Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

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Nellie
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Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#1 Post by Nellie » Tue Apr 03, 2012 12:12 pm

After lots of delays...

Presenting Spiral Destiny (Demo) :)
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Because Ziassan said the download link was too hard to find xD


Brief summary;
AU Bangkok, sometime in the future. Ratana and her friends are shopping at a shopping complex when an earthquake and tsunami hits. The building is flooding and falling apart. Ratana and friends are trapped inside the building waiting for rescue, but with such a large scaled tsunami, they aren't the only ones needing help...

Characters
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Eun - She's gorgeous and flaunts it. And has the money to make sure no one messes with her.
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Kanya - The big sister of the group. She knows her stuff, don't mess with her.
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Ratana - She's usually happy go lucky, but you STILL wouldn't want to mess with her!
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Satria - He's... Someone you can mess with all you want...


Screenshots
cover.jpg
ratana scene.jpg
satria scene.jpg

Credits
The complete list in included in a text file inside the game folder, but here's the primary members of SD development;

Nellie - the over-ambitious evil mastermind who plans and designs the story and characters...
Sasuya - Nellie's not-so-evil partner in crime, no. 1 victim to Nellie's rantings. Gave life to the game with her coding and cute splash screens
Ziassan - initially composer, now composer/coder/quality control/beta tester/no. 2 victim to Nellie's ranting. Gave life the game with his music
sciencewarrior - pro-programmer who has to step in each time the coding falls apart, no. 3 victim to Nellie's ranting. Gave life to the game's otherwise impossible GUI
ScottySeng - last minute assistant coder, all time victim to Nellie's rantings. Gave life to the game by making sure Nellie doesn't quit xD
Nightydreams - proofreader/editor who provides majority of the sound effects. Gave life to the game with neat sound effects. First person to be trolled by the game =3

Features
All original sprites and CGs
All original BGM by Ziassan - http://soundcloud.com/ziassan/sets/ost- ... destiny-vn
Customised GUIs
Two MCs - GUI colour scheme changes when the MC changes
Lots of trolls
Beware, Nellie is a self-proclaimed biggest Gintama fan
~20 minutes gameplay
Resolution: 1280 x 960
Fully functional but not-so-pretty music room xD

To be included in the full game
Complete story
Better writing (hopefully)
More trolls (Although other team members are quite against the idea....)
Unlockable CG Gallery, Music Box, etc
Interactive Map
More OST
More sprites
Fully voice acted (options to turn this off available)
Full vocal theme song
OP animation
Beautiful, original backgrounds
Better transitions
More sprites (characters, poses and expressions)
More CGs
... suggest if there's anything else you'd like to see, but please be gentle xD

Feedbacks required
1. Nellie's no. 1 - How's the writing/story? >_< Is it engaging enough? Will you want to play the full version for the continuation of the story?
2. In the main menu, did you find it confusing what to do? We plan to modify it to make it more 'user-friendly', so any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
3. Is there anything in particular you would like to see improved, or changed in any way?
4. Please let us know if you spot any bugs, typos, and anything that looks out of place :)
5. To be added. But any other feedbacks are welcomed


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Last edited by Nellie on Tue Apr 03, 2012 1:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#2 Post by ScottySeng » Tue Apr 03, 2012 12:45 pm

Mirror for download (With Nellie's permission):

This thread is the old demo.

Please visit the new one:
http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... ny#p200512
Last edited by ScottySeng on Sat Jul 07, 2012 1:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#3 Post by Sasuya » Tue Apr 03, 2012 6:49 pm

Yayyy It's finally out =) I couldn't stay up for the release but I'm going to do a play through for fun instead of skimming over everything to see if there are any bugs XD

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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#4 Post by PyTom » Tue Apr 03, 2012 9:17 pm

I've moved this over to Demos and Beta Testing, since it's not really a complete game. I've also played through it, so I'll write some comments here.


