The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

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Horma
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The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#1 Post by Horma »

So, I've been toying with this kinda horrifying story idea for about three years and the middle parts are still blurry. Should I just start writing?

Here's the summary (warning: might be offensive)

A teenage boy fears that he might be a pedophile and hurt his little brother. He is about to commit suicide when a mysterious man appears out of nowhere to save him. The two of them become friends, but the man is not who he claims to be...

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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#2 Post by Mammon »

Not really much of a summary to go on, while I understand that you don't want to reveil the ending quite yet I can't really tell what the middle might look like with this little. Though, how can a teenager be a pedophile, isn't he still a minor himself?

Welp, let's try anyway. Should you just start writing: No. If the middle is still blurry, then don't. Try to write a summary/synopsis of the story. Not a short one like you did here, but a long one that specifies every scene you've got planned in chronological order. No writing a few pieces of the scene, but what the scene will be like and what purpose it serves. This summary should be around 5% of your eventual story in length. You plan to write a 100 page story, write a summary of those events that's 5 pages long. Not for me or anyone else to read. It's just for you, so that you get your idea on paper and can start organising it. No matter how well you think your idea is organised in your head, it's always less than you think until you actually write it out.
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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#3 Post by FluffyCakeFactory »

I encountered that problem as well! Just starting to write the script didn't work for me. Instead I summed up the story as short as possible.
The protagonist meets a catgirl in the park. He ends up helping her pass an exam so she can become a real girl.
From there I tried to add more details, mostly by asking questions. In this case: how do they meet? Why does he help her? What kind of exam is it? Why does she want to become a real girl? When will the protagonist learn about her background?
One day the protagonist takes a walk in the park because he's depressed. Suddenly it starts to rain but he doesn't have an umbrella. Someone taps on his back. As he turns around, a cute girl is in front of him. She gives him her umbrella. At first he doesn't want to accept it, but she says she has a magazine she xan use to protect herself from the rain. Relucantly he takes the umbrellas from her, but he wants to return the favour. Thus she asks him for help with an exam and he agrees. They arrange a meeting in the park on Sunday. At home the protagonist notices he doesn't even know what kind of exam it is. When they meet, he asks her about it, but she seems uncomfortable giving out details and says it's an entrance exam. After some study sessions she opens up and tells him it's for a boy she likes but he doesn't even notice her. On their last study date she finally confesses she's a cat that can turn into a human for a short period but would like to become a real girl. After she is gone the protagonist realises she's the stray cat he's been taking care of for some time. She passes the exam and they start dating (or as bad end she fsils and they never meet again)
Now there's still a lot missing in the middle, but we can get there by asking more questions like how many study sessions are there? What do they talk about? What does he teach her? Etc.

I came up with that idea just now and just by asking questions I was able to develop more of the story. I hope this helps! It's been an useful technique for me several times already.

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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#4 Post by Zelan »

Mammon and FluffyCakeFactory both have very good advice, so I'm definitely not saying that they're wrong. However, I think there's a definite possibility that just taking the plunge and writing could be very helpful to you. Summarizing is great and all, but I find that a lot of times the point that I really get going is when I actually start writing; once I actually have a tangible first scene and not just a summary of that scene, sometimes the next scene comes easier.

Maybe summarizing works for you, maybe it doesn't, maybe writing does or doesn't, whatever. Just experiment with it. If neither of those work, you could find someone to be an idea bouncer and/or co-writer to help you out when you're stuck.

Also, FluffyCakeFactory, I hope you do something with that story you came up with on the spot... I like it. I'd play it.

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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#5 Post by Horma »

Thanks!

This story already has a conclusion, yes. And my problem is that the beginning is boom and the ending is surprising and emotional, but the middle is so boring.

And Mammon, teenagers can predate on younger children, but that's not really the case with this character. He just has mental issues that make him believe bad things about himself.

Here's a better summary:
The teenager (let's call him Blenny) is alone at home with his brother (Goby) when he has a psychotic breakdown and takes a knife. Goby tries to stop Blenny from hurting himself but Blenny tells him: "I hate you." When Goby has left, Blenny makes the first cut. That's when a stranger appears and takes the knife away from Blenny. The stranger introduces himself as Milo Baloughnal. Blenny is too out of it to even think about how Milo got inside the apartment.

Milo quickly becomes Blenny's only friend. They attend a concert together and Blenny even tells Milo his horrible secret. However, when Blenny sees a comic book about an astronaut called Milo Baloughnal, he realizes that the man is lying about who he is and cuts him out.

A week afterwards, Blenny comes home from school and finds Goby bound and gagged. The man who once was Milo reveals himself as Goby from the future and demands Blenny to come with him or he'll kill his younger self. Blenny tells his little brother goodbye and that he has no reason to hate himself. Then he leaves for the future.

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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#6 Post by Mammon »

Horma wrote:This story already has a conclusion, yes. And my problem is that the beginning is boom and the ending is surprising and emotional, but the middle is so boring.
Then perhaps you should try add some things that are not relevant to the plot or a new element. Something like a mid-villain that kicks things into gear, who turns out to be future Blenny who came trying to prevent the finale from happening but ends up making things worse.
Horma wrote:And Mammon, teenagers can predate on younger children, but that's not really the case with this character. He just has mental issues that make him believe bad things about himself.
I'm aware that teenagers can commit acts of sexual assault, but depending on the age it might be incorrect to call him a pedophile. Teenagers have to be a whole generation older than the victim for that term to apply and at least 16+ (as far as I'm aware), are the two brothers that far apart in age?
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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#7 Post by Horma »

The mid-villain idea is certainly interesting, thanks!

