many flat-chested either. I get the diversity angle, but at the same time it feels like it becomes, "you MUST have a small breasted girl in there, to be fair." Again, not knocking that (no pun intended), but I tried to make up for the lack of breast size diversity with the age differences and other body forms.

--The "locked" person is Miyuki and she is definitely an antagonist. The polishing of her sprite should be done this week and ready to be updated here. The fact there's even a "locked" for her profile is a temporary placeholder - she's actually in the main story. That's a bit confusing and a failing on my part.

--Takako's tits being a bit lopsided I noticed from early on and tried to fix that actually. If it still looks that way, its something I can try to fix for the demo. Or if too late for that, the eventual release next year, should funding be met.

--There are some other fetishes in this visual novel persay, but I will not divulge them specifically. That's for our readers to discover and choose on their own.

Positives:

--Atomic did an excellent job with graphics. We still have some tweaking and editing to do, but I'm proud overall.

--Narumi is our cutest, since she will be the youngest of the bunch. Face will be kept. Breasts will stay that size. Hopefully we get some bigger funders to the game, perhaps they will use some ladies with smaller breasts for the game - I would welcome additions that way. Changing so much right now would cost quite a bit that I myself need elsewhere.

--Backgrounds are really great, and the sprites look quite good over them as well. Will upload some earlier samples of the characters over the BGs (these are NOT current up-to-date of the GUI though)...

--The body diversity is something I might not be able to do much about now.... maybe I might be able to if Maid Mansion is really successful.

As always, thank you for your feedback and to everyone else thus far!!

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#17 Post by Crazy Cactus » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:24 pm

UPDATE #2:

Here's another update for Maid Mansion, as we continue ahead during October to have things ready for demo soon and campaign launch early next month - it was planned to be November 8th, but may be November 9th (a Wednesday) since I don't want to fight with Election Day. Still have to debate that.

Here are some samples of the GUI and how the sprites look with the background. Please keep in mind these are early draft samples and are not necessarily what you'll see when the demo is available...
Image
Image
Image
As Always...

Thanks for reading about our most recent update here and hope to hear from you here in the thread, or see you when our Kickstarter launches early next month!!

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#18 Post by Zelan » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:34 pm

I feel like this has probably already been addressed since these are old samples, but just in case it hasn't: the quit screen should say 'want' rather than 'like.'

Other than that, the GUI looks great. :]

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#19 Post by NaiDriftlin » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:44 pm

Crazy Cactus wrote:you MUST have a small breasted girl in there, to be fair
It's not so much being fair as much as it going to the buffet, and realizing they only serve ribs.

Yeah, ribs are great, but a palette cannot be satisfied with one type of meat alone.

And the further I got with this analogy, the closer I am to literally comparing these women to pieces of meat. Christ. orz

I just want some hush puppies on the side, man.
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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#20 Post by Crazy Cactus » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:48 pm

Zelan wrote:I feel like this has probably already been addressed since these are old samples, but just in case it hasn't: the quit screen should say 'want' rather than 'like.'

Other than that, the GUI looks great. :]
Yeah, I mentioned that to artist, and its one of the things being edited, which is why its a sample. But I gotcha. :D

Thanks for compliments too - its seriously crunch-time for me/us right now.

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#21 Post by Crazy Cactus » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:50 pm

NaiDriftlin wrote:
Crazy Cactus wrote:you MUST have a small breasted girl in there, to be fair
It's not so much being fair as much as it going to the buffet, and realizing they only serve ribs.

Yeah, ribs are great, but a palette cannot be satisfied with one type of meat alone.

And the further I got with this analogy, the closer I am to literally comparing these women to pieces of meat. Christ. orz

I just want some hush puppies on the side, man.
I completely understand. I guess I'm a bit of a glutton for larger breasted beauties. Not that there's anything at all wrong with smaller breasted ladies, but I know I can get a bit carried away. If I don't secure any major funders (who would get the ability to insert their own lady, with a smaller chest for example), I will make a point to be more diverse with our next visual novel in the pipeline. *crosses fingers*

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#22 Post by B E A N » Wed Oct 12, 2016 5:25 pm

NaiDriftlin wrote:- Zero body diversity. Oppai or or bust in a pretty literal way. When the smallest cup in the house is D, they're all less interesting in general. Older women are more enticing when they're the ripest fruits, if you get my drift. Which you do, because Reiko is H-cup'd. But it might be better if someone had something smaller than a C.
Heh. If you told Russ Meyer that he HAD to put girls with smaller than D-cup boobs into his flicks, he would have scoffed at you and scouted for another 44-inch-chest to put into his next movie.

