The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

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Mammon
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The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

#1 Post by Mammon » Fri Jul 07, 2017 3:44 am

Roses Of The Thorn Prince
Genre: Medieval, intrigue, [BxG]
Expected length: 400000-450000 words. (Though hopefully less)
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Long ago, in a kingdom far, far away from here, lived a prince. This prince was kind at heart. He was a caring and gentle soul, a righteous mind who would one day make a wise king. Or he would, if his father hadn’t been stabbed in the back, resulting in his mother going mad and plunging the realm into a bloody civil war. Worrying about her son meeting the same fate as her husband, the queen taught him to suppress his kindness to prevent any such thing from ever happening to him.

The civil war has since ended with the queen’s death, and things have calmed down. Now, three years later, the prince has gathered much influence and learned many skills. Due to a decree of the king however, the prince won’t be crowned before his 18th. Being forced to watch the chairman rule for another year still, the prince has no choice but to bide his time.

The chairman, in his devious meddling ways, is not content with this compromise. In his ever intrusive goal to ‘melt the prince’s icy heart and make him a compassionate human again’, the chairman has concocted one last scheme for the prince to overcome; Marriage. In a final attempt to give the prince a ‘happily ever after’, three princesses have been summoned to his court with the desire to marry him.

Will this diabolical plan succeed to bring out the loathed kindness within the prince’s heart, will the prince instead marry someone just as cold as him or will the plan backfire and bring forth war and bloodshed? The choice is up to you.


Characters
The protagonist
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First son of the late King Hendry the fifth Von Valenthal and the late queen Marrisa Von Valenthal,- Van der Pria, first in line to the throne of the Valen kingdom; crown prince William John Von Valenthal the second. Next king of Valen and heir of the Valenthal empire.
Valen used to be a prosperous andpeaceful country under his father's reign, relatively at least. When he died to the blade of an assassin however, the mourning queen went mad with rage and killed many nobles who might be connected or could conspire against her son in the future. Plummeting the country into a five-year civil war, she left a bitter aftertaste towards the royal family and a nudered court without backbone.
William takes after neither his father nor his mother, despite their efforts. Not kind nor cruel, William is best described as rational and cunning. He follows a strict daily schedule of maintaining his web of connections, honing his fighting skills and ruling the kingdom as much as he can without being king. He never looks at what he achieved but at what is next, it’s not enough and it will never be enough.
The prince’s personality is rather unpredictable, but a few things are clear: One should never appeal to the prince’s feelings. If they do, they’ll feel the thorns wrapped around his heart and he’ll lash out. Just keep things formal, the prince is overly rational as long as his feelings slumber. As long as your intentions are rational and in the interest of both parties, he’ll like you.
Habits: Manipulation, Machiavellian scheming, negotiating, winning.

The powerful and vain princess
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The second daughter of Emperor Matthew Sarrdak the fourth, king of the Sarrini empire and conqueror of Hellenthal and Netherdoss, and queen Mathilda Hilde Sasha Sarrdak/Vilno of Sarrini, princess Salia Amelia Francesca Sarrdak of Sarrini. Duchess of Rattas and fifth in line to the throne of the Sarrini empire.
Seventy years ago, a small kingdom called Sarrini went to war and won. After that, they went to war against a new opponent, and won again. That habit has repeated itself to this day, the small kingdom since grown to a large empire to be reckoned with. An empire that everyone wants to be on the good side of.
Amongst the royal family of this empire is princess Salia, second daughter of the Emperor. Salia, rumoured to be one of the most beautiful women in the world and amongst the top 20 most powerful people by birth right, is by far the most powerful amongst the three princesses. Add to this her personality of compliance, and you’ve got yourself every nobleman’s perfect wife.
Every nobleman, except William. The cold-hearted prince is utterly unimpressed by the princess’s charms. In fact, her beauty and personality are preventing William of considering this beneficial marriage as an open and shut case. Not that this will stop Salia, the princess seems determined to seducing the prince after all and will use all her charm to do so.
Habits: Complimenting William, being vicious towards her competition, doing everything to look as fair as she possibly can.

