The Worlds of Haruhi Suzumiya Project - My Plot Outline

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Dread Lord
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The Worlds of Haruhi Suzumiya Project - My Plot Outline

#1 Post by Dread Lord » Thu Jan 08, 2015 1:19 pm

I found this dead project forum site and it irritated me so I wrote my complete plot sketch and map then simplified the whole thing with the Snowflake method over the span of a few hours yesterday.

http://www.wohs-project.org/forum/index.php

Considering the major thrust of this forum, and as a potential boon to any writers looking to create their own cohesive protagonist centered literature, I used the following guidelines and Questions to create what I now post on that forum and this one below:

http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/a ... ke-method/

Is it worth even as much effort as the few hours I spent writing it? Does this project deserve even a second look even under new management?

I leave these answers to you. What immediately follows is what I posted on the dying project forum page yesterday followed by my actual work on the subject with the questions

What might go into a decent WoHS Project Story? - The Simplified Outline.

As a game for the remaining active members, I would like to extend a offer to join me in what you would consider a decent (doesn't have to be great) WoHS Story with or without choices.

If you decide to participate then please use the same structure so we can get a complete plot structure out of it that might inspire others to pick up our WoHS story idea and turn it into some kind of fleshed out visual or kinetic novel with art, dialogue, and action elements. Since I am starting the game I would like to go first...

The Situation:

1. Please summarize your story in 20 words or less.

A dying Angel Slider must outwit a Demon Warlord's plot to consume his power and enter Heaven with an Evil Army.

2. Briefly describe the setup, major disasters, and the end of the novel. Ideally this takes five sentences: first sentence = backdrop and setup; second sentence through the fourth = are the disasters; last sentence, how it all ends.

Note: [A three act story needs at least 3 major disasters plus an ending. Each disaster should take a quarter of the story and the ending gets the last quarter slice of the story. A three act story has the first disaster culminate at the end of the first act, the second disaster near the midpoint of the second Act, and the third disaster at the end of Act 2, with Act 3 to wrap the disaster's up.]

Setup and Backdrop: Angel Slider is banished to Haruhi's world where his sanity, empathy, and soul is being consumed by Haruhi whom the Demonic warlord plans to eat since her Will is weak compared to the Angel who refuses to break so the demonic warlord's plan is to allow Haruhi to kill the Angel for him then devour her FAR weaker/unharrowed/corruptable mind, heart, soul gaining the Angel's power and full knowledge of exactly how to create a Gate into Heaven to open the way for his Demonic Legion invasion force.

Disaster 1: Trying to survive long enough to reach Haruhi without being killed by Espers, Alien Interfaces, or Assassin Time Travelers tipped off to look for him by the Angel's demonically-induced entrance into the world.

Disaster 2: Trying to survive Haruhi after convincing her that she is killing him by draining away his life-force (mind, heart, soul) and his powers as well as that Time Travelers, Aliens, and Espers exist while also avoiding those entities including the SOS brigade who have decided that he is a direct threat to the serenity of their resident Goddess.

Disaster 3: Trying to defeat the demon lord's assault of the world with an unstable but fully aware Haruhi wielding a power she does not understand how to use effectively against the demon lord and its legions.

Resolution: Depending on whatever branching paths led to this point, a soul-link formed between them over the course of the VN effectively merges the two together allowing the Angel's mind to train/temper Haruhi's soul to fight the battle...and prevail over the Demon Lord. The Angel's Will strengthened over the course of the campaign by his brush with mortality makes Victory possible.

Alternatively, if the Angel compromised himself or his ideals (set flags where you will) in the process of getting to the Resolution, then Haruhi consumes the last of the Angel's essence and lashes out feebly against the Demon Lord's power who in turn consumes her as his Legions consume and harvest her world in order to invade and reap Heaven.

3. Characters are the most important part of the story. Since this is an established canon in a set universe, then you know everything but the protagonist who is OC material.

Thumbnail Dossier follows:

Name: Christopher Tenebrae

A One Sentence summary - Character's storyline: The Angel Slider is the one who must carry the plot forward through his actions and in-actions. Everything listed in 2. is something he must do alone or with only those allies he can convince along the way to help him survive long enough to accomplish his goals.

The Character's Motivation: To reclaim his essence, defeat the Demon Lord and its Legions or at least ensure that his power is not abused to tear a dimensional rift into Heaven, lure his fellows into an Ambush, or otherwise help the Demon Lord in any way.

The Character's Goal: Find Haruhi. Convince her to stop eating him and to voluntarily relinquish his power and essence back to him. Save the world and Heaven from the Demon Lord's plot.

The Character's Conflict: Everyone that views HIM as the demon since the Demon Lord opened a rift into the world and pushed the Angel through it. They are after him and he has to survive with little means of defending himself from the supernatural threats his power through Haruhi has created for him.

The Character's Epiphany: This character will grow and learn what it takes to survive without benefit of his vaunted powers. He will gather allies to his cause and help Haruhi let go of her worst instincts before the Demon Lord succeeds.

