First Impression

[ladynamoru]

Hello and Good day.
I think I have a weird way of writing.
Im the type who write every thing that I want and draw what I want.
As of now Im having trouble patching the ideas together (I felt like Im making a puzzle than a VN)
Shockingly Ive finished writing about the endings and yet still stuck at chapter 1 (>_<)
"First Impression"

Can I ask your opinion which is better between the two (coz I feel like Im choosing a dress since both fit in the story and I like both of the Idea)

A. The guys are introduced as Jerks
B. the guys are introduced as kind individuals

Note : This is for an Otome Game

Thank you very much and sorry for the trouble

[YonYonYon]

I'd choose B, because I hate jerks with an exception for glorious ones.

But usually these guys are plain assholes, calling Heroines names and pushing them away. I'm not gonna work my arse off just to see their so called "soft" side and heart of gold, and I'm not gonna pursue anyone who's not interested in relationship and force myself on them.
Like in Seduce Me, the first time I saw Sam he was all "What? We're gonna stay here with this... woman?! Ewww! Eww! Ewww!" (not a citation). My reaction was not "Omg, so hot!" but "Fine, you prick. I'll keep my distance"

As for glorious bastards, they're unapologetically assholes. Their jerkness isn't a facade, they're indeed jerks. And they already have some good qualities, you don't have to dig deeper to get the heart of gold like with those damn tsunderes. That's why they're so fun to watch.

[ladynamoru]

I'd choose B, because I hate jerks with an exception for glorious ones.

But usually these guys are plain assholes, calling Heroines names and pushing them away. I'm not gonna work my arse off just to see their so called "soft" side and heart of gold, and I'm not gonna pursue anyone who's not interested in relationship and force myself on them.
Like in Seduce Me, the first time I saw Sam he was all "What? We're gonna stay here with this... woman?! Ewww! Eww! Ewww!" (not a citation). My reaction was not "Omg, so hot!" but "Fine, you prick. I'll keep my distance"

As for glorious bastards, they're unapologetically assholes. Their jerkness isn't a facade, they're indeed jerks. And they already have some good qualities, you don't have to dig deeper to get the heart of gold like with those damn tsunderes. That's why they're so fun to watch.

I see your point
Many thanks for guiding me

I feel like im doing things on a weird order since im done with the ends and not on chap 1

[Kailoto]

I don't think I can give a useful opinion without a holistic understanding of the story. I'd prefer to see whichever one results in a better story, but that's something hard enough to pin down with my own projects, let alone someone else's.

If you really can't choose between two options, just do what I do and flip a coin. If you're satisfied with the result, then you can progress. Likewise, if you are unsatisfied with the result, then you now know that you prefer the other. And if you still feel ambivalent, then that means you didn't really care about the choice either way, and so there's no harm in leaving it up to chance.

So for example, I assign A to heads and B to tails before flipping a coin. It lands on heads, so I should write scenario A. But if I have a negative reaction when heads comes up, that means I'm not looking forward to having to write scenario A, and so I'll write scenario B instead. The whole point of flipping a coin is not to randomly choose a path, but rather to trick yourself into revealing your instincts, instead of relying on reasoning. Why? Because sometimes thinking about something trivial too much causes you to halt all progress, and the goal should be to resume writing as soon as possible.

To return to the matter at hand, I can give some speculative feedback, which is this: how can you illustrate something about a character when you introduce them? If one of the guys in question is a delinquent with a soft spot for animals, showing that contrast in action is a great way to engage the player. So if they're actually jerks, and you want the player to know that, then don't hesitate to show them being rude.

[Ozitiho]

If one of the guys in question is a delinquent with a soft spot for animals, showing that contrast in action is a great way to engage the player.

I'm engaged already.

But usually these guys are plain assholes, calling Heroines names and pushing them away. I'm not gonna work my arse off just to see their so called "soft" side and heart of gold, and I'm not gonna pursue anyone who's not interested in relationship and force myself on them.

