Aeterna [Furry][18+][Gay/Bi/Straight][NSFW/SFW mode][Surreal]

Post demo and beta versions of your game here for testing.
Post Reply
Message
Author
Sunkra
Newbie
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:15 pm
Projects: Aeterna
Contact:

Aeterna [Furry][18+][Gay/Bi/Straight][NSFW/SFW mode][Surreal]

#1 Post by Sunkra » Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:15 pm

Hello everyone.

Ever since 'Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator' came out I've had the itch to give the visual novel medium a go (especially since I found this game to be lacking in content but I still liked its charm).
I've authored a ton of short stories and two webcomics before.


1. Introduction

My visual novel game is set in an anthropomorphic world and concerns the everyday life of an otter named 'Sunkra' and his love interest; a zebra named 'Milo'. The story focuses on Sunkra and his group of friends, his work and his environment.
The world is a mix of modern day commodities and fantasy, leading to surreal situations as well as very normal ones.

Though this is not a dating simulator, there is a friendship mechanic to increase Sunkra's standing with his friends to unlock possibilities in the game (some sooner than others). There are 18+ situations and sprites in this game, and in the future there will be 18+ scenes as well. These are mainly homosexual in nature but bisexual and heterosexual content is also provided.
When starting the game you're offered a choice between NSFW and SFW mode, the latter will censor nudity below the waist with a fig leaf and will cut out sexual tension and situations in the game.


2. Artwork

Most of the artwork in the game are placeholders for now. The drawn characters are from my older webcomic projects and the backgrounds from Google. It's the intention that everything will be replaced with brand new art assets.
So far Milo and Geist have received updated art assets and Sunkra has WIP art assets.

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

And a few screenshots of the game itself (please don't mind the standard layout, it will be replaced as one of the last things before finishing the game):

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image


3. Constructive critique

I welcome constructive critique, feedback and tips very much!
Please do keep in my that it's my first ever visual novel project.

I haven't been able to get much feedback on the game, only from a few very close friends who are getting tired of me asking them to play test. :P
So I thought I'd stop lurking the forums for answers to questions and start being public about my project.


4. The game download links

Download the public Mac client here.
Download the public Windows/Linux client here.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: Your anti-virus may flag the game as a false positive because the program is unsigned. To bypass this, add the game to your anti-virus' exceptions list/whitelist, restore the .exe from its quarantine and try again.
IMPORTANT NOTICE 2: Never use old save files on a new version of the game! Always start fresh (and use the 'skip' button), otherwise the game may bug out.
Patch notes v.0.9.5.2:

Art.
- added new WIP art assets for Sunkra up until Crystal/Orlando's choice in chapter 6
NOTE: Sunkra's WIP art assets will not be finished but instead redone
- added new art assets for Milo up until chapter 2
- added new art assets for Geist up until chapter 6

Spelling and grammar.
- corrected a ton of typos and grammar mistakes

Gameplay.
- edited a ton of dialogue
- added a more interesting RNG mechanic to the intro's tabletop game scene with over a 100 different outcomes!

Other.
- probably a lot of stuff that slips my mind right now

6. Patreon link

If you'd find my visual novel game interesting enough to want to support me, I'd very much appreciate any support over on Patreon. Thank you!
The Patreon version adds two more chapters to play test, as chapters become fully completed they will shift over to the public version.

Thank you for your support!


5. Thank you for reading

Thank you for taking an interest in my project and possibly giving feedback on it!
It means a lot to me.
Last edited by Sunkra on Mon Dec 18, 2017 1:43 am, edited 2 times in total.

Sunkra
Newbie
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:15 pm
Projects: Aeterna
Contact:

Re: Aeterna [Furry][18+][Gay/Bi/Straight][NSFW/SFW mode][Surreal]

#2 Post by Sunkra » Tue Nov 21, 2017 4:10 am

Update: Added Sunkra's completed art assets.

Mutive
Newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:23 am
Contact:

Re: Aeterna [Furry][18+][Gay/Bi/Straight][NSFW/SFW mode][Surreal]

#3 Post by Mutive » Sun Nov 26, 2017 6:19 pm

Am slowly playing my way through. A few initial thoughts!

1. I really think the opening is adorable. I LOVE the segue from D&D to the penthouse apartment.

2. A few of the lines read faintly stilted to me. This is a hard format to critique in, but if you have a script (or raw Ren'Py code), I'd be happy to add comments as to where I'm seeing things that (minorly) jump out at me. (Most of the writing is generally pretty solid, though, so no complaints.)

3. The artwork felt a bit uneven to me. Some pieces were really great, some maybe a bit less so? I loved the photograph backgrounds, though. (Which were consistently really beautiful.)

4. I love music, so am disappointed by the lack. (I know it's in alpha, but in later versions, if you add, I suspect it would make it a TON better!)

5. I'm not a fan of the dialectic. I know some people like it, but others find it marginally racist. I mostly just find it distracting, so my vote would be on getting rid of it. (But, I mean, clearly it's your call.)

