Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

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specialtantei
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Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

#1 Post by specialtantei » Sat Dec 01, 2012 12:46 pm

Image
I'll thank the Chief for inspiring me to write something. I haven't written a serious story since last week, and last time I've written one in English was one or two moths ago so...yep. Time to write. I'm a slow writer and my might need to proofread all of them ten times each but hey, improvement comes with practice.
Things I ussualy write:

1.Mistery
2.Mindfuck
3.Yuri
4.Incest/Any kind of forbidden love
5.Fantasy
6.Horror
7.Gore
8.Medieval and Modern settings

I can write anything else if you want, but there are some things I don't really write:

1.Sappy Romance / Otomeish love stories
2.Sci-Fi (I like to read it but I'm really bad at writing it)
3.Meaningless porn (I love erotica but only if it has a meaning in a story and is not a story by itself)
4.FanFictions
5.Realism (really descriptive writing that started in the 19th century, France).

Image

I prefer prompts and music as inspirational material. I'm bad with pictures, though I can give it a try.

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Last edited by specialtantei on Tue Dec 25, 2012 10:07 am, edited 4 times in total.

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Re: Detective's Writing Thread

#2 Post by KomiTsuku » Sat Dec 01, 2012 12:55 pm

Based on the genres you like to write, I've got a great musical prompt for you. 8)


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Re: Detective's Writing Thread

#3 Post by specialtantei » Sat Dec 01, 2012 1:02 pm

KomiTsuku wrote:Based on the genres you like to write, I've got a great musical prompt for you. 8)

I'm soooo gonna give this song a try. Story mind end up being total crack *crazy smirk*. Thanks ~!

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Re: Detective's Writing Thread

#4 Post by specialtantei » Sat Dec 01, 2012 5:53 pm

Wanted to write a short story but ended up writing a wierd poem/song. Okay. Listen to this while reading :). I apologise before hand for any error you might find. (Creepy pic at the end).
Billy's wife was fair, her skin as black as coal,
made her husband proud of having her as his spouse.
But oh one fated day, she met the devil's soul,
Who made her become tained and forget her wedding vows.

Billy found out too late, and asked his mom for help,
She told him an old story, one she knew from long ago.
The story of ol'Malcom, a long forgotten whelp,
Who had a nice red chainsaw, that he used to spread the law.

Ol'Malcom solved his problems with a chainsaw,
And they never come back again,
Oh he solved his problems with a chainsaw
For it was his one and only friend.

Heather was so fair, her skin as black as coal,
made her husband proud of having her as his spouse.
But oh one fated day, she met the devil's soul,
Who made her become tained and forget her wedding vows.

Heather felt so guilty, she drowned in alcohol.
She feared that he might find out so she never said a word.
The night ol'Malcom came searching for her soul,
Her cries painful and silent, just a chainsaw to be heard.

Ol'Malcom solved his problems with a chainsaw,
And they never come back again,
Oh he solved his problems with a chainsaw
For it was his one and only friend.

Daniel the nice lawyer, loved to touch her skin,
Every night he would leave his home just to see her smile.
He didn't fully grasp the evil of their sin
So with her death, everyone seemed oh so cruel and vile.

He needs to see a doctor once every week;
He fears that somone's following him, lurking from behind.
The night ol'Malcom came searching for the weak
His limbs and his head ended up impossible to find.

Ol'Malcom solved his problems with a chainsaw,
And they never come back again,
Oh he solved his problems with a chainsaw
For Malcom and Billy were one once again.
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Re: Detective's Writing Thread

#5 Post by KomiTsuku » Sat Dec 01, 2012 6:51 pm

That is a dark, disturbing poem. I like it. ^_^

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Re: Detective's Writing Thread

#6 Post by specialtantei » Sat Dec 01, 2012 6:59 pm

KomiTsuku wrote:That is a dark, disturbing poem. I like it. ^_^
Thanks! Let's just say I'm a big Edgar Allan Poe fan~.

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Re: Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

#7 Post by specialtantei » Tue Dec 04, 2012 4:51 pm

Upadted the title of this thing so people know I'm accepting requests :). I might also write something out of personal inspiration, though that's less bound to happen ~~.

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Re: Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

#8 Post by specialtantei » Sun Dec 16, 2012 1:26 pm

*sigh* Another creepy poem. I am hoping to wing a 30 Euro prize with this one and finally buy that tablet! Sorry for the crappiness, I had a 100 words limit :| .
Silent Night
Silent night, so pure and bright,
when children sleep so nice and light,
waiting for the fun and joy
when the next morn’ they’ll find a toy.

A fat old man, all dressed in red,
comes down the chimney, sees the bed;
and right under the Christmas tree
a plate of biscuits with some tea.

He smiles and laughs, for it’s naught
to leave a present, yet he thought
how he desired a child of his own
for every year he felt so alone.