I'll agree that tsundere's like that is a tired concept. Except if my protag is some super manipulative person who changes them with force rather than discovering their soft inside. That's cool, because I'll feel like I've achieved something. But otherwise I'd feel like I'm dealing with some unapologetic bitch.

But in the end I have to agree with Kailoto on this one. Both are entirely valid options. I have my preferences, but without an extensive context I don't feel confident that my preference would make your story more interesting. You should trust your own feelings on this one, you should know best what fits your story.

[Kailoto]

But usually these guys are plain assholes, calling Heroines names and pushing them away. I'm not gonna work my arse off just to see their so called "soft" side and heart of gold, and I'm not gonna pursue anyone who's not interested in relationship and force myself on them.

I'll agree that tsundere's like that is a tired concept. Except if my protag is some super manipulative person who changes them with force rather than discovering their soft inside. That's cool, because I'll feel like I've achieved something. But otherwise I'd feel like I'm dealing with some unapologetic bitch.

I'll agree with you on that, with one condition - tsunderes weren't always annoying.

I like to make the distinction between a modern tsundere and a traditional one. Both character types are built off of a character that is abrasive and defensive at first glance, but has a more caring side that they hide away. The difference is that traditional tsunderes were all about peeling back those layers and enabling the tsundere to be a little more open with their caring side, whereas modern tsunderes always have their walls up. You get glimpses of their soft side, but they always revert back to their old self. Traditional tsunderes are just a specific type of dynamic character. Modern tsunderes are static stereotypes. They're also everywhere nowadays, and I hate them, because they're like flat projections of the true thing - they look alike on the surface, but lack any real depth.

Anyways, don't want to derail the thread here - just had to get that out.

[Parataxis]

If a character is all jerk I will be turned off entirely. I usually give a character like that about 3 appearances before I write a character off though because I know that sometimes the first impression can be misleading. (Not to say I can't change my mind after that--Fakir from the anime Princess Tutu was a masterwork on this front. I hated his guts for the first 7 episodes and was cheering for him by episode 9)

But you can make a big difference by controlling the flavor of jerkishness in the first impression. So for instance, not every character needs to have a long turn around. If you have a character who is prickly and abrasive in general, and I just happen to get a swath of it--it will be much easier to stomach a scene 2 turn around than some one who actually targeted me with some sort of malice. It will also depend on how the protagonist takes it--if the Main character can dish as bad as she gets than I am more likely to like the guy than if she seems genuinely hurt by the encounter.

That said I will always find a character with a twist more interesting than a straight jerk or nice guy so if you are trying to intrigue the audience I suggest hinting at the twist early. A delinquent who has a soft spot for animals is a good example--but so is a nice guy who steals your shoe. I am much more interested in that guy than one who is simply nice and gives you directions. Or like in one demo I played there was a really, REALLY nice guy who you overhear professing to hating your guts. I might have pursued his route anyway--but the fact that he said that sealed the deal for me. It made me want to know what I ever could have done to warrant such an opinion.

[Ozitiho]

]I'll agree with you on that, with one condition - tsunderes weren't always annoying.

Okay I confess, I always go for the tsundere even if it's cliche. I'm a sucker in love.

[trooper6]

I may not be your target audience, but I don't like media that romanticizes unhealthy or abusive relationships. I person being a jerk to you is not romantic, it is a big red flag that says "run away really fast." Women especially don't need to have the messed up ideal reinforced that their job is to fix men who treat them poorly.

So if the love interest guys are jerks and is supposed to be a romantic draw, I'm going to turn the game off and then rant about it to my friends.

[LittleAngel]

Why not have some introduced as jerks and some introduced as nice guys. I think the variety would be nice.

[ladynamoru]

hugs* Trooper6 and Kailoto
love you guys.

As of now Im the only one writing the story so every time Im stuck ... Im really stuck and Im the only one who could pull myself up so I appreciate the guidance. (many thanks)
I might be vague with telling the story but that's because I don't want to spoil the story too much.