6. The animal heads on the people in the pictures is...pretty amazing. I really love it.

7. I felt like the beginning of chapter 2 had a LOT of texts without decisions. (I feel like more decisions - even meaningless ones - would have broken it up a bit better. The ratio in chapter 1 was better in my opinion.) Chapter 3 was even worse.

8. I definitely loved the ability to toggle it to being SFW. :)

9. I felt like chapter 3 may have hit the "OMG, it's horrible that he's gay" a bit hard for my taste. To be fair, it's a plot I see a lot of, so am a bit tired of. But it would be kind of nice to have the parents freak out maybe a little, then be like, "Eh, whatever. We're glad you're happy" (Or even "yeah, we suspected. Pass me the beer.") But, again, to each their own.

Sunkra
Newbie
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:15 pm
Projects: Aeterna
Contact:

Re: Aeterna [Furry][18+][Gay/Bi/Straight][NSFW/SFW mode][Surreal]

#4 Post by Sunkra » Thu Nov 30, 2017 7:55 am

Mutive wrote:
Sun Nov 26, 2017 6:19 pm
Am slowly playing my way through. A few initial thoughts!

1. I really think the opening is adorable. I LOVE the segue from D&D to the penthouse apartment.

2. A few of the lines read faintly stilted to me. This is a hard format to critique in, but if you have a script (or raw Ren'Py code), I'd be happy to add comments as to where I'm seeing things that (minorly) jump out at me. (Most of the writing is generally pretty solid, though, so no complaints.)

3. The artwork felt a bit uneven to me. Some pieces were really great, some maybe a bit less so? I loved the photograph backgrounds, though. (Which were consistently really beautiful.)

4. I love music, so am disappointed by the lack. (I know it's in alpha, but in later versions, if you add, I suspect it would make it a TON better!)

5. I'm not a fan of the dialectic. I know some people like it, but others find it marginally racist. I mostly just find it distracting, so my vote would be on getting rid of it. (But, I mean, clearly it's your call.)

6. The animal heads on the people in the pictures is...pretty amazing. I really love it.

7. I felt like the beginning of chapter 2 had a LOT of texts without decisions. (I feel like more decisions - even meaningless ones - would have broken it up a bit better. The ratio in chapter 1 was better in my opinion.) Chapter 3 was even worse.

8. I definitely loved the ability to toggle it to being SFW. :)

9. I felt like chapter 3 may have hit the "OMG, it's horrible that he's gay" a bit hard for my taste. To be fair, it's a plot I see a lot of, so am a bit tired of. But it would be kind of nice to have the parents freak out maybe a little, then be like, "Eh, whatever. We're glad you're happy" (Or even "yeah, we suspected. Pass me the beer.") But, again, to each their own.
Hey Mutive, thank you for testing my game!

1. Thank you!

2. If you noted down the specific instances along your playthrough I'd be happy to take a look at them!

3. Most of the artwork is still placeholder art. Only Geist is fully animated so far, Milo up until the end of chapter 1 and Sunkra's white WIP art is to be replaced very soon. The backgrounds will all be replaced with drawn art, the photos just approximate the atmosphere and feeling I want to add to a scene.

4. Music will certainly be added at a later date, when more chapters are written and when all character art is finished. It is important that the music will compliment the art style and gameplay perfectly.

5. Sunkra's speech impediment/accent is just a part of the character and isn't meant to offend anyone. If anything, it includes a minority. :) I do try to keep it as eligible as possible to avoid people being unable to read what he's actually saying.

6. These were funny little touches I wanted to add to the placeholder background, couldn't have humans running around!

7. I've had this noted before by others and I'm currently trying to add more choices and variety to all existing chapters.

8. Thank you. I hope more people will be able to enjoy my game this way. :)

9. This turn of events is essential to the overall plot. I don't know how prevalent the subject is in other (Ren'py) games, but it is actually not a very common topic in storylines/comics in the furry fandom. I hope I can at least bring my own variation on the subject and have it be different enough. :)

User avatar
illuminate001
Veteran
Posts: 242
Joined: Thu Jul 02, 2009 1:46 pm
Completed: Dream Savior Gakuen ~ ReDraw, Let's MEAT Adam
Organization: Soulsoft Electronic Arts
itch: soulsoftea
Location: Los Angeles
Contact:

Re: Aeterna [Furry][18+][Gay/Bi/Straight][NSFW/SFW mode][Surreal]

#5 Post by illuminate001 » Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:50 pm

Hi Sunkra, hope all is well!

Ok so just so you know, since you updated the demo, for some reason my Antivirus doesnt complain about the exe anymore. Which is unexpected but definitely welcome. So there's that...yay! I finally got to try out the demo for Aeterna. :)

Some thoughts:

- Interesting and frustrating dynamic between Sunkra and Milo. Mainly cause I just wanted Sunkra to open his eyes and fully accept himself and in doing so fully accept Milo and Milo's love. But of course that's the story tension, so it was def working.