First of all, I'm impressed with the production quality of this. The characters sprites and CGs look great, and I really like the setup of the screen.

I'm not sure what the aspect ratio of this is - it looked like it might have been less that 4:3. 5:4 or even 1:1, maybe? I really liked that, as it gave us a nice close look at your characters.

I'm not a huge fan of music in general, but I think it did the job serviceably. So no complaints there.

In general, I found the story uneven. There were times it was really engaging, and times it slowed down and seemed to wander. I think a big problem is that there's this tension at the start between introducing the characters early and getting the disaster started so the player keeps paying attention. It seemed to me that this game didn't really have a great solution to that problem, and the result was that we didn't get to know or like the characters before disaster struck.

May I suggest that you start in the middle? Start with a scene in the midst of the disaster, out of context. Run the player through it, then take your time introducing the characters, and making us like them. The player will be looking forward to getting back to what they already saw.


Some problems. There are some phrases that don't seem to be translated, like "Mai pen rai". There are some editing issues. "like country bumpkin" -> "like a country bumpkin", for example. config.save_directory doesn't seem to be set right, so I was seeing save files from another project. There were a bunch of little polish issues like this that belie the abbreviated origin.

The restaurant is described as rotating, and shown as rotating in the CG. But from the inside, it didn't look like a circular rotating restaurant.

The menu access was kind of weird. Having the entire right side open the top menu was something I disliked - that's where I like to keep my mouse. I'd use the mousearea on both the title and in-game screens, except on touch platforms.


I really didn't like the trollface bad endings. They really hurt the game, and they didn't seem fair to me. If a choice doesn't have meaning, why bother including it at all?


Don't let me get you down with all the criticisms. It's actually really good, given the abbreviated development schedule. I look forward to seeing this turned into a full game.
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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#5 Post by Nellie » Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:08 am

PyTom wrote:I've moved this over to Demos and Beta Testing, since it's not really a complete game. I've also played through it, so I'll write some comments here.
Thanks - I wasn't sure where I should post it. Sorry about that
PyTom wrote: First of all, I'm impressed with the production quality of this. The characters sprites and CGs look great, and I really like the setup of the screen.

I'm not sure what the aspect ratio of this is - it looked like it might have been less that 4:3. 5:4 or even 1:1, maybe? I really liked that, as it gave us a nice close look at your characters.
It's 4:3 - 1280 x 960, although I usually just test it on 800 x 600 (yay to small netbooks)
PyTom wrote:I'm not a huge fan of music in general, but I think it did the job serviceably. So no complaints there.
I'll leave this part to the composer xD
PyTom wrote:In general, I found the story uneven. There were times it was really engaging, and times it slowed down and seemed to wander. I think a big problem is that there's this tension at the start between introducing the characters early and getting the disaster started so the player keeps paying attention. It seemed to me that this game didn't really have a great solution to that problem, and the result was that we didn't get to know or like the characters before disaster struck.

May I suggest that you start in the middle? Start with a scene in the midst of the disaster, out of context. Run the player through it, then take your time introducing the characters, and making us like them. The player will be looking forward to getting back to what they already saw.
Thanks for the input! I've considered starting in the middle of the story - and definitely it is something that I might do for the final release. However, I am not sure how much more time can I spend on introducing the characters without making the storyline... dragged. This is intended to be a 1h (2h max) story, and I'm not exactly a good writer... But hopefully I'll be able to get helps from talented writers/editors to overcome this.

