Solemn Dirge [BL/BxB] [Fantasy/Drama/Supernatural]

[sicklesium]

Solemn Dirge

solemn, adj - grave, sober, or mirthless, as a person, the face, speech, tone, or mood
dirge, n - a funeral song or tune, or one expressing mourning in commemoration of the dead

Summary
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and Earth, separated by a great rift. Eventually, the rift was done away with, and humans and angels mingled alike. God disappeared, leaving the Archangels to reign in Heaven and on Earth. Before the Archangels left Earth for good, however, they established a monarchy of angels there.

The Royal Family worked out well, until a Great War between the humans and angels broke out. To stop this, the Old Archangel Abaddon destroyed the Earth, leaving it charred and incomplete.

One of the only cities left now, even after over a thousand years, Icarus, serves as a great tunnel between Heaven and Earth. It is within this city that the Royal Family and their bodyguards, the Dion Family, reside - and it is within this city where something sinister begins to stir.

Apollo Dion is an active member of the Delphi, Royal Bodyguards, and it is an inherited title. Brought up with a harsh hand by his father, Alaric, after his mother died when he was young, he begins to notice things are off: this is not the father he once knew as a child; this is not the way the princes should be speaking to him; this is not the way the demons should be in this season; and this is not the way that he should begin to love.

Praying in an old library, Apollo begins to research what he can about the Great War...

Characters










Screenshots
Please note, things may change.





Staff
Sicklesium: Writing, programming
Trichosirius: Art
Lyra: Music, programming
NitrogenFixation: editing

Status
Planning: 100%
Outline: 100%
Writing: 5%
Art: 5%
Music: 0%

Notes
This VN has been in the works for nearing three years. Unfortunately, I've been working on it off and on, and I've finally decided on a clear path. I've reworked lots of the storyline to make it more concise and clear while still including the original themes I made up those three years ago. Now I'm determined to finish it!

You can find more on this website.

Questions *new!*

• Is the concept interesting to you?
• This is a kinetic novel, with a planned fandisk for the other characters, as well as a sequel. Out of all the characters, who would you like to date (as Apollo)?
• Who is your favorite character? Why?
• Are there any improvements that can be made, from what is already shown?
• How is the artstyle?

[CosmicFan]

1 - Is the concept interesting to you?

Yes. The story summary has got me intrigued.


2 - This is a kinetic novel, with a planned fandisk for the other characters. Out of all the characters, who would you like to date (as Apollo)?

Vincent, he is the cutest.


3 - Who is your favorite character? What's your favorite theme presented thus far?

Vincent. From his design alone you can tell he is the most pure and, well, angelic of all the angels. And his character bio backs that.

[Kikaharu]

aww thats a little sad. I'm like this is really interesting but then I read it's kinetic. I love having options that chance things even if its not a lot of things but still is fun. Hmm for now it is bookmarked. I'll see what I think at a later date. A bit bum that it's kinetic though it probably will be good. I don't have a favorite character but I can tell you which ones I like better. No order as in who I like better but I like Ain Poett, Hyacinthe Aponte, & Halcy Valentine. All of them I like better than the others are based on looks. I'm a very visually person for games. So looks are important but then I read the information too. Sometimes I will read the information first and sometimes I won't even read the information because I didn't like the visuals of it. So I do like the style that they are in; it's just Ain, Hyacinthe and Halcy, I like their looks better than the others.

[gekiganwing]

Apollo, the bodyguard for the heir apparent, faces trials and tribulations as he attempts to put an end to the rumors, rising violence from demons, and more, all while discovering the true secrets of his family’s past.

In my opinion, it's good to have just as much worldbuilding as your story requires. Creating a fictional world which has a long history based on monotheism, deism, and Greek mythology is commendable. Just keep in mind that readers need to care about what your characters are doing now, what conflicts they face, and what their goals are.

Is the concept interesting to you?

Your fictional world has priests. Also, Hyachinthe's profile says "They have gone through several clergymen as bodyguards..." I'm curious what sort of roles priests play in your world. How do they help people in a world where everyone can see and interact with angels?

[Yunou]

Is the concept interesting to you?

Yes--this is pretty much right up my ally when it comes to genres. I love the character designs/personalities as well.

This is a kinetic novel, with a planned fandisk for the other characters. Out of all the characters, who would you like to date (as Apollo)?

I'd be into Frederick and Akira together, but only together. They seem like there would be something interesting there going on.

Who is your favorite character? What's your favorite theme presented thus far?

I still have to go with Frederick and Akira, I just love couple dynamics especially as they interact with MC. I'm not quite sure what you mean by theme here.

---

I really think this has a lot of potential. One thing you might consider is detailing the immediate situations over your world's setting and background--don't get me wrong, it is very interesting, but still left a little confused.