The kind and fair princess
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The first daughter of King Leopold of Sasone the second, king of the Maton Sasone, and queen Emelia Sara Sasone/Maton, princess Charlotte Erica Sasone of Maton Sasone. Countess of Neahill and fourth in line to the throne of Maton Sasone.
The kingdom of Maton Sasone has been a prosperous and peaceful one for generations, a place without conflict and poverty. As such, their king has never needed to be harsh or cruel to keep order, and the princess has been raised with love and adoration from all. Never has she needed to stray from the path of innocence, nor has she seen the harsh reality that reigns other kingdoms.
To her, the tale of the young prince from Valen who lost both his parents and grew heartless seems like just that; a sad tale. In her eyes, he’s a hurt and lonely soul, a handsome prince with a mean side that can be changed by love. He’s almost like a fairy tale character come to life. As such, when she received the chairman’s invitation, she felt like her fairy tale began. Now, the innocent princess travels to Valen to meet the lonesome prince and hopefully find the true love and the happily ever after that she longs to have.
Habits: Overly apologetic, eager to help but reluctant to accept it, always seeks the good in people.

The mean and manipulative princess
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The third daughter of king Max the first of house Picol and queen Bella of house Autifuble, the baroness of Mocomnville, princess Veronica of Picol.
Veronica, the ugly stepsister, is from a 'kingdom' situated in a steadily declining region which is just a terrible mess of poverty since the larger kingdom fell. All the smaller countships and such, including the viceroyship that her father rules, became independent. Her father, unlike the others trying to keep their domain steady, crowned himself king despite that title being way beyond him. The reason he did so, was so that all his 9 daughters would become princesses by default, even if it’s just in name. Good for his other eight daughters, each very scrumptious and dim-witted, the kind that are well-liked by men looking for an attractive arm-candy wife of noble descend.
Unlike her sisters, Veronica wasn't so lucky. Instead of curves, she has an opinion and personal aspirations. Because of this making her hard to marry to someone important, and her refusal to be an obedient doe-eyed lady in waiting, has resulted in her father disliking her. The rest of his court soon followed. She needs not expect respect and love. She shouldn't expect special treatment like her sisters. Sometimes she doesn't even get dinner, if her father is mad and food is running low. At multiple occasions he even claimed her to be a bastard, not his daughter.
But she doesn't let that get to her. Not from the outside, at least. She never cried when people could see her. But she knows what she is. She knows how people see her. She knows that the prince only allows her to stay at his court as a prank. It's not as if he actually respects her skill and personality. Nobody does.
Habits: Teasing or downright insulting people, giving her opinion, commenting on irrational decisions.

Ser Ethan
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Chairman Hendricks
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Captain Bertram
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Sir Godfrey
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Duke Lewis Verdo
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Progress
Writing: ±15% (125000/400000 words)
Common route: 90%
Princess Salia route: 95%
Princess Charlotte route: 0%
Princess Veronica route: 0%
No princess route: 0%

Art assets: 10%
Sprites: 85%
CG: 6%
BG: 0%
Coding: 0%

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Questions:
1. Do you like the premise? Does this sound like an interesting story you’d want to read?
2. Do you like or dislike the characters? Anyone in particular?
3. Anything else you’d like to know?
Last edited by Mammon on Tue Dec 12, 2017 6:51 am, edited 15 times in total.
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Re: The Thorn Prince[Medieval][Nobility][BxG]

#2 Post by rapking84 » Sat Jul 08, 2017 8:26 am

i like the plot of this one..

