However, I'm having some doubts about the story and the main character's personality. I'm thinking that maybe I should scrap some of the big ideas and take another approach instead. As someone who tends to be insanely overly-critical about my own work though, I have no idea if I'm just over-thinking this or not, and maybe the story isn't actually as bad as I feel it is so far. I am in desperate need of some outside, level-headed feedback. Because if there are some fundamental issues already, I would rather re-write a large chunk of the game now than when it's half-finished.
Screenshots of the Visual Novel WIP:
Currently completed assets: Character Sprites, a few BGs, 3 custom songs
Unfinished assets: Main Menu & GUI, Map navigation menu, all CGs, more songs and BGs
Story & Setting:
The game's protagonist is Freya, a girl who wakes up from a deep slumber in an abyss, surprised that she's still alive. She doesn't remember what led to her sleeping in the void. After a strange voice begins speaking to her as if it knows her, she accepts its help, taking its hand and then awaking in a dim, gloomy forest where she runs into a demon and then meets the Shadow Lord (Vhaagar), the ruler of the forest.
((Not a great summary tbh, but it's a very psychological game so it's actually hard to describe, LOL.))
The game works as an old-school dating sim with a map-based navigation menu, and Freya being able to cook meals and gift them to the love interests, and read books in the library and talk about the subjects with them as well. The game is split into 3 major parts - the first 2 parts have 1 different love interest in addition to the Shadow Lord. (Getting highest affection with the Shadow Lord just continues the game into part 2 and then 3.)
Here's the spoilers for what's really going on: (using spoiler tag in case anyone wants to just play the demo for themselves first before knowing):
So, the Shadow Lord actually is Freya's "other half," so to speak. She represents his "heart," and he represents her "strength." Together, they are one single person. The Shadow Realm is basically representing an internal state of loneliness and isolation, and the reason Freya and Vhaagar (the Shadow Lord) are separate is because there was an internal division in their original self. Freya chased after this false idea of a "soulmate" (hinted at when she goes to sleep on Days 5, 10, and 15) in order to run from her own pain and loneliness, while Vhaagar, her "strength," was left behind in the inner realm of their soul. All of the references to Heaven, Hell, Angels, Demons, are representative of an internal struggle. In the final part (3), Freya and Vhaagar will have to win over their own Shadow, the manifestation of their own pain caused by self-neglect.
So basically, the visual novel is really a subversion of the dating sim genre, since the true love interest is the other half of herself which she left behind and neglected.
Freya's personality is supposed to be a bit vague/weak on purpose, since she's in a broken state of being.
However, I wonder if it's too dull right now and if there's something I can do to make it more interesting while not changing the entire basis of the story.I haven't been having too much difficulty writing the story (it's coming from internal experience), but I'm concerned that it isn't nuanced enough, Freya's personality is bad, and the story overall is boring. And it's my first time doing a map-based game, so I might be screwing something up there, too.
I'm wondering if I should scrap everything in the spoilers tag, and just do a more "normal" girl-meets-monster-boy type thing. It'll be way less unique, but easier to write well and more people might be able to get into it.
If anyone is willing to play at least some of the current WIP and give me some feedback, I would deeply appreciate it! Or if you have some ideas just from looking at the spoilers, let me know as well (like if the story idea just isn't good to begin with).
Game Demo Download:
Windows: https://drive.google.com/file/d/15OMJM- ... share_link
Mac: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jbH3ze ... sp=sharing
Since it's a map-based game, there are quite a few things you can't do yet.
Here is everything you currently CAN do:
- Cook every meal in the Kitchen and max out cooking level
- Read every book in the Library
- Go to Vhaagar (Shadow Lord)'s room and do all interactions including all gifts / discuss library topics
- Go to the Garden and pick a Black Flower to give as a gift to Vhaagar 3 times
- Watch Vhaagar's Day 3 Event (go to the Cabin on Day 3, it'll have a notification next to it)
- Watch Vhaagar's Day 7 Event (go to Shade Lounge)
- Common Event for Day 10 will happen automatically
- Watch Vhaagar's Day 11 Event (go to Cliff) - it is currently unfinished though and I'm thinking of re-writing some of it
- You can go to "Wolf's Room" but the scene is only partially finished
There is placement text when Freya cooks any meal, and when she goes to sleep/wakes up every day.