One paragraph summary: Already written.
Last edited by Dread Lord on Tue Jan 27, 2015 11:26 pm, edited 20 times in total.

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Re: The Worlds of Haruhi Suzumiya Project - My Plot Outline

#2 Post by Dread Lord » Thu Jan 08, 2015 5:13 pm

Here is The Eternal Crusade. I wrote and copyrighted this some time ago in preparation for this day and the days ahead where I find a use for it...it encompasses a vital part of my Angel character's primary belief system and is one of three central tenets of his Celestial Order...
The Eternal Crusade

"Spirit of Life, I hear thy call
Light of Balance, I find thy way
Awaken Mana, I greet thy day"

"Mortal Twilight, my death is cast.
Moment of Transition, my doubts are past.
Thy Body is Dust, and I am free!
Arise Mana, for I am thee!"

"Eternal Crusade, thy Aetherial spirit is Harrowed at last...
cast against the Entropic Void; adrift upon the Infinite Sea...
of Life stained forever by Chaos, by Doubt, by Mortality...

I will fight unto the End of my Eternal Life
wrapped within Celestia's warm embrace
To reunite Heaven and Earth
with the imperishable glory of the human race."


Last edited by Dread Lord on Sat Jan 31, 2015 1:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The Worlds of Haruhi Suzumiya Project - My Plot Outline

#3 Post by Dread Lord » Sun Jan 18, 2015 12:18 am

Its sad, that even with this many views none have found what I've given here worthy of a reply.

In hopes that some read it, what would you change to improve the concept?

Angels have ridiculous potential to be Mary Sue/Marty Stu characters right from the outset simply because one of the world's major religions would have it so...I wanted to honor that slightly but strip that essence away at the story's beginning so he has to fight to reclaim what he was without dishonoring his ideals.

The story premise is to take an Angel and strip him of his power unjustly before thrusting him into a world that is literally eating him alive. He must reclaim the essence or have his mind, heart, and soul slowly die. What is an Angel but a transcendent being? This transcendence gives him strength to endure mortality after Death forced him to leave it behind to become something far greater...is that greatness in the flashy powers, wings, and other trappings or does it grow more deeply in the conceptual bindings thought to echo across humanity mortal and ascended being entire. Instead of crass things like the flesh, blood, and bone, I wanted to ask what would a being forged of conceptual bindings of the mind, heart, and soul do with the weakness of mortality and Angelic morality in a hostile world that actively chips away at his sanity, his empathy, and his will?

How could he remain whole and still deal with the basic needs of survival trapped in a prison that is literally a world wide as his most basic sense of self is consumed by a human child who unwittingly stolen the power that allows him to remain alive? Does he fall or does he manage to deal with his paradox without going mad and consuming the child in question to survive without losing himself in the process?

Just simple things...likely no-one's answered because no-one really interested. Angels are supposed to be perfection inside and out and perfection is boring in stories...forget I mentioned it.
Last edited by Dread Lord on Sat Jan 31, 2015 1:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The Worlds of Haruhi Suzumiya Project - My Plot Outline

#4 Post by Mad Harlequin » Sun Jan 18, 2015 12:52 am

Dread Lord wrote:It's sad that even with this many views none have found what I've given here worthy of a reply.

In hopes that some read it, what would you change to improve the concept?
Well, I'm rather confused. Is this plot outline for a Haruhi Suzumiya fanfiction, or for an original work about angels?
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
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Re: The Worlds of Haruhi Suzumiya Project - My Plot Outline

#5 Post by Dread Lord » Sun Jan 18, 2015 1:36 am

Mad Harlequin wrote:
Dread Lord wrote:It's sad that even with this many views none have found what I've given here worthy of a reply.

In hopes that some read it, what would you change to improve the concept?
Well, I'm rather confused. Is this plot outline for a Haruhi Suzumiya fanfiction, or for an original work about angels?
Its a completely original work about angels that I'm using established characters as a vehicle for development.

The motivation for it was born from frustration with the failure of another fan-related project to progress beyond its initial chapter due to a lack of fleshed out story ideas concerning what might be a Slider and interest from the creator of it who sort of abandoned it after a while. Now its its own thing. The poem is mine, the character being an Angel is mine, everything beyond the setting I'm plopping him into is all mine. So perhaps world-building should be as well?

The only problem I have with that right now with doing everything myself is judging whether or not its worth the layers and layers of world-building needed to construct something and doing it fast enough to actually finish it within a reasonable span of time. So to answer your question, yes its my original work but I'm not confident in my ability to world-build everything myself. My degree work already consumes my soul so I can't really savor what I write for fun if it only exists in the vacuum that is the internet so long as even the story concept remains bereft of at least some tangible interest from the world so I'm floating something initially to them who abandoned their project but now to others who might find some value in it.

Writing for myself means the world will never see it. So this encoded in this plot outline is a question for you reading this: Is the concept of a non-Marty Stu Angel protagonist worthy of continuing into worlds I build myself? I can fit this original prototype character of mine into an established universe after stripping him of all the Marty Stu fluffiness that makes him special and challenge him to survive in a world whose "creator" is slowly devouring him alive without even being aware of it and surrounded by those devoted to keeping her ignorant of her Mary Sue powers.