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Re: The Thorn Prince[Medieval][Nobility][BxG]

#3 Post by TellerFarsight » Sat Jul 08, 2017 11:48 am

400000 words is quite a lot, but boy it sure does look like you'll get there!
It seems like a very interesting story, Mammon, and I look forward to it.
My one comment is that I don't know if I would attach the word "beautiful" to Princess Salia; she looks more cute than beautiful. In motion, I can imagine here being the kind of yandere type but she's not exactly "gorgeous." You nailed it with the other two though, and Veronica is definitely my favourite.
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Re: The Thorn Prince[Medieval][Nobility][BxG]

#4 Post by Mammon » Sat Jul 08, 2017 1:45 pm

rapking84 wrote:i like the plot of this one...
Hope you'll like the finished VN too, whenever it may come out.
TellerFarsight wrote:400000 words is quite a lot, but boy it sure does look like you'll get there!
It seems like a very interesting story, Mammon, and I look forward to it.
My one comment is that I don't know if I would attach the word "beautiful" to Princess Salia; she looks more cute than beautiful. In motion, I can imagine here being the kind of yandere type but she's not exactly "gorgeous." You nailed it with the other two though, and Veronica is definitely my favourite.
Thanks, I'm not sure if I'll actually get to those 400000 words but looking at how much I have now and how much I plan to write still, should be around that number in the end. And I share your opinion of Salia, she has a version with some more... prominent cleavage, but unless her shading really highlights her physical appearance in the final product I'll probably make this sprite a noblewoman extra and make a new sprite for the princess.
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Re: The Thorn Prince[Medieval][Nobility][BxG]

#5 Post by Mammon » Sun Jul 30, 2017 7:45 am

Alright, the (none-shaded single-expressioned) character sprites are now complete with the exception of Duke Verdo whose appearance I can't decide upon and a few irrelevant characters. More importantly though, new and improved characters for William and Salia, they look soooo much better now~.
Slowly progressing into Princess Salia's route in terms of writing too.
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Re: The Thorn Prince[Medieval][Nobility][BxG]

#6 Post by Mammon » Fri Aug 11, 2017 12:50 pm

And with Duke Verdo, the main cast now has a face. On to the supporting cast, starting with the servants. First route coming along well too.
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Re: The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

#7 Post by Zelan » Sat Sep 09, 2017 5:14 pm

1. Do you like the premise? Does this sound like an interesting story you’d want to read?: Yeah, I love it! I like how the premise is given in Prince William's point-of-view; it really characterizes both him and the Chairman. From our outside perspective, we can tell that the chairman is a kind-hearted buy with good intentions for the prince and for the country, but we can also see just how William thinks based on what he says about the Chairman.

2. Do you like or dislike the characters? Anyone in particular?: ethan is really hot ok. Look, I'm a girl with certain standards and that man is loving up to all of them. And I also like the fact that he's a friend of Prince William - it'll be interesting to see how they interact considering how unfriendly the prince is.
blonde maid is also hot af she looks like she'd cut a bitch for me if I needed her to

3. The three princesses are supposed to look beautiful, cute and elegant respectively. Do you agree?: Salia looks like a pretty traditional Disney princess, so I would be inclined to agree; although she doesn't necessarily fit my personal idea of a beautiful woman, she does embody the "traditional" beautiful woman that is common to Western cultures. You also did well with Charlotte; she's got that cute and naive look perfectly. Veronica is the only one that I might disagree with - she looks more badass than anything else to me. However, I think this is partially due to the less fancy clothes and the smirk - with a different expression and outfit, she could very well have the look of an elegant noblewoman.

4. Anything else you’d like to know?: If you put in as much work into this one as you did for P&Y, I'm sure it'll be fantastic. I still haven't had the chance to play it but it got loads of positive feedback. While I would still like to play it at some point, if this one comes about before I can I'll probably play this first. Historical settings are more my speed than slice-of-life stories.