PyTom wrote:Some problems. There are some phrases that don't seem to be translated, like "Mai pen rai". There are some editing issues. "like country bumpkin" -> "like a country bumpkin", for example. config.save_directory doesn't seem to be set right, so I was seeing save files from another project. There were a bunch of little polish issues like this that belie the abbreviated origin.
Noted! Thanks
PyTom wrote:The restaurant is described as rotating, and shown as rotating in the CG. But from the inside, it didn't look like a circular rotating restaurant.
Sorry about that! I should have mentioned that some of the images are place holder backgrounds - bought from dlsite (thus not made to the story). They will replaced in the final release.
PyTom wrote:The menu access was kind of weird. Having the entire right side open the top menu was something I disliked - that's where I like to keep my mouse. I'd use the mousearea on both the title and in-game screens, except on touch platforms.
We might consider having the top menu appear with a click instead of hover, but that depends on our volunteer coder (it's something beyond my coding skill >_<)


PyTom wrote:I really didn't like the trollface bad endings. They really hurt the game, and they didn't seem fair to me. If a choice doesn't have meaning, why bother including it at all?
Apologies. The others have tried to stop me... But I couldn't resist xD I promise the troll faces won't appear in the final release, although there will definitely be choices that will lead to premature ends.
For example, if Satria doesn't go to Chez Pierre in Eden Paradise, the rest of the story can't proceed.
There won't be too many of it - and the other two choices will actually continues the story (but certain choice will lead to more CG (which I wasn't able to finish on time, unfortunately) Hopefully that'll be more acceptable! :)


PyTom wrote:Don't let me get you down with all the criticisms. It's actually really good, given the abbreviated development schedule. I look forward to seeing this turned into a full game.
Not at all! Such a in-depth review really motivates me. I sincerely thank you for your time and kindness, hopefully we will not disappoint you with the full game :)
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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#6 Post by Ziassan » Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:43 am

A good review is always welcome. Thanks about that.
(I would say, the more ruthless is it the better)

Nothing to comment about the music, obviously I prefer when the reader cares about it but as long as it's not a bother, that's for the best.


The real problem we have it about the code. Nobody is used to Ren'py/Python in the team, and that's a real concern.
When I came on the project the sprites names was all written like "nameexpression" instead of "name expression" and so each pose was hidden before the next being shown, all the ressources files was in the same floder, etc etc. (sorry Nellie but I was so shocked at first ahah).
And some people help sometime by coding this or this, so the code tends to be a bunch of makeshift put together. And pretty not ergonomic. We need to do something about that or by the futur this will be mess, hmm.
(for instance now, if you go to the music room, the playlist will be played even after being back on the menu).

I created multiple channels to have better transitions beetwen ambiances (rain, etc.), to have like on sound fading out while the next is fading in. However I'm not the coder (normally), so I wonder if it's possible to have a better way to do it hmm.


Oh about that, is it possible to apply simple filtrer on sound with the code ? I mean, for the rain I created a "muffled" rain sound from the normal one, applying a low-pass filtrer. It's about equalization, like reducing some audio frequencies to make it sounds different.
Allowing that with Ren'py would be a way to reduce the weight of the assets but maybe it's really too difficult.
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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#7 Post by clua » Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:42 pm

Ive played it and
I...wasnt expecting voice acting! :o
Overall the game looks super pro, from the cg scenes, the ambiance with the sfx and music and the interface.
Since its a demo I think many of the things are still being worked but this are some things that bugged me a little(speaking visually because is what I notice more)

+Some of the Ratana had diferent shading, and when she changed expresions it was noticable
+I think(but this is my opinion lol)That the textbox should be lowered a little bit from where it is right now..It covers too much portion of the screen IMO
+I know is a demo!! but the movement of the impact of the water needed work...But then again its a demo and this crit might be useless..lol
I liked the theme and more that it ocurred on a mall(A horrible place to be on a dissaster like that)
Where the demo ended got me really hooked XD I want to see more

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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#8 Post by Nellie » Thu Apr 05, 2012 2:53 am

clua wrote:Ive played it and
I...wasnt expecting voice acting! :o
Overall the game looks super pro, from the cg scenes, the ambiance with the sfx and music and the interface.
Since its a demo I think many of the things are still being worked but this are some things that bugged me a little(speaking visually because is what I notice more)

+Some of the Ratana had diferent shading, and when she changed expresions it was noticable
+I think(but this is my opinion lol)That the textbox should be lowered a little bit from where it is right now..It covers too much portion of the screen IMO
+I know is a demo!! but the movement of the impact of the water needed work...But then again its a demo and this crit might be useless..lol
I liked the theme and more that it ocurred on a mall(A horrible place to be on a dissaster like that)
Where the demo ended got me really hooked XD I want to see more
We will have full voice acting but with option to turn it off in the final version :)
The music and SE credits go to Ziassan, he makes lots of effort to make sure they're of acceptable quality!

