An Edelweiss' Resolve [GxB] [Urban-Fantasy] [School Life]

A place for game announcements, and for people to discuss games being made.
Forum rules
Please read the sticky before creating a new topic. Linking to Kickstarter/Crowdfunded games requires a demo.
Post Reply
Message
Author
chocochino
Newbie
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:29 am
Projects: An Edelweiss' Resolve
Tumblr: choc-chino
Github: chocochino
Soundcloud: chocochino
itch: chocochino
Location: Indonesia
Contact:

An Edelweiss' Resolve [GxB] [Urban-Fantasy] [School Life]

#1 Post by chocochino » Fri May 18, 2018 12:40 pm

Hello! This was initially a college group project I did for a class, and turns out I really like writing for VN! Since this is my first project (and unbeta'ed), I want to ask you guys how should I improve it. Please give me the critics I need!
AER logo - Copy.png
After living your whole life as a normal high school student, a fateful meeting with a powerful witch shows that you are actually a witch, too! And now she hired you as her apprentice while paying for education in a better school that teaches magic... and giving you a chance to meet magic casters like you.

Also, what's with the atmosphere saying danger everywhere? Is it because people despises witches as the fairytale's villain, or because of the rumors about students being kidnapped?


Download here! Walkthrough here

Features:
  • 40,000+ words better love story than Twilight, since you can actually date the vampire AND the werewolf.
  • Nameable protagonist with no default name (because we want to).
  • Three bachelors to choose, with good and bad ending for each route.
  • Lots of choices (some of them might drastically alter the conclusion).
Characters
johann.PNG
johann.PNG (78.7 KiB) Viewed 504 times
alaric.PNG
kieran.PNG

Important note: Kieran (the vampire)'s route is locked at the first playthrough; you have to finish at least one ending from Johann or Alaric's route to unlock his route. The recommended playing order is Johann -> Alaric -> Kieran.
although if you're here only for the story, Johann's route can be skipped since Kieran's story will explains everything
Screenshots:
screenshot0002.png
screenshot0006.png
screenshot0008.png
screenshot0007.png

You are encouraged to answer these questions so I know how should I improve:
  1. Which one is your favorite route and ending? Why?
  2. Are there parts of the story that should be extended or cut? Why?
  3. How about the character development? Which part should be improved more?
  4. Was the conflict interesting enough? Are there scenes that should be developed more?
And lastly, thank you for playing!
Last edited by chocochino on Thu May 24, 2018 12:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
crystalscm
Regular
Posts: 79
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:43 am
Projects: "Love" Therapy, Heart:Replica
Organization: Dokimomo Circle
Contact:

Re: An Edelweiss' Resolve [GxB] [Urban-Fantasy] [School Life]

#2 Post by crystalscm » Sun May 20, 2018 3:41 pm

I downloaded this and played Johann's route so far!
He was a very cute character in his own way; I enjoyed him a lot. Right now, I'm working on Alaric.
I can give you my thoughts in more detail once I finish all the routes.

This may just be me and every game, but I was a bit sad at Johann's good end, how it just ended there.
I wish I could have spent a bit more time with him. To me, it felt a bit sudden, but this was a college project, so I imagine deadlines had to be met.

That said, just from reading one play through, I can see grammar errors or kind of awkward wordings.
If I can help or anything though, please feel free to hit me up, and I can be your proofreader if you'd like, as I'm a native English speaker!

chocochino
Newbie
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Jan 24, 2018 3:29 am
Projects: An Edelweiss' Resolve
Tumblr: choc-chino
Github: chocochino
Soundcloud: chocochino
itch: chocochino
Location: Indonesia
Contact:

Re: An Edelweiss' Resolve [GxB] [Urban-Fantasy] [School Life]

#3 Post by chocochino » Wed May 23, 2018 11:23 pm

Thank you for playing! Johann's ending was kind of hanging because teacher-student relationship is quite a dangerous thread to walk on, especially when the game is going to be submitted to teachers. Anyway, I'm surprised anyone would call him cute! Well, I also think he's kinda cute after his past got revealed, too...

Alaric and Kieran's good ending can be quite hard to get, so I'm currently writing a walkthrough.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: XxrenxX