Un:Wanted [VN][Otome][GxB][Action][full game for testing]

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effenelle
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Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:41 pm
Projects: Un:Wanted [GxB]
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Un:Wanted [VN][Otome][GxB][Action][full game for testing]

#1 Post by effenelle » Sat Apr 01, 2017 3:30 pm

Hi all!
Un:Wanted [VN][Otome][GxB][Friendship][Action]

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Story
Akira, a university student is working a part time job with the Walteright. She's a hard-headed, go-getter, and sometimes impulsive girl who just wants to live a normal life with her friends. However, no matter how hard she tries, her past keeps coming back at her... Possessing a power that no one else have, how would she deal with it?

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Characters
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Akira
Main character. 23 years old. Calm, rational but sometimes spontaneous, hard-headed Once she's made her decision, no one can force her against it.
Sprite by SilverHyena.

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Cain
23 years old. Akira's employer & classmate. Highly confident, smart and hardworking, sometimes can be seen as arrogant and insensitive.
Sprite by einari.

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Matt
23 years old. Akira's classmate & close friend. Athletic, enthusiastic, friendly, a bit clingy. Fun to be around with.
Sprite by gundestiny.

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Neal
21 years old. Akira's personal assistant. Reliable, considerate, charming, altruistic up to the point where it annoys Akira.
Sprite from blxxxdeclaration site found here.

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Vic
23 years old. Akira's classmate & best friend. Sensitive, warm and loyal, always ready to defend her friends when needed.
Sprite by Tetiel.

Features
All sprites/bgs are free resources found in LemmaSoft Creative Commons! Full credits.txt can be found in game's folder.
Resolution 800x600
~78,000 words
6 endings (one for each guy, default ending, hidden ending and bad ending)
Rating: 13+ for mild swearing
Made with Ren'Py

Notes
This is the full game actually (YAY!) but last thing to do is, of course, testing. I couldn't find anyone to help me with that...that's why I'm posting it in the 'Work In Progress' section instead of 'Completed Games'. Phew...been working on it alone since 2+ years back, never had enough confidence to post it online.
Also, please forgive me if you found lots of grammatical mistakes ┬┴┬┴┤(・_├┬┴┬┴ been editing it way too much already, I've lost concept on what's wright and wrong...oops see how my mind is messed up ><! But! Hopefully that wouldn't hinder people from playing it. Feel free to drop a comment on any mistakes you find, and I can find some time to correct them... (⌒_⌒;)


Questions
Did the game work on your machine? Did you find any bugs/errors?
What do you think of the main character?
Which character(s) do you like?
Are the choices clear enough? Which ending did you get on your first play through?
If you know about MBTI (16personalitytypes), what do you think the type for each of the characters? (I'm a fan of MBTI)

Thank you!

Google Drive download
DeviantArt link
unWanted-1.0-all.zip
Download full game
(54.18 MiB) Downloaded 22 times
Last edited by effenelle on Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
Un:Wanted (GxB)
A game made from free resources found in LemmaSoft's Creative Commons!
\(^▽^)/
Thanks everyone!

saddest-willowby
Newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:21 pm
Contact:

Re: Un:Wanted [VN][Otome][GxB][Action][game up for testing!]

#2 Post by saddest-willowby » Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:35 pm

So I realize I'm a few months late :lol: but I really enjoyed playing through this game and thought it was criminal to see no replies here.

- Did the game work on your machine? Did you find any bugs/errors?
Yup, working fine on my Windows 10.

- What do you think of the main character?
Overwhelmingly loved her - there's a lot going on under the surface. I think she's a great example of how strong characters don't always need to be "strong". At first she seemed like she was going to be a non-character doormat, but when she
turned the tables around on Cain, was doing detective work in her head about the drugged cheesecake, made it clear to her friends when she wanted to be alone
, etc., those moments really sold her inner strength to me. And
seeing her angry side rear its head increasingly often, like when she was casually thinking about killing people during the car chase, or basically her entire relationship to Neal
I love that she has a real flaw that actually causes real problems.

- Which character(s) do you like?
All of them!
Cain: You did a great job of making me hate the stuffing out of him at the start! I was going to go with Matt out of spite, but then he softened up and in the end I wish I'd gone for him. That moment when Akira just straight up
offered to be his girlfriend
was pretty amazing.
Matt: Although he was the last person I wanted to romance, he was actually sorta my favorite guy, in that his relationship with Akira felt the most real. Usually with the childhood friend trope,
the girl is sorta oblivious, but in this case Akira knows and Matt knows that she knows and both of them play off that
- it was really refreshing.
I had an inkling he might have been a baddie, but that didn't even change my opinion of him because I was so convinced of his feelings for her. I didn't get his ending though, so I'll never know.
Neal: He showed up pretty late in the game, so I didn't think there was going to be a third choice before then. I was also internally crying everytime Akira interacted with him because she mistreats him so badly. I certainly liked him but I couldn't focus on the romance because I was too busy feeling sorry for him haha!
Vic: The sweetest little baby, the bestest best friend one could wish for. She makes a great foil to Akira and Matt in their friendship circle, and I was genuinely sad to see her leave the mansion.

