[!!] SPOILERS AHEAD [!!]
As with any of my reviews I will start off with the bad stuff and give you a pat on the back later, so don't lose hope in the middle.
First: The title.
"Aaand Now I'm A Box"
its just not memorable, no-one is going to google that! Smart people will copy it and those not bothered will just skip past your game all together.
"Aaand" is not only annoying but absolutely useless and immature at best and the title doesn't really make sense.
Instead of it being a whole sentence I'd rather pick a single short word that no one has used before perhaps something along the lines of "Boxed-in" or if you want a longer title: "A box of us", something memorable and easily google-able.
The writing:
The story is
Good, its really
good! But not Excellent
You have made enough room in your plot big enough that you can extend your legs and hands and you will still have plenty of room, this is always good and you have really let your dreams loose on this one.
I kept getting the taste of this game being their first "baby" so to speak, that one game that they always wish they could make however as opposed to all of those who have failed this idea this one sticks out of the crowd. Why? Because even though its humble it presents itself in the best light possible in an immature cute way that makes you pat it on the head and smile.
The writing is amateur in some parts filled with "??!?!??" and lacks proof reading with some little "i"'s that sneak up on you not to mention the over use of "gunna" with every character saying that over and over, it losses its charm quickly.
Not to mention the FULL ON CAPSLOCK THAT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A CHILD. Stop while you can!
There is swearing... Too much of it and hence once again it looses its meaning and just drowns in monotony and that "I do what I want" feeling from Layla dissipates after a while due to this. Not to mention that some people are really fussy about swearing [ not me
]
Randal mentions that Zack is the first one who he kills, but what about himself in the very begging? Although this poses a deeper question. However technically Randal still killed someone albeit not current-self.
Not everyone lives in the Great Britain so the traitors in the new world wont understand what "Year 11" is in terms of education [because they don't have any] and neither will that Russian/Brazilian guy. Try to replace it with something more general and keep away from local references, they will leave most people in the dark.
The start was too weak, It just jumps straight into the story with little warm up, add some lube and foreplay it will be less painful to take the whole picture into consideration.
The Graphics:
This is where the game really shines, it gets its atmosphere right in every way. There is striking contrast, continuous theme, style and a strong commitment sustain it all the way from characters to the UI.
The art itself is "Meh" but the style adds so much more to it and gives off that "Cute" vibe you get when looking at your little sister when she draws you holding her hand.
With hair being the largest problem, it just looks messy and too thick like a large bear thats stuffed onto someones head especially when it comes to Jasmine and later Layla who's hair looks like two large masses stuck together with super glue.
However I must say that this is fine for your product. It really is! It is supposed to be imperfect and this imperfection has actually benefited you! Only a talented craftsman can achieve that, even though immature and rather bland in some places the art manages to convey much more emotions than a fully "professional" looking piece of art almost like the characters would actually be somewhat alive or even if their images were drawn by themselves.
Otherwise the game looks well done especialy with the well placed blurs but lacks a bit of Bloom and It'd be a good investment to look into that or some other
fancy shaders as it lacks that bit of umph to amaze me.
The death scenes didn't impress me however, I felt that they were a letdown they almost made no impact on me especially the first death this of course is more to do with the writing but it is also a blame to the graphics as they are supposed to make it a little more dramatic.
Oh and there was that annoying line where the screen tears for some reason, especially in the castle part, it really started to annoy me as it became more and more visible.
The Gameplay:
There are invisible walls T_T and invisible walls are cancer. Please do NOT use invisible walls it destroys your world. It really does! I lost immersion immediately once I hit one and unless you can make some sort of an excuse in the plot, it is likely that other players will too.
It feels constraining, I have just about enough control but I am left wanting so much more that it irritates me, for example why can't I switch between nodes easily (eg a key)? This frustrated me in some parts and left me a little uneasy in others.
I won't complain about the lack of a double jump though as that is actually crucial to the plot but its addition will certainly give more control to the player.
