How to create "waking up" scene in a more dynamic way?

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How to create "waking up" scene in a more dynamic way?

#1 Post by sapiboonggames » Tue Jul 02, 2013 5:36 am

Now, I'm sorry if there have been threads like this...
I want to ask if we can create "waking up" scene in a more dynamic way?

I want to make the wake up scene more dramatic because it's a rather important event to start the scene.

Tiny bits of my stories that I want to put the scene in:
-MC wakes up in a morning he thinks is just a usual, boring morning. However the morning is not just as usual.
-As soon as he wakes up, he finds it strange that the house is so quiet. He wakes up in anxiety to find that no person in the family is present.
-It's from third POV I've always used first POV because it's easier D:

I want the waking up scene to focus on how silent the morning is.

Now, I'm not a talented writer and English is not my first language.
I need you experienced writers your help! :)
Last edited by sapiboonggames on Tue Jul 02, 2013 7:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How to create "waking up" scene in a more dramatic way?

#2 Post by deviltales » Tue Jul 02, 2013 6:53 am

I'm far from being an experienced writer, but here, I'll try.
To make a dramatic scene you need to insert the dramatism... Lol, sounds so stupid
I always compare dramatic with unusual or suspect.
I'll do like this if I was in your place, while keeping your bits of stories.
First, you must ask yourself why the dramatic scene? There's always a reason for everything.
Your reason here is the weird atmosphere. There HAS to be something to make the MC consider the morning not as usual. That is, as it is stated next, that he is alone. In this part is the focus of the dramatic tension. Depending on the MC's personality, write his reaction. Is he worried? cool? pleased? afraid? still half-asleep? That depends on your choice.
Third PoV is great for suspense scenes, because the reader's view is completely objective. If you want to put a more pronounced accent on the MC's reactions and inner thoughts, use first PoV.
I always considered Third PoV a lot easier than first PoV. This is your story, so do as you wish :D !
I hope my comment was useful.
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Re: How to create "waking up" scene in a more dramatic way?

#3 Post by sapiboonggames » Tue Jul 02, 2013 7:12 am

deviltales wrote:I'm far from being an experienced writer, but here, I'll try.
To make a dramatic scene you need to insert the dramatism... Lol, sounds so stupid
I always compare dramatic with unusual or suspect.
I'll do like this if I was in your place, while keeping your bits of stories.
First, you must ask yourself why the dramatic scene? There's always a reason for everything.
Your reason here is the weird atmosphere. There HAS to be something to make the MC consider the morning not as usual. That is, as it is stated next, that he is alone. In this part is the focus of the dramatic tension. Depending on the MC's personality, write his reaction. Is he worried? cool? pleased? afraid? still half-asleep? That depends on your choice.
Third PoV is great for suspense scenes, because the reader's view is completely objective. If you want to put a more pronounced accent on the MC's reactions and inner thoughts, use first PoV.
I always considered Third PoV a lot easier than first PoV. This is your story, so do as you wish :D !
I hope my comment was useful.
Hi there! Thanks for your answer!
Well.. the MC himself is usually a calm person. But the silence in the house makes him feel weird. He wakes up and searches the rooms.
I want to make it third POV because the MC is not the type to think aloud inside his heart. (I want to make him seem like a calm person, if I describe the suspense in his heart it will make him seem like a scaredy-cat? :D)

Actually, what I mean by dramatic is like: the birds chirping, the sounds of wind blowing. Seems like I used the wrong word to describe what I want... . I want to make the "waking up" scene focuses in how silent the morning is (silent, as if, no sounds of people's activities at all)
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Re: How to create "waking up" scene in a more dynamic way?

#4 Post by unknown5 » Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:53 am

i'm not a writer, so dunno if this helps, but just wondering ...

1) how silent is this silence? like a supernatural, 'the entire world has stopped', freaky kind of silence?
no traffic. no birds. no air movement. so silent that you can hear your heart beating and the blood rushing through your body like in an anechoic chamber?
that would raise the anxiety level very quickly when you can hear everything going on in your body very clearly.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anechoic_chamber

or 2) is this a 'where is everybody' kind of silence? where the sounds of daily activity are missing?

when the character wakes up, he wouldn't instantly notice it, but it would dawn on him slowly in bits and pieces.

- like maybe the sound of someone singing in the kitchen making breakfast is missing. he's used to waking up to the smell of (insert favorite food) in the morning, but it's not there. but he thinks maybe the person slept in late. maybe that person has been feeling sick.
- or there is no sound of running water and someone brushing their teeth in the bathroom. he thinks, 'lucky! no one's using the bathroom, so i don't have to wait for the others!'
- then the sound of a sister arguing with her little brother isn't there. 'good, i don't have to deal with their nonsense this early in the morning. such a bother.'

then he realizes that it's odd that NONE of the usual sounds are there, and the anxiety starts to creep in.

using folksy details might add to the anxiety element because you are creating nice, family images in the reader's mind, but then threatening them by eliminating them.

also, he could go into denial or try to come up with a calm, rational explanation.
- could check the clock. maybe he woke up really early/late, etc. but nope.
- maybe they all went out for some reason. goes downstairs. no signs of activity.
- looks outside. mode of transportation - bicycles, cars, etc. still there.
- goes back inside. checks their rooms. odd.
- looks for notes or messages, etc.

since he's a calm character, he goes through quickly, logically, and thoroughly every possibility, but they are all dead ends.

perhaps he gets more and more frightened/desperate with each action. always thinking to himself that there's probably some simple explanation that he's overlooking ... but there are NONE. muahahahahahah!

if u want to keep the character in denial longer, perhaps there had been a similar incident in the past. they had all gone outside for some reason (stare at a ufo, car accident, naked man running down the street). not exactly the same since they all came back inside the house after a few minutes. but this could make him wait or delay action longer, if the plot requires it.

