JustAnotherArtDumpage (Critiques please)

Questions, skill improvement, and respectful critique involving art assets.
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JustAnotherMe
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#16 Post by JustAnotherMe » Thu Oct 13, 2011 2:54 pm

@lordcloudx: the story really nice. I can't predict the way through reading. But I'm kind of feeling down bcoz
d story ends wth that 'happy past memory' but not a 'good future',
like it makes me feel sth is *missing*. U know, d feeling of just receiving d fate... Sorry... But I like d friendship in there. And I like d atmosphere in his childhood. Will u let me make a pic based on this story?? :)

@sunlit: might change d name after i post 1 pic of d stories. Working on it (I'm a slowpoke... I know that...). I've found an interesting 1 from d thread u gave me, but almost every idea there make long stories... :cry: But I still wanna browse it through till I found my fated one :mrgreen:

@NewMember: WOAH! I'm thinking of gaga now. Maybe d cat will change to an old man wearing gaga suit after destroying d horde of monsters and will b d legendary hero of milky way. RaaarrGHH! :lol: Sorry it's just too alien for me. I can't build a story from ur idea. Maybe if u have a whole story like this that'll make evryone die from LOLing throughout d entire game? :D

@Mink: I'm done wth d sketch! Yay! Will post it after coloring :D !
I know u're right... I know that... But u know those classes that'll make u must choose between 2 absolute choices: sleep or do sth else to distract d sleepiness... :cry:

@Meatpie: Hmmm... rather interesting (god and satan)... But I don't know where d main story is? Is it just about a never ending competition between god and satan till 1 of them dead? Can u make it more...story-ish(?) (I can't find d right word... sorry for my lack of vocab :cry: )
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#17 Post by Sunlit-Dreamer » Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:35 pm

I'm sure you'll find one. ^^ After all there are 42 pages filled with ideas. And that is a LOT of ideas. Would browse through it myself but I also constantly think of new ideas. @@ Which would suit long vns....blah.

Take your time when you're doing your work and artwork. Can't get a bad grade through rushing, and that way your drawing will look just the way you want it to or better.

And it's all right about your vocab being limited. After all, when it comes to another language that is secondary to our own, all of us would have trouble. So for example I decided to have a character speak Tagalog in one of my vns, I would have to ask my mom to do it for me. Because I don't know the language at all. As for you, we can understand. ^^
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#18 Post by lordcloudx » Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:22 pm

@JustAnotherMe: Yah, I prefer my stories to be bittersweet and a little bit open-ended, although I always do try to resolve all major plot points before concluding. Well, thank you for reading, anyway. If you feel like it, certainly! Feel free to make a pic.
How do you make your games? I see. Thank you for the prompt replies, but it is my considered opinion that you're doing it wrong inefficiently because I am a perfushenal professional. Do it my way this way and we can all ascend VN Nirvana together while allowing me to stroke my ego you will improve much faster. Also, please don't forget to thank me for this constructive critique or I will cry and bore you to death respond appropriately with a tl;dr rant discourse of epic adequately lengthy proportions. - Sarcasm Veiled in Euphemism: Secrets of Forum Civility by lordcloudx (Coming soon to an online ebook near you.)

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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#19 Post by JustAnotherMe » Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:50 pm

@Mink: Pah! There u r, Mink! Hopefully not too obvious in which story it belong to. Sorry it's bad, I can't find spare time to make details T_T. U see my interpretation of Gretchen is that she's not a gloomy, but rather a spiteful, two-faced vicious girl that good at maintaining her lies. I'm wondering, is Gretchen looks like more or less than 17? I wanna make her looks younger since
d witch didn't recognize her as 17 and gave her d poison that works for younger child
And Harris looks like a girl!! I just can't make beautiful boy looks like boy...
(I just realized that I write her name Gretche(L))

@Sunlit-Dreamer: I asked for a help from d recruitment thread. But it looks like I must b patient, she works for another already. So, yeah, I'm still searching for a good short story. Too bad ur ideas mostly for long vns... (It looks like we're a little bit alike ^w^)
Anyway, sorry for stupid question. Do u know how to change d thread's name? (better ask than b dumb forever)
Btw, ur mom speak tagalog? What country do u live in?

@lordcloudx: Thx! I'll post it laterrrrrr... (God knows when...) Hopefully my drawing won't b too bad... I wanna pratice drawing planes.^_^
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#20 Post by Sunlit-Dreamer » Fri Oct 14, 2011 5:18 pm

They're......they're so cute! Harris reminds me of Len! Leeeeeeeen~ *tries to ignore the blood*

As for how to change it, you go to your very first post and click edit. Then simply change the title. Voila! (dw I had to ask too)

And if I ever think of another short story idea I'll be sure to let you know.