Honestly, oppai's sorta the theme of this production here. We're gonna be bigger, jigglier, more squeezable and, to put it bluntly, bustier than 90% of eroge out there. We're not gonna have one big-busted love interest, we're gonna have all of them. It's what we're shooting for.

Of course, there IS a way for you to change that: Kickstart us with a contribution of at least $500, and we put a character of your design into the story. And who knows: that might even be a maid with a bust of C or smaller size.

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#23 Post by Crazy Cactus » Thu Oct 13, 2016 7:49 pm

UPDATE #3:

Bonkiru is doing the final clean-ups for Miyuki Toritaka (the government inspector) and I just couldn't wait but share with you all. She's looking so great. He's going to be sending over more of how she's looking but again, I came right here to share.

This is a cropped image of the screenshot he sent over. I hope you all enjoy and tell me what you think! Always love to hear from you all!
Image
She looks great. You know it. She knows it. Stop lying to yourself.

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#24 Post by indoneko » Fri Oct 14, 2016 2:48 pm

Miyuki's design is okay, but her pose looks kinda awkward to me; her pelvis was not tilted and her breasts are on the same level so she was standing straight (not making an S curve), yet her right shoulder is higher than her left shoulder (as if she was lifting something). CMIIW
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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#25 Post by NaiDriftlin » Fri Oct 14, 2016 3:29 pm

We're not gonna have one big-busted love interest, we're gonna have all of them.
I get that is the theme of the production, and that's fine. I think Funbag Fantasy/Kyonyuu Fantasy is great and has interesting and erotic character designs, but I don't find this particular iteration on the idea that interesting as is.

Many of the characters share significant portions of status, role and design. 2 maids, 2 milfs, a professionally dressed GND and a milf-maid, 2 sets of 3 of which share fetishes, 5 of which share very similar face and complexion, and all of them share the same body type and color palette. On a per-character basis, we're being sold primarily on their personalities, hair and eye color. If the heroines have routes, then potentially also plot content. And assuming that plot is also a focal point, the overarching plot is up in the air. If the plot isn't a focal point(e.g, you're making a nukige,) your character designs and erotic scenarios matter that much more.

Are you sure rushing to Kickstarter with this is a good idea? I have no idea what USPs this has.
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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#26 Post by Crazy Cactus » Fri Oct 14, 2016 6:16 pm

indoneko wrote:Miyuki's design is okay, but her pose looks kinda awkward to me; her pelvis was not tilted and her breasts are on the same level so she was standing straight (not making an S curve), yet her right shoulder is higher than her left shoulder (as if she was lifting something). CMIIW
It's hard to tell from the cropped image - I recently got a larger screenshot of the pose better, and it shows her slight leaning to one side better, and the angle of her hips matches the angle of her shoulders / shoulder-blades, so it looks appropriate. So again, I would just blame the lack of full perspective on seeing the full pose better.

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#27 Post by Crazy Cactus » Fri Oct 14, 2016 6:39 pm

NaiDriftlin wrote:
We're not gonna have one big-busted love interest, we're gonna have all of them.
I get that is the theme of the production, and that's fine. I think Funbag Fantasy/Kyonyuu Fantasy is great and has interesting and erotic character designs, but I don't find this particular iteration on the idea that interesting as is.

Many of the characters share significant portions of status, role and design. 2 maids, 2 milfs, a professionally dressed GND and a milf-maid, 2 sets of 3 of which share fetishes, 5 of which share very similar face and complexion, and all of them share the same body type and color palette. On a per-character basis, we're being sold primarily on their personalities, hair and eye color. If the heroines have routes, then potentially also plot content. And assuming that plot is also a focal point, the overarching plot is up in the air. If the plot isn't a focal point(e.g, you're making a nukige,) your character designs and erotic scenarios matter that much more.

Are you sure rushing to Kickstarter with this is a good idea? I have no idea what USPs this has.
I think your problem is that you want us to divulge more of the plot, but doing so would spoil it. Are the romance/sexual scenes a big part of the story? Yes. Is it a downright sex scene dominated plot (aka a "nukige")? I would argue no. Obviously though, you can't take my word from it because your opinion as of right now is based on what I've revealed here so far. As it stands, what I really want people to know is that the theme of this visual novel is more about power, about corruption, and how suddenly being forced into a position where you're thrust into an unfamiliar environment, surrounded with people who will do your bidding, can be daunting. How does such a situation change you positively or negatively?

At the end of the day, I am trying to capture a certain niche, but I want people to be drawn into the excellent story being written by B E A N - it has its dirty moments sure, but there are comedic, light-hearted, dark, and very emotionally intense scenes sprinkled throughout the script. In the case of each sex scene, it plays a part in how Yuu develops, which is why I said earlier in the thread I believe them to be very important.