---

anyhoo, dunno if that's what you were looking for without more details about the plot/story.
just rambling ideas off the top of my head. haven't really thought them through, so might have logic errors or there might be better ways to do it.

pretty much i try to run the scenario through my head realistically. how would the main character react? how would i react if i were the main character? and keep the things that might be interesting/useful in building up the story. and maybe also reveal things about the characters, personalities, plot, their relationships/bonds at the same time.

g'luck and have fun with the story. =)

edit: another possibility is calling their cellphones. and each and every ring coming from within the house. lots of ideas to play around with.
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Re: How to create "waking up" scene in a more dynamic way?

#5 Post by sapiboonggames » Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:12 am

unknown5 wrote: or 2) is this a 'where is everybody' kind of silence? where the sounds of daily activity are missing?

when the character wakes up, he wouldn't instantly notice it, but it would dawn on him slowly in bits and pieces.

- like maybe the sound of someone singing in the kitchen making breakfast is missing. he's used to waking up to the smell of (insert favorite food) in the morning, but it's not there. but he thinks maybe the person slept in late. maybe that person has been feeling sick.
- or there is no sound of running water and someone brushing their teeth in the bathroom. he thinks, 'lucky! no one's using the bathroom, so i don't have to wait for the others!'
- then the sound of a sister arguing with her little brother isn't there. 'good, i don't have to deal with their nonsense this early in the morning. such a bother.'

then he realizes that it's odd that NONE of the usual sounds are there, and the anxiety starts to creep in.

using folksy details might add to the anxiety element because you are creating nice, family images in the reader's mind, but then threatening them by eliminating them.

also, he could go into denial or try to come up with a calm, rational explanation.
- could check the clock. maybe he woke up really early/late, etc. but nope.
- maybe they all went out for some reason. goes downstairs. no signs of activity.
- looks outside. mode of transportation - bicycles, cars, etc. still there.
- goes back inside. checks their rooms. odd.
- looks for notes or messages, etc.

since he's a calm character, he goes through quickly, logically, and thoroughly every possibility, but they are all dead ends.

perhaps he gets more and more frightened/desperate with each action. always thinking to himself that there's probably some simple explanation that he's overlooking ... but there are NONE. muahahahahahah!

if u want to keep the character in denial longer, perhaps there had been a similar incident in the past. they had all gone outside for some reason (stare at a ufo, car accident, naked man running down the street). not exactly the same since they all came back inside the house after a few minutes. but this could make him wait or delay action longer, if the plot requires it.
Number 2) is what I'm looking for! Thanks for the answer! The missing of what sound example is nice!
Though... he doesn't exactly "like" his family nor is his family nice to him. So after he checks all the rooms he won't try to contact them (in fact, I think he'll be happy?).

Anyway, I like your answer! :D
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Re: How to create "waking up" scene in a more dynamic way?

#6 Post by dramspringfeald » Wed Jul 03, 2013 11:59 pm

I always love "waking to/from the defining silence."

Always use opposites; Blinding light, Stunning Motion, Burning cold and so on. Sets up that something has gone very wrong.
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Re: How to create "waking up" scene in a more dynamic way?

#7 Post by AznGreen » Thu Jul 04, 2013 4:34 pm

It would help if you had provided more information, but I hope this is more than enough to help you out.

The rays of the morning sun shines through MC's window, waking him from his sleep. It's surprising that somebody such as MC is awaken by the sun rather than the sound of his alarm clock. A MC is waking up, he notices that something is... off. The usual sounds of wind blowing through his window or the loud barking of his neighbor's dog is missing. An awkward thing to feel for somebody like him. It's not normal for people to notice these kinds of thing when they wake up, but MC different. What is normal to everybody is weird for him and what is weird to him is normal to everybody. An eerie feeling rushed through his body like a small shock of electricity rushing through his hair.

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Re: How to create "waking up" scene in a more dynamic way?

#8 Post by AquaEG » Thu Jul 18, 2013 1:22 pm

There were chirps. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at the pale-white ceiling. He waited for a moment, expecting an onslaught of annoying noise from his family to hit him then and there. His siblings' raised arguments on who uses the bathroom first. And the loud fizz of the kitchen stove as his mom made breakfast. He moved his hands to cover both his ears and sighed. But then, he realized something strange. He didn't hear anything. His eyes glanced at his bedroom door, trying to pick out movement through the cracks. There were no shadows. No anything.

He felt his lips turn up and he pushed himself upright. He kept listening. It was true! He couldn't hear anything besides the birds chirping outside, and the silence was almost as heavenly as the morning light pouring in through the window blinds. He was in a good mood for the first time. He'd probably woken up first in the house, as he obviously had beat the alarm clock.

He got out of bed with a slow smile spreading across his face and made his bed in a little bit. That was when his eyes skimmed over the clock. 9:00?! He frowned, confused. Wait, so...everyone had probably gone out already, then? And left him to sleep in. His brother had probably messed with his alarm clock, so that he'd wake up late. He groaned, flopping limply on his newly-made bed. He was so late. School already started and he hadn't even brushed his teeth yet. He turned on his side, confirming in his head that he didn't like his family at all. Even if they were blood-related.
:D Is this what you were looking for? I hope I helped to start you off.

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