Another Story - an otome's path [Otome][GxB][Romance][Demo]

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Zure
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Another Story - an otome's path [Otome][GxB][Romance][Demo]

#1 Post by Zure » Sat Feb 03, 2018 4:54 pm

Hi everyone!

It's been a while that I'm lurking on this forum and fidgeting about how to present myself and my little project. Please be lenient, it is my first try :D
So here we go!

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An office lady the day, a veteran gamer at night, Kyoko prefers to indulge herself in fictional love stories instead of pursuing “true love”. However, how will the autoproclamed queen of otome games react when she will be trapped inside one of them?

Quietly accepting the path offered by the game as Hana, the main character of Doki Doki 5 or following her own instinct as Kyoko?
This is Another Story and that’s your choice as a player to create a new path for this young maiden.


In Another Story, you'll follow Kyoko's adventures inside the in-game character Hana.
5 routes will be available, with 3 endings per route. An additional "true" route more focused on Kyoko will unlock once all other paths are done :)

Later the game will be translated into French (my native language).

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  • Kyoko (23 y.o)
    The main protagonist of « Another Story », she is the real deal when it comes to play at otome games. A normal office lady the day, an otaku gamer at night, she isn’t interested in dating people for some reasons from her past.
    Personal quote: “Always save before a choice if you don’t want to regret after!”
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  • Mana (?? y.o)
    A strange entity who helps Kyoko in her quest to exit the game.
    Personal quote: “Pleased to be of any help, Miss Kyoko!”
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  • Hana (21 almost 22 y.o)
    The player character of « Doki Doki 5 » an otome game produced by Mikona. A college student, she is a sweet girl who is still not over from a heartbreak. However, she feels safe to be able to rely on her two best friends : Natsume and Kou.
    Personal quote: “I’m okay, don’t worry about me!”
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  • Natsume (22 y.o)
    Best friend of Hana, she is the happy-go-lucky of the trio. Extremely sociable, she always drags along her best friends to some strange places when she heard about it in her college cercle.
    Personal quote: “Yay! Let’s do this! You are with me, right? Right…?”
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  • Kou (22 y.o)
    Best friend of Hana, he is quite popular but he doesn’t like to boast about it. He is a cool guy who changed a lot by meeting Hana and Natsume. Lately, he is quite busy for unknown reasons.
    Personal quote: “… Natsuuuume, WHY?”
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  • Haru (28 y.o)
    Older brother of Hana, he is an interior designer fully committed to his work. Barely present at home, he is a calm person who has a soft spot for books.
    Personal quote: “I won’t be back tonight, I got some work to finish.”
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  • Hiromi (18 y.o)
    A cute and nice waiter at Moonlight Café, he is quite shy and easily makes mistakes. But even if he’s young, do not be fooled by apparences.
    Personal quote: “Hmm. Uh… T-thank you so much for your advice!”
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  • Shinji (21 y.o)
    His androgynous looks makes him a perfect rising star fashion model. Not knowing what modesty is about, he is quite open about his feelings.
    Personal quote: “Have you already fallen for my beauty?”
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  • Tetsuya (22 y.o)
    Some friendly guy met through Internet. He needs advice to help him confess.
    Personal quote: “How can we recognize ourselves IRL?”
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  • Daisuke (?? y.o)
    A mysterious man who seems to be out of place.
    Personal quote: “…”
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(Click on the images to see it full screen)

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To be honest, it started as a joke because I was really frustrated at how the heroine in the otome game Amnesia is... passive. Especially when you have to be a complete retard to reach the true/best end of Toma's route.

I'm no professional but I like challenges and I wanted to do something of my tiny drawing skills and I wanted to do something fun for myself first.
So I mixed a lot of crazy or typical situations in otome games or manga, added a little bit of my skepticism and there you are. Another Story is born!

Btw, I'm not an English speaking native, so please forgive my mistakes! I'll try my best to improve :)

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I don't have much time since I started my job. However it is not something that I can stop now. I'm kinda fond of my characters and I know where I want to go with my secret/true route, so I cannot let it go! Currently, I'm focused on finishing the boys' introductions to release a true demo for the game.

