Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, DATING SIMULATION, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

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sutorijam
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Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, DATING SIMULATION, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#1 Post by sutorijam » Tue May 01, 2018 6:35 pm

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Romance, Comedy, Drama and an Emotional Rollercoaster

Memories Within: BNB is a visual novel with dating elements allowing the player to move about and arrange a day or night out with specific characters in the game.
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You play as Ed Murray, a former professional pianist who has left his past life aside after your wife passed away when your daughter was born. 11 years have passed, Claire, your daughter has lived a peaceful life at the farm which your family owned for many generations.

The both of you decided to open the farm and house as a Bed and Breakfast inviting people from different walks of life to enjoy the scenic life.

During this period you will have to entertain your guest and if possible maybe a future Mrs. Murray. Make the right decisions to balance your relationship between your daughter, guest, and the farm.

Genre: Romance, Drama, Comedy

Romance: B x G

Rating:
16+

Features:

Your Choice affects relationships and story
Multiple routes and endings
5 Romanceable Characters (Possible Additional Characters)
Interactive phone and text system for dates
Exploration System
Relationship management between guests
High-Quality Artwork
Partial Voice Acting (Stretch Goal: Full Voice Acting)
Beautiful OST

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Height Chart of the Current Characters


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BNB Piano Room Interior
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Dirt Road to the BNB Entrance
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BNB Kitchen Interior
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Beach Town's Beach

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Banana French Toast


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Alpha Demo will be release 10 days before end of Kickstarter.


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Our plan to create 4 different wallpaper for our supporters. This is just an example.

We will be approaching Alyx including Bou to help in creating more music hoping to have a new updated version of the Original Sound Track.

https://soundcloud.com/user-36132053/se ... ies-within


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Sutori Jam Studio's aim to create enticing stories that allow our readers to be part of the protagonist's life within the game. Our target is to hold the highest quality in art, writing, music and other areas of aspect.

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Feel free to follow or join us:

Twitter

https://twitter.com/sutorijam

Discord

https://discord.gg/gY49mHS

Itch.io

https://sutorijam.itch.io/memories-within-bnb

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/sutorijam
Last edited by sutorijam on Thu Jun 28, 2018 12:05 pm, edited 6 times in total.

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Re: Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#2 Post by Zelan » Mon May 21, 2018 2:29 pm

1. Any first impression? In Any areas~: I like the protagonist. I don't think I've ever seen a BxG VN (or any VN, actually) where you play as a single parent, and it's a really nice change.

2. How is the outline for you?: It's pretty skimpy.

3. What do you think can be improved on...: A little more information about the plot would be nice.

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Re: Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#3 Post by gekiganwing » Fri May 25, 2018 8:05 pm

sutorijam wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:35 pm
In this game you play as the single parent father who is taking care of his daughter in a farm which is a Bed and Breakfast for guest who wish to escape from the city life and to recharge and rethink their life. His daughter who shared her concern with him prompted him to decide to get back into the dating scene once more. However by doing this he would lose time that should be spent with his daughter last days.
1. Following what Zelan said, parent protagonists are uncommon in visual novels. There's only a single page of relevant titles with a (partial) English edition on the VNDB.

2. Think about whether protagonist Ed has an established personality. If not, does the reader determine who he is? Or is he more of a blank slate?

3. Think about how to portray his daughter Claire. I write this because I don't know how to write a person who might have weeks to live. Or a person who wants to be a matchmaker for their parent.

4. Nine years ago, there was a movie called Funny People. It starts with a protagonist who believes he has about a year to live. Then a plot twist happens. This might be an odd example of another published work about dying, but it might be worth watching.
sutorijam wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:35 pm
He will soon meet his new guest at his farm. Each guest have their own deep-seated wounds if their past and the player have the choices to open or close a door or opportunities. Decisions will affect the people staying their including your daughter and wrong moves may lead to death to certain characters.
1. Consider mapping out your story. Write a flowchart in order to stay organized, and make sure decisions lead to logical outcomes.

2. Think about how decisions relate to the protagonist's behavior. If he interacts with all three heroines, does that mean "he's making friends with everyone," or does that mean "he can't decide who he likes most"? If he focuses on only one heroine, does that mean "he's mature enough to pick a love interest," or does that mean "he's obsessing over one woman and stalking her"?

