The Deep Unknown [Fantasy/friendship] Demo-updated

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Ghost of Crux
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Re: The Deep Unknown [Fantasy/friendship] Demo-updated

#31 Post by Ghost of Crux »

SwallowtailedTrinket wrote:@Ghost of Crux

Okay, so GUI still needs quite a bit of fine-tuning. I will add that to my list! Thanks for the specifics, too, that's a big help!

I've tried to trim down most of the text walls, but I wouldn't be surprised that I've missed a few.

Nah, liking Ruim is fine--likable side-characters are better than boring ones, right? And I'm pleased that you enjoyed the sibling moments as well!

The end of your post actually made me laugh a lot XD Sounds like you had fun playing and I couldn't ask for more!

Thank you so very much for your feedback :D It means a lot to me, and I'm happy you enjoyed it!
SORRY I CRITICIZED A LOT ON THE GUI. The rest are already really good-- especially that confrontation with Thra Pena? That was actually pretty terrifying and tense.

Also this is PROBABLY very nitpicky so I'm sorry if it comes off that way but any particular reason why the menu is on the left side of the screen? :'o
The buttons of the menus are pretty big compared to everything else, and it kinda keeps snapping to my attention every time I go back to the left to read the next line. They're very attention grabbing. It's a suggestion, but perhaps they can be on the right? Or be a bit smaller. As it is, the textbox is very heavy on the left side, since the menu and the namebox are all on the far left. It kinda shifts the "center of balance" of things-- when you go to the right side of the screen, it feels really barren and you just kinda naturally go back to the busiest part of the screen.

But that's enough of me commenting on GUI I'm sorry ;; Ilikedthisvntoomuchforittobelaterjudgedoverthegui

HONESTLY I just really liked the Ruim and Makani interactions in general-- Makani is still upset, but she deals with it maturely and doesn't lash out on him but rather on the idea and situation, which is super nice. It turned her from a potentially annoying protagonist who rightfully are upset by arranged marriages but at the same time are unwilling to see the sides of the issue. The fact that the curse is an established thing that made Makani do things that make him and her mother rightfully worried is just?? I love it. I just really love how you write the entire thing. also other than Riu threatening Vane his dialogues and scenes were hilarious

IT WAS A FUN READ, REALLY, so it was all my pleasure.

//vibrates excitedly here


@ Zelan; HELLO FRIEND
do we start making the fanclub badges now or later? LMAO
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Re: The Deep Unknown [Fantasy/friendship] Demo-updated

#32 Post by SwallowtailedTrinket »

@Zelan

No worries :) We all have lives to live and lots of VNs to play. You have nothing to apologize for ;)

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@LuckyCats

Thank you very much! I'm glad to hear you liked it! I've enjoyed writing these characters a lot, so it always makes me happy that people like their personalities!

Not to give too much away, but you may be on to something with the Loremna'tat there ;)

I don't know why, but I always breathe a little sigh of relief when people like Makani because having a protagonist readers care about is very important to me. I'm glad you like the peace-keeper side of her too! As for your concerns about Kameckt--the plot of this game isn't just how the guys all become friends with Makani, they're going to become friends with each other too ;)

For the fixes parts:

I wasn't sure I wanted to create a rainy background for what's a very short scene, but now that I'm thinking about it, there's another scene that's going to need a rainy background too, so I should probably get on that *adds to list*

I'll look at the gap. I tried to make it as long as the gap between chapters 1 and 2, but I might have messed it up. I guess neither gap probably needs to be so long anyway, the title card should be enough to tell you 'hey! it's a new part of the story now!'

Yeahhhh I'm aware of the spear thing. I was hoping no one would notice :P I just don't really see the point in giving Makani a couple repeat-sans-spear sprites just for that very short period of time. It would needlessly add to the game's file size in my opinion. The other option would be to just remove the spear from her sprite entirely for the whole game, but I like the presence it gives her, so I don't see myself doing that as things stand now.


And your questions:

1. Oh shoot, that's a tough one. I know that the Loremna'tat are probably my favorite as far as the lore and world-building goes but I don't think I'd want to be one. I can think of few more terrifying ways to die than drowning, so the Ame'sol are out on that count. I could get by as a member of the Nenet or Mu'etti races and right now I'm leaning towards the Nenet possibly because I'm curled up in my black and white zebra blanket as I type this.

2. Well it seems that Riu is pretty popular from the feedback I've gotten so far, and that doesn't really surprise me because I have a LOT of fun writing his dialogue. I have to watch myself as I put the script together to make sure he doesn't accidentally steal any scenes that should be focused on other characters and I try to make sure the others are just as likeable in their own ways. I'm a little surprised that Kameckt isn't more popular since I see him as the 1-year-old Great Dane of the sea, but I guess he does also come across as a bit of a jerk in a way that's less funny that Riu does. Vane is about where I expected him to be in terms of popularity--I'm just glad no one has found his pessimism annoying, at least not that they've told me. And the impression I've gotten is that people like Makani too, which is probably one of the most important things to me (as mentioned above). I was very worried about her being a likable protagonist, and I'm not entirely sure why.

3. Yes and yes! It's still my first game, so I'm trying to keep things fairly simple and hold to a smaller cast, but there will be six other characters we meet, two of each of the boys' races, and they'll all have sprites. I haven't gotten around to making most of those images beyond some concept art and potential poses, but when I have I'll post little art updates for them.


