Lemma Soft Forums

With the pacing, it sets off slow (which is good.. because horror in this kind of story is supposed to creep up on you), but I think it jumps too abruptly to the end. I would write in a few more scenes showing the main character what is not-quite-right about this place to maintain the slow buildup in the beginning. All we get is a stuck drawer and a conversation through a door that might be sinister and might not be, and the fact that all the proof is just conveniently there when the drawer finally gets unstuck shortens the story more than perhaps it needs. Maybe the drawer could have some other clue, or maybe it could have the absence of folders, and evidence that they were recently and hastily moved (scraps of paper on the bottom of the drawer, a bent and empty folder, that kind of thing).

Also, while I felt that the villain was handled well (if in a way I would expect from this genre), I wasn't sure why Amelie wanted revenge? I might have missed that part. It looks like the main character has some dark backstory, too, but we don't learn much about it.