However, I'm alone to do any creative work (scenario, illustrations - CG, sprites, GUI, backgrounds). And there's still the question of the music and sound effects... so we can't expect the game to be released until a while, I'm really sorry T_T

I just hope that one day there will be people who will enjoy this little piece of work.

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Well... I'm not really used to question people, so here are some basic questions:
- Just by the look of it, what are your impressions?
- Any character that strikes your curiosity?
- Any chance that you'll want to follow the story?
- Do you have any questions for me?

In any case, thanks for reading!

See more on:
https://another-story.sharuruzure.com/ (the website has to be updated and the demo is still an alpha preview!)
https://www.facebook.com/anotherstory.otome/
Last edited by Zure on Thu Apr 26, 2018 4:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
An otome game in production : https://another-story.sharuruzure.com
If you're interested, here is the associated topic: viewtopic.php?f=43&t=47928

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Zure
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Re: Another Story - an otome's path [Otome][GxB][Romance]

#2 Post by Zure » Thu Apr 26, 2018 4:11 pm

Update!

To celebrate the 2nd birthday of this project: we've released an alpha demo which covers the story until the introduction of each main love interest + the extras + a little bonus at the end.

=> Download the demo (v.2018.04.26)

- Currently, we do not have sound nor music after the prologue. Since it contributes a lot for the appreciation of a visual novel, I apologize in advance! (And I do not own the current sample of music, I have to replace them later T_T)
- The drawings aren’t finalized yet.
- By chance, you had a previous save from another build, please do not use it since it will cause the game to crash… and that wouldn’t be nice.

If you want to help me to know what are your expectations or just let me know that you’ve enjoyed this, please fill the following form (5 min): https://goo.gl/forms/bFRlhoBxwCv9RVTv1

Thank you very much! :)
An otome game in production : https://another-story.sharuruzure.com
If you're interested, here is the associated topic: viewtopic.php?f=43&t=47928

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Re: Another Story - an otome's path [Otome][GxB][Romance][Demo]

#3 Post by LuckyBerry » Tue May 01, 2018 10:54 am

- Just by the look of it, what are your impressions?
Well, it looks interesting and cute. And I really like the GUI~
- Any character that strikes your curiosity?
Umm, I guess Daisuke since he's the one described as "mysterious and out of place"? xD And also Mana with her suspiciously similar name to the protag (though maybe it's nothing of relevance? :roll:) and role as a mentor... Haha.
- Any chance that you'll want to follow the story?
Sure, this looks really nice and light, just my type of otome. And I haven't played Amnesia but if you started this with the idea of NOT having a passive type of MC, then that scores more points for me. Who likes to play as that sort of character really? Yeah, I'm interested in seeing how will Kyoko's story will unfold, it seems like since you specifically wanted to make a different type of MC, that this won't just be some cliché storm.
- Do you have any questions for me?
I guess not... Haha, sorry if this is really short but I'm kind of sleepy and I guess I'd rather play the demo before saying more. But yeah, as I said this has piqued my interest and I will be checking it out and returning with my thoughts once I've played the demo :)

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Zure
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Re: Another Story - an otome's path [Otome][GxB][Romance][Demo]

#4 Post by Zure » Tue May 01, 2018 6:17 pm

LuckyBerry wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 10:54 am
- Just by the look of it, what are your impressions?
Well, it looks interesting and cute. And I really like the GUI~
- Any character that strikes your curiosity?
Umm, I guess Daisuke since he's the one described as "mysterious and out of place"? xD And also Mana with her suspiciously similar name to the protag (though maybe it's nothing of relevance? :roll:) and role as a mentor... Haha.
- Any chance that you'll want to follow the story?
Sure, this looks really nice and light, just my type of otome. And I haven't played Amnesia but if you started this with the idea of NOT having a passive type of MC, then that scores more points for me. Who likes to play as that sort of character really? Yeah, I'm interested in seeing how will Kyoko's story will unfold, it seems like since you specifically wanted to make a different type of MC, that this won't just be some cliché storm.
- Do you have any questions for me?
I guess not... Haha, sorry if this is really short but I'm kind of sleepy and I guess I'd rather play the demo before saying more. But yeah, as I said this has piqued my interest and I will be checking it out and returning with my thoughts once I've played the demo :)
Ooh thank you so much for your message LuckyBerry!