The original material is Dark. Im fond of writing Dark theme stories myself but as I look back to my previous works I realize that most of my works are either Tragic, Horror or both so i decided to write a light hearted Otome game as a challenge (but I ended up putting some Dark theme during the bad ends that I enjoyed writing XD)

The story might not be the cup of tea of most people. But you guys still gave me time despite your busy schedules ( i know you guys might be busy irl or finishing your games so I appreciate the guides) You guys made me realize the weakness of my plot and characters so ..... Thank you.

(Don't worry Im not fond of 50 shades of gray so I wont cross that line... )

I hope I could make new stories with different genre in the future

[trooper6]

hugs* Trooper6 and Kailoto
love you guys.

***

(Don't worry Im not fond of 50 shades of gray so I wont cross that line... )

I hope I could make new stories with different genre in the future

Thanks for the hugs--hugs back at you!

For the record I'm totally fine with dark themes...I quite like them...but I get frustrated when something is dark and messed up and the writer thinks the dark and messed up thing is an ideal romance. You know...like 50 Shades of Gray.

I read this really funny feminist re-do of 50 Shades that was hilarious...but I can't find it anymore. Oh, internet.

[Kailoto]

hugs* Trooper6 and Kailoto
love you guys.

As of now Im the only one writing the story so every time Im stuck ... Im really stuck and Im the only one who could pull myself up so I appreciate the guidance. (many thanks)
I might be vague with telling the story but that's because I don't want to spoil the story too much.

The original material is Dark. Im fond of writing Dark theme stories myself but as I look back to my previous works I realize that most of my works are either Tragic, Horror or both so i decided to write a light hearted Otome game as a challenge (but I ended up putting some Dark theme during the bad ends that I enjoyed writing XD)

The story might not be the cup of tea of most people. But you guys still gave me time despite your busy schedules ( i know you guys might be busy irl or finishing your games so I appreciate the guides) You guys made me realize the weakness of my plot and characters so ..... Thank you.

(Don't worry Im not fond of 50 shades of gray so I wont cross that line... )

I hope I could make new stories with different genre in the future

No problem! I like helping out, and do it for myself as much as I do for others. By trying to work through the problems other people have, you can learn a lot about how to tackle your own.

I don't mind dark stories either - my favorite type of protagonist is one who suffers a burden instead of conquering obstacles. There's something more profound in it, I think, and it's easier to draw parallels to the world we live in. Likewise, I enjoy stories where the antagonist is an unstoppable force of nature, such as distance or time, because it forces the characters to either adapt to the world or go down fighting. Strangely enough, I like dark stories not because they're more twisted or terrifying than our world, but because they deal with very real problems that we face every day.

I'm not much for BDSM either, but I can understand that there's people out there who do like it, and they can do their own thing. There's a lot of stuff I don't like or don't agree with in the world, but I try to accept or tolerate most of it. Just because I believe (or refuse to believe) in something doesn't mean it's an absolute truth.

Anyways, thanks for taking the time to respond, and good luck with your writing! We're always here to help if you need it.

[trooper6]

I'm not much for BDSM either, but I can understand that there's people out there who do like it, and they can do their own thing. There's a lot of stuff I don't like or don't agree with in the world, but I try to accept or tolerate most of it. Just because I believe (or refuse to believe) in something doesn't mean it's an absolute truth.

Side Note: 50 Shades is not a good example of BDSM...at all.

[Kailoto]

I'm not much for BDSM either, but I can understand that there's people out there who do like it, and they can do their own thing. There's a lot of stuff I don't like or don't agree with in the world, but I try to accept or tolerate most of it. Just because I believe (or refuse to believe) in something doesn't mean it's an absolute truth.

Side Note: 50 Shades is not a good example of BDSM...at all.

Oh no, I understand that. Just like Twilight isn't a great example of vampires.