- Are the choices clear enough? Which ending did you get on your first play through?
I got the bad ending for laughs, and then got the default (I think?) ending, I assume because I tried to three-time it :lol: Some of the choices were clear and others I had to think about.

- If you know about MBTI (16personalitytypes), what do you think the type for each of the characters? (I'm a fan of MBTI)
Uhh
Akira: INFP
Cain: ISTJ
Matt: ESFP
Neal: ISFJ
Vic: ESFJ
!?!?

And just some general critiques -
I think the opening scene was little weak compared to the rest, where the two doctors are talking and there's a lot of exposition - the dialogue didn't really seem like something two people would really say.
The dialogue drags in places. Sometimes a character will try to convince another one to do something and there will be many back-and-forth sentences before a decision is made. Also, there are a lot of continuous "..." which can be reduced.
I was almost deterred by the graphics / different sprite styles - which is unfortunate because the story is gold, but it's the art that makes the first impression. Although if you need art assets, hit me up and I'd be happy to draw some!

But yeah, overall I thought this was a diamond in the rough with really deep characters and an engaging plot! Congrats on basically finishing it!

User avatar
effenelle
Regular
Posts: 39
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 12:41 pm
Projects: Un:Wanted [GxB]
Deviantart: effenelle
Location: inside imagination
Contact:

Re: Un:Wanted [VN][Otome][GxB][Action][game up for testing!]

#3 Post by effenelle » Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:06 am

First of all, THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENT!

Haha I tried not to expect too much when I first posted this, but whoa, finally knowing that there is someone, somewhere out there who did play my first game...I just... *overwhelmed in feelings* (T_T)
saddest-willowby wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:35 pm
- What do you think of the main character?
Overwhelmingly loved her - there's a lot going on under the surface. I think she's a great example of how strong characters don't always need to be "strong".
Wow...thank you! I did try to make her as a strong girl
with her psych and all
, but still realistic, so I'm glad that I managed to convey that to you ^^
saddest-willowby wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:35 pm
Cain: You did a great job of making me hate the stuffing out of him at the start! I was going to go with Matt out of spite, but then he softened up and in the end I wish I'd gone for him.
I had him sort of like the arrogant rich boy type in my head, but ended up kinda cute. Hehe. Glad you like him!
saddest-willowby wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:35 pm
Matt: Although he was the last person I wanted to romance, he was actually sorta my favorite guy, in that his relationship with Akira felt the most real. Usually with the childhood friend trope,
the girl is sorta oblivious, but in this case Akira knows and Matt knows that she knows and both of them play off that
- it was really refreshing.
I had an inkling he might have been a baddie, but that didn't even change my opinion of him because I was so convinced of his feelings for her.
Yeah...I sometimes feel sorry for him because for me, he was like
the default romance choice for the game, so I tried at least giving him a twist.
Lol I tried OTL But yeah, all in all, I can say that Akira is most comfortable being with Matt.
saddest-willowby wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:35 pm
Neal: He showed up pretty late in the game, so I didn't think there was going to be a third choice before then. I was also internally crying everytime Akira interacted with him because she mistreats him so badly. I certainly liked him but I couldn't focus on the romance because I was too busy feeling sorry for him haha!
Haha! Interesting that you said you were too busy feeling sorry for him...I should probably tone it down a bit ^^; With Neal, honestly it was a test of some sort. I was trying to push the limit to see how much is needed for the player to like him and replay the game to get his route. I wanted to make him the loyal, too good bishie/pretty boy almost doormat type (think Miketsukami Soushi from InuxBoku SS) that I think a lot of girls would like, so I made it
so that the main character's personality clashed with him big time, and made him appear quite late in the game.
For me, his route was the hardest to write because I set his personality to be the complete opposite of the MC.
saddest-willowby wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:35 pm
Vic: The sweetest little baby, the bestest best friend one could wish for.
Right? I love her too! >< I based her on my best friend ^^
saddest-willowby wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:35 pm
- Are the choices clear enough? Which ending did you get on your first play through?
I got the bad ending for laughs, and then got the default (I think?) ending, I assume because I tried to three-time it :lol:
It IS possible :wink: just slightly trickier than other ending.
saddest-willowby wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:35 pm
- If you know about MBTI (16personalitytypes), what do you think the type for each of the characters? (I'm a fan of MBTI)
Akira: INFP, Cain: ISTJ, Matt: ESFP, Neal: ISFJ, Vic: ESFJ
Hey, good guess! I definitely tried to portray Vic as ESFJ. What's your MBTI, if you don't mind me asking?
saddest-willowby wrote:
Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:35 pm
And just some general critiques
Thank you again for these. I agree, the opening scene was my desperate attempt to weave in lots of info while turning a blind eye on the flow itself...will make sure to be more careful next time.
I also admit that writing is not my strongest point that sometimes unnecessary dialogues were not edited out. The continuous "..." was intended to give a sort of 'long silence' situation, I wanted the player to experience real time pause, if that makes sense, rather that writing it out as words. Perhaps there are better ways for me to do it.
And again, I agree, the graphics are not that pleasant to see ^^; I was using free stuff, and it's not easy searching for sprite set that really fit what I needed (like having eyes, mouth, hair etc. on diff layers for maximum sprite customization). But for me, as this is my first game, I should produce it on my own first, sort of a proof that I am serious in making games, before I start requesting people to come up with custom sprites/GUI. But hey, I really appreciate that you offer to draw art assets for me! I'll keep that in mind for if I wanted to make sequel for this game...hmm that's an attractive idea hehe

