Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

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sutorijam
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Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#1 Post by sutorijam » Tue May 01, 2018 6:35 pm

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Started project on 13th April.

Sutori Jam Studio's aim to create enticing stories that allow our readers to be part of the protagonist's life within the game. Our target is to hold the highest quality in art, writing, music and other areas of aspect.

This is you chance to help our game move from idea to development to complete visual novel.

Not only will this campaign fund the development of this game, it will also allow us to fund voice acting either in japanese or english, and if possible, both! We have scouted a few voice actors which we felt it would be life to our characters!

Memories Within : BNB is a romance and drama visual novel with multiple branching ending. A choice-driven gameplay that affects the story and ending.


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Story
Memories Within : BNB

A 11-year old girl have not much time to live, knowing this she wishes for her father to find someone who he can spend time with before the end of her life. Her only fear is what will become of her father when she is gone.

In this game you play as the single parent father who is taking care of his daughter in a farm which is a Bed and Breakfast for guest who wish to escape from the city life and to recharge and rethink their life. His daughter who shared her concern with him prompted him to decide to get back into the dating scene once more.

However by doing this he would lose time that should be spent with his daughter last days.

He will soon meet his new guest at his farm. Each guest have their own deep-seated wounds if their past and the player have the choices to open or close a door or opportunities. Decisions will affect the people staying their including your daughter and wrong moves may lead to death to certain characters.




Characters:
Player (Ed Murray)
Daughter (Claire Murray)

BNB Guest:
Elodie Gauthier (West Wing - Formless Studio) (Social Anxiety Disorder)
Akizuki Asuka (West Wing - Formless Studio)
Taniguchi Rei (East Wing - Formless Studio)
Eve Ng (East Wing - Formless Studio) (Post-Traumatic Stress Discorder)

Stretch Goals:
Mariya Karpenko (East Wing)

Liam Shengon (East Wing) (Dissociative disorders)
Miguel Loke (East Wing)

Darren Chou (West Wing) (Depression)

Rochelle Mitchell (West Wing) (Schizophrenia)


Character Profile

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CG Art

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Background

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Music

Composed by: Alyx
Translated by: Rito
Sung by: Reichuu

To be uploaded.
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If you are interested in our projects or want to find out more do visit our social media pages at twitter, instagram, facebook and patreon.


I would really want to know everyone's opinion. Anything would help. I am afraid this might not work out.

Feel free to give a suggestion, it will help to improve the game.
Your feedback is appreciated!

1. Any first impression? In Any areas~
2. How is the outline for you?
3. What do you think can be improved on...
4. Any other questions?

Last edited by sutorijam on Fri Jun 01, 2018 5:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#2 Post by Zelan » Mon May 21, 2018 2:29 pm

1. Any first impression? In Any areas~: I like the protagonist. I don't think I've ever seen a BxG VN (or any VN, actually) where you play as a single parent, and it's a really nice change.

2. How is the outline for you?: It's pretty skimpy.

3. What do you think can be improved on...: A little more information about the plot would be nice.

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Re: Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#3 Post by gekiganwing » Fri May 25, 2018 8:05 pm

sutorijam wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:35 pm
In this game you play as the single parent father who is taking care of his daughter in a farm which is a Bed and Breakfast for guest who wish to escape from the city life and to recharge and rethink their life. His daughter who shared her concern with him prompted him to decide to get back into the dating scene once more. However by doing this he would lose time that should be spent with his daughter last days.
1. Following what Zelan said, parent protagonists are uncommon in visual novels. There's only a single page of relevant titles with a (partial) English edition on the VNDB.

2. Think about whether protagonist Ed has an established personality. If not, does the reader determine who he is? Or is he more of a blank slate?

3. Think about how to portray his daughter Claire. I write this because I don't know how to write a person who might have weeks to live. Or a person who wants to be a matchmaker for their parent.

