JustAnotherArtDumpage (Critiques please)

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JustAnotherMe
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JustAnotherArtDumpage (Critiques please)

#1 Post by JustAnotherMe » Tue Oct 11, 2011 4:14 pm

Hello all, I'm thinking of practicing making a game (sprite, bg, music, CODING :evil: , etc). I can make a story, but I just can't make a short one... (don't know why). Maybe u have a story, a concept or anything unique and good for me? Of course the credit will go to u :) , but I'm rather picky :roll: so I'm sorry if I don't use ur story if it doesn't get to me.
But, many thx to u all for all of ur help! :D
CLOSED (Found a story XD)

Edit: I've made this thread to b only my art dumpage. Feel free to comment on my pics. I know I still need to improve my skill, so I receive all comments /(^3^)/
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sorry for ranting: my first time drawing wth tablet. Took me too long just for one!!
Last edited by JustAnotherMe on Tue Oct 18, 2011 4:57 am, edited 7 times in total.

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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#2 Post by Sunlit-Dreamer » Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:35 pm

Since I'm leaving in a few minutes I'm just going to type whatever pops into my head.

How about....you're playing Cupid. You try to bring a couple people who have crushes on each other but mess up somehow. (Maybe arrow misfired or something) You have until the end of the day to fix the problem. You either succeed or fail. A short and simple story with two possible endings with a slight twist. (Or a couple more if you chose to do so)

Obviously you don't have to do this one. XD It IS something I just made up right now. Hope someone posts a short story that peaks your interest into doing. ^^
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#3 Post by Mink » Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:40 pm

Actually, it'd probably be better if you specified what kind of story (otome, horror, yaoi, etc.) you're interested in. That could help filter out the rest.

Edit: You could also do what I do: interpret fairy tales and other short stories for practice.
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#4 Post by JustAnotherMe » Tue Oct 11, 2011 6:09 pm

@Sunlit-Dreamer: KYAH! :lol: I was giggling while imagining the story. I made a few stories in my head already, and it's all making me smile. I'm putting urs in my list. Maybe I'll make it, maybe not. But certainly, ur idea is a GOOD one.

@Mink: U'r right. Hmmm... an otome game is good (I'm a woman btw), but I'm not into gay thing (just my preference). But I don't mind making whatever idea u give me coz I like making twists and unpredictable, unique things 8) . I might make a full story of urs into a game if it's just 'perfect' :mrgreen:
For ur suggestion: sorry, but as I said, I like making unpredictable things, so I want a fresh idea. I played urs anyway, and I like it! :wink:

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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#5 Post by Mink » Tue Oct 11, 2011 6:50 pm

You mean you played the original SYLM? That's not based off a fairy tale as much it *is* a fairy tale. Sort of. I guess.

Now, this was written based on a fairy tale and to see if I give myself a deadline could I make it (I did). <---this is unedited, fyi

Though it's up to you to decide how you want to do it. I hope you find a story you like.
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#6 Post by Sunlit-Dreamer » Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:55 pm

Mine is a good one? Even though I made it up on the spot? o.o Thanks.

There's another thread that other people dump their ideas in that everyone is allowed to use. Perhaps you'll see a few in there that you'll want to add to your list?
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#7 Post by JustAnotherMe » Wed Oct 12, 2011 1:25 am

@Mink: Ur game kind of reminded me of a greek mythology or so I thought... :lol: Dunno what myth though

"That" will be ur next project? Kind of a gloomy one but I can't predict the story. Nice! Will u make it? ;^>
I wanna sketch a sprite design for Harris (sudden urge) Let me plsss?? :wink:

@Sunlit: But it's GOOD! really! I'll make a pic based on ur idea. I'll post it later if I got d time (my work and school packed me already... T_T)

Will find d thread!

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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#8 Post by Mink » Wed Oct 12, 2011 1:41 am

Huh, really? A Greek myth? ...Must be revenge/murder plot that's going on. You know, pretty much every Greek myth.

If you can tell what fairytale it's based on, it was bound to be dark. And well, that was going to be practice for programming, but I don't think it'll really work (at least not without partially rewriting it) as a VN or KN, so it was just going to be left as a short story.