Silent night, so pure and bright,
The child in the sack, and gone from that night.
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Re: Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

#9 Post by destiny_921 » Sun Dec 16, 2012 1:56 pm

What about...this song? :3 Me likey the poem by the way :D
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Re: Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

#10 Post by specialtantei » Sun Dec 16, 2012 2:04 pm

destiny_921 wrote:What about...this song? :3 Me likey the poem by the way :D
I'll write something when I have some free time on my hands :)
And thanks :D!

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Re: Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

#11 Post by specialtantei » Tue Dec 25, 2012 6:17 pm

Kinda late but...here it is! *slow ironic applause*.
The demon queen slowly rose from her throne. Her two faithful servants brought her rapier on a velvet cushion. The moment she brushed it with her fingers, it gave a faint shimmer. She took it in her delicate hands and stared at it for what seemed to be an eternity. At last, she spoke.
''Tonight, my friends, we will be victorious. We will make them angels see their mistake when they chose God instead of us. Tonight, they shall all dine in hell!''
A faithful cry of war filled the room. The queen moved towards the giant door that guarded the hall and flung it open. Outside, the angel army was diligently waiting for their enemies. Bellow the dark clouds they were standing on, the Earth was wrapped in chaos, death and destruction. The Apocalypse was taking place and almost no human was left alive to witness it.
God took a step forward. The King of Heaven and Queen of Hell stared into each-others eyes.
''Lucifer, I see you are as beautiful as ever. '' Even though his hair was white, his face was young and determined. She wasn't behind at all, for her crimson eyes and black hair were equal in beauty, though opposite in personality.
''I see you still haven't lost your touch, Esrael.''
''It has been ages since someone last called me by that name. I guess this is it. Are you sure about this? We don't have to fight if -''
''I am sure. I can't stand it anymore. Your lies, I shall expose them all!''
With a soft but fast movement, she tried to bury her rapier into one of his eyes, but Esrael was fast enough to dodge it. That single movement was enough for the two armies to know the war had begun. Both demons and angles didn't care anymore about collecting the wandering human souls. They just wanted to reduce the other army's numbers as much as possible. Each angel and each demon wanted to see the blood of their enemy.
A battle that lasted three hundred human years was unfold, though for the supernatural beings only mere minutes passed, till a distinct shriek of pain filled the sky. Lucifer was hurt, one of arms missing. Grabbing her wound in a desperate try to stop the bleeding, she was kneeling on the ground, powerless. Her rapier was too far away, still held by the cut-off limb. Esrael kneeled besides her.
''You lost, Lucifer. Stop this fight.''
Hot tears were streaming from her eyes. For the first time in centuries, the Queen of Hell was crying.
''Why? Why did you do this to me? Even though I loved you...you...you banished me from Heaven. Even though I always stayed beautiful for you. Why? You are so cruel, Esrael.''
''I know.'' He caressed her wet cheek, wiping away her tears. ''And even though I'm cruel, I never wanted to throw you away. What you did was a huge surprise for me.''
''I wanted it to be a gift. The moment you got bored with Earth, I thought it would be fun to give you some entertainment. I never thought you would dislike my creation so much...''
''Humans were dirty and brutal, bloody and savage. The fact that you made them look like me was enough of an insult. What made me angry was you not letting me get rid of them. Ever.''
''I...I grew fond of them. They were my children. However, they worshiped you! They loved you! And what was I for them? Nothing but an evil monster who they should hate and never talk to! They talked about you as the creator of man, yet you are nothing but their killer. And now, all my hard work has come to naught. They are all dead. The Earth is destroyed. You should just kill me. I have no other reason to live.''
Esrael giggled.
''You said it yourself. I am cruel, so I won't give you the luxury to die. You were the one who wanted to fight, so don't blame this on me. I did kill them all, and it was fun. Yet my reasons are far more nicer than you think.'' He took her into his arms, healing her wound, though he didn't return her arm. ''Humans became tained. I didn't want such creatures to worship me. I struck them with hurricanes, fires, illnesses, yet they kept coming back to me. They were not the creatures you created.'' He kissed her cheek. ''I love you, Lucifer, and that's why I'll give you another chance.''
Her face became distorted with confusion. ''What do you mean?''
''Humans should have never been a gift to me. They are yours. So here's the deal. Come to heaven with me. I will let you remodel Earth, give birth to humans again. You shall be their God, not me. I am giving you a chance to make them pure and beautiful. Choose.''
She looked at him, not knowing what to answer. Her eyes then changed to her army, which was silently waiting for her response. She didn't want to disappoint her followers, the ones who believed in her pure intentions and heart. She gave them a nod and smiled. She had decided. In a swift movement, she leapt from Esrael's arms and ran to her rapier, grabbing it with her remaining hand. She smiled to her bewildered opponent in a challengind way, and in less than a second, cut one of his arms. He twisted in pain as anger filled his face.
''I am sory, Esrael, but this battle is far from over. I don't need heaven or your permission to start a new Earth. I will do it with my own powers and will. You shall not capture my heart again, and now that we are even, this battle shall not end until one of us is dead. For freedom!''
All the angels and demons started moving again, getting tangled once more in the deadly dance of war, only with the weeping human souls appologising to Lucifer as music for their ballet.
C'EST FINI

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Re: Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

#12 Post by destiny_921 » Wed Dec 26, 2012 1:37 am

Awe.Some. Plot is intriguing. Nicely done! :D
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Re: Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

#13 Post by RunicV » Wed Dec 26, 2012 2:31 am

Ooh, I like that piece! The only complaint is that it's awkard to read because of you not leaving lines between paragraphs, but eh. It would also be nice if you had more description on the fight scene. It's mostly the two talking. Show not tell is the way to go!