As for the pedophile thing... Blenny is 14 and Goby is 6. I'm aware that it can't be classified as pedophilia, but Blenny doesn't really know that. On the other hand, I'm thinking about dropping this element, because the story seems to work better without it. Plus, suicidal behaviour doesn't really need a justification like that.

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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#8 Post by LateWhiteRabbit »

Mammon wrote:Teenagers have to be a whole generation older than the victim for that term to apply and at least 16+ (as far as I'm aware), are the two brothers that far apart in age?
Just wanted to chime in - that's not true. Legally, all that is required is that the teenager be 4 years or more older than the person they have sexual interest in. And that doesn't seem like a lot, but you have to remember that at those ages, 4 years is a huge difference developmentally. A 14-15 year old expressing sexual interest in a 9-10 year old isn't normal. According to current psychological research, pedophilia emerges during puberty and is something the teenager discovers themselves to be - just like other people may discover themselves to be homosexual during this time. (Not trying to be controversial or conflate the two - but according to psychologists, from the point of view of the young pedophile, the discovery and struggle with what they are is very similar.)

Horma - it really doesn't sound like Blenny is a pedophile. Wanting to hurt someone with a knife doesn't fit with that - that's psychotic behavior. Pedophile behavior would be if Blenny was sexually aroused by Goby. He might be deeply ashamed of that, and that might cause him to want to self-harm, but wanting to harm his brother just means he's psychotic.

And now, if you'll all excuse me, I feel like I need to go wash my brain in bleach.

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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#9 Post by Horma »

Well, I may have worded that summary wrong. What I meant that Blenny feels so guilty of having intrusive thoughts about his brother so he decides to kill himself. And when Goby refuses to leave him alone, he lashes out at him.

That's actually one of my problems too: I assume people understand my descriptions, but they don't. Usually people tell and don't show, but I don't tell enough. It's something I was told to work on one writing course. I guess it's because I want to be mysterious or something.

The middle part has actually started to clear out, so I don't really need help with that right now. I guess I'll try writing something for a change.

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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#10 Post by Katy133 »

Horma wrote:So, I've been toying with this kinda horrifying story idea for about three years and the middle parts are still blurry. Should I just start writing?
There's a great book by Stuart Horwitz called "Book Architecture: How to Plot and Outline without Using a Formula." It's incredibly useful (it's gotten me out of a lot of story-related jams) because instead of asking you to write your story to a constricting (and often dull and/or vague) formula, the guidebook instead asks you to draw your story's scenes and moments onto a "story grid."

Stuart Horwitz wrote an article about it here and he even includes a story grid J.K. Rowling wrote for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, as well as a free PDF of the first chapter from Horwitz's Book Architecture.

TL;DR: A story grid is organised as follows:
Column 1: Chapter number.
Column 2: Time the series ("series" as in "a reoccurring event/motif that's linked to the story's main theme") takes place within the story (some stories are told out of chronological order).
Column 3: Chapter title.
Column 4: Plot. Basically, the "plot" is all the "series" from columns 5-onward meshed together. (Plot=Series1+Series2+Series3+etc)
Column 5-onward: Each of these columns represents a series.
Rows: Each row is a different chapter.

For a story grid example, see J.K. Rowling's.
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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#11 Post by Horma »

Thanks Katy! I'll be checking that method out.

By the way, I know that a main character can be unlikable, but is mine too much? My intention is to make him surprisingly symphathetic. Someone who keeps doing mistakes but in the end redeems himself. The initial conflict is that he doesn't want to tell his parents about his problems because he's afraid that he'll be institutionalized and never see his family again. I'm wondering if the current ending plan is too anticlimatic. Maybe I'll come up with something better.

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Re: The middle part is the hardest to figure out...

#12 Post by chocoberrie »

Katy133 wrote:
Horma wrote:So, I've been toying with this kinda horrifying story idea for about three years and the middle parts are still blurry. Should I just start writing?
There's a great book by Stuart Horwitz called "Book Architecture: How to Plot and Outline without Using a Formula." It's incredibly useful (it's gotten me out of a lot of story-related jams) because instead of asking you to write your story to a constricting (and often dull and/or vague) formula, the guidebook instead asks you to draw your story's scenes and moments onto a "story grid."

Stuart Horwitz wrote an article about it here and he even includes a story grid J.K. Rowling wrote for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, as well as a free PDF of the first chapter from Horwitz's Book Architecture.

TL;DR: A story grid is organised as follows:
Column 1: Chapter number.
Column 2: Time the series ("series" as in "a reoccurring event/motif that's linked to the story's main theme") takes place within the story (some stories are told out of chronological order).
Column 3: Chapter title.
Column 4: Plot. Basically, the "plot" is all the "series" from columns 5-onward meshed together. (Plot=Series1+Series2+Series3+etc)
Column 5-onward: Each of these columns represents a series.
Rows: Each row is a different chapter.

For a story grid example, see J.K. Rowling's.
This looks incredibly helpful, thank you for sharing! :) I'm working on writing a story for my first VN, and I find myself struggling a bit. Perhaps it's the genre I chose that's making it difficult (slice of life) but I'm determined to keep going!

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