Regarding Mana, it is totally coincidental the similarity with Hana. Sorry for the misleading name, I just liked the sound of it!

Well, I do hope that I won't betray your expectations for the MC! I can just guarantee that she was quite funny to create :)

In any case, I will be very happy to hear your impressions once you've played the demo. It is my first time creating a VN from scratch so it is quite exciting :3
An otome game in production : https://another-story.sharuruzure.com
If you're interested, here is the associated topic: viewtopic.php?f=43&t=47928

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Re: Another Story - an otome's path [Otome][GxB][Romance][Demo]

#5 Post by LuckyBerry » Sun May 13, 2018 3:03 am

Zure wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:17 pm
LuckyBerry wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 10:54 am
- Just by the look of it, what are your impressions?
Well, it looks interesting and cute. And I really like the GUI~
- Any character that strikes your curiosity?
Umm, I guess Daisuke since he's the one described as "mysterious and out of place"? xD And also Mana with her suspiciously similar name to the protag (though maybe it's nothing of relevance? :roll:) and role as a mentor... Haha.
- Any chance that you'll want to follow the story?
Sure, this looks really nice and light, just my type of otome. And I haven't played Amnesia but if you started this with the idea of NOT having a passive type of MC, then that scores more points for me. Who likes to play as that sort of character really? Yeah, I'm interested in seeing how will Kyoko's story will unfold, it seems like since you specifically wanted to make a different type of MC, that this won't just be some cliché storm.
- Do you have any questions for me?
I guess not... Haha, sorry if this is really short but I'm kind of sleepy and I guess I'd rather play the demo before saying more. But yeah, as I said this has piqued my interest and I will be checking it out and returning with my thoughts once I've played the demo :)
Ooh thank you so much for your message LuckyBerry!

Regarding Mana, it is totally coincidental the similarity with Hana. Sorry for the misleading name, I just liked the sound of it!

Well, I do hope that I won't betray your expectations for the MC! I can just guarantee that she was quite funny to create :)

In any case, I will be very happy to hear your impressions once you've played the demo. It is my first time creating a VN from scratch so it is quite exciting :3

Oh okay :lol: Haha, so it was just me who was putting too much thought into the similarity of the names, huh :P Oh well. :mrgreen:

And no problem, I was quite interested in how this looked so I had to comment :) Oh and sorry for the late reply, I downloaded and played the demo a few days ago but I hadn't been able to log in here to give you my comments until today.

So well, since it's been a few days since I played this, my impressions aren't as fresh in my mind (I mean, I guess I could play it again but right now I'm not on the computer I have the game on...) but I'll do my best to give you a small review of the demo anyways (besides, I said I would, so... better do it now that I have time).

Okay, so first, talking about Kyoko... So far I think I like her, though I'd still have to see more of her to decide how much exactly I like her as a MC~ Same with all the other characters I guess, since their introductions were quite short but... I think that after seeing a bit about them that I'm the most interested in Kou ('cuzthefriendwho'ssecretlyinlovewiththeMCisjustsomethingIkindalike :lol:) and Tetsuya (thoughsinceit'sbeenafewdaysIdon'tquiterememberwhyjustthatIdoandthatheseemskinda
cuteaskingforadvicetoconfessandallthat). ThenI really went WTF when Shinji just spontaneously kissed Kyoko/Hana right there in front of everyone, and laughed a lot lol, so I'm also curious about him too, he seems like he could be kinda fun too, even if I'm not usually all over flirty guys in otome games. And well, somehow that "(MC's name) my loooove! *overly affectionate gesture here* *MC is like: "who are you???!!!*" scene reminded me a lot of a scene in a manga/anime I really love called Lovely Complex in which the main character experiences pretty much the same thing at one point except that instead of having a kiss stolen, she's glomped~ hehe. So that was funny.

