Shadowburg [BxB] [Supernatural] [Romance][DEMO]

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poorlyformed
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Re: Shadowburg [BxB] [Supernatural] [Romance]

#16 Post by poorlyformed » Wed Mar 28, 2018 8:30 pm

minyan wrote:
Wed Mar 28, 2018 2:53 am
I am loving your GUI <3 Especially the way you show Zeb in the textbox. This sounds interesting, I'm very curious as to where it'll go! The art fits the style of the GUI, and gives me an image of a campy, fun, scary time, like scooby doo xD We'll see how the vibe of the writing takes it though! I love Niron's design (but I'm a sucker for guys with long hair) and Zeb's shirt-- fantastic. I also really like Zeb's haircut.

As for advice... programming wise I'd say be careful of where you're using calls and where you're using jumps, forgetting to return from a call can be a major headache later! Other than that I can't think of anything that couldn't be found on the forums! I'll keep an eye on this. Good luck getting it together!
Thank you! That's the exact vibe I wanted to go for! Spooky, but not horror movie scary, and fun. I have to admit that the writing is actually the most intimidating part for me. I used to do it a lot but not recently.

and Zeb's haircut is actually based on a hairstyle I saw every single guy under the age of 30 sporting in Busan when I visited my family last year. I loved it but, seriously. The entire city was filled with it. :lol:
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Re: Shadowburg [BxB] [Supernatural] [Romance][DEMO]

#17 Post by bobconway » Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:57 am

Finally had a chance to check this out (I blame Nanoreno for keeping me busy last month), and this is really well done for a demo!

I tend to write down general thoughts (and edit game text) as I play a game, so here's all sorts of random things in roughly chronological order within the game:
- The portrait is great! You can see his expression clearly, but also his pose, which is nice. That said, you don't seem to vary his pose at all, and if you don't, you could just zoom in even more on his face/head
- The font size seems potentially a little small. I would maybe have it as least as big as the Save/Load/Settings/Skip options
- I prefer when important audio cues (like the doorbell) are repeated in text, because not everyone can hear, nor does everyone play with sound on
- There's a weird lack of distinction between the narrative voice (referring to you as "you") and Zeb's thoughts. I'd like to see these distinguished somehow. (Like "Ugh. Who could that be?" seems like inner monologue and not narration.)
- I love the color scheme and the choice menu hovers; purple and neon green have always been one of my favorite color combinations for some reason
- Sean is super cute
- When you transition Molly and/or Sean on and off the screen, move animations may be more appropriate than fading them in and out. (Like when Sean moves right so Molly can show on the screen, and then when Molly moves left so Sean can show on the screen, and then when Molly moves back after Sean leaves.)
- If you skip going out with Molly, it jumps to night, and then you make no additional progress unpacking than you do if you had gone with her. The choice should probably let you get an additional room unpacked, or something, instead so it feels like there's a point to it.

Congrats on the demo, and good luck with your continued development!
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Re: Shadowburg [BxB] [Supernatural] [Romance][DEMO]

#18 Post by poorlyformed » Thu Apr 05, 2018 7:08 pm

Thank you for all the awesome comments! I do have plans on on varying the poses - I actually had a lot of plans for this game at first, including more romance options and randomizing everyone's outfits - but for the sake of my own sanity (and to make sure I actually complete it because I have a bad tendency to get overwhelmed by big projects and quitting) I cut most of it out for now. I still plan on doing all that, but I want to get the basic game done first, just so I can say I did it.

Your other comments are also so helpful - a few other people had mentioned the font size, but nobody said anything about the narrator vs thoughts distinction, which is funny because it actually was something I'd meant to do and...didn't.

My next planned update is to introduce Niron, and I will definitely be incorporating your suggestions into it.

bobconway wrote:
Mon Apr 02, 2018 11:57 am
Finally had a chance to check this out (I blame Nanoreno for keeping me busy last month), and this is really well done for a demo!

I tend to write down general thoughts (and edit game text) as I play a game, so here's all sorts of random things in roughly chronological order within the game:
- The portrait is great! You can see his expression clearly, but also his pose, which is nice. That said, you don't seem to vary his pose at all, and if you don't, you could just zoom in even more on his face/head
- The font size seems potentially a little small. I would maybe have it as least as big as the Save/Load/Settings/Skip options
- I prefer when important audio cues (like the doorbell) are repeated in text, because not everyone can hear, nor does everyone play with sound on
- There's a weird lack of distinction between the narrative voice (referring to you as "you") and Zeb's thoughts. I'd like to see these distinguished somehow. (Like "Ugh. Who could that be?" seems like inner monologue and not narration.)
- I love the color scheme and the choice menu hovers; purple and neon green have always been one of my favorite color combinations for some reason
- Sean is super cute
- When you transition Molly and/or Sean on and off the screen, move animations may be more appropriate than fading them in and out. (Like when Sean moves right so Molly can show on the screen, and then when Molly moves left so Sean can show on the screen, and then when Molly moves back after Sean leaves.)
- If you skip going out with Molly, it jumps to night, and then you make no additional progress unpacking than you do if you had gone with her. The choice should probably let you get an additional room unpacked, or something, instead so it feels like there's a point to it.