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Re: The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

#8 Post by Mammon » Sun Sep 10, 2017 4:32 am

Zelan wrote:
Sat Sep 09, 2017 5:14 pm
1. Do you like the premise? Does this sound like an interesting story you’d want to read?: Yeah, I love it! I like how the premise is given in Prince William's point-of-view; it really characterizes both him and the Chairman. From our outside perspective, we can tell that the chairman is a kind-hearted buy with good intentions for the prince and for the country, but we can also see just how William thinks based on what he says about the Chairman.
2. Do you like or dislike the characters? Anyone in particular?: ethan is really hot ok. Look, I'm a girl with certain standards and that man is loving up to all of them. And I also like the fact that he's a friend of Prince William - it'll be interesting to see how they interact considering how unfriendly the prince is.
blonde maid is also hot af she looks like she'd cut a bitch for me if I needed her to
3. The three princesses are supposed to look beautiful, cute and elegant respectively. Do you agree?: Salia looks like a pretty traditional Disney princess, so I would be inclined to agree; although she doesn't necessarily fit my personal idea of a beautiful woman, she does embody the "traditional" beautiful woman that is common to Western cultures. You also did well with Charlotte; she's got that cute and naive look perfectly. Veronica is the only one that I might disagree with - she looks more badass than anything else to me. However, I think this is partially due to the less fancy clothes and the smirk - with a different expression and outfit, she could very well have the look of an elegant noblewoman.
4. Anything else you’d like to know?: If you put in as much work into this one as you did for P&Y, I'm sure it'll be fantastic. I still haven't had the chance to play it but it got loads of positive feedback. While I would still like to play it at some point, if this one comes about before I can I'll probably play this first. Historical settings are more my speed than slice-of-life stories.
Hey Zelan, thanks for the interest!
1. Most definately. If I achieve what I want, William will be someone you'd love to hate.
2. You're not the first to say that, never really intended to make Ethan that attractive but it appears he's adorable. Not that I'm going to complain about that :D . Seems that making the best friend side-character the people's favorite is going to be an unintended habit of mine, just like Alex in P&Y.
3. Traditional beauty, naive and badass. Great to hear, I can most certainly live with that. Veronica will probably be a bit of a badass, though I'm just happy I found a way to make her unattractive-ish in a way that doesn't look ugly and deformed. (It's surprisingly hard to do...)
4. Well, P&Y took me about 1.5 year to finish and this project looks like it'll be at least three times as big (though I'll be working more efficiently this time), so you've got plenty of time before the release. P&Y's story is said to be much better than S&Y, if that's any motivation :wink: . But I do hope that you'll enjoy this once it's released. Thank you so much for your interest and feedback!
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Re: The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

#9 Post by Mammon » Thu Sep 21, 2017 5:07 pm

Alright, progressing slowly with Princess Salia to the finale while regretting ever making such deviant paths for the good and bad routes. William got a new face, and sprites have now reached the most annoying point of adding more outfits and such. Because keeping it to one outfit for a whole week, that's something only sane people do. (nd these aren't even all her hand positions... Dear Lord I'm doing too much with these sprites...)
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Re: The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

#10 Post by Zelan » Thu Sep 21, 2017 5:26 pm

HANDS. I can't believe that I forgot to mention this in my first post, but something that I see artists mention a lot is how much trouble they have drawing hands. You've tackled the hands head-on, and it looks to me like you did an awesome job with all of them. Not only are they proportional to the sprites that they're attached to, they're expressive, which is fantastic.

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Re: The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

#11 Post by Semicolonkid » Fri Sep 22, 2017 3:36 am

1. Do you like the premise? Does this sound like an interesting story you’d want to read?
I do! I will admit, the backstory grabs my interest more than the "present day, we've got a mean prince in a peaceful environment" starting point, but it also sounds like plenty of interesting things will happen to shake that up before all is said and done. I'm in!

2. Do you like or dislike the characters? Anyone in particular?
I particularly like the idea of Ser Ethan in general. A bro who's in a unique position to be the voice of reason to a largely selfish person. I love that kind of thing, because it shows that Prince William obviously isn't rotten ENTIRELY to the core - even if it's only to one person, he's willing to listen to his friend. That kind of represents hope for the prince in general, you know?