+ Thanks for letting me know... I'll check and make sure it won't happen in the final versio! >_<
+ Yea, we think so too! But due to coding inexperience, we had to release it that way for now. Will definitely change the textbox position in the final version
+ Eh? Movement of impact of water? I don't really understand this part >_<
Thanks, glad you like it! And thanks for such thorough feedback, I *really* appreciate it :)
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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#9 Post by papillon » Thu Apr 05, 2012 4:26 pm

What's there so far is certainly pretty.
I was confused when I got to the mall and was told the map was interactive - maybe this bit isn't done yet? I was expecting shops to show information when I hovered on them and let me the player ask for more information. Instead I couldn't what anything did and kept accidentally triggering the main game menu instead. I'm still not sure if I actually selected anything or if the character was using it herself to look at stuff.


(Being me, I instinctively eyeroll at any comment that involves "like all girls will", but I can't exactly complain too much about the protagonist being a person who thinks that even if I strongly disagree with it. :) )

(Also, I think leaving "Mai pen rai" untranslated is perfectly reasonable. It's a little bit of flavor for the English-speaker and it's easy enough to work out from context.)

Purely on real-world grounds, I think it would be beneficial to include some actual information about the elevators. Horrible as it sounds, there is a chance that one of your players might someday be in a situation where people are trapped in elevators and need to know what to do. I've just given it a bit of quick research myself. *Some* kinds of elevators can be forced open simply by strong people pulling, and that would be made even easier by the power being out as the door resistance would fail. *Some* kinds of elevators are specially designed to prevent doors from opening if the elevator is not perfectly aligned with a floor level, and no matter what you do it won't open unless you have a specialist who knows where the deadbolt is and can release it. (People died on 9/11 because of those things.)

Of course, even if you can pull your elevator's doors open, if it wasn't lined up with the level you may not be able to reach the level doors to open them, and you risk falling down the shaft to your doom.

You don't have to put all of this in, of course, but a tiny reference to some realistic information (possibly shouted by someone else at the scene trying to assist, since the girls wouldn't know) could spark curiosity.
Me being totally random, not really important. ;)

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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#10 Post by Nellie » Fri Apr 06, 2012 4:23 am

papillon wrote:What's there so far is certainly pretty.
I was confused when I got to the mall and was told the map was interactive - maybe this bit isn't done yet? I was expecting shops to show information when I hovered on them and let me the player ask for more information. Instead I couldn't what anything did and kept accidentally triggering the main game menu instead. I'm still not sure if I actually selected anything or if the character was using it herself to look at stuff.


(Being me, I instinctively eyeroll at any comment that involves "like all girls will", but I can't exactly complain too much about the protagonist being a person who thinks that even if I strongly disagree with it. :) )

(Also, I think leaving "Mai pen rai" untranslated is perfectly reasonable. It's a little bit of flavor for the English-speaker and it's easy enough to work out from context.)

Purely on real-world grounds, I think it would be beneficial to include some actual information about the elevators. Horrible as it sounds, there is a chance that one of your players might someday be in a situation where people are trapped in elevators and need to know what to do. I've just given it a bit of quick research myself. *Some* kinds of elevators can be forced open simply by strong people pulling, and that would be made even easier by the power being out as the door resistance would fail. *Some* kinds of elevators are specially designed to prevent doors from opening if the elevator is not perfectly aligned with a floor level, and no matter what you do it won't open unless you have a specialist who knows where the deadbolt is and can release it. (People died on 9/11 because of those things.)