4. Nine years ago, there was a movie called Funny People. It starts with a protagonist who believes he has about a year to live. Then a plot twist happens. This might be an odd example of another published work about dying, but it might be worth watching.
sutorijam wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:35 pm
He will soon meet his new guest at his farm. Each guest have their own deep-seated wounds if their past and the player have the choices to open or close a door or opportunities. Decisions will affect the people staying their including your daughter and wrong moves may lead to death to certain characters.
1. Consider mapping out your story. Write a flowchart in order to stay organized, and make sure decisions lead to logical outcomes.

2. Think about how decisions relate to the protagonist's behavior. If he interacts with all three heroines, does that mean "he's making friends with everyone," or does that mean "he can't decide who he likes most"? If he focuses on only one heroine, does that mean "he's mature enough to pick a love interest," or does that mean "he's obsessing over one woman and stalking her"?

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sutorijam
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Re: Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#4 Post by sutorijam » Fri Jun 01, 2018 3:12 pm

Zelan wrote:
Mon May 21, 2018 2:29 pm
1. Any first impression? In Any areas~: I like the protagonist. I don't think I've ever seen a BxG VN (or any VN, actually) where you play as a single parent, and it's a really nice change.

2. How is the outline for you?: It's pretty skimpy.

3. What do you think can be improved on...: A little more information about the plot would be nice.
gekiganwing wrote:
Fri May 25, 2018 8:05 pm
sutorijam wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:35 pm
In this game you play as the single parent father who is taking care of his daughter in a farm which is a Bed and Breakfast for guest who wish to escape from the city life and to recharge and rethink their life. His daughter who shared her concern with him prompted him to decide to get back into the dating scene once more. However by doing this he would lose time that should be spent with his daughter last days.
1. Following what Zelan said, parent protagonists are uncommon in visual novels. There's only a single page of relevant titles with a (partial) English edition on the VNDB.

2. Think about whether protagonist Ed has an established personality. If not, does the reader determine who he is? Or is he more of a blank slate?

3. Think about how to portray his daughter Claire. I write this because I don't know how to write a person who might have weeks to live. Or a person who wants to be a matchmaker for their parent.

4. Nine years ago, there was a movie called Funny People. It starts with a protagonist who believes he has about a year to live. Then a plot twist happens. This might be an odd example of another published work about dying, but it might be worth watching.
sutorijam wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:35 pm
He will soon meet his new guest at his farm. Each guest have their own deep-seated wounds if their past and the player have the choices to open or close a door or opportunities. Decisions will affect the people staying their including your daughter and wrong moves may lead to death to certain characters.
1. Consider mapping out your story. Write a flowchart in order to stay organized, and make sure decisions lead to logical outcomes.

2. Think about how decisions relate to the protagonist's behavior. If he interacts with all three heroines, does that mean "he's making friends with everyone," or does that mean "he can't decide who he likes most"? If he focuses on only one heroine, does that mean "he's mature enough to pick a love interest," or does that mean "he's obsessing over one woman and stalking her"?

Thank you for the feedback will update more info soon.

We just finalized the information and the background for the characters again and we have finished one of the finalize character art.

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Re: Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#5 Post by RedRobotix » Fri Jun 08, 2018 10:23 am

1. Any first impression? In Any areas~

The art looks fantastic, backgrounds, sprites, and all. I've heard Alyx's work before - and they're a talented composer - so this project looks like it will pan out to be a treat, both visually and musically :D

2. How is the outline for you?

The outline sounds heavy - parenting is a subject seldom seen in VN development, and adding in character death based on your actions really feels like it'll bring a lot of weight to a playthrough. Doesn't seem like it's a game or story for everybody, but the outline makes me think that this story clearly has a focus, and that's good.

3. What do you think can be improved on...

An in depth explanation on how Ed's character will function would be good. As gekiganwing mentioned - it would be good to determine the player's agency as Ed when playing the game.

I might also suggest a quick proof-read of some of the character profiles read a bit weird (spelling is correct, sentence flow is off).

4. Any other questions?

Do you have a potential release date?
Logo art by Irlana, other art by Thomas Gallagher.

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