And while I have a design in mind for Gretchen, sure, go ahead. She's only vaguely described, anyway. (Looking a bit young and gloomy probably isn't very descriptive)

*If you can't think of it, it's
Hansel and Gretel.
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#9 Post by Sunlit-Dreamer » Wed Oct 12, 2011 2:07 am

http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... f=4&t=2257

There you go. That's the thread. Right now there's 42 pages so I'm pretty sure you'll find an idea you like. Although you should of course check if someone else called dibs on it. It IS a pretty big thread after all.

And ooohhh a piccy! You should put it up in your own personal art thread. (Unless you decide to change this thread's title XD but yeah)
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#10 Post by lordcloudx » Wed Oct 12, 2011 2:51 am

I have a story that I was planning to turn into a VN sometime. I just don't have enough free time right now. In any case, see if you're interested: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2816784/1/The_Blackbird
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#11 Post by JustAnotherMe » Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:16 am

@Mink:
I read just until her stepmom telling her she wanna make Harris *disappeared* so I didn't know it was from Hansel and Gretel. But it makes me wanna read more (if not for my professor looking at me wth an intent to kill)
Maybe I'll just make a random pic of my own imagination from d story I like :lol: U don't need to use my pic, I'll make it for my own pleasure.

@Sunlit: yeah, u gave me an idea to make this thread my art doodle! I wanna make pics for any story in this thread that I like, have any idea for d thread name? Kind of lazy to make another thread :oops:
thx for d link btw. I'll check it out tonite :)

@lordcloudx: Will read it tonite. My professor is glaring at some students right now... :roll: I'll let u know then...
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#12 Post by Sunlit-Dreamer » Wed Oct 12, 2011 4:22 am

You can really name it whatever you want as long as it isn't naughty like in the Hentai section. I think. Blah.

But yeah you can simply put *yournamehere's something something something* It could be collection corner, idea corner, uh....creativity brainstorm zone...etc.

And yes, focus on your class. Can't have your grade go down for not participating since there are some like that.
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#13 Post by NewMember » Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:30 am

A cat in a suit that is a pizza delivery boy and encounters dangerous monsters while delivering pizzas such as Jumping rope guy or cool shades Snake.

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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#14 Post by Mink » Wed Oct 12, 2011 1:33 pm

JustAnotherMe wrote:@Mink:
I read just until her stepmom telling her she wanna make Harris *disappeared* so I didn't know it was from Hansel and Gretel. But it makes me wanna read more (if not for my professor looking at me wth an intent to kill)
Maybe I'll just make a random pic of my own imagination from d story I like :lol: U don't need to use my pic, I'll make it for my own pleasure.
Yeah, the fairy tale it's based on shouldn't really become obvious until you get to the part where they're wandering around lost.

And hey, I'd like to see what you imagine she looks like. That's always fun, others' interpretations.

(Also, you should probably pay attention in class. That's most likely more important. >x>)
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#15 Post by Meatpie » Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:14 am

I have a story I've been wanting to write for a long while now.
Can never seem to get into the mindset I need to be in to write it though.

It's just about Satan fighting over souls with God, who tricks a human into taking in the souls of around 100,000 people who die in a accident he himself directly causes out of his own carelessness. (That figure is just a guess, I'll need to actually calculate the death count after I'm done writing, I don't really care if the number is ridiculous for the situation either, it's not like I'm going for realism here if I'm including a God and Satan power struggle in the story.)

Each time he dies, and depending on how he dies (suicide, being shot, saving someone) the soul will go to either heaven or hell.
Souls are what give the gods power, they aren't actually the peoples human concious, that is dead when they die. Because you know, people die when they are killed.

When he dies, he is able to rewind time as far as 5 minutes, which is how long a human life looks in the eyes of a perfectly immortal being.
He can go back 5 minutes to where he was, or revive on the spot instantly.
If he dies of old age, all remaining souls are cumulative and will take him back in time proportionate to how many minutes they clock up to. Regardless if he wants to or not.

Not quite sure how short you want it, though I suppose it could be pretty hard for me to condense it really low, in anything other than a bastardized version.
When I write I think of a beginning, and then an end. I then come up with characters and give em some personality, and then throw in the little details as I go.
I suppose I COULD do a tiny story out of this, perhaps.
If you're ok with it being a little on the depressing side.

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