3. The three princesses are supposed to look beautiful, cute and elegant respectively. Do you agree?
Absolutely, except Veronica strikes me as more "roguish" than elegant. I think it's really just the cloak. She doesn't look like a princess or even a noblewoman to me with that thing on, and that can be totally fine if that's what you're going for, but if you're looking for "elegant" than personally I'd up her wardrobe budget a bit.
And I find it kind of hilarious that Charlotte's eyes are just quadruple the size of the others'. She's gone full anime, and I love it.

4. Anything else you’d like to know?
I guess I'm confused how 125,000/400,000 words is only 15%? Wouldn't it basically be double that? Or am I misinterpreting something?

When I first learned about Ren'Py a good 10 months ago, I found and looked through the archives of random games that were made with it, and stumbled upon P&Y. I'll admit I didn't actually read it, but I found the concept hilarious and I've read many of your posts concerning it since, Mammon. Just wanted you to know I think you're cool, and this project looks pretty awesome! The best of luck! :D
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Re: The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

#12 Post by Mammon » Fri Sep 22, 2017 5:08 am

Semicolonkid wrote:I do! I will admit, the backstory grabs my interest more than the "present day, we've got a mean prince in a peaceful environment" starting point, but it also sounds like plenty of interesting things will happen to shake that up before all is said and done. I'm in!
I particularly like the idea of Ser Ethan in general. A bro who's in a unique position to be the voice of reason to a largely selfish person. I love that kind of thing, because it shows that Prince William obviously isn't rotten ENTIRELY to the core - even if it's only to one person, he's willing to listen to his friend. That kind of represents hope for the prince in general, you know?
I hope Ser Ethan will live up to your expectations as the best of the three advisors and William's voice of reason. From what I've written thus far, he should be. And I hope you'll find the eventual story interesting indeed.
Semicolonkid wrote:Absolutely, except Veronica strikes me as more "roguish" than elegant. I think it's really just the cloak. She doesn't look like a princess or even a noblewoman to me with that thing on, and that can be totally fine if that's what you're going for, but if you're looking for "elegant" than personally I'd up her wardrobe budget a bit.
And I find it kind of hilarious that Charlotte's eyes are just quadruple the size of the others'. She's gone full anime, and I love it.
Jup, I haven't gotten around to those two Princesses yet, right now they're still stuck with their first outfits and limited expressions. Veronica is quite poor so her less flashy attire is representative to the other two, but she'll get more fancy and lady-like dresses indeed. And Charlotte's eyes are a bit big indeed, triple the usual should do as well. But I plan to do all the tweaking on them while writing their routes so I can envision them well and know what to draw and what to write to make everything work together.
Semicolonkid wrote:I guess I'm confused how 125,000/400,000 words is only 15%? Wouldn't it basically be double that? Or am I misinterpreting something?
Rewrites. If I know myself, there's going to be a lot of rewrites. 15% might actually be a bit of an overstatement. :?
Semicolonkid wrote:When I first learned about Ren'Py a good 10 months ago, I found and looked through the archives of random games that were made with it, and stumbled upon P&Y. I'll admit I didn't actually read it, but I found the concept hilarious and I've read many of your posts concerning it since, Mammon. Just wanted you to know I think you're cool, and this project looks pretty awesome! The best of luck! :D
Aw, thanks! And if you do read P&Y one day, please let me know what your thoughts were, positive or not.
Zelan wrote:HANDS. I can't believe that I forgot to mention this in my first post, but something that I see artists mention a lot is how much trouble they have drawing hands. You've tackled the hands head-on, and it looks to me like you did an awesome job with all of them. Not only are they proportional to the sprites that they're attached to, they're expressive, which is fantastic.
Thanks, although there are still a few deformed ones amongst them. Especially the ones placed on one's heart, those look rediculously long. But as critical as I am, I refuse to have them look anywhere below acceptable regardless of how often I have to redraw them, I'm glad that's paying off.
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Re: The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

