I wanted to start out by saying how much I enjoyed your game. I liked the first demo so much that I have been silently stalking your wip thread. I don’t comment on every game just the ones that pique my interest in one way or another. For yours I was first attracted by the beautiful artwork. I was very sad to read that you had lost touch with your artist, I was afraid it would keep you from finishing the project. I’m very glad I was wrong.
As for the game itself:
Start screen: as commented earlier it is a little bit hard to read, but I was able to figure out what all the buttons did. Your GUI is beautiful although I did like the darker start screen background better.
The story was both cute and funny. I liked the light hearted feel. Your grammar however need quite a bit of improvement. I saw that you had 5 proofreaders in your credits. I’m guessing one for each path? The only reason I mention it is that some paths seem to have better grammar than others. The simple speech patterns that you used when writing this story gives it a certain charm, almost like it is being told by someone young and innocent. It complements the characters and artwork nicely.
Characters: I really enjoyed going through all the paths:
Putadewa
His story was great and the ending was perfect, but this was the character I liked the least. I though he really lacked personality compared to the rest. He really had no reaction to anything, there was nothing that stood out about him. If you are still planning to modify this story I would consider tweaking his route a little bit to give him something unique to adore.
Werkudara
‘I met him in a street fight after which he picked me up, threw me over his shoulder, and proceeded to carry me off.’— I love the rough and tough type as long as they don’t get too carried away with personality quirks. I also adored the cute pet name. I was very sad that there was no real romance in his ending. The closest thing I got was this little scene:
Him : “Hey Grumpy head, you look beautiful!”
Me : “……”
Me : “I don’t know whether to be happy or mad…”
I was really glad that Puntadewa and Nyikara were finally able to make up in this path.
Arjuna
I have mixed feelings about this type of character. I thoroughly enjoyed him and all his witty come backs, he had a line for everything said. I was very sad I never got to see him blush that would have been like icing on the cake. There was a scene where he said he was blushing but it was during a chibis scene so… yeah. His ending was hilarious! It totally inspired the thought of an awesome bonus scene of a wife revolt <insert evil grin here>
Nakula
This is usually the first character type I chase. Everyone loves the tsundere. At first he just made me laugh because he would get so flustered he’d stop making sense. I just wanted to pinch him half the time. I wanted to say Kudos for being able to write his scenes so well, not everyone can pull it off with it still being enjoyable. I liked the way he warmed up towards the end without taking the other extreme. It felt like a natural transition to me.
Sadewa
What can I say? This was my favorite character. He was the nicest and cutest of them all. I can tell that you gave this character a lot of love during the developmental stages of this title. Even though he was the youngest he had an air of maturity about him. I loved the realization scene, where they agree that they might like each other… ‘The case is still open’ His implied romantic scene gave me the warm and fuzzies. I just wanted to grab him and hug him.
Game Errors – both are minor but I thought I should mention them.
(code) – after you choose Ajuna and he dumps the box, the 2 lines that follow this one don’t have a name they are coded as the narrator but it should be Ajuna talking
Line: “How all of us envy you.”
(graphic) – after you choose Werkura the scene where you two are the only ones left in the room. It says “Werkudara suddenly hit my back slowly.” To hit her back he would need to be behind her and in the scene he is in front of her.
In one of your previous replies you asked someone to give you a list of misspelled words. Here are most of them:
atmosfere (spelling) = atmosphere
personaly (spelling) = personally
imposible (spelling) = impossible
imposibble (spelling) = impossible
anxiousity (spelling) = anxiety
bussiness (spelling) = business
dissapearance (spelling) = disappearance
sended (spelling) = sent
choosed (spelling) = chose
holded (spelling) =held
curiousity (spelling) = curiosity
regural (spelling) = regular
occured (spelling) = occurred
happenes (spelling) = happens
frazeled (spelling) = frazzled
possitively (spelling) = positively
dejuvu (spelling) = deja vu (this is two words)
luggages (spelling) = luggage
deers (spelling) = deer
tuk (spelling) = tunk
lacking (misuse) = slacking (I would call this a typo but you used it wrong more than once)
crowing (typo) = crowning
it’s (misuse) it’s = it is -- the possessive form(showing ownership) of “it” = its
waw (spelling) = wow
hmft (spelling) = hmpf
emm (spelling) = erm
heh (spelling) = huh (same as above – heh would be a slang term for laughing casually – huh would be a slang term for questioning you have them reversed a lot)
hup – the only time I have ever seen this use is “Hup two three four…” in a military march.
wew in english is wow (was not sure if you wanted to change that because it give a bit of cultural flavor but I thought it was note worthy)
At some point while reading through this I remember thinking that you were just making up words as you went along to add the cuteness factor or to make the game more funny. Whether or not that was your intention I decided to list a few of them with some comments and/or reference links in case you wanted to go back in and correct them later.
Dok! = Knock!
hwaa (meaning) I don’t think this meant what you though
reference: link I’m not sure what the happy “glomping”
reference: link sound would be maybe one of these guys can help you out with a substitution.
Fiuh –The word fiuh means something very dirty-
reference: link I think what you meant was phew -
reference: link
Brak! – I did find this in the urban dictionary as a substitution for a curse word, but I am unfamiliar with its actual meaning as I have never heard this word used before. From the context I’m assuming it would be similar to ‘Oh crap!’ or something of the like. You were pretty liberal with your use of other curse words so I’m not why you would use a substitute now. Again I’m not sure if you wanted to change it but I thought it was note worthy.
Hyee – ??
Uwaa – ??
Uwooo – is supposed to be “woo hoo”?
reference: link
Spell it (meaning) you would spell a word or a slang use could be spell it out – meaning to explain in simple terms – I think you meant spill it meaning – give me all the details
Somehow (meaning) the word somehow means you don’t know how or you don’t understand how, you use it a lot when you are implying you don’t know the reason for something. You could substitute “for some reason” Here is a
reference: link
Lastly since there were still so many errors I went ahead and did a full proofread if you are interested here is a link to the word document. I have enclosed a plain text version too in case you don’t have word. It was just too big to post.
download link
Anyway good luck with your final release and let me know if you need any more help.
Sorry. 