In essence the Angel is fighting against the manifestations of his own power with nothing more than his mind, heart, and soul wrapped in a fragile mortal body. The plot is more of a race against time, himself, the elements, and the resident goddess and her minions while struggling to keep his own ideals and moral compass intact in the process.

The tricky thing for me is sitting quietly typing into a computer after my workday is done only to hit a wall of disinterest and a sense that what been written has no value to the world since I've written it. I have no mouth and I must scream at the screen sort of thing. Family and friends I have, true; but none read leisurely and all those in my subject area aren't exactly the creative types. Strangers would consider me strange outside of a venue like this and my college town doesn't exactly care much for any hobby outside of bar, restaurant, movie theater.

So as a concept, what do you think of it? In my original work, I plan to make Angels dependent on selected mortals by simply not allowing them a physical body but able to communicate with their mortal children through interaction with their children's mind. In essence I plan to make them conceptual beings who must unite Heaven and Earth with the aid of mortal human beings. They will be awesome in their plane of existence but largely powerless without a mortal to ride around in. Finding the appropriate balance between seen and unseen worlds is the next stage of my development as a writer. Now I just need to finish a story where the harder bits of setting and character building is done so I can prove to myself I can write well enough to reach the next stage.

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Re: The Worlds of Haruhi Suzumiya Project - My Plot Outline

#6 Post by Mad Harlequin » Sun Jan 18, 2015 2:11 am

Dread Lord wrote:The poem is mine, the character being an Angel is mine, everything beyond the setting I'm plopping him into is all mine. So perhaps world-building should be as well?
I don't see why not. If you're bothering to create something original, it ought to be wholly original.
The only problem I have with that right now with doing everything myself is judging whether or not its worth the layers and layers of world-building needed to construct something and doing it fast enough to actually finish it within a reasonable span of time.
You know, you don't have to rush to finish "within a reasonable span of time." Take as long as you need. Yes, there are writers who can churn out a book a year, but that doesn't mean that writers who take more time aren't worth reading.
Writing for myself means the world will never see it. So this encoded in this plot outline is a question for you reading this: Is the concept of a non-Marty Stu Angel protagonist worthy of continuing into worlds I build myself?
I think so. You should, too. If you enjoy writing, it doesn't really matter who sees what is produced. There's no law stating your work only matters if other people are aware of it. Emily Dickinson's poetry was discovered after her death, for example.
I'm an aspiring writer and voice talent with a passion for literature and an unhealthy attachment to video games. I am also a seasoned typo-sniper. Inquiries are encouraged. Friendly chats are welcome.
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
— Mark Twain

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Re: The Worlds of Haruhi Suzumiya Project - My Plot Outline

#7 Post by Rarykos » Tue Jan 27, 2015 9:06 pm

This all sounds really interesting and I'd be interested in reading it!
Especially since I'm a Haruhi fan myself. Still, as a creative, I think the setting of Haruhi is so simple you can very easily condense it and lose nothing except for "fan-fiction" label. There's barely any world-building involved, just characters. Plus, it gives you a lot of freedom to implement your own ideas, just spend as much as you need to make it great!

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Re: The Worlds of Haruhi Suzumiya Project - My Plot Outline

#8 Post by Dread Lord » Wed Jan 28, 2015 12:45 am

Rarykos wrote:This all sounds really interesting and I'd be interested in reading it!
Especially since I'm a Haruhi fan myself. Still, as a creative, I think the setting of Haruhi is so simple you can very easily condense it and lose nothing except for "fan-fiction" label. There's barely any world-building involved, just characters. Plus, it gives you a lot of freedom to implement your own ideas, just spend as much as you need to make it great!
You are the first to openly like the concept and communicate this to me in such clear, concise terms. Thank you.

BTW, this was my original plan all along: to use a universe with a basic world and characters all pretty well established to test and refine the idea of power turned against its own Angelic Master by someone ignorant of its very existence as part of an Xanatos Gambit. He would have to work to break the chain of disbelief without resorting to cheap tricks, drawing the others into proving to Haruhi the very thing they are committed to obfuscating within the mind of their resident goddess, turning enemies first committed to killing him on his arrival in the first act into allies by the third. This must be done before drawing the Demon Lord into a finale where the Angel is forced to rely on others to help do what he was not capable of doing all by himself in the prologue. The concrete goal for him throughout the work is to survive long enough to defeat the Demon Lord's plan to consume and absorb his power and essence in order to force its way into Heaven with an entire Legion of Hell along with the Demon Lord itself. His poetic oath helps to define him as a protagonist and the last stanza only scratches the surface of his commitment to mankind's higher nature and the destruction of the Void that separates and threatens Heaven and Earth across a multiverse populated with mortal, harrowed, and celestial people across countably infinite worlds.

I will develop the idea further and learn how to make it worth the work required to give the conceptual outline written above its value.

Again, thank you both for offering encouragement. I will see to it that it is not misplaced.

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