I'm not that great in writing, but if you want critique, I wouldn't mind giving a bit.

May I request a piece from you?
Rosalind thinks Nero is weird. Nero thinks Rosalind should try eating marble.
Write something from that prompt, please? As long as it's vaguely related, I wouldn't mind. I'd prefer it not be a poem, but you can do anything you want with it. The most important thing is to have fun and go high. :D
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Re: Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

#14 Post by specialtantei » Wed Dec 26, 2012 4:51 am

Thanks destiny! I tried my best, though now that I'm re-reading it I find it lacking at some points *curses her lack of imagination*.

RunicV thank you for the tips! I guess I tend to slide past descriptions because they're my weak point. Time to attack them full-body, then! Feel free to critique as much as you want. I really enjoy reading what other people think I should improve, instead of what is nice (although I don't mind getting some nice comments, either :lol: ). Well, here goes! Hope you like it ~
.

Rosalind took a last bite from the soul she and her partner had just caught. Strangely enogh, it was the first time they didn't argue who was going to it it. He just gave it in, sitting somewhat far away from her. She left her scythe on the ground and touched her companion on the shoulder. His long, crimson hair fell off it in a slow, almost unexistent motion. He didn't turn around to face her. Rosalind thought he might be angry with her, so she went back to her original seating place and started thinking about what could make him ignore her.

His name was Nero. He had never been very talkative, even though he was really energetic when he stuck around her after a hunt. They would battle over the tiny soul, which often escaped taking advantage of the dispute between the two. Then they argued again because they were both starving. She never told him but...she really liked those moments. The moments when he was normal.

Nero was wierd, or at least so everyone thought, and she was no exception. He didn't like children souls. He ignored the beautiful souls of women. He only fought for the souls of criminals; being the easiest to catch, they were also doomed to be the less tasty. No one wanted those, only when starving, but he so open-heartedly ate them with a smile on his face. Sometimes she had catched a sad tone to his smile, but only for a mere fraction of a second. She never really payed attention to it but now, she felt guilty for not trying to understand her hunting partner better.

A sudden tear streaming down her face took Rosaling by surprise. For how long had she been crying? Nero was not were she expected him to be. He was kneeling besides her, staring at her tears. He gave her a heart-breaking sad smile, and dried her tears with his sleeve.

He opened his mouth to speak, yet no words left his lips. His eyes said it all. The truth she understood only then made her want to shout, yet she knew she had to keep her voice low.

''How much time...do you have left?''

''Nothing. The Elders told me I've fulfilled my punishment, so I have to leave.''

She rested her head on his chest. It was warm and with a beating heart, unlike hers. She now understood why he never allowed her to touch him. She would have known from the moment his skin would've brushed hers.

''So...you're leaving? Are you going back to your realm?''

''Yeah. I am not really dead so I can't stay here forever.''

She held him even tighter.

''Hey...will I be able to visit? At least once?'' He smiled an patted her head.

''Of course you dummy. And then, let's eat some marble.'' Rosalind gave him a wierd look. She knew humans were different but eating stone was not one of her hobbies. At all.

''I don't think neither you or me have the teeth for that kind of deed.'' She spat her words through another flow of tears.

''It's a cake, a very delicious chocolate cake. We'll eat from it together, okay?''

''Y-yeah.'' She stood up and properly hugged him. An elder came running towards them, pulling Nero apart towards the now open portal to Earth. He waved goodbye and threw her a beautiful carved in stone flower. She held it to her chest and swallowed her pride.

''When you die and become a soul, let's be a team again!''

A warm laughter was the only answer, before he was flung through the portal. And against the Elders' will, Rosalind kept going there every day, hoping he would come back, holding the flower as a token of their feelings.
C'EST FINI
...I think I killed the original idea I had in mind. Oh well. Why am I getting so emotional lately? I think the lack of romance in my life is clearly showing in what I'm writing. I'll be darker next time. Let there be guts, blood, and murder ~. *laughs histerically. mother staring at me from across the room*.

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Re: Detective's Writing Thread [Open to Requests]

#15 Post by RunicV » Fri Dec 28, 2012 4:30 am

Thanks for the piece of writing~! I was planning on giving critique, but then my mind just died at giving coherent advice I like the idea behind it, and the glimpse of the world they were in. It looks pretty interesting. I thought it felt a bit too rushed, though, I didn't really feel any emotion behind it. Maybe you could elaborate a bit more on their relation ship? It would be better to add more description.

I'll chuck another prompt at you, so here~!
Image
See what you can do with that. :D
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Please, treat me with kindness.

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