The longer the story goes the less gameplay there is T_T. I wanted to play more levels.. They were just the right length in the begging. A bit of story to entice me and then a level but then slowly it started to deteriorate it was just story, story and story again and so it left my mouth dry and desperate for much needed gameplay and once I got it, it was too little! Its like you are starving a little child and giving him bread crumbs as you swallow a load of bread (in-game cut scenes) just in front of him.
some of the gameplay challenges were in fact quite challenging (in the wrong way) and I managed to get stuck on some parts T_T but I never lost engagement and it never really overwhelmed my need to know more about the plot.
User experience:
This is your weakest link. First off why is your button arrangement:
Exit New Continue
Shouldn't it be:
*Remove Continue if no saves are there
[Continue] New Exit
Your color scheme for that was Waaay off. I thought at first that Exit actually meant start as you know on the traffic lights Green usually means GO and red usually means Stop. Its like you don't want me to play your game T_T which is exaggerated with Exit being my first choice.
You need add things like Log and a way to scroll through the dialogue in case I accidentally press Enter or LMouse because I missed some parts of the dialogue as I made notes.
The gameplay controls are smooth however: Why Enter for moving the dialogue? Enter is a difficult key to reach for why not space? This way you can cut down the use of keys and remove the strain on my hands [I don't like reaching for my mouse either cuz I am lazy].
Sound:
I though my cooker finished baking seven cakes as I listened to the SFX. That "Ding" noise is really out of place with the whole theme and often hints at how overcooked it is, do a bit of sound synthesizing to keep that beast under control!
There were moments of silence.. Which I don't know if where intended or not which I felt detracted from my experience. The sound did its job however and kept the atmosphere right with each track hitting in the appropriate moment.
There isn't much to say here but please do make more tracks as currently it feels a little shallow.
My final thoughts
Its Good!
This game definetly outlived my expectations.
I was expecting someting really immature and extremley shallow but what I found was rather deep and immature.. But in a good way! So much so that it made me smile a few times.
The contrast between the sad and happy parts really intrigued me, it was something that I like to see in anime [like madoka magica] and VN's alike. This game shows a clear command of this contrast and uses it to great effect to add to the atmosphere not only in the plot but in the graphics too!
The gameplay is well refined and interweaves seamlessly with the VN elements making the experience so much more enjoyable.
Even though some of the writing was immature I really did feel for the story what it didn't have in maturity it made up in with its strong theme and striking contrast.
If I were to rate it out of 10 I would probably say 4. However my scale is rather low. With other games like Nekopara having a 5 (and thats a good game!!) however with a bit of work this game may definitely strike a 6 or higher.
The central idea could probably harbor a 6 as it stands but that means NOTHING as ideas are just that.
Suggestions:
Get a proof reader / editor ASAP, this game begs for one in every way, as it currently stands.. Well I think my good friend Ramsay puts it the best:
ITS RAW!!!!
Although I think you already know that.
The graphics department could do with a bit more tweening.
Just a little bit more and this game would be fully marketable and perhaps even profitable!
Oh and one more thing, add some of these: ♥ ♪ they will definitely spice up the game.
To answer your question
Is a full game worth your effort?
I don't know and no one can tell you that except yourself. Does the game look good to YOU, did YOU like to play through it? I certainly did but does that mean everyone else will. No! Definetly not, some peope will immedatley ditch this game as it is too artsy for them or not enough boobs or whatever. But! I think you answered that question already with the work you put in the game. It is clearly beyond a simple prototype.
After note
If you can I'd like to know if this game was made by a single person, that being the friend of yours.
This is one of the games where I am in the middle on this. It feels like its made by a single person but some elements have been given more love and give off a different vibe than others, eg in-game graphics and the character drawings with the in-game graphics being more refined and professional..
Oh and with that friend of yours. They should get some confidence quick because they will need it!