I also liked Natsume and Mana, and the other guys I didn't mention seem nice too. I wonder how Haru's route will be handled though, with him being Hana's brother and all... Because even though Hana is being controlled by Kyoko, as she said, it... feels like that's going to be the "wincest route" :lol: :lol: So yeah.

Now onto my friendly criticisms/advice:

Hm, since I'm also a newbie at creating visual novels and writing, I don't think I have much useful advice to give in terms of that but one thing I think you should change is that instead of writing the actions of the characters (like sighing) in between asterisks you should describe them in a sentence. That way your narration will feel more... immersive and professional? The actions being in between asterisks is more something for roleplaying or directions in a playscript and is such a pet peeve of mine when I see in VNs :P

Also, when Kyoko was trying to come up with a portmanteau of her and Hana's name to refer to... herself? themselves? whatever they are now lol, the name she comes up with "KyoHana" kind of sounds wrong to me... and well, I'm by no means an expert on the Japanese language but somehow I thought that something like "Hanako" would have made more sense? IDK, just a thought I had on that :D

Ah~ I think I might edit my comment a bit after playing the demo again but yeah that's basically what I think about it. It seems like a nice game for a first one. I liked it enough to wait until it's finished :wink:

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Re: Another Story - an otome's path [Otome][GxB][Romance][Demo]

#6 Post by Zure » Tue May 15, 2018 6:09 pm

LuckyBerry wrote:
Sun May 13, 2018 3:03 am
Zure wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:17 pm
LuckyBerry wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 10:54 am
- Just by the look of it, what are your impressions?
Well, it looks interesting and cute. And I really like the GUI~
- Any character that strikes your curiosity?
Umm, I guess Daisuke since he's the one described as "mysterious and out of place"? xD And also Mana with her suspiciously similar name to the protag (though maybe it's nothing of relevance? :roll:) and role as a mentor... Haha.
- Any chance that you'll want to follow the story?
Sure, this looks really nice and light, just my type of otome. And I haven't played Amnesia but if you started this with the idea of NOT having a passive type of MC, then that scores more points for me. Who likes to play as that sort of character really? Yeah, I'm interested in seeing how will Kyoko's story will unfold, it seems like since you specifically wanted to make a different type of MC, that this won't just be some cliché storm.
- Do you have any questions for me?
I guess not... Haha, sorry if this is really short but I'm kind of sleepy and I guess I'd rather play the demo before saying more. But yeah, as I said this has piqued my interest and I will be checking it out and returning with my thoughts once I've played the demo :)
Ooh thank you so much for your message LuckyBerry!

Regarding Mana, it is totally coincidental the similarity with Hana. Sorry for the misleading name, I just liked the sound of it!

Well, I do hope that I won't betray your expectations for the MC! I can just guarantee that she was quite funny to create :)

In any case, I will be very happy to hear your impressions once you've played the demo. It is my first time creating a VN from scratch so it is quite exciting :3

Oh okay :lol: Haha, so it was just me who was putting too much thought into the similarity of the names, huh :P Oh well. :mrgreen:

And no problem, I was quite interested in how this looked so I had to comment :) Oh and sorry for the late reply, I downloaded and played the demo a few days ago but I hadn't been able to log in here to give you my comments until today.

So well, since it's been a few days since I played this, my impressions aren't as fresh in my mind (I mean, I guess I could play it again but right now I'm not on the computer I have the game on...) but I'll do my best to give you a small review of the demo anyways (besides, I said I would, so... better do it now that I have time).

Okay, so first, talking about Kyoko... So far I think I like her, though I'd still have to see more of her to decide how much exactly I like her as a MC~ Same with all the other characters I guess, since their introductions were quite short but... I think that after seeing a bit about them that I'm the most interested in Kou ('cuzthefriendwho'ssecretlyinlovewiththeMCisjustsomethingIkindalike :lol:) and Tetsuya (thoughsinceit'sbeenafewdaysIdon'tquiterememberwhyjustthatIdoandthatheseemskinda
cuteaskingforadvicetoconfessandallthat). ThenI really went WTF when Shinji just spontaneously kissed Kyoko/Hana right there in front of everyone, and laughed a lot lol, so I'm also curious about him too, he seems like he could be kinda fun too, even if I'm not usually all over flirty guys in otome games. And well, somehow that "(MC's name) my loooove! *overly affectionate gesture here* *MC is like: "who are you???!!!*" scene reminded me a lot of a scene in a manga/anime I really love called Lovely Complex in which the main character experiences pretty much the same thing at one point except that instead of having a kiss stolen, she's glomped~ hehe. So that was funny.

