@LinWest
I guess this is some sort of fast drawing, as I see some flaws with the inking and the colouring that could have been avoided with more time and care, and in my opinion do detract a bit from the overall look of it. I do quite like the style, it's somehow elegant and could very well suit a darker or more serious story.
Some anatomical problems that I see and I think are a bit detrimental to the overall effect are things like the way you accentuated the lines over the metacarpal bones of the hands, the position of the ear on the man on the left, his shoulders being too "tense" looking (you didn't leave enough space for the
trapezius, which ends up looking way too packed in the shoulders), and their heads (in particular for the man on the right, but the one on the left is more noticeable because of his position in the picture and because he seems to be less affected by whatever filter you used on the picture) being too big for their bodies. I'm personally not really bothered by the hips being narrow, and the shoulders being broader, as it's a stylistic touch that emphasises some aspects of the male anatomy that we may perceive as attractive. Maybe Fortaat doesn't realise that this isn't the problem he's seeing and is just attempting to rationalise that he sees something with the proportions?
I did try to scale it down myself, and it seems to me it actually ended up making the rest of the body more acceptable as a result. As it is now, the distance from the top of his head to the chin seems to equal that of the chin to the sternum, which is in my opinion a bit too far from the ideal (to clear this: I'm not against playing with proportions a bit, as long as the whole picture is still harmonic).
I'd say that, as they are, it's not really clear if they're standing or laying on a surface: if they are standing, they don't seem to be in the right stance, and give the impression that they might fall at any moment; if they are laying somewhere, their hair don't really fall in the right way. I'd work a bit more on your poses, as the man on the left looks quite unnatural, and tense, as he is. His left shoulder is rotated forwards too much, and his fingers don't seem to bend in a natural way - try to have someone grab your hand like that, or just to put your hand in that position: you'll notice that only the index finger will stay straight like you drew them all, the other ones will bend progressively more as you go towards the little finger. The hand over the shoulder is problematic: it's the kind of thing you can only do well if you carefully observe reality. It seems to me you wouldn't see all the fingers down to the knuckle - you'd actually be only able to see down to the second phalanxes, and the end itself wouldn't be seen from that angle, simply because the position of the man's arm wouldn't allow it. I'd say the fingers should be rotated quite a bit to the left, unless he had a very long upper arm which allows his forearm to almost be vertical.
As for the lines, they look a bit uncertain, as if you were trying to be careful. Personal experience taught me that being faster when drawings helps a lot: a few unwanted lines here and there always look a lot better than lines which don't vary much in thickness and are somehow trembly here and there.
I'd say you concentrated the shadows on the clothes too much: you have some thick lines of darker colour, for the most part, and then some wider areas of a middle tone. What happens is that their clothes end up looking wet. I read somewhere that the more defined the creases you draw are, the heavier the fabric will look; wet fabric tends to be pretty heavy, and it sticks to the body for the most part, only popping out in small lines, which is the effect you obtained here.
Lastly, I'd say you used some sort of glow effect on the whole picture, which takes a bit from the guy on the right. He seems out of focus, as a result, and considering that my eyes are automatically attracted to his face (perhaps because he looks directly at the viewer, and has red eyes, which create a contrast of quantity and warmth against mostly cold colours here), I tend to be disturbed by the effect, rather than find it compliments the picture.
As I said, I personally like many aspects of the style, such as the sharp features, and the gloomy look that some of the things I've seen from you seem to have as a distinctive element, but I'd work on improving the other aspects of the illustration to frame and compliment them well, rather than to detract from them.
That said, this is also a totally subjective opinion. I apologise for the long comment, but I like to analyse pictures, and I generally don't red line other people's drawings without asking first as it seems a bit impolite, to me.
To be honest, I think you're being unnecessarily picky with words, "make him look feminine without making his body look off" isn't that different from "This will make him look feminine without looking bad." if you actually really understand how critique works. It seems to me that you're dismissing his way too readily as non descriptive enough, considering that it was good enough for you to come up with an alternative you seem to think is more acceptable, that seems to say the same thing just in a more diplomatic way.
Considering the recent discussion about critique on this forum, I think it's important to try and be humble about the comments we receive, and not defensive.
Fortaat may be more short than other people, but he didn't say your whole picture was bad, he was talking about the anatomy, and the anatomy alone, and how the body you drew looks too feminine in his opinion - he wasn't referring to the composition or the colouring at all in that part of his comment.
Lastly, art is a subjective thing, so things like
Overall the composition, execution, colouring, or line quality don't look bad. That's what I'm referring to. There's anatomy problems. A slip in anatomy does equate with a picture looking bad, merely falling in uncanny valley.
don't make me think you keep in account that other people may think otherwise, as your opinion is subjective.
Also, I'm puzzled as to why you would mention the uncanny valley in this context. I always thought it was the effect which makes it awkward for someone to look at a picture because it looks almost perfectly human save for a small particular which ruins everything, and I wouldn't say this is the case, since you draw very stylised things.
@Sakurazaki:
Neat fake screenshot - I quite like how you went on your way to actually picture the guy from above. Not many people attempt that kind of angle, so it's refreshing to see you trying yourself.
@ Ra-nyan:
You have a very soft and "cozy" style, I quite like it! It reminds me a bit of when I was reading Be mine, back in the days. I get the same feeling of softness and kindness (can drawings be kind anyway?).
@TzozenDark:
That's pretty good for a second attempt. Pay attention to how you draw your eyes, though - the eye on the right in particular seems to lay on a flat surface and not be affected by perspective at all. As The boy is turning his head a bit to the right, his left eye should be foreshortened.