On Pacing

[Firgof]

I'm pretty new to writing VNs and lately I've been having trouble gauging my story's pacing. How much of this complex, weird, world I'm writing to introduce at a time; how quickly to resolve points along the story's line; how quickly to move the main character from their ordinary life to their character development arc.

Does anyone have any rules of thumb for all that? Or do I just need to find an editor or playtesters? I'm really worried about burning my readers out by just throwing too many new names, concepts, and details at them all at once -- but I'm also worried about going too slow as well. How do y'all find your pacing sweet spots?

[Ezmar]

Think of what you want your reader to learn by the end of the scene you're writing, and find a way to get that information into the scene. As you're doing this, be introducing the characters, and develop them while they deliver the information. Show the reader about the characters and world while the characters tell the reader about it. It takes practice to do it well, but you can increase the density of information you're delivering by maximizing the use of implicit information.

[Mutive]

One of the tricks I've found is that, the more important something is, the more words (in general) should be devoted for it.

So if you're introducing a waitress who's job is just to bring coffee, the correct pacing might be:

"The waitress brings you the coffee."

If she's clearly going to be a major love interest, correct pacing might be something like:

"The waitress sets the coffee mug on the table. You notice that her fingernails are chewed down, but that her fingers are long and graceful. You look up and inadvertently catch her eye, then look down at her nametag, which is covered by her long brown hair. You're worried that you're staring at her breasts, and flush. She seems to notice and winks."

If you use the second when the waitress was supposed to be a one time character, you confuse the reader. (Who's wondering why you're spending so much time describing someone unimportant.) If you use the second when the waitress is supposed to be the love of the main character's life, the reader likely won't remember her when she reappears in the story.

[Wudgeous]

I'm going to try to communicate a few different things I wish I appreciated earlier...

I've been a burned out reader, playtester and editor many times; most often when my feedback was excessively solicited, unpaid, and ultimately seemed to have no major impact on the creator.
As such, I've also worried about burning my own readers, and have since taken a more independent stance. I have a personal rule that, unless I make significant progress on my WIP, I'm not allowed to show anybody what I've accomplished. It postpones validation. The comments I receive from playtesters feel that much more sincere when they haven't been bombarded with anxious, erratic updates.


I don't think there is such a thing as pacing sweet spots. Even the most accomplished authors and designers make bad calls. I wholly agree with the previous comments -- that pacing takes time, experience, practice and maybe a few tips.
Personally I like to study the techniques (or lack thereof) in content that I'd consume regardless -- shows on Netflix, books I picked up on sale, VNs that catch my interest. Do the creators gloss over the worldbuilding in favor of action, or did they way spend too long on exposition? Did they introduce a character too quickly? Etc. Using critical thinking, even watching a bad movie can be a learning experience. I've also watched a lot of youtube reviews, and borrowed their critical thinking.


On the other (more proactive) hand, though perhaps this is a more advanced technique, I would suggest this method: https://phantomrose96.tumblr.com/post/1 ... ng-to-like
It works not only for general writing, but for a game script as well. Coding and all.


Best of luck!

[Seraphian]

Apologies if this is too old a thread but this resonated with me because this was my #1 question when I started working on my first game. I found that there are really a bunch of important factors.

First, this is something where individual preferences will vary greatly, but if your VN has player input or branching of any kind (as opposed to a straight KN), be mindful of how much space there is where the player is simply reading. As I said preferences do vary and for some big scenes I had to break the rule but I tried to aim for the goal of no more than 10-12 panes of dialogue without player input, even if it's just a "phantom input" that doesn't cause much branching (if it changes one or two lines of dialogue or something). I was aiming for something that had a lot of roleplaying elements so the goal was never to force the player to respond to something with a given attitude, if they'd be speaking and it's more than a "good morning!" or something, I wanted to let them interact and pick how they were talking to people-- are they being nice, rude, defensive, confident, unsure, whatever. The #1 thing that turned me off of any given VN was feeling like I was reading a novel with occasional interruptions to pick a major branch, or finding myself going "wha? why did I say that? I didn't want to be rude to him!". I find this is especially important in the intro, where otherwise it can feel like a giant unskippable cutscene in an RPG game.

