It does look better, you got rid of most of the errors I saw. ^_^ The only other one I see is on Eve's character card - "match" should be "matches" (as "none" is a singular noun).HSelf wrote: ↑Sun Sep 10, 2017 4:37 amThanks a lot! Your feedback are really insightful. For the proofreader, it's a bit complicated, even more so with a 300K story. I've still edited the post as I've seen quite some embarrassing mistakes and awkward wordings. Hope it's a bit better.Zelan wrote: ↑Sat Sep 09, 2017 9:32 pm - Does the story sound interesting to you?: Yes. I'm not always a fan of thriller stories, but the more personal element to this one has my attention.
- Do you like the art style?: I agree with Markus that the art is nice but I like seeing VNs with art styles other than anime. Still, I usually look at the story first and the art second, so this doesn't stop me from being interested. c:
- About choices in visual novels in general. Do you prefer having lots of choices, but more meaningless ones (skipping insignificant events/changing some dialogues)?
Or do you prefer having a restricted amount of choices, but more meaningful (which branches the story)?
Or maybe a mix of them both, which might give the illusion of a more concrete experience?: My personal opinion is that choices are best that directly impact the story. However, it is probably a good idea to have a mix of both. There are a lot of people who like details like that, changing dialogue and such.
- Do you have any tips or advice to give regarding the summary/character descriptions? Or do you feel that the premise of the story is well conveyed?: I think it's done very well, actually. You've set up the very beginning for us, and the problems that Michael will face, without spoiling anything that comes after that. It grabbed my attention and I think that it will interest others as well.
I do think you should look into finding a proofreader, as there are several mistakes in your post and in the character descriptions.
I completely understand what you mean about how hard it is to find a proofreader for such a long project, but any help you can get will improve the final product and make it more polished.