I can't really comment further on the designs, I like what we came up with, and am proud of the work that was done. You might see more similarities than I do, and that's fine. I wasn't going for Disney level of individuality for every single character. We'll simply have to agree to disagree on that point.

As for "rushing to Kickstarter" I don't believe that we are. I have planned everything out, and in my opinion, rushing to Kickstarter would be starting a campaign without all the elements that I have already done here. The demo is still planned for, and should be ready two weeks out for testing, and I am in the middle of working out a possible agreement with a development group, (that has reached out to me personally as of yesterday because they see all the work we've done). In addition, they may be interested in helping fund us and using their relations to help us spread the word, take out ads, etc. That alone gives me confidence that I am doing what I need to do and moving in the right direction.

As always, thanks for the critical feedback. And thanks to all who continue to visit our thread here, it means a lot to me personally, and the whole team!

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#28 Post by Crazy Cactus » Sat Oct 15, 2016 8:07 pm

UPDATE #4:

--more CGs drafted out (the next batch of three just received via Skype -- more excellent work by Shunkaku)
--demo progressing as planned (optimizing sprites for delivery and implementation)
--video trailer for game progressing as planned (finalizing contract, new member to be added to team shortly)
--negotiations with third party (possible developer) are still ongoing
--planning a simple amazon giveaway to keep up our great positive momentum
Update: (https://giveaway.amazon.com/p/b1a4ee3874fe86f7#ln-l - just launched)


As always, thanks to you all who check in on this thread! Please let me know your feedback and/or if you'd like me to check out your own thread or current campaign (I might've already pledged to you so there's that). XD

Have a nice evening everyone!

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#29 Post by Crazy Cactus » Wed Oct 19, 2016 10:17 pm

UPDATE #5:

--received several updated sprites, still waiting on a few more
--video trailer contract was finalized, Sunasrose will be added to team shortly
--negotiations with third party developer almost complete, waiting on other side to sign contract
--some CG drafts were sent to me, some I will share below this post
Image
Image
This CG is for when you meet your first maid, Takako, outside your new home (the mansion)...
As you can see, my goal with CGs for the game (but not all of them) is for them to have several layers, so they feel more alive, more interactive. Basically, that they feel more real. Not all of the CGs in the game will have this, to save some money, but I'd like to feature this as often as I possibly can, to bring additional quality to the game and expand upon some of the key scenes.

Shortly, I will update the adult thread for this game with a few sample CGs over there as well, a sort of sneak preview about where some of those are headed. There's already a fullblown color CG teaser there, but figured another draft over there wouldn't hurt. ...Go check it out!

In two days, I hope to have a lot to go over with you all in the next update. Stay tuned! And as always, thank you everyone for your support!
Last edited by Crazy Cactus on Fri Oct 21, 2016 8:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Maid Mansion [BxG] [Eroge/Dating Sim/Romance] [Commercia

#30 Post by Crazy Cactus » Fri Oct 21, 2016 8:44 pm

UPDATE #6:

Biggest news is that we have entered into an agreement with Devgru-P, you may know them from their project Panzermadels, or from their development work alongside such successful hits like Bunka no Kenkyu, Worn Soles, and their recent work alongside Harem Protagonist (most recent succes - made a little over $68k on Kickstarter). They will be working with us going forward on Maid Mansion, and will help us bring it to the widest audience possible. Looking forward to working with them, and to seein you when we launch next month.

As of right now, the launch date is: November 15th.

Originally, we were scheduled for the week before that, but feel the extra time will help us better prepare. Barring any other problems this could change, but I plan to stick as close to that date as possible. So mark your calendars.

In other news, I wanted to let people know that the sprites, as of right now, are currently completed. I wanted to take a moment to share with you all that while the game is not planned on having "blinking" eyes, it is something I would still like to investigate possibly having, if it can be done without too much trouble. Knowing I didn't want static sprites, and wanted them to have a little more life, I asked Bonkiru to have them be able to turn their eyes to a direction based on where they are generally looking or to whom they are speaking to.

Here's an example of Narumi's angry and happy faces, with eyes that move to show how this might look (pardon the lower quality since its a gif):
Image
Hope you think that will be a good feature for Maid Mansion!

In other news, Sunarose has officially joined the team as well and will be working on our video trailer shortly. I'm looking forward to the wow factor that a trailer can bring and have some high hopes for what she'll do for us and our lovely maids.

As always, thanks for stopping by and would love to hear your feedback, if you have the time!

What do you think of incorporating separate layers for eye movement?

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