Congrats on the demo, and good luck with your continued development!
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Re: Shadowburg [BxB] [Supernatural] [Romance][DEMO]

#19 Post by illuminate001 » Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:32 pm

Hi PoorlyFormed!

I finally got about to playing your demo today! (mainly cause my back hurt and I took a day off work lol) Anyways I wanted to tell you I enjoyed it and it definitely left me wanting more...but that was mainly because it was very, very short imo.

I know this is your first game, so I'll say that my advice would be to update the demo with a little more content and get further into the narrative. I didn't really get a sense of what the story was or why...also I didn't get much of a sense for who Zeb was yet. Although I was sad that I didn't get to meet Niron (omg so manly!) I don't necessarily think he needs to be in the demo.

I did like and enjoy the relationship between Zeb and his cousin Molly. Probably because my cousin, she and I are like brother and sister and I could really see myself in Zeb's shoes, having moved to a new town and my cousin being the one to take me out and help me adjust to my new surroundings. She's done that in the past, though not in these exact circumstances. I hope we get to see more familial moments like these, although maybe I'm being selfishly sentimental. lol

Overall, I'm up to play the final once it's completed! =)
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Re: Shadowburg [BxB] [Supernatural] [Romance][DEMO]

#20 Post by poorlyformed » Mon May 07, 2018 10:44 pm

Thank you for the feedback! I was hoping to have more content by now, but I've not been in a place to be able to do so for the past month or so. Just complete blockage. blergh. But I'm going on vacation soon, so hopefully that'll give me a chance to reset and get back to writing.

And don't you worry, Molly plays a big part in the game and we'll be seeing a lot more of her and Zeb's relationship. :)
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Re: Shadowburg [BxB] [Supernatural] [Romance][DEMO]

#21 Post by Gryphbear » Fri Jun 29, 2018 12:56 pm

It's a great demo - I liked everything so far - and I do agree about the font needing to be 'slightly' larger. It could be incremented... 2-4 font sizes bigger, but if that throws off the text box sizes and all, then I'll live with it. Plus the Demo - I played it, and it was over in 5 minutes, sort of leaving me unsatisfied - lol. You do need more content. :) And I hope you do manage to add content over your vacation :)

Keep it up. :)
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Re: Shadowburg [BxB] [Supernatural] [Romance][DEMO]

#22 Post by poorlyformed » Wed Aug 15, 2018 9:00 pm

ok, it's been a while, but! I have been working on the game! Granted, I only got back to it a couple of weeks ago, but still! Made a bunch of minor changes - font size has been increased, have started adding music and SFX, and redid the beginning a bit. I've also written a bit more, mostly with Sean, but have also introduced Niron. Niron's intro is still fairly bare-bones, but I'm going to flesh it out more in the next few days. I'm waiting for that to update the itch.io page, but if anyone would like to try out what's been done so far: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1ueITo ... OGekajkn0u

Also! I will be at FlameCon this weekend! If anyone is going, please stop by Table A6 and say hi! I'll even have Shadowburg stickers to hand out. :D

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Re: Shadowburg [BxB] [Supernatural] [Romance][DEMO]

#23 Post by poorlyformed » Fri Aug 17, 2018 9:14 pm

oops, meant to reply to this with my last post, but spaced out on it. but thank you! If you didn't see the last post, I did a big update, and tonight I just finished Niron's intro. New updates can be downloaded here, and I'm going to upload to itch.io once I hear back from some people testing it, hopefully later tonight.
Gryphbear wrote:
Fri Jun 29, 2018 12:56 pm
It's a great demo - I liked everything so far - and I do agree about the font needing to be 'slightly' larger. It could be incremented... 2-4 font sizes bigger, but if that throws off the text box sizes and all, then I'll live with it. Plus the Demo - I played it, and it was over in 5 minutes, sort of leaving me unsatisfied - lol. You do need more content. :) And I hope you do manage to add content over your vacation :)

Keep it up. :)
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