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@Ghost of Crux

You really don't need to apologize! The criticism is useful and will help me make a better final product!

It's been awhile since I made that call, I THINK it's on the left because I had already pushed the left borders of the text box over a ways because having the name tags so far to the left of the screen bugged me, so I just put the quick menu there to take up the empty space. Now that you bring it up, I can definitely see how it unbalances the screen, and yep that is definitely a problem. I've never really been happy with how the quick menu looked in the first place, I just didn't have a better idea at the time. But it's been some months, maybe I can do better now XD Thanks!

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Re: The Deep Unknown [Fantasy/friendship] Demo-updated

#33 Post by SwallowtailedTrinket »

I'm going to try to do better about giving updates, even if they're little (because I work slow). I've done some work sketching the sprites for a few of the side characters--mostly testing poses and such.

Here we have someone who wants to be ANYWHERE but in front of our main characters, a couple members of Groriu's family, and one of Kameckt's old pack mates.
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Writing progress has me at about the beginning of chapter six of a total nine. The last few chapters are shorter than the bulk of the story in the middle. I'm setting a goal to finish the rough draft by the end of June, and hopefully a lot sooner. It's a little hard because I don't have a good writing space at home where I can be away from distractions. I'll manage somehow.

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Re: The Deep Unknown [Fantasy/friendship] Demo-updated

#34 Post by SwallowtailedTrinket »

Just dropping in to show I'm still working on this! It's been a crazy autumn for me. The good news is, I have a job now! So say so long to the depression that was siphoning my creativity and drive to be productive over the past year! The bad news is, I have a job now! I have less time to work on this project than I did when I was unemployed.

Still, I'm hoping I can get the full thing published during December. Most of the art and writing is done (I'd say about art 75% and writing 90%), the editing and programming is about half finished, and I've figured out a good strategy for doing the rest of it in a timely manner.

I've redesigned some things. Some of the art isn't perfect, and if I have time, I'll try to make it look nicer, but I'm not going to kill myself over it either. Next time I make one of these, I'll release a demo when I'm a lot closer to being done :P

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Re: The Deep Unknown [Fantasy/friendship] Demo-updated

#35 Post by SwallowtailedTrinket »

Soooo it's been awhile. I kind of avoid this because I FEEL like I have nothing to show for all the work I've been doing. I don't like spoiling the art because there's not a lot of it to begin with and writing is hard to quantify. Personal issues in my real life have slowed progress, and my life is still in flux from all of it, but I'm trying to do at least a little bit of this every day.

So how about some stats instead?
Current word-count: roughly 195k (don't ask me how it got this long, I have no idea how this grew into such a monster)
Current CG count: 19
Current BG count: 16
Current Sprite count: 30 sets
Programming completed up through chapter 6 of 8.

New goal is to finish before summer. I got over the last of my major writers blocks that have been holding me down for months on end now, it's just a matter of having the time and working environment I need to get through with the rest of it. I can see the end! And not going to lie, that kind of scares me, but it'll also be super fulfilling to finish something for once XD

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Re: The Deep Unknown [Fantasy/friendship] Demo-updated

#36 Post by AntiquedFae »

How have I never commented on this before?!?! Seriously, it is SO perfect! Friendship, fantasy, inhuman but humanoid characters (including an MC!), aquatic setting and being brutally honest about the danger of humans? Oh my goodness, I am so sold. You had me at the alligator/crocodile girl MC(teeth do not stick out so I cannot tell which).

Also, eep that is a massive word count! I fear for your self-control but really admire your dedication and work drive!

I hope the spring and summer go marvellously for you!
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Re: The Deep Unknown [Fantasy/friendship] Demo-updated

#37 Post by SwallowtailedTrinket »

AntiquedFae wrote: Wed Apr 25, 2018 11:30 pm How have I never commented on this before?!?! Seriously, it is SO perfect! Friendship, fantasy, inhuman but humanoid characters (including an MC!), aquatic setting and being brutally honest about the danger of humans? Oh my goodness, I am so sold. You had me at the alligator/crocodile girl MC(teeth do not stick out so I cannot tell which).

Also, eep that is a massive word count! I fear for your self-control but really admire your dedication and work drive!

I hope the spring and summer go marvellously for you!
Thank you! :D I'm happy the idea appeals to you.

I've had a lot of fun designing the characters. Makani's race is based on general crocodilian traits, rather than any one member of the group in particular, with a bit of marine iguana thrown in.

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Re: The Deep Unknown [Fantasy/friendship] Demo-updated

#38 Post by AntiquedFae »

SwallowtailedTrinket wrote: Sun Apr 29, 2018 11:02 am Thank you! :D I'm happy the idea appeals to you.

I've had a lot of fun designing the characters. Makani's race is based on general crocodilian traits, rather than any one member of the group in particular, with a bit of marine iguana thrown in.
I can definitely tell you had fun designing them; they're all fantastic and so distinct. And I am glad I did not make a fool of myself by failing to identify the aquatic reptile species Makani is based off of!

...Also, marine iguana?!?!?! To Google!
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Re: The Deep Unknown [Fantasy/friendship] Demo-updated

#39 Post by SwallowtailedTrinket »

The script is FINISHED!! Huzzah!!
It's been a really really long road, but the game is finally almost done :D All that's left is a couple CGs and the editing/programming of the final chapter and the endings and a few more rounds of play-testing.
I'm not going to set a release date, I don't want to jinx myself, but it shouldn't be long before the game is done!

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