Thanks for the response! I can say that many of the questions you've presented are actually answered to some degree in the demo (with the full explanations coming to light in the full version), and as such can't necessarily answer them all here without delving into spoiler territory. That said, I will answer what I can here to the best of my abilities.
gekiganwing wrote: ↑Wed May 02, 2018 2:53 pm
GengaJupite wrote: ↑Fri Apr 27, 2018 7:16 pmHe lives alone in an apartment paid for by his parents who work very demanding jobs in a nearby city.
This is one way to have a teenage character living without parental supervision, and not in a dangerous situation. Would the story change in any way if one or both of his parents were present? Would the story be affected if Leo was living with another relative or a roommate?
In short, yes, having a roommate or family member would affect things fairly significantly. In the beginning, it might not be much of an issue, but as the narrative goes along, including another tenant would complicate both the storytelling and the later events in the story.
gekiganwing wrote: ↑Wed May 02, 2018 2:53 pm
* Why are the heroines unattached as well as attracted to Leo? I can understand why Ashe would be single, since she apparently lives in isolation and has health issues. That said, consider addressing why the heroines aren't pursuing relationships with some other guy (or girl). While you're at it, think about what makes Leo exceptional as a protagonist. Is he wealthy, charismatic, talented, famous, or something else?
Again, with the story's basis fairly fleshed out already, almost all of these questions are either addressed in the demo or have already been solved and are being saved for later parts of the VN.
The nature of the girls' attraction to Leo (and not someone else) is integral to the plot itself and the entire reason why he even becomes involved with them in the first place. In contrast to this, Leo's somewhat unexceptional character is meant to be a building point off why each girl is drawn to him. Again, this delves quite deep into spoiler territory and revealing any more than this would be thoughtless of me.
gekiganwing wrote: ↑Wed May 02, 2018 2:53 pm
* Would the story benefit if the protagonist had a romantic rival who's competent and intelligent?
In short, no. There are no romantic rivals due to the nature of the girls specifically being drawn to Leo. I do hope this is clear that I by no means am saying that they are all attracted to him romantically; rather, they each have their own reasons for seeking him out.
That said, I've only highlighted the main characters above, and there are actually more characters than I have featured in this post.
gekiganwing wrote: ↑Wed May 02, 2018 2:53 pm
* Pacing: let's say the story starts during late May. How much time does Leo have to act? If he doesn't solve a mystery or develop a relationship by July, will there be any consequences? Will the story offer any suspense?
Again, this is a timeline based around the setting and the heroines themselves, delving into spoiler territory while also being addressed in the demo. Essentially, the time limit he has to act is by/at the next Starfall, scheduled for sometime late in the summer. I'd say the suspense aspect is most prevalent in the Common Route while he is still getting to know the heroines before it becomes more about developing relationships with them in the individual routes.
gekiganwing wrote: ↑Wed May 02, 2018 2:53 pm
* Setting: what will make it memorable? What events and activities are nearby?
The Starfall, Leo's club activities (choice based), events with the heroines (due to the nature of their characters), the setting itself and its relation to the characters. Supernatural is a major genre in this story, and plays an equal, if not greater role on the story to romance.
gekiganwing wrote: ↑Wed May 02, 2018 2:53 pm
* Will Leo benefit by becoming friends with everyone? Or will he benefit by focusing on one heroine and ignoring the others?
Neither, though I can say that (once again, due to the nature of the heroines' characters) Leo is guaranteed to have a fairly deep understanding of at least four of the heroines by the time the individual routes begin. At that time, his focus simply shifts to one of them in particular, though the others may or may not still play an integral role.
gekiganwing wrote: ↑Wed May 02, 2018 2:53 pm
GengaJupite wrote: ↑Fri Apr 27, 2018 7:16 pmChildren of Cosmos is a traditional visual novel in which the story unfolds based on multiple choices the player makes along the way. While utilizing tropes that VN enthusiasts are familiar with, we hope to create something that is entertaining and unique to the high school romance genre.
I've become used to the setup of "make choices every now and then. Most of them matter, and they eventually lead to an ending." I have also enjoyed some visual novels in which the protag's stats influence what happens in the story. That said, earlier this year, I tried a visual novel that's a bit different: Minecraft Story Mode. It had an above average amount of graphic adventure game elements, but what surprised me most was that the reader could not load a previous save in order to reconsider a choice. The reader had to live with their (timed) choices.
Have you been influenced by other VNs, narrative games, interactive fiction, and so on? If so, then think about what you liked about how other creators presented their stories.
This VN has actually been in the works for a few years now, but due to a wide range of circumstances, our pace has been inconsistent. We've managed to get ourselves to a point where we can work consistently again, and the basis of the VN has always been that we are simply a group of amateurs looking to create something new both for ourselves and for whatever audience will be happy to receive it. We aren't necessarily looking to innovate or push boundaries; rather, we simply hope to put something on our creative resumes and be able to say that we have collaborated on a finished product that we can all be proud of.