As for where I live, I live in the US. My mom was from the Philippines but she married my dad who was in the Navy, thus here we are. So yeah she speaks Tagalog. She WAS teaching me when I was young, but my dad put a stop to it when we moved to this country. So I pretty much know zilch about the language.

Hmm....I should kidnap you to draw for my vn. BWUAHAHAHAHA! But than that would make the guys cute when I'm trying not to. XD
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#21 Post by Mink » Fri Oct 14, 2011 5:38 pm

Oh, I like it. Funnily enough, I designed her as being blonde too (maybe making her dark-haired is too obvious). And yeah, she's supposed to look younger than what she is, and you got the reason as to why. And the fact she is actually older
is why she couldn't smell the gingerbread house; it's to lure young children and she's technically not a child.
Also, your interpretations isn't really far off. That how she was originally meant to be but I tried to tone it down. May have possibly failed, but I'm okay with that. 8D

Lol, it's okay about the name. I'll sometimes do the same thing myself.

@Sunlit-Dreamer: Maybe their last name is Kagamine. >x>
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#22 Post by Sunlit-Dreamer » Fri Oct 14, 2011 6:00 pm

*le gasp* The Vocaloid Kagamine twins! Rin must be wearing a wig since it's very unlikely she'd ever cut her bangs and wearing contacts. XF

Still as evil from the Daughter of Evil series I see. Naughty Rin. (Well maybe not since I haven't played the vn so....blah)

Gimmeh your art skills JustAnotherMe! Gimme gimme gimme!
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Re: Have a Short Story? (Wanna practice making a game)

#23 Post by JustAnotherMe » Fri Oct 14, 2011 9:47 pm

@Sunlit: Make them cute! Make them cute!! *offering myself for the sake of d cuteness*
Hey! Why not?? Let me make ur sprite (If u don't mind with it being my practicing drawing sprite... Gretchen and Harris is d first chara I drew after a year with no contact to d awesomeness of drawing...)
I was hoping u're in Thailand, coz I've planned to go there next year...and kind of need a tour guide coz I'll b backpacking...XD
I didn't know about rin and len b4 u wrote them in this thread, but i know miku. And yeah, len looks like Harris! @_@
Just call me "Me" btw. :)

I changed the thread's name!! :lol:

@Mink: Huwaaa, thx God my Gretchen isn't that farrr. And u like it! :D
Would u let me make d sprite for this story? I still don't really like fairy tales to b my game, u know, I like a surprising story, and fairy tales kind of obvious to me. But ur idea is nice! It'd make it more interactive! :wink:
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Re: Have a Short Story? (became my art dumpage too)

#24 Post by Mink » Fri Oct 14, 2011 10:04 pm

Sure, go ahead. And really, I could change it so that
someone playing could decide whether or not to kill the witch and/or the stepmother.
It's already relatively short and doing that wouldn't bother me. Actually, it'd give me practice on writing alternate paths. Hm...I may do that anyway. >x>

@Sunlit: I swear, Rin is always evil and Len is always getting killed/maimed for some reason. <x<
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Re: Have a Short Story? (became my art dumpage too)

#25 Post by Sunlit-Dreamer » Fri Oct 14, 2011 10:12 pm

http://lemmasoft.renai.us/forums/viewto ... =4&t=12050

XD That's why. For my first vn, I'm making plain characters. So if they were made cute it would take away the point. (Although I guess the CGs could always look nice as a reward for those who decide to give it a try XP)

Nope, don't live anywhere near there. @@ I think there are some people here on lsf who are though.
But that doesn't mean my next vn won't have cute characters. Vocaloids, I love them! Especially the twins and Miku. (Heck I even have a novel planned inspired by a vocaloid song...albeit a creepy one)
And all right Me. Haha. Me.

Yay, you changed it! Put more art when you can so I can stare in awe when you have random art done. =3

@ Mink I understand what you mean. Like in Garden of Evil she kills everyone and planting their hands. I remember one of the vids had the opening with her stabbing Len repeatedly. Poor Len. (He's my fave male Vocaloid)
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Re: Have a Short Story? (became my art dumpage too)

#26 Post by JustAnotherMe » Sat Oct 15, 2011 2:04 pm

@sunlit: Tataaahh!! :lol: This one is just d first pic I made randomly based on ur idea. There'll b another sequel of it (will b d real version). I plan to draw her sister (which I wanna make d sister like sagara sousuke from FMP...his character...) And maybeee, a male cupid that was a devil once @_@ (and I'm planning to make him HOT) But it'll b a while, coz I wanna make lordcloudx's pic first. And I'm kind of working to make bg layout for someone.

LOL, I could do some plain character, really. But maybe I'll work wth u for ur next game, and I promise to make it good... hopefully... I'm still learning to draw...