Of course, even if you can pull your elevator's doors open, if it wasn't lined up with the level you may not be able to reach the level doors to open them, and you risk falling down the shaft to your doom.

You don't have to put all of this in, of course, but a tiny reference to some realistic information (possibly shouted by someone else at the scene trying to assist, since the girls wouldn't know) could spark curiosity.
Me being totally random, not really important. ;)
First of all, thanks for you in-depth feedback! <3
Yea, we didn't have time to implement the interactive map ^_^;; The final version should *ideally* be like how you described. Players will be able to browse around the shops. It will be an important feature for upcoming stories where players have to decide where to go ;)

Hehe... Sorry about that. Ratana is your 'typical' gossip-loving high school girls >_<

As for the elevator parts, thanks for the input. **spoiler** We've already had a elevator scene coming up right after the demo. Your information is actually useful, makes it simpler for our research! The reason the girls did not stop to help was because water was still rising rapidly and because of the crowd. And being teenage girls, they decided they will not be able to provide much help - and prioritise saving their own lives. Although they will get back to saving the ones who are trapped in *another* elevator which has not completely submerged later on in the story. CG opportunity~
I hope the final version will not disappoint you! We've received harsh feedbacks, but those are really useful to make the final version look as professional as a proper commercial project! :)
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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#11 Post by greenheartnellie » Sat Apr 07, 2012 12:12 pm

:D yay a character with the same name as me!! I'd try the demo and wait for this one when it's done! :D *gonna download it now*
Can sorta write but CAN'T art so I am just here for the otomes! Ahihihi <3

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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#12 Post by Nellie » Sun Apr 08, 2012 11:08 am

greenheartnellie wrote::D yay a character with the same name as me!! I'd try the demo and wait for this one when it's done! :D *gonna download it now*
Nellie is actually my real name... xD So I guess we have the same name? :lol:

Thanks! Hope you enjoy the demo - and do give feedbacks if possible! :)



On a side note - SD has a sudden raise in the downloads, I really wonder what happened... :?:
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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#13 Post by Takanashi » Wed Apr 11, 2012 3:27 pm

Today I finally had the time to play this one and I'll just say:

Words cannot express how dumbfounded I was on my first run. I could not believe the art quality, the main menu, the CG's I was seeing at every click...

I really want to see this game come through, great work! :)
/Stalking on

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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#14 Post by Nellie » Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:06 am

Thank you so much for your kind words! :)

Really motivates me. Hopefully the final version won't disappoint you! :)
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Re: Spiral Destiny Demo [NaNoRenO 2012]

#15 Post by greenheartnellie » Mon Apr 23, 2012 3:13 am

Nellie wrote:
greenheartnellie wrote::D yay a character with the same name as me!! I'd try the demo and wait for this one when it's done! :D *gonna download it now*
Nellie is actually my real name... xD So I guess we have the same name? :lol:

Thanks! Hope you enjoy the demo - and do give feedbacks if possible! :)



On a side note - SD has a sudden raise in the downloads, I really wonder what happened... :?:
omg haha! I just noticed what you mean xD Shame on me for just 'skimming' through the infos above the first time and I thought 'Nellie' is one of the characters hehe! I confused myself :lol: I had problems with my internet connection last time so I wasn't able to download it (I'm too lazy to wait for like 3 hours) so I successfully downloaded it just now. I'm still in the middle of the game as of now, but so far I love the art! I also loved the voiced narration in the beginning :)

PS: I'll edit this when I'm done with the game :)

Edit: Wow as I said, I love the art! I got hooked to the flow of the story so I can't wait to know what happened next! I'm so excited for the full game :D
Can sorta write but CAN'T art so I am just here for the otomes! Ahihihi <3

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