I also liked Natsume and Mana, and the other guys I didn't mention seem nice too. I wonder how Haru's route will be handled though, with him being Hana's brother and all... Because even though Hana is being controlled by Kyoko, as she said, it... feels like that's going to be the "wincest route" :lol: :lol: So yeah.

Now onto my friendly criticisms/advice:

Hm, since I'm also a newbie at creating visual novels and writing, I don't think I have much useful advice to give in terms of that but one thing I think you should change is that instead of writing the actions of the characters (like sighing) in between asterisks you should describe them in a sentence. That way your narration will feel more... immersive and professional? The actions being in between asterisks is more something for roleplaying or directions in a playscript and is such a pet peeve of mine when I see in VNs :P

Also, when Kyoko was trying to come up with a portmanteau of her and Hana's name to refer to... herself? themselves? whatever they are now lol, the name she comes up with "KyoHana" kind of sounds wrong to me... and well, I'm by no means an expert on the Japanese language but somehow I thought that something like "Hanako" would have made more sense? IDK, just a thought I had on that :D

Ah~ I think I might edit my comment a bit after playing the demo again but yeah that's basically what I think about it. It seems like a nice game for a first one. I liked it enough to wait until it's finished :wink:
No worries for the late reply! I was also very busy travelling last week :D

Thank you very much for your impressions and advices! It keeps me motivated to continue ^w^
I am quite happy to know the cast can be likeable! To be honest, I wasn't sure to keep Shinji nor Haru's route in the game since I wasn't fond of the flirty guy type and I also know the "wincest" is not particularly well perceived (but spoiler alert : like a lot of manga with this theme, do not judge a book by its cover even if you have to read it completely :mrgreen: ).

For "KyoHana", I admit it is not very cute and doesn't sound like a name but it kinda grew on my mind xD (But, do not worry, it won't be used often... beside myself in my head). I'll try to keep in mind your advices like removing the actions in between asterisks! I was used to see them in some visual novels that's why it didn't shocked me much at first :d

In any case, I'll try to finish one route before anything else! Kou seems to be the best candidate for this 8)
An otome game in production : https://another-story.sharuruzure.com
If you're interested, here is the associated topic: viewtopic.php?f=43&t=47928

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Re: Another Story - an otome's path [Otome][GxB][Romance][Demo]

#7 Post by LuckyBerry » Wed May 23, 2018 2:05 pm

Zure wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:09 pm
LuckyBerry wrote:
Sun May 13, 2018 3:03 am
Zure wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:17 pm


Ooh thank you so much for your message LuckyBerry!

Regarding Mana, it is totally coincidental the similarity with Hana. Sorry for the misleading name, I just liked the sound of it!

Well, I do hope that I won't betray your expectations for the MC! I can just guarantee that she was quite funny to create :)

In any case, I will be very happy to hear your impressions once you've played the demo. It is my first time creating a VN from scratch so it is quite exciting :3

Oh okay :lol: Haha, so it was just me who was putting too much thought into the similarity of the names, huh :P Oh well. :mrgreen:

And no problem, I was quite interested in how this looked so I had to comment :) Oh and sorry for the late reply, I downloaded and played the demo a few days ago but I hadn't been able to log in here to give you my comments until today.

So well, since it's been a few days since I played this, my impressions aren't as fresh in my mind (I mean, I guess I could play it again but right now I'm not on the computer I have the game on...) but I'll do my best to give you a small review of the demo anyways (besides, I said I would, so... better do it now that I have time).