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Re: Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#4 Post by sutorijam » Fri Jun 01, 2018 3:12 pm

Zelan wrote:
Mon May 21, 2018 2:29 pm
1. Any first impression? In Any areas~: I like the protagonist. I don't think I've ever seen a BxG VN (or any VN, actually) where you play as a single parent, and it's a really nice change.

2. How is the outline for you?: It's pretty skimpy.

3. What do you think can be improved on...: A little more information about the plot would be nice.
gekiganwing wrote:
Fri May 25, 2018 8:05 pm
sutorijam wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:35 pm
In this game you play as the single parent father who is taking care of his daughter in a farm which is a Bed and Breakfast for guest who wish to escape from the city life and to recharge and rethink their life. His daughter who shared her concern with him prompted him to decide to get back into the dating scene once more. However by doing this he would lose time that should be spent with his daughter last days.
1. Following what Zelan said, parent protagonists are uncommon in visual novels. There's only a single page of relevant titles with a (partial) English edition on the VNDB.

2. Think about whether protagonist Ed has an established personality. If not, does the reader determine who he is? Or is he more of a blank slate?

3. Think about how to portray his daughter Claire. I write this because I don't know how to write a person who might have weeks to live. Or a person who wants to be a matchmaker for their parent.

4. Nine years ago, there was a movie called Funny People. It starts with a protagonist who believes he has about a year to live. Then a plot twist happens. This might be an odd example of another published work about dying, but it might be worth watching.
sutorijam wrote:
Tue May 01, 2018 6:35 pm
He will soon meet his new guest at his farm. Each guest have their own deep-seated wounds if their past and the player have the choices to open or close a door or opportunities. Decisions will affect the people staying their including your daughter and wrong moves may lead to death to certain characters.
1. Consider mapping out your story. Write a flowchart in order to stay organized, and make sure decisions lead to logical outcomes.

2. Think about how decisions relate to the protagonist's behavior. If he interacts with all three heroines, does that mean "he's making friends with everyone," or does that mean "he can't decide who he likes most"? If he focuses on only one heroine, does that mean "he's mature enough to pick a love interest," or does that mean "he's obsessing over one woman and stalking her"?

Thank you for the feedback will update more info soon.

We just finalized the information and the background for the characters again and we have finished one of the finalize character art.

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Re: Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#5 Post by RedRobotix » Fri Jun 08, 2018 10:23 am

1. Any first impression? In Any areas~

The art looks fantastic, backgrounds, sprites, and all. I've heard Alyx's work before - and they're a talented composer - so this project looks like it will pan out to be a treat, both visually and musically :D

2. How is the outline for you?

The outline sounds heavy - parenting is a subject seldom seen in VN development, and adding in character death based on your actions really feels like it'll bring a lot of weight to a playthrough. Doesn't seem like it's a game or story for everybody, but the outline makes me think that this story clearly has a focus, and that's good.

3. What do you think can be improved on...

An in depth explanation on how Ed's character will function would be good. As gekiganwing mentioned - it would be good to determine the player's agency as Ed when playing the game.

I might also suggest a quick proof-read of some of the character profiles read a bit weird (spelling is correct, sentence flow is off).

4. Any other questions?

Do you have a potential release date?
Logo art by Irlana, other art by Thomas Gallagher.

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sutorijam
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Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2018 11:06 am
Completed: C.O.R.E
Projects: Memories Within: BNB
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Re: Memories Within: BNB [BxG][ DRAMA, ROMANCE, BRANCHING]

#6 Post by sutorijam » Wed Jun 27, 2018 8:17 pm

RedRobotix wrote:
Fri Jun 08, 2018 10:23 am
1. Any first impression? In Any areas~

The art looks fantastic, backgrounds, sprites, and all. I've heard Alyx's work before - and they're a talented composer - so this project looks like it will pan out to be a treat, both visually and musically :D

2. How is the outline for you?

The outline sounds heavy - parenting is a subject seldom seen in VN development, and adding in character death based on your actions really feels like it'll bring a lot of weight to a playthrough. Doesn't seem like it's a game or story for everybody, but the outline makes me think that this story clearly has a focus, and that's good.

3. What do you think can be improved on...

An in depth explanation on how Ed's character will function would be good. As gekiganwing mentioned - it would be good to determine the player's agency as Ed when playing the game.

I might also suggest a quick proof-read of some of the character profiles read a bit weird (spelling is correct, sentence flow is off).

4. Any other questions?

Do you have a potential release date?
Thanks! I just updated everything again and I hope it is better explained now. Would love more feedback and comments.

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