Lemma Soft Forums

So I'm back to working on my project after a short break mildly related to a crisis of confidence in writing. I've had a couple of people give some really useful feedback based on a painfully rough first draft kind of thing, so it's time for edit mode.

The issue I'm now having is that my pacing is off. While the content, style, and characters seem to be reading as intended, the plot is moving too fast for readers to keep up with. When initially writing I think the feeling I had was not wanting to spend too long on parts that players will potentially be replaying 4 times to see all 4 main routes, because it is one downside I felt to Code:Realize GoR that the common route was long and with very little variation, so by the time you're playing through the final unlockable route you're watching the clock while waiting for it to skip to the next choice. But I've definitely leaned too far in the opposite direction, not allowing enough exposition and time for events to happen and process before they move on to the next event/area.

I'm considering using some recap scenes for extra exposition, extending existing scenes, and adding in a few extra scenes to pad it out and slow it down to let the world state settle in. Are there any other techniques or tips for adjusting pacing and tackling editing?

It's a bit of a pain when I sit there looking at a scene like this works, it works for these reasons, and I can't really see a way for the story to linger in this area much longer without breaking half the reason the plot and character development works here.

Should I be looking at being brutal and ditching some scenes and reworking the story entirely? Or keeping the things I'm happy with and adding more in and around them to pad them out?
Additionally, is repeating the same points a good way to reinforce what has happened, or does it risk over-emphasising plot points that aren't important (or exposing the chekhov's gun moments too early)?

I know this is difficult to show without actually having read it at all, but I know at the very least one issue is that I know where my story is going, and all the backstory and world state, so I need to give readers more time for it to settle in. It's too easy to get excited about where it is heading and forget to expand on where it is, especially while ideas are still forming, developing, and gaining flavour.

JenivereDomino wrote: ↑

Fri Jan 08, 2021 5:07 pm

When initially writing I think the feeling I had was not wanting to spend too long on parts that players will potentially be replaying 4 times to see all 4 main routes . . .

I personally wouldn't worry about this at all. It almost never bothers me to just hit skip and zoom through the common route of a VN again, even if it's on the longer side. It's just a typical part of the process.

It's hard to make any specific suggestions without reading it, but one thing I see a lot of newer writers doing that can make their pacing way too fast is just jumping right into every major plot point without anything else happening surrounding it - for a random example I just made up, maybe we're just given one or two lines of narration to say that the protagonist and their friend were on their way to school when suddenly the villain showed up, and then the villain immediately says a few lines of dialogue of threats about the big evil thing they're going to do, and then disappears again, and now we're onto the next scene already. If I was editing and fleshing out a scene like that, I would probably ask questions like, well what were the protagonist and their friend talking about before the villain appeared? Maybe a bit more dialogue between them could establish or hint at something important. Or maybe it could just be something funny and interesting that shows us a little more of the characters and their personalities. Then, how do they feel about and react to the sudden appearance of the villain? Are they scared of the villain and worried about what might happen, or are they more confident heroes who might make some snarky comments about the villain's evil speech? What do they say to each other afterward about what just happened? I think that in the visual novel medium especially, adding a little bit more dialogue surrounding each event is a pretty safe bet, and can give you more opportunities to establish and develop your characters. Of course, I'm not sure if that's the kind of pacing problem you're having at all, but hopefully it might help!

Thanks

Yeah the feedback I had was partly that I'm moving from plot point to plot point a bit fast (so I've been adding in some more scenes so they're not moving to the next location too fast) and also that it was a little hard to follow. The other main thing was that the protagonist hadn't really shown much of a reaction to the loss of a childhood friend - I was apprehensive about overdoing it here because of things I have planned later and not wanting to draw too much attention to it yet, but the feedback was right when I looked again that she doesn't seem to have more than a few moments pause despite her whole life turning upside down. So I've added in more to show her feelings about this, and how she decides to move forward, and referencing it a little more as it would be shaping her actions and attitudes somewhat.

Thankfully now I have a friend set up to be an ongoing test reader so I should be able to get some more detailed ongoing feedback as I add and change things which is going to be beyond useful, and I'm also hopeful that by adding more into a diary section later for people to go back and read a summary of the story that it'll make things clearer.

I think generally my mistake can be summed up as day 1 big thing happens, day 2 they're in a new location but only stay there for 1 day/1 thing happening, then on to another day and another place between locations, then right in to a third major location with not enough time for any of the development to sink in. I'm feeling a bit more confident now knowing what I did right and wrong, but it is still hard to edit things when scenes have to be changed or discarded when I was previously fond of them!

JenivereDomino wrote: ↑

Tue Jan 12, 2021 2:22 pm

I'm feeling a bit more confident now knowing what I did right and wrong, but it is still hard to edit things when scenes have to be changed or discarded when I was previously fond of them!

If you weren't doing this already, I suggest keeping your old draft that had those scenes you liked in it saved somewhere before making your new edits on a new copy! That might make you feel a bit better about it since it's less like deleting them entirely, and you also never know when something else might change later in development and you might think "oooh, I could reuse that really good line that got cut earlier."

I've so far managed to keep or rewrite the things I liked most, and can always use github to look at my older versions if needed. I think I've made my peace with the scenes now for the most part, just had to get my head around how to approach it all