Almost a millennium later, Icarus faces treason and treachery once more. Apollo, the bodyguard for the heir apparent, faces trials and tribulations as he attempts to put an end to the rumors, rising violence from demons, and more, all while discovering the true secrets of his family’s past.

This little bit at the end of your Summary only gives a taste of what plot to expect and is somewhat vague. I suggest being a little bit more more direct about what to expect without giving anything away. To kind of echo gekiganwing, I want to care more about Apollo--I'm sure he is wonderful, but this brief description doesn't really tell me enough to care all that deeply.

Treason and treachery are too vague--what exactly is going on? What is Apollo's relationship like to the heir apparent? What kind of rumors are going on, how is he trying to stop them, and how is stopping these rumors dangerous? Why are the demons growing more and more violent? Also, what kind of secrets about his family?

I know you likely worded all of this to avoid spoilers, but I think your story could benefit from answering some of these questions--maybe not all of them, but some of them. I need to know what Apollo is like. I need to know what this heir apparent is like and why the situations has become so dangerous all of the sudden.

World-building is great, but your summary is made up of six paragraphs, five of which are basically world building information. I recommend summarizing these five paragraphs into no more than two paragraphs and spend the rest on giving us a taste of these very interesting characters you have created. World building can come naturally once inside the game.

I hope you are not bothered by any of these suggestions--I really like this concept a lot and think there is a lot of potential.

[sicklesium]

First off, I want to say thank you to everyone that replied! I wasn't expecting much attention, but I'm glad that I did garner some.

1 - Is the concept interesting to you?

Yes. The story summary has got me intrigued.


2 - This is a kinetic novel, with a planned fandisk for the other characters. Out of all the characters, who would you like to date (as Apollo)?

Vincent, he is the cutest.


3 - Who is your favorite character? What's your favorite theme presented thus far?

Vincent. From his design alone you can tell he is the most pure and, well, angelic of all the angels. And his character bio backs that.

Vincent is the most angelic. I'm glad you like him a lot!

aww thats a little sad. I'm like this is really interesting but then I read it's kinetic. I love having options that chance things even if its not a lot of things but still is fun. Hmm for now it is bookmarked. I'll see what I think at a later date. A bit bum that it's kinetic though it probably will be good. I don't have a favorite character but I can tell you which ones I like better. No order as in who I like better but I like Ain Poett, Hyacinthe Aponte, & Halcy Valentine. All of them I like better than the others are based on looks. I'm a very visually person for games. So looks are important but then I read the information too. Sometimes I will read the information first and sometimes I won't even read the information because I didn't like the visuals of it. So I do like the style that they are in; it's just Ain, Hyacinthe and Halcy, I like their looks better than the others.

I was actually teetering on giving it choices or not. If I do decide on choices, please note that I most likely won't do Alaric and Frederick/Akira, as they are non-romanceable side characters and have been from the start.

Apollo, the bodyguard for the heir apparent, faces trials and tribulations as he attempts to put an end to the rumors, rising violence from demons, and more, all while discovering the true secrets of his family’s past.

In my opinion, it's good to have just as much worldbuilding as your story requires. Creating a fictional world which has a long history based on monotheism, deism, and Greek mythology is commendable. Just keep in mind that readers need to care about what your characters are doing now, what conflicts they face, and what their goals are.

Yes, there's a TON of worldbuilding involved in this - it's my specialty. As someone else mentioned, I agree, I don't think I put enough thought into making the characters look appealing to first time viewers. I'll be sure to work on this.

Is the concept interesting to you?

Your fictional world has priests. Also, Hyachinthe's profile says "They have gone through several clergymen as bodyguards..." I'm curious what sort of roles priests play in your world. How do they help people in a world where everyone can see and interact with angels?

"Your fictional world has priests." Ha? Are you meeee? Haha.
Priests play a specialized role in the government, as the government of the entire world is a theocracy. They work closely with the angels to channel their powers to full strength, as angels are much weaker on Earth.

I really think this has a lot of potential. One thing you might consider is detailing the immediate situations over your world's setting and background--don't get me wrong, it is very interesting, but still left a little confused.

Almost a millennium later, Icarus faces treason and treachery once more. Apollo, the bodyguard for the heir apparent, faces trials and tribulations as he attempts to put an end to the rumors, rising violence from demons, and more, all while discovering the true secrets of his family’s past.

This little bit at the end of your Summary only gives a taste of what plot to expect and is somewhat vague. I suggest being a little bit more more direct about what to expect without giving anything away. To kind of echo gekiganwing, I want to care more about Apollo--I'm sure he is wonderful, but this brief description doesn't really tell me enough to care all that deeply.

