Parallel Distortion (working title) demo [GxB]

[nefferinthia]

For a long time I've been working on and off on this. Recently, I lost a lot of data and got really demotivated but I think that if some people here show some support/interest that might help. So I'm trying my luck posting what I have right now on here. There's no customized screens or anything and the GUI is definitely not final but the story and art is there. So please, try my little game out and give me a bit of encouragement. Constructive criticism is welcome too but cut me some slack please, I'm doing this by myself and am already demotivated enough as is. Besides, I'm really new to the whole digital art thing.

About the plot... When a girl goes to meet up with her best friend, before they even get to talk a bright flash blinds them and suddenly a boy appears. This oddly-dressed boy claims to be a prince and demands they take him back to his castle. Not knowing what to do they take him back to the girl's house instead where they learn of what occurred and decide to try to get him back to his world.

Thank you for trying this out <3 I currently only have a windows version located here, sorry~ (Even though I have a Mac myself. Yeah, I know.)

[Veniae]

Oooh, that sounds cute! I'll give it a try! :3

Edit: Okay, I played it through, and it was adorable~ I'd definitely play the whole game when you release it! As for some feedback/critique:

On drawing: Satsuki's sprite is really cute! Frankly, it looks way better than Kevin's - I don't like the kinda blurry lines on the face, and his hair makes him look girly. Probably you should also filter the BG photos or something, it would look more polished that way.

On writing: It was an easy read, no grammatical mistakes or anything. The only thing I will suggest is varying your sentences a bit. Because "He does this. He does that. We do something else." is a bit monotone and using different structures will make it come alive. xD Also, show and don't tell! That is, cut down on the adverbs and try to describe emotions/situations rather than stating they happened. What made her believe Satsuki? How do we know she's impulsive except for her saying so? It will make your writing much more enjoyable, and the story you tell much more vivid.

Once again, though, good job! I'll be looking forward to more!

[nefferinthia]

Thank you so much for replying! I did do Kevin's sprite way before I did Satsuki's, I'll consider re-doing it. Although he is supposed to look girly, that's why he has hairclips. He's kinda intended to be Harumi's gay-but-not-really best friend. And thanks for the advice on the writing, I'll definitely use it c:

[nancie]

I played through this, I did really enjoy the story it was very cute and light. I will definitely play it when it's finished. I agree that the bg art needs to be filtered a little for that polished look. I would suggest getting a proof reader to help out with the word repeats and minor grammar errors.
Keep up the good work I'll be watching for the progress on this one.