Visual Novel test

[SilentMonkey]

Hello all. I created a very short visual novel scene that I would like to share and get some constructive criticism on. It was made with TyranoBuilder and i'm having a bit of trouble on how and where I can upload it for people to see and give some feedback. I saw the export game option that gave me the files for the whole project I assume that is ready to go, just stuck on what to do with it.

[indoneko]

If you're asking for a place to upload a demo version, you could try public file server like google drive or mediafire (you need to register first before you can upload the files)

[SilentMonkey]

If you're asking for a place to upload a demo version, you could try public file server like google drive or mediafire (you need to register first before you can upload the files)

Thank you.
Where would be the best place to upload the game?

[indoneko]

Not really sure which one is the best... it depends. Some server will delete files if no one is accessing it anymore for a period of time. Others have speed limit for non-premium user. For small files (like under 100 MB), mediafire or depositfiles or solidfiles is good enough. For large files, you might want to use gdrive or dropbox.

[SilentMonkey]

I see. Then that would mean people would have to download it to see it?
A bit inconvenient. Making a link where it just opens up in the browser or something would be nice.

[fleet]

I see. Then that would mean people would have to download it to see it?
A bit inconvenient. Making a link where it just opens up in the browser or something would be nice.

You can upload it to newgrounds. You'll have to register there in order to upload, but folks will leave comments and post ratings.

[SilentMonkey]

I see. Then that would mean people would have to download it to see it?
A bit inconvenient. Making a link where it just opens up in the browser or something would be nice.

You can upload it to newgrounds. You'll have to register there in order to upload, but folks will leave comments and post ratings.

Oh that sounds good! Then I can put the demo there and put the link to it on this site.
Thanks guys.

[SilentMonkey]

Figured it out.
Link to the demo here. Please let me know what you guys think about it. It's short but sweet.


https://silentmonkey6.itch.io/silence-in-daylight

[Zelan]

The game freezes for me after only a few text boxes - right after the main character says that we're at his/her stop.

There were some sentences that were awkward and/or grammatically incorrect. I would suggest finding a proofreader.

[SilentMonkey]

The game freezes for me after only a few text boxes - right after the main character says that we're at his/her stop.

There were some sentences that were awkward and/or grammatically incorrect. I would suggest finding a proofreader.

Thanks for taking a look. After the main character reaches his stop that is the end of it, I know it's kinda anticlimactic I should have added more meaning to what happened but I was too excited to let other people see it.
For the grammar errors i'm not sure what you mean by that. If there are more than a few it would be embarrassing because that's my major.
I am also interested in why it seemed awkward. Should I have spent more time with the characters thoughts or did the whole scene just jump around to quickly? Or the dialogue itself, did it feel unnatural?

[WilliamofBangor]

I'll look through it and provide notes if that is something that you are interested in. I've been working as a full-time Freelance Writer/Editor for a while so I think I can provide you with useful notes. Send me a PM with the text and your e-mail and I'll send it back with track changes.

...also using Tyranobuilder, and wouldn't mind connecting with another person that uses it.

[SilentMonkey]

I'll look through it and provide notes if that is something that you are interested in. I've been working as a full-time Freelance Writer/Editor for a while so I think I can provide you with useful notes. Send me a PM with the text and your e-mail and I'll send it back with track changes.

...also using Tyranobuilder, and wouldn't mind connecting with another person that uses it.

That will be greatly appreciated but what do you mean when you say with the text?
I think I will go back and put more into the demo to give a better demonstration of where I am when it comes to writing and how effectively I use the materials provided.

I find Tyrano to be a neat program that is fairly simple but also has potential to produce high quality material.

[WilliamofBangor]

All of the text from the VN Demo cut-and-paste into the PM (so I can stick it into an Open Office file, rather than have to type it from the demo).

[SilentMonkey]

All of the text from the VN Demo cut-and-paste into the PM (so I can stick it into an Open Office file, rather than have to type it from the demo).

oh so you want me to open the scene file with notepad or something so you can see all texts at once, am i correct? If that's the case sure but you will see all the scripts involved as well.

[WilliamofBangor]

What you sent works. I'll go through it this afternoon and send it back.