- Just to chime in on Mutive's playthrough, I also agree that Sunkra's accent is distracting. I don't find it racist at all, and anyone who thinks that is being silly and overly sensitive. There's no malice intended here. However, the written accent is hard to digest and causes the flow of my readthrough to stutter. If you must keep it, I'd suggest choosing just a few words or syllables and so each sentence would have MAX 1-2 words that contain the accent.

- I think there are way too many characters on the screen at once, many times during the game which is also terribly distracting. I'd suggest only showing the characters relevant and reacting/engaging in that moment.

- On Mutive's last point, I don't mind stories about the hardships of being gay and acceptance (from family) in VN's. I actually think everyone has a different and important perspective on their own experience and how it always works its way into the VN and it's characters. You write what you know :) supposedly. What I gathered was that Sunkra's parents were watching over him now in some dream angel type way, and so it's odd to me that they seemed more upset that he was gay than at the fact that he was a hooker? That bothered me tbh, I don't think I can reconcile my feelings on what that implies...

Otherwise I'm looking forward to seeing how this evolves! I see that the art is changing and am curious to see how it all comes together. goodluck!
ImageImage

Sunkra
Newbie
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:15 pm
Projects: Aeterna
Contact:

Re: Aeterna [Furry][18+][Gay/Bi/Straight][NSFW/SFW mode][Surreal]

#6 Post by Sunkra » Thu Nov 30, 2017 4:37 pm

illuminate001 wrote:
Thu Nov 30, 2017 12:50 pm
Hi Sunkra, hope all is well!

Ok so just so you know, since you updated the demo, for some reason my Antivirus doesnt complain about the exe anymore. Which is unexpected but definitely welcome. So there's that...yay! I finally got to try out the demo for Aeterna. :)

Some thoughts:

- Interesting and frustrating dynamic between Sunkra and Milo. Mainly cause I just wanted Sunkra to open his eyes and fully accept himself and in doing so fully accept Milo and Milo's love. But of course that's the story tension, so it was def working.

- Just to chime in on Mutive's playthrough, I also agree that Sunkra's accent is distracting. I don't find it racist at all, and anyone who thinks that is being silly and overly sensitive. There's no malice intended here. However, the written accent is hard to digest and causes the flow of my readthrough to stutter. If you must keep it, I'd suggest choosing just a few words or syllables and so each sentence would have MAX 1-2 words that contain the accent.

- I think there are way too many characters on the screen at once, many times during the game which is also terribly distracting. I'd suggest only showing the characters relevant and reacting/engaging in that moment.

- On Mutive's last point, I don't mind stories about the hardships of being gay and acceptance (from family) in VN's. I actually think everyone has a different and important perspective on their own experience and how it always works its way into the VN and it's characters. You write what you know :) supposedly. What I gathered was that Sunkra's parents were watching over him now in some dream angel type way, and so it's odd to me that they seemed more upset that he was gay than at the fact that he was a hooker? That bothered me tbh, I don't think I can reconcile my feelings on what that implies...

Otherwise I'm looking forward to seeing how this evolves! I see that the art is changing and am curious to see how it all comes together. goodluck!
Hey Illuminate001. :)

It might be that your AV is still set up to ignore my game from the first version. Hopefully when the game is finished I'll be able to afford a digital signature. :)

Nice to hear that the relationship between Milo and Sunkra is making you want to root for them to get together. Sunkra isn't conflicted with himself being bisexual, rather past trauma is causing him to have commitment and abandonment issues.

It's hard to balance legibility and written accents, you want to stay true to how words would sound but of course they might not be interpreted the same by everyone. I'll try to improve Sunkra's legibility further. :)

The problem with showing only a few characters is that one might lose the feeling of having a group of friends there rather than just a few characters, especially when some of the characters are more talkative than others. I try to limit situations where all of them are on screen, but I might consider other options. If it remains too crowded when the new art assets are in place I'll probably try your idea.

The memories of Sunkra's parents (especially his dad) freaking out are from when he was a young teen. In my old comic it's a little more apparent than it is in the vn and I'll probably need to improve that aspect so it's clear to the players. Sunkra became a night club dancer at a later point so his parents never knew.

Thank you for playing and the feedback, I really appreciate it! :)

Sunkra
Newbie
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:15 pm
Projects: Aeterna
Contact:

Re: Aeterna [Furry][18+][Gay/Bi/Straight][NSFW/SFW mode][Surreal]

#7 Post by Sunkra » Tue Dec 05, 2017 12:07 pm

Update: Added Leia's completed art assets.

Sunkra
Newbie
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:15 pm
Projects: Aeterna
Contact:

Re: Aeterna [Furry][18+][Gay/Bi/Straight][NSFW/SFW mode][Surreal]

#8 Post by Sunkra » Mon Dec 18, 2017 1:43 am

Update: Added Max' completed art assets.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users