Nijowari: Where Angels Fall [GxG][PLOT DRIVEN][SCI-FI][SLICE OF LIFE][MATURE CONTENT] [+18]

[Kyoki Chiho]

About

This story starts with a few lines about the birth of America. Then, it jumps to 2021, where we meet William, a youngster with a calling and regional patriotism.

Very quickly, news bulletin confirmed, most of the Pacific coastline secedes and the Second American Revolution is underway.

As William ponders what to do with his now upside down life, he learns the awful truth of Japanese internment during World War Two, a horrid fact that seals his resolve.

William pledges to burn his draft card, issued to all males on their 12th birthday, as he realizes that home is where the heart is.

His resolution peaks when the acting Chairman of the Republic of Oregon, also known as Cascadia, summons him to Portland, the provisional capital, to give a speech and change history.

There, his life as an activist begins, making his world and everything around him take a turn he had never, nor could have, anticipated.

Then we meet Rhysling McKenzie, another MC of this story.

He is a first wave Millennial, halfway through his master's degree in history by the time the Global Financial Crisis peaks. He has to drop out and already has massive student loan debt owing to the government.

Rhys watches society unravel over the next dozen years, including Washington's two fatal blunders that initiate the beginning of the end.

Finally, now in 2046, we travel to Nijowari, the super high tech city of the future to meet Adeia, an ordinary girl with no special traits as she enters a world she never knew could exist.

Screenshots
MAIN MENU

A SCENE

A SPRITE

A BACKGROUND

ANOTHER BACKGROUND (this one's a GIF)

Feedback

• Has Nijowari managed to pique your interest?

• Why would you back a Kickstarter campaign? The rewards or the interest for the project?

• If it's because the rewards, what content would satisfy you? Exclusive artwork/extras or physical assets?

Thanks for showing interest in this project!
Don't hesitate to let me know what you think in the comments

[Aniknk]

Looks nice. I like main menu picture, girls project, and animated background.

[papillon]

You call it GxG up top but most of your intro is talking about male characters, their backgrounds, their hopes and feelings.

Is this actually a male protagonist or BxG game?

You call it 'plot-driven' and 'slice of life' at the same time. These are, as far as I know, basically opposites? Slice-of-life usually means the action is extremely slow and we're mostly just hanging out with the characters going about their daily lives. Plot-driven would imply that there's a big story and that we're pushing towards a goal. Having a big dramatic plot that comes to a crashing halt in order to sit in a coffee shop doing slice of life is usually very frustrating. Can you describe more of what you meant by these terms?

Personally there's not enough information here for me to be interested in a kickstarter at all. I don't know what your story is about, and what information you have presented confuses me. I don't see any clear hooks to tell me what's exciting about it. What's the main draw supposed to be?

[Kyoki Chiho]

Hello papillon. First of all, thanks for showing interest. Now I'll proceed to answer your questions:

You call it GxG up top but most of your intro is talking about male characters, their backgrounds, their hopes and feelings.

This game is divided in three parts (or arcs), one arc per protagonist (or MC). There are two male MC and one female MC. The focus on this game is on the female MC, hence the GxG. I guess that should be stressed out.

Is this actually a male protagonist or BxG game?

No, this is not a BxG game. Again, the female MC arc is the longest one.

You call it 'plot-driven' and 'slice of life' at the same time. These are, as far as I know, basically opposites? Slice-of-life usually means the action is extremely slow and we're mostly just hanging out with the characters going about their daily lives. Plot-driven would imply that there's a big story and that we're pushing towards a goal. Having a big dramatic plot that comes to a crashing halt in order to sit in a coffee shop doing slice of life is usually very frustrating. Can you describe more of what you meant by these terms?

They may be opposites, but that doesn't mean they can't co-exist. Since there are different MC, the stories are also different. Each story has its own pace. Also, the slice of life I present is absolutely not what you expect. The action is slow, yes, but as you have said, it's slowly pushing toward a goal.
Don't worry, they won't sit in a coffee shop to talk about their stuff

Personally there's not enough information here for me to be interested in a kickstarter at all. I don't know what your story is about, and what information you have presented confuses me. I don't see any clear hooks to tell me what's exciting about it. What's the main draw supposed to be?

The problem with the story is that it's a minefield of spoilers. I cannot give too many details because I might reveal an important turning point.

What else would you like to know? I will try to explain the story a little bit more.

[Kyoki Chiho]

Looks nice. I like main menu picture, girls project, and animated background.

Aniknk, thanks for your kind words

[papillon]

Yeah, the spoiler thing is always complicated because it pains us as writers to ruin our own reveals. But especially when talking about fundraising it's often important to give more away in order to spark people's interest. It doesn't have to be too clear, though. Hints and vague out-of-context things sometimes help. Screenshots of exciting things happening (without the full context to explain exactly what's going on) can be intriguing. Or promo text about how "x, y or z" might happen - and some of those might be things that actually never will happen, but they help set the player's expectations for what kind of game they're getting into. Are we overthrowing the government? Fighting to stay alive in a nightmare dystopia? Working to uncover conspiracies?

Also, when it comes to spoilers in the promo text, if the spoiler isn't too detailed, people often forget all about it by the time they play the game. I've often seen reviewers shocked by content that was openly mentioned in the game's blurb, because when they were playing it they got sucked into the story and totally forgot that the blurb mentioned a killer earthquake or whatever (fake example).

Anyway, you don't have to rewrite things to please me, just letting you know my initial reactions. Good luck!

[Kyoki Chiho]

Yeah, the spoiler thing is always complicated because it pains us as writers to ruin our own reveals. But especially when talking about fundraising it's often important to give more away in order to spark people's interest. It doesn't have to be too clear, though. Hints and vague out-of-context things sometimes help. Screenshots of exciting things happening (without the full context to explain exactly what's going on) can be intriguing. Or promo text about how "x, y or z" might happen - and some of those might be things that actually never will happen, but they help set the player's expectations for what kind of game they're getting into. Are we overthrowing the government? Fighting to stay alive in a nightmare dystopia? Working to uncover conspiracies?

Also, when it comes to spoilers in the promo text, if the spoiler isn't too detailed, people often forget all about it by the time they play the game. I've often seen reviewers shocked by content that was openly mentioned in the game's blurb, because when they were playing it they got sucked into the story and totally forgot that the blurb mentioned a killer earthquake or whatever (fake example).

Anyway, you don't have to rewrite things to please me, just letting you know my initial reactions. Good luck!

I will take into account your suggestions. Thank you

But really, you cannot imagine the magnitude of the spoilers

By the way, I'm looking for some "beta-readers" in case you are interested.