Thank you again for playing and commenting on the game! :D Do you have DeviantArt account/Tumblr etc. for your art? I'd love to check it out!

Edit: I just noticed that this is your FIRST post on LemmaSoft forum! Your first post on my first game! I'm honored! :shock:
Welcome to LemmaSoft :)
Un:Wanted (GxB)
A game made from free resources found in LemmaSoft's Creative Commons!
\(^▽^)/
Thanks everyone!

saddest-willowby
Newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2017 9:21 pm
Contact:

Re: Un:Wanted [VN][Otome][GxB][Action][game up for testing!]

#4 Post by saddest-willowby » Fri Nov 17, 2017 11:38 pm

effenelle wrote:
Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:06 am
First of all, THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENT!

Haha I tried not to expect too much when I first posted this, but whoa, finally knowing that there is someone, somewhere out there who did play my first game...I just... *overwhelmed in feelings* (T_T)
Aww, no probs!! I'm just giving credit where it's due. I didn't know if you were still active, but I thought more people should be playing it!
effenelle wrote:
Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:06 am
Haha! Interesting that you said you were too busy feeling sorry for him...I should probably tone it down a bit ^^; With Neal, honestly it was a test of some sort. I was trying to push the limit to see how much is needed for the player to like him and replay the game to get his route. I wanted to make him the loyal, too good bishie/pretty boy almost doormat type (think Miketsukami Soushi from InuxBoku SS) that I think a lot of girls would like, so I made it
so that the main character's personality clashed with him big time, and made him appear quite late in the game.
For me, his route was the hardest to write because I set his personality to be the complete opposite of the MC.
Ooh, interesting, I didn't know I had to replay it.
Yeah I thought it was interesting how he was simultaneously made to be the most desirable, and also Akira's most hated character at first. Actually as soon as I saw him, I wanted to romance him right away, so the whole time I was like Akira why you make this so hard for me :lol:
I'm curious about why he's so devoted, so yeah, I'd play it again!
effenelle wrote:
Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:06 am
It IS possible :wink: just slightly trickier than other ending.
Well, it's time for me to replay. LOL
effenelle wrote:
Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:06 am
Hey, good guess! I definitely tried to portray Vic as ESFJ. What's your MBTI, if you don't mind me asking?
So does that mean I got the other four wrong? Hahaha!
I'm INFP. According to this website I'm idealistic and reclusive, which is pretty spot on.
What about you?
effenelle wrote:
Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:06 am
I also admit that writing is not my strongest point that sometimes unnecessary dialogues were not edited out. The continuous "..." was intended to give a sort of 'long silence' situation, I wanted the player to experience real time pause, if that makes sense, rather that writing it out as words. Perhaps there are better ways for me to do it.
I totally see that. I think some "..." definitely make the pauses more immersive, and I use them a fair amount too for the same reason you said, so maybe it's more about finding a balance.
effenelle wrote:
Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:06 am
And again, I agree, the graphics are not that pleasant to see ^^; I was using free stuff, and it's not easy searching for sprite set that really fit what I needed (like having eyes, mouth, hair etc. on diff layers for maximum sprite customization). But for me, as this is my first game, I should produce it on my own first, sort of a proof that I am serious in making games, before I start requesting people to come up with custom sprites/GUI. But hey, I really appreciate that you offer to draw art assets for me! I'll keep that in mind for if I wanted to make sequel for this game...hmm that's an attractive idea hehe
Makes sense! Yeah, I forgot about how much technical work has to go into making sprites work. And on the other hand, I thought the characters matched their sprites really well, and the backgrounds were really pretty, especially the ones in the mansion.
And seriously, congrats for actually finishing the game - there are so many projects that never get there, so this is automatically a huge achievement!
A sequel? Sign me up!
effenelle wrote:
Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:06 am
Thank you again for playing and commenting on the game! :D Do you have DeviantArt account/Tumblr etc. for your art? I'd love to check it out!
I do, here and here, but they're a little ancient haha. I recently drew two of my dudes though, here and here.
effenelle wrote:
Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:06 am
Edit: I just noticed that this is your FIRST post on LemmaSoft forum! Your first post on my first game! I'm honored! :shock:
Welcome to LemmaSoft :)
Hehe, thank you! I was lurking for a while and then I played your game and felt strongly enough about it to make a post :lol:

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