Treason and treachery are too vague--what exactly is going on? What is Apollo's relationship like to the heir apparent? What kind of rumors are going on, how is he trying to stop them, and how is stopping these rumors dangerous? Why are the demons growing more and more violent? Also, what kind of secrets about his family?

I know you likely worded all of this to avoid spoilers, but I think your story could benefit from answering some of these questions--maybe not all of them, but some of them. I need to know what Apollo is like. I need to know what this heir apparent is like and why the situations has become so dangerous all of the sudden.

World-building is great, but your summary is made up of six paragraphs, five of which are basically world building information. I recommend summarizing these five paragraphs into no more than two paragraphs and spend the rest on giving us a taste of these very interesting characters you have created. World building can come naturally once inside the game.

I hope you are not bothered by any of these suggestions--I really like this concept a lot and think there is a lot of potential.

Thank you for the wonderful feedback. Like I've just said, world building is my specialty, and I tend to overdo it in a lot of cases. So it's nice to be told to be kept in check!

I've edited the summary to include a bit more details. I'm trying to keep it ~mysterious~ and refrain from spoilers while also explaining a little more. I could also explain the characters themselves individually a little more as well, since I don't think I can fit it in the summary.

[Yunou]

Thank you for the wonderful feedback. Like I've just said, world building is my specialty, and I tend to overdo it in a lot of cases. So it's nice to be told to be kept in check!

I've edited the summary to include a bit more details. I'm trying to keep it ~mysterious~ and refrain from spoilers while also explaining a little more. I could also explain the characters themselves individually a little more as well, since I don't think I can fit it in the summary.

I really like the new summary--it says a lot without giving anything away! Good luck with this project, I think it will be great!

[sicklesium]

An Update:
Added a new character - Adel Poett, Ain's older brother.

Adel is a cruel, arrogant, callous young man. Distrustful of everyone he meets, he comes off as disregarding and disinterested in everything people say. He resents Ain for an unknown reason. He is the Commander of the Jackals.
He will be the FINAL! major character, and will be non-romanceable.

I've also decided to do it like this - the main story will be told through a kinetic novel. However, there will be a bonus disk released shortly after that allows you to pursue relationships with the other characters or have a bonus ending for the main love interest. That means there will be bonus content for Halcy, Vincent, Hyacinthe, and Ain.

Thank you for the wonderful feedback. Like I've just said, world building is my specialty, and I tend to overdo it in a lot of cases. So it's nice to be told to be kept in check!

I've edited the summary to include a bit more details. I'm trying to keep it ~mysterious~ and refrain from spoilers while also explaining a little more. I could also explain the characters themselves individually a little more as well, since I don't think I can fit it in the summary.

I really like the new summary--it says a lot without giving anything away! Good luck with this project, I think it will be great!

Thank you so much! It really means a lot. ^^

[sicklesium]

Some updated art:

First, some sprite shots for both Apollo and Halcy, tentative.



Then, fullbodies of the twins, though tentative colors.

[sicklesium]

I've edited the character profiles to be clearer and include likes/dislikes and a quote. We've also changed the colors for Vincent and Hyacinthe's outfits.

Also, here's one of my favorite pieces our artist has ever done:



As a note, the screencap section is already outdated. Not only have I changed the GUI, but I've also decided to write this in third person limited instead.

[sicklesium]

Some updated art with clearer depictions of four of the characters.


Click for bigger!

The outline has pretty much been completed. Now if only I could write faster haha.
Sprites are also in the works.

[CosmicFan]

Now that's down right beautiful!

[pelmeniki]

Wow gosh the art is absolutely gorgeous?? made my heart flutter a little haha/// Are you planning any sort of crowdfunding campaign anytime? (let me throw my money at you)

[sicklesium]

Now that's down right beautiful!

Thank you!

Wow gosh the art is absolutely gorgeous?? made my heart flutter a little haha/// Are you planning any sort of crowdfunding campaign anytime? (let me throw my money at you)

Thank you!! The art style really suits the game, in my opinion.

And yes! We were planning a kickstarter to get things like custom backgrounds + voice acting. We don't know when we'll set it up, though, but hopefully by the end of February!

As a side note, which sort of rewards would you like to see? I have stretch goals in mind though, but if you have any sort of specific ones in mind, please let me know!
This goes for everyone viewing the thread now!

Also:



A peek into one of Apollo's sprites!

[sicklesium]

Hey guys, I've updated the website. It's no longer going to be based out of tumblr and will instead be based out of Wix.

https://sicklesium.wixsite.com/solemndirge

There's a lot of info about all the characters on there that isn't here.

I'm also working on a pseudo-prequel, a small kinetic thing. It mainly focuses on Halcy, but Adel and several unnamed characters are also present.