That said using only major branching is simpler to write and program, and some people don't mind a VN with only a handful of big plot branches, but I find I prefer a more active role in the story.


Second most important in my opinion is that players will tolerate mixing types of information, and you shouldn't ever dump information in a block. Too much exposition in a lump is disastrous, too much action at once can seem overwhelming, so "kuttering" (to use the term of the Turkey City Writer's Workshop), where you drop in little things all throughout, is a great tactic. In the description of the big laser gunfight you drop details about how laser weapons and ray shields work in your universe, in the description of how they get to the place to do the thing you explain a bit about teleportation magic, etc. Another good tip from the Turkey City Lexicon (by noted sci/fi author Bruce Sterling) is to work the "edges of ideas": Oftentimes we don't NEED to know the physics or science behind it, we just need to know how it's affecting people's lives. The exact details of the parliamentary politics isn't important, what's important is that now werewolves have to register with the government; the exact details of quantum radio transmission isn't important, what's important is that ships can't reliably call home for orders so every spaceship captain has a lot of leeway and authority to do what they think is best. Before explaining too much, think about how relevant it is. Now in a game, as opposed to a short story or novel, we do need some more information, we need enough to be able to make meaningful choices. In a novel you can get away without explaining the explicit toolkit and skillsets of the protagonist as long as you as a writer know and you keep it consistent, but in a game I need to know what I can do and what I can't do, and an idea of why something might be a good or a bad idea, to make meaningful choices. That said, you rarely need to give them the full widget factory tour.


Third, every line should accomplish something: it should set a tone, it should impart some information about setting, characterization or plot, it should advance a relationship or plotline. Ever notice in movies how they always start a scene with them on the phone, or at the very least they never script out the "hello?" "hello!" "this is Bob is Alice there?" "This is Alice" "Hi Alice how have you been?" part? Skip out pleasantries and filler dialogue, or summarize it in a block "I called Alice and filled her in on the details, she didn't say much, I guess she must have been pretty surprised." Think, constantly "what does this sentence accomplish?" and be brutal about cutting content.


Fourth, Mind the tone. Pacing that moves slightly too fast can either be really jarring or not that noticeable depending on the subject matter. Sudden changes in emotional tenor, mood, phrasing or level of diction, these call a lot of attention to a shift, so if they come in quick succession then they make it feel like a runaway train. Ensure chunks of a given tone are long enough that you can end them gracefully and signify a mood change-- unless of course the jarring change is part of what you're trying to do. There's absolutely room for an angry ex-boyfriend suddenly interrupting a romance scene or a catastrophic event or really bad news interrupting a scene, what I mean is more along the lines of when you've done that, ensure the scene plays out long enough that each mood has some time to dwell. Four or five lines of lovey-dovey date followed by three or four lines of finding out your best friend died and then onto a new scene with a whole new tone would be whiplash-inducing but way that 5-10 lines of date, interruption, finding out your best friend died over another 5 lines or so, then a scene in the same emotional tone of you walking home alone thinking about your friend and then going to bed would nicely wrap the moods together and let you start a new scene naturally.


Fifth, players attach importance based on lines given to something. Be aware of Chekhov's Gun-- if you give someone a one-line introduction it would be a bit jarring if they're then the main antagonist (unless it's a mystery game or something where that can be a legit tactic but even then it may seem cheap) likewise giving someone a lavish description indicates "this person will matter", if I'm playing a slice of life dating sim and a character gets a substantial introduction and a lot of screen time I probably expect they'll be a romance option, or at least some other major role in the story (best friend, rival, etc).


And sixth, there's no magic bullet, and people will tolerate bad for good. Good writing will make people forgive bad pacing, especially if it's entertaining to read. If the plot is compelling a player may not mind the fact it's coming at them at a million miles an hour. I would err on the side of too slow than too fast, myself, because you can always cut, and as you said in your post, playtesting is really where you'll find out how it runs in practice. Also, just focus on giving your plot room to breathe, make sure there's some time between things, don't push it too hard and you'll find a natural rhythm that works for you.