Her Dolls - A Short Demo

[Lucy1212]

This demo is very short, and currently lacks sprites. It has music and backgrounds, though. Those might be changed later on if I can hire a professional to do them.

The basic gist of the game is that you are a girl, which finds a book. This book teaches you how to make "living dolls," dolls that look human and follow your every command.

It's the first part of the game, which is very short at only 1,500 words. The story will diverge into three separate paths with hopefully somewhere between 5000 and 10000 words in each path. These paths have not been written yet, and are not included.

I know the information I've given you is very sparse, but I don't have a whole lot to show yet.

Please tell me what you think.

[philip]

Hi Lucy-

Downloaded the short demo and played through it. The premise sounds interesting and I hope that you will continue with it, and complete it.

If somewhere down the road you need some assistance with proofreading or beta testing, please let me know; I would be happy to help you.

philip

[Lucy1212]

Thanks so much for the input, philip. I'll probably put out a longer demo when more is completed.

[Lucy1212]

I added new content to the demo.

[philip]

Hello again Lucy-

Just downloaded and went through the enhanced demo. It's nifty to see the story with some backgrounds. And I enjoyed the little bit of new story at the end . . . . makes me want to see more! One small problem though, the gray lettering for the dialog is very hard to see. Perhaps you should make it black, or at least a darker shade of gray, if possible.

I'll be lurking on this topic, anxiously waiting for future updates.

philip

[Lucy1212]

Thanks for the advice! I'll probably keep putting demos out as I complete more. It's nice to see someone who's interested in my project!

[Elze]

Just wanted to say that I downloaded the demo and really enjoyed it! I look forward to seeing more from you C:
Also, just curious because I noticed there were no sprites, but are you on a lookout for artists?

[Lucy1212]

I've hired an artist who is currently working on some sprites and CGs, so no. Thanks for asking though.

[Loading]

I tried out the demo and pretty much the first thing that struck me was the fact that the text with the talking is gray. With some of those backgrounds, that makes it pretty hard to read anything. The bookstore lady, Laura, I think it was? Her name was in grey as well, and I have a feeling that even Mary's name is hard to read with the background of her room. I'd definitely check that out.
Some of the white text may also be hard to read if it goes any farther than the first two lines or so.

When she goes back to the bookstore the next day (after getting the book), the sentence "on a whim, she went inside" starts with a non-capital o.

Other than that, I don't think I have any other remarks. Good luck with your project though, hopefully it'll turn out nicely.

[cometgears]

I have to echo what others said about the difficulty reading the gray dialog text. And somewhat with the white text, since the textbox has the lighter gradient on the bottom, it does get a little dicey if the text goes past the second line.

And it is only a short demo so there wasn't time to find out much, but I'm curious about the fight Mary was having with her father. It seemed to be resolved so abruptly. Was it something silly, or something they fight about often, or was it unusual for them to fight? It might not be important, though.

But as for the living doll premise, it sounds really interesting so far. I want to know what happens with the materials I chose! Good luck with the project, and I hope I get to find out soon.