Fever Dream Sneak Peek

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Zodiac_Stories
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Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:26 pm
Completed: Flower of the North Star, Pnígike Paradise
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Fever Dream Sneak Peek

#1 Post by Zodiac_Stories »

Take a little sneak peek of Fever Dream! this is to only showcase the art and gameplay...it's gonna be a really short play through but I hope you enjoy! https://cloudnovel.net/viewtopic?t=9762
I make worlds filled with Monsters so you can be the Hero

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bobconway
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Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2017 12:53 pm
Completed: Whale's Waldo, Xenopathy, YAGS, Earth Boys are Easy, Charles 2.0, YAGS Booty Call
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Re: Fever Dream Sneak Peek

#2 Post by bobconway »

You could use an editor. There are quite a few typos and errors, even in this short demo:
- "Some images may be discerning for some viewers"
- "...there's a Fairy named Inra, she can help"
- "Bar-bar as given you a list of ingredients"
- "Here, take this..only use it if you must"
- "This a picture of Mama, Papa, Annie and me!"

Also some other notes:
- Showing Marry's portrait when Bar-Bar and Annie are talking is confusing
- The game kind of just dumps you into things. Which is fine, but you should make sure you fill in more details as part of the game as things go. Like: Who is Bar-Bar and why is he a living toy? Why happened to Annie? How is the fairy going to help?
- It's extremely hard to tell which elements in the room are clickable and which aren't... your background needs to be distinguished from these items somehow. (Yes, hovering over them shows tooltips, but it's not obvious what items are hoverable in the first place.) Maybe grey out the background once you fade in the room elements?
- The can of water in the inventory is not clickable

But looks like a promising start. Good luck!
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See my other games here or find me on Twitter

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Zodiac_Stories
Newbie
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:26 pm
Completed: Flower of the North Star, Pnígike Paradise
IRC Nick: Zodie
Deviantart: EillaThePortalMaker
itch: https://zodiacstorie
Contact:

Re: Fever Dream Sneak Peek

#3 Post by Zodiac_Stories »

bobconway wrote: Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:11 pm You could use an editor. There are quite a few typos and errors, even in this short demo:
- "Some images may be discerning for some viewers"
- "...there's a Fairy named Inra, she can help"
- "Bar-bar as given you a list of ingredients"
- "Here, take this..only use it if you must"
- "This a picture of Mama, Papa, Annie and me!"

Also some other notes:
- Showing Marry's portrait when Bar-Bar and Annie are talking is confusing
- The game kind of just dumps you into things. Which is fine, but you should make sure you fill in more details as part of the game as things go. Like: Who is Bar-Bar and why is he a living toy? Why happened to Annie? How is the fairy going to help?
- It's extremely hard to tell which elements in the room are clickable and which aren't... your background needs to be distinguished from these items somehow. (Yes, hovering over them shows tooltips, but it's not obvious what items are hoverable in the first place.) Maybe grey out the background once you fade in the room elements?
- The can of water in the inventory is not clickable

But looks like a promising start. Good luck!
Thank yo for the feed back :3
I make worlds filled with Monsters so you can be the Hero

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