Okay, so first, talking about Kyoko... So far I think I like her, though I'd still have to see more of her to decide how much exactly I like her as a MC~ Same with all the other characters I guess, since their introductions were quite short but... I think that after seeing a bit about them that I'm the most interested in Kou ('cuzthefriendwho'ssecretlyinlovewiththeMCisjustsomethingIkindalike :lol:) and Tetsuya (thoughsinceit'sbeenafewdaysIdon'tquiterememberwhyjustthatIdoandthatheseemskinda
cuteaskingforadvicetoconfessandallthat). ThenI really went WTF when Shinji just spontaneously kissed Kyoko/Hana right there in front of everyone, and laughed a lot lol, so I'm also curious about him too, he seems like he could be kinda fun too, even if I'm not usually all over flirty guys in otome games. And well, somehow that "(MC's name) my loooove! *overly affectionate gesture here* *MC is like: "who are you???!!!*" scene reminded me a lot of a scene in a manga/anime I really love called Lovely Complex in which the main character experiences pretty much the same thing at one point except that instead of having a kiss stolen, she's glomped~ hehe. So that was funny.

I also liked Natsume and Mana, and the other guys I didn't mention seem nice too. I wonder how Haru's route will be handled though, with him being Hana's brother and all... Because even though Hana is being controlled by Kyoko, as she said, it... feels like that's going to be the "wincest route" :lol: :lol: So yeah.

Now onto my friendly criticisms/advice:

Hm, since I'm also a newbie at creating visual novels and writing, I don't think I have much useful advice to give in terms of that but one thing I think you should change is that instead of writing the actions of the characters (like sighing) in between asterisks you should describe them in a sentence. That way your narration will feel more... immersive and professional? The actions being in between asterisks is more something for roleplaying or directions in a playscript and is such a pet peeve of mine when I see in VNs :P

Also, when Kyoko was trying to come up with a portmanteau of her and Hana's name to refer to... herself? themselves? whatever they are now lol, the name she comes up with "KyoHana" kind of sounds wrong to me... and well, I'm by no means an expert on the Japanese language but somehow I thought that something like "Hanako" would have made more sense? IDK, just a thought I had on that :D

Ah~ I think I might edit my comment a bit after playing the demo again but yeah that's basically what I think about it. It seems like a nice game for a first one. I liked it enough to wait until it's finished :wink:
No worries for the late reply! I was also very busy travelling last week :D

Thank you very much for your impressions and advices! It keeps me motivated to continue ^w^
I am quite happy to know the cast can be likeable! To be honest, I wasn't sure to keep Shinji nor Haru's route in the game since I wasn't fond of the flirty guy type and I also know the "wincest" is not particularly well perceived (but spoiler alert : like a lot of manga with this theme, do not judge a book by its cover even if you have to read it completely :mrgreen: ).

For "KyoHana", I admit it is not very cute and doesn't sound like a name but it kinda grew on my mind xD (But, do not worry, it won't be used often... beside myself in my head). I'll try to keep in mind your advices like removing the actions in between asterisks! I was used to see them in some visual novels that's why it didn't shocked me much at first :d

In any case, I'll try to finish one route before anything else! Kou seems to be the best candidate for this 8)
Whew, sorry for another late reply, I've not been able to be around here lately. Anyways:

As I said, I'm also usually not a fan of "the flirt" but I think you can make Shinji a funny character or something? I somehow sensed like his route could be one of those routes that are more humorous (probably it was his over-the-topness that lends itself to that :mrgreen:) and well, I like a nice laugh :) . As for Haru, well I was still going to play it because deep down I expected it to be more than "wincest" but also a part of me was wondering how things would be handled in the end :?: Heh, we'll have to see until it's finished :)

Haha ok, I guess it isn't something that would be too much of a problem, I was just thinking that maybe something else would probably sound better since I was doubting that in the Japanese language "KyoHana" would be a valid portmanteau of the two names but I am not 100% sure, and even if I am right, if you want to use it, that's fine :)

I know other people have used the actions between asterisks thing and well, people are allowed to write their script however they like but yeah, if you'd like to take the advice... I personally find it more powerful when even small actions like sighing or yawning or something are described ("I let out a big sigh, that's such a disappointment." or whatever) rather than just put there like that :mrgreen:

And you're welcome, I really hope you can finish your first project, I am also working on mine (well, several projects actually lol) and I know it's hard work so I'm glad my little comments were able to give you motivation :D

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