Ideas for great one-liners (was: Lines Dump)

[AshenhartKrie]

"Self-proclaimed? Obviously that means that no one else recognises my awesomness, little moth." <---- something I suspect one of my OCs would say.
"I will not let another person die, even if it costs me my own life." <----- something I myself have said.
"The snow is falling..." <---- IDFK ^_^

[RunicV]

"I will forgive when I forget."

Or

"I will forgive you when I forget what you have done."

[Taleweaver]

"And don't give me that 'offer I can't refuse' crap. I've already had an offer people said I couldn't refuse. I refused. I'm still here."

[ThisIsNoName]

Self-important country boy talking to his "fangirls":

SICB: "Yeah. Well, life's a bitch. You know what else is a bitch?
Everyone else: (annoyed) "YOUR DOG!"
SICB: "Haha. Never gets old."

[AshenhartKrie]

"We were made to die. If we do not die, than we were never alive in the first place." <--- another thing an OC would say.
"In highschool shit hits the fan like there's no tomorrow. But half the time it's diarrhea." <---- gross, but totally true. And i actually said that today. >:3 i am so ebil.

[lemuel]

Far Mind: People say that dwarfs are weak because they are small. Tell that to my Brother! He is small, but he controls his muscles like you wouldn't believe!

[ThisIsNoName]

Something a co-worker said: "I work at 2 speeds. If you don't like this one, you sure aren't gonna like the other one."

[Aedin]

"We have two choices: wade waist deep in horse manure to search for that missing jewel or head back empty-handed and face Mariyah's wrath. Personally, I'd rather take my chances with the poop."

My friend and I wrote strange stories.

[redeyesblackpanda]

a "I did that cab driver from yesterday."
b "Wait, wasn't she a lady?"
a "Let's just say that a 'screwdriver' is aptly named..."

[cuttlefish]

"They build the pillars in the wrong place so that they might tear them down later."

I wished I used this in a recent assignment OTL

[10kNing]

(in the middle of a scolding)
"-- Ah! (pounces up and claps hands together in midair as if catching a firefly) Shhhh... Look... (opens hands a little to give a peek) Here... Look closely... Do you see that?... That... That is how much I care. (opens up empty hands)"

[Greeny]

a *whispers* "Hey! Hats off!"
b *nonchalantly* "What? Why?"
a "BECAUSE WE'RE IN A CHURCH, GODDAMMIT!"

[MarineScripter]

"There are no stupid questions, but there are a ton of inquisitive idiots."

Most of my unused lines have always been much too sarcastic for the particular work I was doing. So I tuck them away in the novels I write.

"You can use both idiots and scissors, but you can't let an idiot use scissors."

[tigerkidde]

"This tomb will be your grave!" -PennyArcade

A: [State your disbelief. Request for anything as if believing.]
-_______
"Dear God, who I do not believe in! Please save the life of this child!"
"Ahah! You ARE a closet believer!"

Q: [insert question here you don't feel like answering]
A: "No hablas espanol."
Watch them give up.
________
"Excuse me Miss, who are you voting for?"
"No hablas espanol."
"That's all right! I speak a little Spanish.... hey wait a minute!"
*run / hang up / fake death flee country*

[Gear]

My two favorites my co-writer and I did:

"All that canned meat? I thought that was your makeup kit."

and

"And here I thought the fairy tale was titled Sleeping {i}Beauty{/i}, not Sleeping Ogre."