And yeah... I'm just another you... In the back of your mind... :mrgreen:

Gogogo!! Make a miku game! I fully support you!! I really like her when I played vocaloid on my friend's psp. And just so u know... I'm supporting Rin!!! U know... that feeling of wanting to squish something cute and fluffy and puffy (imagining those cheeks like a mochi... *ugh!*)

@Mink: YAY!! U'll make it!! Taraaahh!!! If u want to make Gretchen different, sure, why don't u throw me ur sketch of her design?? And is it okay wth Harris looking like that? If yeah, I could do some sketches for the sprites. And if u're okay, I could design the other chara too. :D Anyway, I plan to make Gretchen's eyes to b blue like Harris. It makes her more *innocent*

C'mon! C'mon!! Write the alternate path!! It makes the story sooo different, and I like it!!!
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Re: Have a Short Story? (became my art dumpage too)

#27 Post by Sunlit-Dreamer » Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:45 pm

She. Is. So. CUTE! CHIBI! (And to fix your grammar in it since English isn't your main language it's "put your glasses on" or "wear your glasses" ^^ Nothing big.) And like I said earlier feel free to take your time.

I hope lordcloudx's picture and the bg turn out well! So do your best!

XD Yeah, next game. Always best to concentrate on one thing at a time. (Which is why my hw comes first before I concentrate on my vn)

*le gasp* I have another self! (Perceived Self, Desired Self, and Presenting Self. We have TONS of Presenting Selves....it's something I learned in class)

Hmm....a vocaloid game....I'll think about it. (XDDDD)
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Re: Have a Short Story? (became my art dumpage too)

#28 Post by Mink » Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:48 pm

Hm, I think I'd go with 'Stupid Cupid', just because it rhymes. >x>

Really, there's not too much of a difference between your Gretchen and mine. The only real ones are that Gretchen has brown/hazel eyes, and her dress, but that's not really a big deal. And Harris is fine; trust me, I've seen plenty of little boys that I thought were girls, at first. >x>

Also, the alternate path/ending(s) will most likely be
Gretchen poisoning her stepmother to make/keep her compliant, stabbing her, or just leaving her alone (threatening her, but she's unmaimed). At first I thought I may do a choice to kill the witch, but it'd probably be rather stupid to leave a child-eating witch to her own devices, since the witch would know Gretchen knows, and could continue what she's doing elsewhere.
On that note, I'll probably change it to first person and I'm sure Gretchen will end up more sociopathic in the process.

And sure, design the other sprites. The only character I really designed in any way is Gretchen, and the way you've done it is fine with me.

*Fun fact: the song in the story is an actual song, called 'Alone' and was made by Tryad.

Edit: @Sunlit-I've got to admit, I've always been more partial to Luka. >x>
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Re: Have a Short Story? (became my art dumpage too)

#29 Post by JustAnotherMe » Sun Oct 16, 2011 12:47 am

I'm in a rush, I'm gonna post a little :)
D pic here was from when I try to trace and practicing a pic I've found on internet, not too long ago. It's done wth only my trackpad and finger!!! (It's really... really... hard...) Then I retouch ONLY d hair a bit wth my tablet d first time I got my hand on it.

@sunlit: Thx for grammar fix! Yeahhh... I'm still not good wth english... T_T
Hoping my other pic will turn out good too (praying)
Yeah, It's best on focusing on one thing at a time. I have many experiences on that... (remembering those hellish times :x )
What alternate self of u do u think I am? LOL!! Kind of wondering.
Yeah, think about it. But if it doesn't turn out well, u could always drop it. Don't force d story to b similar wth vocaloid, u could always make an absolutely different story!!

@Mink: I'm thinking of many paths. I'll let u know once I get on my laptop next time. I'm thinking of making this game like: "what kind of sociopathic path would u choose? D crueler, d better :lol: "
Okay then, if u're okay wth that. But if u want me to change gretchen's appearance, just gimme ur sketch! :P

I was thinking to go wth stupid cupid too. :lol:
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Re: Have a Short Story? (became my art dumpage too)

#30 Post by Sunlit-Dreamer » Sun Oct 16, 2011 1:50 am

Wow, you seem to be well rounded. Able to do bgs, anime style characters, chibi art, and a slightly more realistic approach. (Although I have to admit his lips are...making me think he's wearing lip gloss)

And don't worry about it too much. I'm sure if I tried to type in another language I'd be making a LOT of mistakes. I'm also sure your next pic will turn out great!

Vocaloid wise, not really sure what I'll do with it. So it'll be on the backburner for now.

As for Luka, I like her songs. Such as Just be Friends, the duet with Sweet Anne for Luka Luka Night Fever (That's the name of the song I think...), Kagome Kagome with Miku, and of course Go Google It duet with Gakupo. XD (There's other songs of course, so many songs @@)
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