#13 Post by 磯七ラスミ » Thu Oct 26, 2017 3:08 am

Mammon wrote: 1. Do you like the premise? Does this sound like an interesting story you’d want to read?
2. Do you like or dislike the characters? Anyone in particular?
3. The three princesses are supposed to look beautiful, cute and elegant respectively. Do you agree?
4. Anything else you’d like to know?
1. It doesn't sound like something I'd read. I'm just interested because the author's previous works. I'm kind of his fan.
Subject of morale actually interest me though. Why to be good? Why to be evil? The core of the being, going all by yourself figuring out how to proceed.
2. I like Prince William traits. To coexist with more relaxed third-parties may output interesting results.
Then non-handsome (with funny wrinkles) characters seem appealing to me for the sake of credibility.
3. I agree.
4. I wonder how this scenario came to your mind. No yandere here? :o

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Re: The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

#14 Post by Mammon » Thu Oct 26, 2017 8:25 am

磯七ラスミ wrote: 1. It doesn't sound like something I'd read. I'm just interested because the author's previous works. I'm kind of his fan.
Subject of morale actually interest me though. Why to be good? Why to be evil? The core of the being, going all by yourself figuring out how to proceed.
2. I like Prince William traits. To coexist with more relaxed third-parties may output interesting results.
Then non-handsome (with funny wrinkles) characters seem appealing to me for the sake of credibility.
4. I wonder how this scenario came to your mind. No yandere here? :o
Well, it will take quite some time still before it's finished anyway so mybe the premise might be rephrased to something you'll be more interested in by the time it's completed. Who knows? And if not, there are too many VNs these days to read the ones that don't interest you, so I wouldn't mind.
I hope the credibility holds up, the supporting cast is quite a bit older and more experienced indeed.
And nope, no yandere. The scenario grew in my mind playing 'Lads in distress' years ago, needless to say it has since changed massively to a point where the origins are barely still there.

Hope you'll enjoy the game once it's released, if it interests you enough to play of course!
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Re: The Thorn Prince[regency][BxG]

#15 Post by Mikaesa » Sat Dec 30, 2017 6:38 pm

First, i would like to say i'm very happy to see a new project from Mammon. I really really like your writing, i discovered Pervert&Yandere by chance and couldn't stop playing 2 days straight :D (also i apologize in case my english is a litte weird)

1. Do you like the premise? Does this sound like an interesting story you’d want to read?
Yes if it's one of your story, i'm definitively interested. I mean the premise is simple but i can imagine what you can do with William already. Otherwise, i don't really play [BxG] because i'm a girl, it's usually harder to immerse in the story. But because your protagonists are not meant to be "blank", it's ok (in lots of VN, protagonists have no personality to let the player substitute themselve in them. I prefer your approach)
Oh i like the crazy mother part, nice backstory here.

2. Do you like or dislike the characters? Anyone in particular?
- I don't really understand one thing about Salia description : why is she a candidate to court the prince ? I mean, her country seems powerfull and the prince quite troublesome. So i don't understand her motive to be here (also in her description, she can have any man she wants so why him ?)
In comparaison, the innocent Charlotte wants to find true love and Veronica have a "poor background". I can clearly see their motive for being here. I hope you understand what i mean ?

- I already know that Charlotte will be the most cringy route for me because i hate this type of girl (pure, innocent, naive little lamb hahah). But i know she's a necessary character in this kind of story, maybe i will not hate her in the actual game.

-Veronica is my favorite princess for now ^^ Maybe her sprite is too humble for a princess, even a hated one. I really like her face and dress, maybe she could use a necklace for exemple (or bracelets) to give her a more noble appartenance ? She is not the kind to wear complicated gown like the other 2.

- Ser Godfrey is probably with the bad guys but i wanna say he's really sexy :oops: It'll be difficult to hate him if i must hahaha
- Don't take it the bad way but Ser Bertram kind of reminds me of Brienne de Thor :lol:
- Of course Prince William is very interesting, i can't wait to read him in action.

Overall, your art skills have improved nicely. What i apreciate the most is that you really understand what each personnality must wear, their posture and expressions. They fit their role. Also, thanks for drawing a map.


3. Anything else you’d like to know?

How do you like your coffee, black or with milk and sugar ? ... Just kidding :D
All the best for the rest of the game.

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